I'll Never Stop, page 8
I nodded. It wasn’t exactly what I’d suspected, but close enough. “I figured as much,” I told her. “I’m sorry that happened to you. Ten minutes is a long time at that age. Hell, ten minutes is a long time even now sometimes.”
“Are you referring to your stamina?” she teased. “Because let me tell you, Finn, ten minutes is not a long time.”
I chuckled, glad she was still able to throw her sass at me. “Oh, princess, if you want, I can show you my stamina.”
“I’ll pass,” she said.
“Speaking of which, back to last night. Thank you for telling me about your history.”
“Figure you were owed at least that much for helping me last night,” she told me.
“You don’t owe me anything, but I’m glad I could help.”
“And thanks for bringing my phone back,” she added.
“Guess it was fate. If it wasn’t for the phone, I wouldn’t have come back to your place. And if I didn’t come back, I wouldn’t have been able to be there for you. And if I wasn’t there for you, we wouldn’t have been able to—”
She cut me off before I could get out the word, “kiss.”
“I needed help yesterday, and you were there for me. Whatever way it happened, it worked. You got my mind off my fears. You distracted me effectively. And even before that, I appreciate you trying to comfort me. I do. Especially since we’re well…us. Not exactly best buddies. You could have easily not come back to give me my phone. And even when you did, you could have just left it at my doorstep, but you went a step further, found me, and then you were there for me. So, thank you, Finn. But that’s it. I needed help; you helped me. That’s all that happened yesterday.”
“I brought your phone back because I was worried you might need a way to get ahold of someone if something happened. And something did happen, but I doubt you would have had the wherewithal to use your phone then anyway. I went in because I was worried when you didn’t answer, and the lights were out. I thought you might have headed out with no way to contact anyone. And I comforted you because you needed someone to do that. And I kissed you to distract you. But let’s be real. That wasn’t where it ended.”
“Yeah, Finn, it is. So, once again, thank you. I appreciate it. But really, that’s it. You’re still you, and I’m still me. We’re still busting each other’s balls. Nothing’s changed, except that you might be a marginally better human being than I originally thought,” she added with a teasing smile. “So…let’s just continue being us. It’s worked so far.”
“Okay, princess. You keep telling yourself that.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“It just means if you want to pretend, we’ll go ahead and pretend. Whatever you say. Whatever you want.”
“Ugh,” she said, throwing her hands up. “You’re annoying.”
“Well, I never said I would change. Just that we changed,” I said with a wink. “But fine, whatever, we’ll have it your way…for now.”
I turned and walked ahead of her, ending the conversation.
The puzzle of Eliza kept getting trickier. And the more complicated she became, the more I wanted to unlock the puzzle. The more I wanted her.
And damn if I didn’t get what I wanted.
But I was patient. I could wait…besides, it didn’t look like I was going anywhere anytime soon. And I was secretly okay with that.
Eliza
IF I THOUGHT the day I had a breakdown was bad, this day was worse. No, nothing really happened. No random spills, no shitty interviews, nothing of the sort. It was my head this time. My damn head was messed up, thanks to Finn and his kiss. Was I successful in forgetting about Finn kissing me? Not a chance. But was I successful in pushing it to the back of my mind? That would also be a no.
I’d crawled reluctantly out of bed where my body wanted to remain despite my brain telling it to can it with the crazy sexual Finn dreams—yep, those happened. They were similar to the night before, but instead of us breaking apart, Finn leaving in a hurried state, and calling my friends, I’d ended up on top of him, clothes off, bodies intertwined. There were even a few dreams where we were somehow transported back to high school, complete with him telling me he had notebooks filled with pages of my name too. And then teenage sloppy sex, but we weirdly looked like our adult versions of ourselves, just in bad clothes with bad hair.
I managed to make it look like I’d actually had a restful night—thank you, makeup. And by the time I’d walked out the door, I told myself to push thoughts of Finn to the back of my mind. It worked for all of two seconds. And then Finn was there, waiting for me by my door, wanting to talk about it. What the hell was there to talk about? He used an unconventional method to distract me from a shitty situation, and it worked. End of story. I mean, what was going to happen now? We’d magically stop hating each other. Yeah right, buddy. That only worked in books. Or, in my case, only if we could go back in time and stop Finn from humiliating me.
But the conversation worked to make me not forget Finn’s kiss. Needless to say, I ended up thinking about it all day.
“You okay, princess? You seem a little distracted,” Finn asked at one point. He conveniently emphasized the word, “distracted.” I ignored that little bit.
“Just thinking about last night.” Finn smiled wide, like a Cheshire cat. “Not that,” I said with annoyance. “I was just…it was just a rough night.”
“Tell me about it,” he replied with a wink.
Shaking my head, I walked away, but his laughter followed me.
I managed to take care of everything I needed to do that day with little fanfare even though my mind was elsewhere. Thank goodness women were good at multitasking.
