Finding Jessica Lambert, page 28
She swallowed, wanting to say all that, but remained tongue tied.
Anna looked away.
“Nervous?” Jess ventured, desperate to keep their conversation going.
“Terrified,” Anna admitted with a laugh, and she turned towards Jess in camaraderie, the warmth of the movement as Anna stood closer and the familiarity lifting Jess.
“Everyone on set please!” Shawna shouted from the entrance to the palace, and they both twitched to attention. The call jarred, Jess wanting so much more with Anna, and they wandered across to the set.
Anna stopped and held Jess's arm before they reached the steps.
“I just wanted to say thank you,” Anna said, her blue eyes intent on Jess’s, many feelings running through their depths. “Thank you for letting me join the cast.”
“Oh. Well. Of course, it’s Matt’s decision.”
“I know, but if you’d put your foot down and said you couldn’t act with me, he would have respected that.”
Jess couldn’t think clearly. The gentle touch of Anna’s fingers on her arm had been so unexpected, with its intimacy, vulnerability and trust. Its familiarity too and Jess could imagine those warm fingers holding her and exploring her. It did all kinds of confusing things to Jess inside and she had to wait for the swell to subside.
“That wouldn’t have been fair to you though,” she said at last. “I’m…I’m glad you’ve got this opportunity to get back into acting. I know how much it means to you.”
That elicited a frown and an intensity to Anna’s gaze that tugged at Jess's heart.
“This,” Anna emphasised. “This means a lot.” She squeezed Jess's arm and let her hand drop. Anna headed up the wooden steps and Jess followed, irresistibly drawn after her.
Jess stood on her mark. She’d seen the storyboard for this scene. She was impressed at the set design and how Babs has translated Anna’s character mock-up so closely into reality.
The assistant director was helping Anna into position on her throne and the two were conferring about the scene. Shawna set Jess into her stance and pointed to where she wanted Jess to look. Two cameras would be rolling and there would be multiple takes.
Then the main lights turned low and gradually several spotlights blended so that the set became eerily alive. The peak of the throne was highlighted and Jess was prominent in another beam.
“Final touches,” the assistant director called, and Jess readied herself, her limbs eager with excitement, regretting the scene wasn’t more physical, and that all she had to do was watch the emergence of the queen.
“Action!”
Jess's attention shot to the organic throne into which Anna seemed to have merged. She could hardly make out Anna’s winding limbs from the tendrils of the set at first. Then Anna grew before everyone’s eyes. A slender arm unnaturally bent. Then the curve of her neck, the line perfect with her extending hair. An angular hip jutted out and her body extended. She twisted to the side in a disconcerting twitch, and with every expansion of her movements her presence grew. The transformation was spectacular and everyone gawped.
Jess was spellbound by Anna’s agile twisting from the roots of the castle. She stared as Anna reached the pinnacle of her performance and lifted her head so that it dazzled in the spotlight. Her face was filled with ferocious threat, her eyes piercing, and she threw out her arms and fingers as rigid as claws.
Jess stood, petrified and overawed by the transformation of Anna twisting and writhing into her formidable character, every ounce of strength and determination of Jess's character gone.
“Cut!”
“Wha…?” She’d forgotten to act.
“Brilliant reaction, Jess.”
“Yeah…” Fuck.
She’d been caught out, completely. Anna was electric and Jess embarrassingly enraptured by her. She could see what Matt meant by her being captivating. She drew every single person’s attention.
“Let’s try again from above on camera three,” Shawna shouted.
And every single time, Jess was stunned. Anna transformed into a different persona and Jess shuddered with a chill of fear and a frisson of something else.
Matt was buzzing around. “Come here,” he shouted, beckoning her over. Anna was already by his side, nerves and elation playing out on her face.
“Let’s see a quick mock-up on the computer,” Matt said.
They were standing behind one of the post-production crew and a large screen and Jess peeped over their shoulders.
