Never Look Back, page 24
“He wants me dead.” It almost sounded as if he were trying to make a joke, as if he hadn’t stolen something that many fools had fallen for.
“The real miracle is you’re not.”
I wasn’t laughing at all, my voice taking on a grim tone.
There was sorrow there. A confession. I didn’t mean for Logan to see it, but I knew he did. The way his expression shifted and changed and took on new understanding.
He brushed his fingers through my hair.
Softly.
Gently.
An apology.
It was also riddled with an aching question. “When you first came here, you told me I’d left you without a choice.”
His eyes roved over me as if he could sift out the answer.
My mind spun back to that day.
Weeping. Weeping. So much pain. My hand grasping at my father’s. “Anything. Anything, Papa. Just promise me you’ll spare him. Promise me, and I’ll do what you demand.”
“Maybe that statement was wrong, Logan…because I had a choice, but there was no other choice I could make.” The admission clotted in my throat, emotion so thick I could hardly speak.
Logan tightened his hold, confusion and dread rushing from the words. “You told me once that we have to take the chance when it’s presented to us and refuse the heartache when it’s demanded of us.”
I traced my fingertips over the thunder of his heart. Over the proof of life that beat at a constant, steady drum. The soft words tried to stick to my tongue when I let them go. “I did, Logan. I refused the heartache.”
Because living in a world where he didn’t exist had never been an option I was willing to entertain.
“Aster…”
“Please, Logan. Leave it at that. I can’t do this. Not yet.”
Logan pressed his forehead back to mine, his breaths drawn in pain. “You’re never going back there, Aster.”
“I know you want me to stay—”
“Do you want to stay? With me?” He cut me off.
“Logan.” It was torture.
“Do you?” he demanded.
Tears slipped from the edges of my eyes and into my hair. “I’ve never wanted to be anywhere but by your side.”
“Little Star.” Logan’s thumb ran the angle of my cheek.
“But I would never put you in the position—”
That time when he cut me off, he cut me off with a kiss. An earth-shattering kiss that rattled me to the core.
One that sank down deep into my bones.
Flooded cells and infiltrated marrow.
He kept himself propped on his hands and knees while he dipped down to capture my mouth, as his tongue stroked and his lips possessed.
He left a foot of space between us everywhere else.
My spirit wept in the middle of it.
Called out to his.
Begged for a way.
My hips did the same, jutting from the bed in a bid to meet with him.
He splayed his hand over my heart. Tension bound the air. A fierce intensity that refused to let me go. As if he’d called me there, and now that I’d arrived, neither of us could escape this connection that had haunted us since the day we’d met.
“Say it, Aster. Say it.”
It didn’t take a lot for the truth to scrape between my lips. “I’m yours.”
Always.
Forever.
For just a little bit of time.
And still, it wasn’t enough.
For a moment more, he kissed me, soft and slow, tender in this domination.
Then he heaved out a sigh of restraint before he slumped down onto the mattress on his side.
The man sent me a gentle smile when he pulled me against him, and he wrapped me in his arms so we were nose-to-nose, breath-to-breath.
I settled down to rest my head against the banging that rioted in his chest. My fingertips fluttered over the rest, exploring the divots and lines and dense, corded muscle. “Happy birthday, Logan.”
He pressed his mouth to my temple. “Is it wrong if it feels almost as good?”
“No.”
Because any day he was holding me? It was.
TWENTY-FOUR
LOGAN
LOS ANGELES, NINETEEN YEARS OLD
Logan checked to make sure he was alone in the office before he worked to open the carefully folded star that he’d found tucked between two books on his desk.
Seven, was all it said.
To him, it shouted a million things.
I miss you.
I need you.
You’re worth every risk.
It’s your birthday and I cannot wait to spend it with you.
Warm excitement dripped like honey into his bloodstream.
He couldn’t wait to see her. Hold her.
Aster Rose had become the minutes that counted in his day.
The reason he would fight, steal, cheat—anything to find a way to set her free.
She was his soul’s destination.
The three hours passed like oppression. Every second the building blocks of a fortress that endeavored to keep them apart.
He ran his thumb over the star he’d returned to his pocket.
Let it soothe.