“Next stop, the agency,” Finn announced after we’d left a meeting that was actually close to the agency. His proximity was getting to me. I had gotten surprisingly used to it, but not that day. That day, whenever he was close enough that I could smell his cologne, my mind went right back to the kiss…or to my dreams. Either way, I needed a break from him.
“I think I’ll walk over there. You can just drive there, and I’ll meet you out front.”
“Why?”
“Why what?” I asked.
“Why do you want to walk?”
“I just need some fresh air.”
“Is that why?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course, it is. I have a lot on my mind, and I just need to clear it. Some fresh air will do me good.”
“I’m sure you do have a lot on your mind.” I knew what he was getting at, but I wouldn’t let him.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I have a lot on my plate right now, so yeah, I have a lot of thoughts in my head…about work, of course.”
“Work, yes, got it. Okay, let’s walk then.”
“You’re not walking with me.”
“Yes, I am,” he told me.
“The point of clearing my head and getting some fresh air is to be alone.”
“Be alone all you want in the safety and comfort of your home. But out here, my job is to be on you twenty-four seven. If you’re walking, I’m walking.”
“What about the car?”
“Guess we’ll have to walk back to get it,” he said with a shrug.
“No way, I don’t want you walking with me,” I said, giving him my annoyed face.
“Um, princess, I hate to break it to you, but we’ve already walked a block together,” he announced, and I stopped short to look at where we were.
I looked around. “Dammit.” He was right. “Fine, whatever, just…back away,” I said, shooing him away with my hands as I turned to walk again.
And that was when it happened. My foot caught on a part of the sidewalk that had cracked, causing me to stumble, my impending ungraceful fall just seconds away from happening. But I didn’t make it to the ground. Instead, I found myself staring up into Finn’s face. Like in a classic movie scene, he’d caught me before I crashed, me in his arms, his face mere inches from my own.
And then it got closer, and closer, and closer until just a tiny space remained between us. I didn’t straighten up. I didn’t try to get free from his arms. I was unable to fight the magnet pulling us together…closer still, closer…until no space was left between us. His lips were once again on mine, kissing lightly at first before bruising them, punishing me for trying to deny what had happened the night before.
And just like the night before, I kissed him back. But this…I’d have no excuse for.
Finn
ELIZA PUT HER hands on my chest and pushed up, her lips still locked on mine. She wasn’t strong enough to truly push me off her, but the intention was there. And I wasn’t going to force her to keep kissing me, no matter how much I wanted it and no matter how much I knew she wanted it. How did I know? I repeat, she hadn’t pulled her mouth away from mine.
I straightened up, taking her with me. Keeping the kiss going a little longer, I savored it, feeling her mouth locked on mine and her hands wrapped tightly on my arms. She held on as though I was her lifeline, and if she let go, she’d fall. I wouldn’t let her fall. Or would I? Plenty of metaphors came to mind. Maybe I’d let her “fall,” and simply be there to catch her when she did.
That wasn’t the only reason she dug her fingers into my arms. I could tell she was full of passion that she kept in check. She would be a firecracker in bed, I was sure of it, complete with scratch marks down my back and bite marks on my shoulder. She wanted more, I knew it, but she wouldn’t let herself go there. So instead, she did the equivalent of a madman’s version of balling her hands into fists—she gripped my arms. She let me know with that little gesture I was absolutely sure she was unaware of just how much she secretly wanted me.
Which, of course, had me going back to one of my theories. Eliza was too controlled, too focused, too determined to let a distraction steer her away. And I was that distraction. It made me believe more than ever the reason she hated me was because she wanted me, and she didn’t want to. Too bad desires and common sense didn’t always go hand-in-hand.
When Eliza had both feet off the ground, we’d naturally pulled away from each other, but her hands didn’t let go of my arms, and I didn’t drop the protective arms I had around her. Instead, we stared at each other, breathing deeply, in and out, eyes full of lust, and hers with an added layer of confusion.
Me? No confusion here. I wanted Eliza. She was hot, she was nice, and she was sassy. What was there not to want?
“Should we talk about our kiss now?” I asked. It was all the words she needed to snap out of whatever trance she’d been under. She dropped her hands and pulled back, effectively forcing me to drop my arms. We were now a few feet apart, and I didn’t like that very much.
“No,” she said with a firm shake of her head.
“Oh, so we’re just two people who like to kiss here and there?” I asked with a hint of sarcasm.
“That’s not…it’s not…that’s not what’s happening here,” she answered. Her stuttering was endearing.
“So let’s talk about what is happening here. More specifically, what’s happening between us.”
“Nothing,” she said too quickly.
“Nothing, huh? What do you call what just happened between us then?”
“We’ve both been under a lot of stress lately. It messed with the chemical balances in our brain.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.”
“I was still reeling from my panic attack last night,” she tried to tell me.
“You weren’t reeling all day,” I countered.
“I tripped, and you helped me.”
“With my mouth?” I replied. I didn’t let her get another bullshit excuse in. “Come on, Eliza. You could have played that card with yesterday’s kiss. Saying I helped to distract you. Because it’s the truth. But what about today? You didn’t stop me. You didn’t want to stop me. You wanted it to happen. Your face came closer to mine just as mine came closer to yours.”