“We’ve started to load up the background effects.” Matt said to Anna. “The details on the suit and where it’ll meld into the throne is trickier, but this should give you a good idea of how it will look.”
The screen showed footage from camera one of Anna extending from her throne. It gave Jess chills all over again.
“Oh good. I wanted to check the movement,” Anna said, peering at the screen. “That looks like it works to me.”
“It’s bloody incredible,” Matt replied. “Gave me goose bumps.”
Then camera two footage, focussed on Jess, started to play. She saw her features switch to attention as action was called. Then all the blood drained from her body as she watched herself bewitched on screen. Awe that was both fearful and carnal overtook her expression. Adulation was written all over her face. Was there any chance that Anna wouldn’t notice it? Jess's spellbound expression continued undiminished on film. She stood there, undone by Anna’s performance that did indeed drip with charisma and sexual power. Jess bet everyone could see it.
Matt turned to her and wiggled his eyebrows. She could have killed him.
“Can I see it again?” Anna said, drawing Matt’s attention.
More of the crew had gathered in admiration around the screen. Jess could see Anna’s confidence growing as she watched herself act again. How fluently she talked to everyone, surrounded by quite a group now. She was at the centre, completely at ease, indulging in small physical touches of familiarity to draw people in. Jess envied that. Jess never had that kind of comfort with new acquaintances or in a large group. It could take months, years even, to accomplish that, unless she had a strong common bond with an individual. Jess imagined this is what Anna had been like of old.
If pushed, Jess would confess she’d seen more than one of Anna’s films by now, and old interviews and a video of plays. She was a little embarrassed she hadn’t realised what theatre royalty Anna had been. Anna had the same presence on screen that she had in real life too: the calm poise, the captivating and easy physical presence.
Jess felt a prod in her back and turned round to see Shawna grinning at her. “Want to get a coffee, bab?”
Shawna had a twinkle in her eye which meant she wanted to gossip. And judging by the tug on her arm Shawna wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Jess opened her mouth wanting to say something to Anna, she had no idea what, but Anna was engrossed in conversation with Matt and Jess reluctantly let Shawna pull her away, acutely aware of the draw of Anna’s presence tugging at her as she walked away.
“Want to go celebrate getting the first shot of the series under our belt?” Shawna said.
“Hmm?” Jess said.
Shawna rumbled another laugh out loud and rolled her eyes. “Let’s go have a drink.” She put her arm round Jess and pulled her close. “Then you can tell me about this big crush you have on your co-star.”
Shit.
Chapter 44.
When Anna returned to her flat she was in no way calmer than when she’d left, if anything she was on a nervous high. She paced her small abode, not knowing what to do with herself. In days gone by, she’d have gone down to the pub to drink generously and to success. But her old group of friends had moved on and she was not quite herself enough to invite her new acquaintances from the cast to celebrate.
She stopped and peered out of the window across a glowing London night view and put her hands on her hips. It had been a phenomenal day. She was grinning like a woman possessed. She’d surprised herself and even Matt, despite his expectations being high.
She brought up her hands. They were trembling from pure excitement of the day and the nervous prospect that Anna could do this. For the first time in years, she believed there was a way back to herself.
Anna didn’t want to sleep in case it jinxed her progress. She didn’t want to wake up that anxious woman again, the one who didn’t dare step outside or who couldn’t throw herself into her creative work. Sleep was beyond her anyway. She’d be tossing and turning all night, reliving the day with her stomach in knots, not quite daring to believe how well it had gone.
Her eyes alighted on a pile of DVDs on the kitchen island. Matt had sent her away with the first Atlassia films. She’d avoided drama on TV or at the cinema stubbornly these last few years, but curiosity gnawed at her. What was she a part of now? What was the reason for the staggering success of this series?
She pulled forward her neglected DVD player from under the TV shelf, slotted in the first film and sank into the sofa, crossing her legs and clutching her hands in her lap.