When it was finally time, he all but sprinted out of the office, so eager to get to her that he could hardly think straight. He stepped out into the last vestiges of daylight and into the labyrinth at the back of the property. Glittering rays of light slanted in through the drooping branches of the trees that concealed the grounds in obscurity.
The ground below him was soft and damp, and with each step that he took his pulse beat harder.
Anticipation.
A newfound greed.
Aster Rose.
It was all he wanted.
He slinked under the cover of the trees in the direction of their meeting place, keeping low, angling down, his breaths coming shorter and shorter the closer he got.
It was then that he heard the voices.
One hard and condescending.
The other soft. The poetry of his heart.
“Is there a reason you’re acting this way? You already belong to me, no?”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.”
Hatred squeezed Logan’s chest in a fist.
Keeping himself concealed, he peered over a hedge of shrubs.
Jarek Urso had Aster backed into a corner where she’d been following along the trail she’d taken from the house.
A riot of fury burst in every cell of his body.
A thirst to destroy.
To defend.
To fight for the one who he’d offer everything.
Jarek laughed a disgusting sound that rippled through the fading light. Arrogant and vile. The asshole was dressed in slacks and a button-down, his hair black, shaved on the sides and curly on top. He was only a couple of years older than the two of them, though his overinflated ego made the prick think he was the ruler of this world.
The problem was, if this wedding happened, one day he would be.
“I think we both know you have absolutely nothing to say about it.”
Jarek grabbed Aster’s hand.
Jerking it free, she tried to back farther away. “Don’t touch me.”
Revulsion and terror twisted through her features.
Logan knew she was doing her best to remain brave. To stand her ground when some asshole thought he could have his way.
“You’d do well to learn from the start not to fight me.”
“I’ll die before I ever let you touch me.”
Low laughter rolled from Jarek. “We’ll see about that.”
Without warning, Jarek flew forward, fisted a hand in her hair, and yanked her head to the side.
Aster shrieked in surprise.
In pain.
In fear.
Logan was on him before the bastard knew what hit him. He grabbed him by the shirt, spun him around, and slammed a fist into his pompous face.
In the back of his mind, Logan realized he’d likely sealed his fate.
Death’s signature scrawled on the dotted line.
He didn’t fucking care if it meant this girl might have the life she deserved.
Jarek’s head snapped back, and blood spurted from his nose.
Howling, he bent in two.
A second later, he rebounded and came rushing at Logan. The prick hit him at full force, wrapping his arms around his waist and knocking both of them to the ground.
Jarek had the upper hand, straddling him as he let his fists fly.
One.
Two.
Three hits landed on Logan’s face.
His jaw, his eye, his cheek.
Pain ruptured over his skin.
But Logan sensed it like fury.
Like a madness that would take him over.
He struggled to get his arms free where they were pinned under Jarek’s legs, while Jarek landed another hit to his temple. “Do you have any idea who you just fucked with, you stupid cunt? You’re dead.”
Logan got his right arm free and grabbed Jarek by the wrist before he could land his next blow.
Logan twisted.
Hard.
“I’m dead? I don’t think so, fucker.”
Jarek wailed, bending to Logan’s crushing fist. He slid off the side onto the ground, on his knees with his arm bent behind him.
Logan didn’t let go as he climbed to his feet.
Logan kept Jarek’s wrist at the harsh angle. Not quite hard enough to break it, but enough to feel like that was exactly what was happening.
Jarek tried to get loose, asshole sniveling when Logan tightened his hold, the words curling off his tongue in a rash of hot hatred. “I’m pretty sure that’s going to be you when Aster’s father finds out you tried to touch her before you’re married. That’s forbidden, isn’t it? He’ll have your balls strung up before he puts a bullet in your head, won’t he?”
It was the one fucking saving grace in the whole mess. That tiny spec of humanity Aster’s father possessed. It made Logan irate that once Aster was married, it gave this piece of shit the go ahead to do whatever the fuck he wanted with her.
Like some alliance gave this monster the right to touch on this beauty.
“She’s mine. Mine to do with what I please, and I’ll fuck her when I want.”
Logan couldn’t help it. Jarek’s wrist snapped.