“You caught me in a moment.”
“And what moment is that?”
“Every girl has a secret hopeless romantic side. I fell, and you caught me. Insert cheesy rom-com here. The little romantic in me played out the movie scene in real life. I can guarantee you I wouldn’t be the only woman.”
“Stop. Just stop. Admit something is going on between us. Admit you want me as much as I want you. Then we can give in to our feelings and stop dancing around each other. There’s chemistry here.”
“What chemistry? We fight all the time.”
“More like banter,” I clarified. “And it’s called foreplay, princess.”
“Ugh,” she said but didn’t fling her arms out. “And you call me princess.”
“I believe I already mentioned that nicknames are a sign of love. Don’t worry, though, princess, no love here.”
“Thank God for small miracles,” she muttered, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“You want me. I want you. What’s the problem? We’re both adults. Why can’t we handle what’s between us and nothing more?”
“Because nothing can ever happen between us!” she said so loudly that a few people around us turned their heads. I didn’t care, though. We weren’t done talking about this, and having a little audience didn’t faze me.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t even like you.”
“That’s fine, princess. Half the time, I don’t really like you either,” I answered, and before she could say anything else, I moved quickly. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me, cradling her back with my other hand, and pressed my lips against hers.
She was in shock for just a split second, enough for her to gasp, and I took the opportunity to run my tongue along her parted lips. When her lips opened a little more, that was my invitation. I delved my tongue in her mouth, finding hers. She moaned as her tongue moved with mine. Fuck, she was a good kisser. I didn’t want it to stop. And by the way her hands moved back to my arms, the way her body arched just a bit to get closer to mine, and the way her mouth fused with my lips, she didn’t want it to stop either.
I didn’t know how long we kissed, but it was one of the best I’d ever experienced.
And then her fucking phone rang, breaking the spell.
“Shit,” she muttered as she pulled away abruptly, fishing in her pocket for her phone. “Shit, it’s Dorian. We’re late.”
She picked up and told him we were held up but almost there before hanging up.
“Come on, let’s go,” she urged as if nothing had happened. Like I said, she was as professional as they came. Work came first.
“Fine,” I said, nodding my head and following her. “But this isn’t over.”
“Oh yes, it is,” she said with a confidence she shouldn’t have had right then.
“Whatever you say, princess. Whatever you say.”
Eliza
“HEY, DANNY,” I answered right away, wearing a smile on my face. Danny was a fellow model and one of my only friends in the industry. He’d been my first shoot partner. We were both wet behind the ears at the time, but Danny had a couple more shoots under his belt.
I had barely gotten used to being in front of the camera when a duet shoot had been pushed into my lap. I wasn’t in the position to refuse, nor did I want to. I wanted to do everything that was thrown at me. That didn’t mean I was ready to be intimate with a stranger. Fake intimate or not, I was still about to share my personal space with someone I didn’t know. Needless to say, I was nervous. And it showed.
Instead of being annoyed—which was what my natural assumptions of models, especially male models and very good-looking ones on top of that—Danny chuckled.
“You’re me a few months ago,” he had told me.
“Huh?”
“It’s fucking crazy trying to pretend to be a couple or whatever shit is going down in front of a room full of strangers staring at you like you’re a trained monkey at the zoo.”
“Yeah,” I said with a nod and gave him my first real smile of the day. “Yeah, it really is.”
“You get used to it, though. My first time was just a couple of months ago. You’d think I’d be fucking rocking that shit, huh?” he said with a cocky little grin that said he had moves for days, knew how to play a woman, and knew he was hotter than sin. “But nah, I was a nervous wreck like you are. Just breathe, babe,” he said. “I’m not going to bite…Well, not unless you want me to,” he added with a teasing wink.
I chuckled and relaxed somewhat. He ended up making encouraging comments like, “you’re doing great,” while throwing in more cheeky comments every few minutes.
He’d made the experience that much better.
“Give me your number,” he’d told me after we’d finished. I stared at him, a bit in shock that this guy who had just calmed me down was now hitting on me. He must have read me because he smiled. “Don’t worry, Eliza, I won’t try to sleep with you.” I wasn’t sure whether to be offended or not. Clearly, my face was an open book because this time, he laughed. “Jeez, first you freak because you think I want to fuck you, then you get pissed when I don’t.” His words were true, but the way he said it, I knew he was just messing with me. “You’re as hot as they come, babe, so don’t ever think I don’t want to fuck you. But you’re clearly too good for a quick fuck, and that’s all I’m about right now.”
“So I’m confused,” I answered truthfully. “Why do you want my number?”
“You’re also getting mine, so take out your phone.”
“Huh?”
“Eliza, come on. You need some friends in this biz. And it just so happens that I’m great at that.”
We’d stayed friends ever since. As much as two workaholic models could be. We didn’t talk often since both of us were busy bees, and we saw each other less, but we were there for each other when needed. Like him being my plus-one to the charity gala I’d helped plan, the one I had put so much time and effort into.