It was a very much younger Jess who appeared on the screen. She must have been eighteen by the time it had finished filming. You could tell around the eyes, more fleshy with puppy fat and those phenomenal cheek bones not so well defined yet.
But Jess's performance was not in the least bit immature. Immediately there was an intensity about her, even in that first Atlassia film. Anna couldn’t stop watching. She would glance at the other characters in the scene, but then she sought Jess again.
Jess had that quiet quality some actors have, when they look full to the brim with the person they are playing and every small flicker, every slight smile, every tiny gesture is a teasing clue to the person within, as if they aren’t acting at all, simply existing as the character. The credits rolled and Anna sat up, shocked that she’d been so engrossed in the film that she hadn’t noticed the hours go by.
She skipped forward to the latest film and an older version of Jessica Lambert who she recognised. Anna watched until gone midnight, equally as absorbed and fascinated by the woman who’d slept in her bed.
The floodgates had opened. Anna was insatiable. She searched for a clip of Jess's Bond appearance and found herself staring at an altogether different character. Jessica was undeniably a woman in this, her eyes more expressive and distinct, her costume low cut over her cleavage, tight around her generous breasts, long shapely legs bare, and Anna blushed at how much she admired Jess's athletic body on show in the film. Although a different character, she had the same sense of being a real living person rather than an actor. The camera, and clearly the director of photography, loved the way she moved, and Jess's body was celebrated as a thing of athletic beauty. Then Anna blushed again at how much she was reacting to Jess on screen.
Anna was humbled. Jess very much deserved her star status and Anna appreciated the generosity of her letting Anna join the cast.
Their meeting had gone surprisingly well. Jess seemed a bag of nerves, like Anna in fact. And the warmth between them, Anna thought she’d felt that once more. Not to mention the chemistry in the scene – it couldn’t have been only her who noticed it. But when Anna had turned round from checking the rough cut, high on the thrill of performing again and the instant feedback, Jess had been walking away. Anna had watched Jess's retreating figure and that of the director, whose arm was around Jess and pulling her closer. Of course they could be friends. Equally, what looked like a kiss on the cheek could have been a whisper in the ear. But it was still like a punch in the stomach for Anna.
She tried to focus only on her work the next time she went into the studio and Jess's absence for a few days at least made that easier. Anna attended rehearsals with several of the cast while sets for the series were completed and they shot the odd test scene. Every day, she’d been ready and waiting for the studio car, eager to get to work.
Anna was invigorated. She felt alive. With adrenaline pumping through her veins, she was determined to push through this introduction back into acting before her confidence and fears had a chance to derail it.
She waited another two weeks before she dared break it to Penny, having to cancel seeing her often for “work” and old coaching obligations, and not wanting to admit the nature of the new commitments until she was more sure. But it was time.
“I’ve got a gig,” Anna said.
“Sorry, what did you say,” Penny said without looking up. They were sat in Zehra’s café, Anna, Penny and Bibs, Pen wiping scrambled egg from her chest. She’d claim it was from trying to feed Bibs but a great deal was owed to Pen’s distraction, issues with Lana on her mind. It was one of the reasons why Anna hadn’t told her immediately about Atlassia.
“I’ve got an acting job.” Anna tried to say it evenly and sipped at her coffee to stop herself from grinning like a maniac, that or breaking down into tears that she’d bitten off more than she could chew, and generally being in turmoil about seeing Jess again. She sipped again at her coffee, a picture of poise and a mess of feeling.
“Whoa, what?” Penny’s eyes went large.
“I’ve got a role on the new Atlassia series.”
Penny’s eyes remained wide and her mouth dropped open to join it.
“You’re shitting me,” Pen said.
“No,” Anna said. She held her breath, waiting for the news to sink in.
“An actual role?” Pen said, eyes still like saucers.
“Yes.” Anna stared at her friend who remained alarmingly catatonic. “Pen?”
“You’re acting?”
“I know,” Anna laughed. “It’s taken me by surprise too.”
“Seriously?” Pen said, her expression had collapsed into a frown. Anna had always loved that about her friend, her wonderful expressive face. Anna nodded, unable to hold back her smile or a tear that couldn’t work out whether it was happy or fraught.
“But….” Pen thought for a moment, then leant forward and squeezed Anna’s knee. “Does that mean you’ve seen Jess again?”
Anna laughed out loud. Straight for the gossip. That was Pen.
“Yes, I have. We’ve done a scene together. Just the one.”
“Well how was she?” Penny gave her full attention and placed two hands on Anna’s knees. “Was she glad to see you? Did she look completely gorgeous? Is she still single? Have you been out? Did-”
“Pen, slow down,” Anna said. Penny was getting way ahead and the fact that Pen thought this possible when Anna was so much less sure made her heart sink.
“She was perfectly polite,” Anna said. “More than that, she was pleasant to me.”
“And?” Penny shot back.
“She was very professional. I hadn’t seen her in her suit before and she seemed the hero even in real life.”
“And?”
“The scene went very well as far as I could make out. They showed the rushes with some effects.”
“And?”
Then Jess had walked away arm in arm with her director friend and Anna’s heart sank just as much as it had the first time she’d recalled it.
“That’s it really,” she said. “I haven’t seen her a great deal yet.”
“Oh,” Penny said, sitting back.
And Anna shared that sentiment. She had the strong sense of having missed her chance with Jess, if it had been a real chance at all, and she felt the keen disappointment all over again.
“But fuck! You’ve taken an acting job!” Penny enthused.
“I know.”
“On Atlassia!”
“I know!”
“Well how’s it going?” Penny said, fizzing with excitement again.
“It’s….OK. I think,” Anna added, grinning again now. Oh dear. She was all over the place.
“Get me into the wrap party. I want serious on-set privileges.”
Anna laughed. “Well, the feature length opener won’t stream yet, but there’s a ticketed pre-screening and Q&A with the cast. It’s for critics, journalists, top fans and anyone else who can get a ticket. I have a VIP pass, plus one for a guest.”
She could hear Pen’s deep intake of breath. “No!” Pen said.
“Yup.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. Do you want to come?” Anna beamed.
“Does the pope shit in the woods?”
Anna glanced at Bibs who was picking bits of scrambled egg off her mother and eating it. She seemed unperturbed. “No, Pen,” Anna said quietly. “The pope does not shit in the woods.”
“Bet he fucking does,” Pen said. “Course I bloody want to see it.”
Chapter 45.
It was mayhem. Anna had expected a preview screening at a cinema, perhaps within the studio, but it turned out there was enough demand to fill a small stadium. The car driving Anna was mobbed at the gates. She was twitchy and anxious at the prospect of her own part in the evening and at the zeal of Atlassia fans.
“This is bonkers,” Penny exclaimed, as hands thudded against the car and faces appeared pressed against the rear window. Anna blinked as phones and cameras blotched her vision.
“All these girls and boys peering in,” Penny gasped.
“They’ll be wanting to catch a glimpse of Chris and Jess,” Anna realised.
“There’s all sorts in the crowd,” Penny said.
You could hear the frenzy. Anna had attracted fans when she was younger, but nothing like this. People clamoured for Jess. There was a woman screaming her name and now Anna had sampled Jess's films she’d had a chance to see what all the fuss was about. She blushed, recalling her physical reaction to Jess on screen. She could understand the allure and what sparked the devotion of these fans now hammering on the car. Jess was desired, a pinup.
What on earth had the young star ever seen in Anna? It’s not like Anna had been an easy fling. There were possibly hundreds of people outside this car who would have jumped at the opportunity. No wonder Jess hadn’t given her a second chance. What were the attentions of a middle-aged actress compared with this adulation?