He screamed in agony.
A guard shouted in the distance. “Jarek?”
Jarek raged as he stumbled to his feet, protecting his arm against his chest. “You’re dead.”
Aster laughed a maniacal sound. “And my father will kill you. Logan has become invaluable to him. To the family. See what happens if you touch him.”
She was reaching. Logan might have been an asset, but he didn’t hold the position Jarek did.
Still, hatred flared in Jarek’s eyes.
The guard suddenly broke through the foliage. It was a man named Toban who often accompanied Jarek when he visited the compound.
Toban’s gun was drawn and pointed Logan’s direction.
Aster stepped between them. “Put your gun down.”
“What happened?” the man demanded instead.
“I fucking tripped.” Jarek spat it in Logan’s direction rather than at the guard.
He’d tripped, all right. Logan wished for a way to make sure he didn’t get back up.
Toban’s attention jumped between them. There was no missing the hostility that fizzed in the space.
Finally, he slowly lowered his gun while his eyes narrowed in concern. “Are you okay, Sir?”
“Just meet me at the car, Toban.” Jarek never looked at the man since he was glaring at Logan.
Chaos spun through Logan’s being. The urge to end it right there.
Do or die.
Except he could feel terror radiating from Aster. Her sweet spirit crying out in horrified desperation, at the truth they would never be together if Logan touched him again, the truth that it might already be too late.
Toban hesitated. “Are you sure, Sir?”
“Yes.”
Jarek stared Logan down while Toban retreated through the garden toward the front. A sneer curled his face while Logan stood there wanting to go back to tearing the asshole to shreds.
Aster spun and got in Jarek’s face. “I want you to leave.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you want.”
She pulled out her phone, all kinds of fierce bravery. “Fine. Then we’ll take this up with my papa.”
Jarek tried to bottle the fear that flashed through his expression, and his teeth gritted when he spat, “I’m leaving.”
He started to walk, only he grabbed her with his other hand, dragging her close by the upper arm. “But don’t think I’m finished with you.”
It curled through the air.
Logan almost went for him again.
Jarek lifted an arrogant chin like there wasn’t blood smeared down his face, stepped around Aster, and leaned in toward Logan as he passed, “Or you.”
Then he disappeared into the shrubs.
Logan sagged.
Aster rushed for him, taking him by the hand and hauling him into their secluded spot. “Oh my god, are you hurt? That asshole.”
“I’m fine.” It was pure frustration.
Aster touched the bruises that were undoubtedly forming on his face. Tenderness wept from her fingertips.
Logan’s raging heart slowed the barest fraction.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Logan met her eyes. “I would die for you, Aster Rose.”
She took his hand, and her voice shifted to a plea. “I know. And that’s why I’m asking you to live for me, Logan. There is no point in any of this if you’re dead. We have to be careful. We have to be smart about it.”
“I want to end him.” Logan gave voice to the violent impulse that still boiled in his blood.
“No, Logan, we have to do this together, or neither of us will ever be free.”
Logan exhaled a long, heavy breath, and he let his forehead drop to hers. “Is that what we’re doing, Aster? Setting ourselves free?”
She ran her fingertips over a swollen spot on his jaw. “Yes, together.”
“Whatever it takes.” He murmured that as he held her gaze.
The air shifted as the last of the daylight drained away. Darkness wisped over the heavens to take its place.
“Yes,” Aster whispered. Her lips were an inch from his, their noses touching, their spirits joined.
Logan’s hands slipped around both sides of her neck, and he exhaled his greatest confession near her mouth. “I love you, Aster Rose. I love you so much.”
He’d never said it before.
She gasped before her fingers curled in his shirt. “I thought I’d never get to experience it, Logan. The kind of love that makes you feel as if you’re soaring. As if you’re flying. But I do…I feel that love for you.”
Logan gave on a groan, and he jerked her toward him and kissed her like he’d never kissed her before.
Desperately.
Madly.
Wholly.
His hand spread over the back of her head while his other took her by the hip and dragged her close. So close he could feel her soft curves pressed against the straining muscles of his body.
The kiss was hungry and impatient.
As impatient as her hands that worked under his shirt and the words that whispered from her lips. “Please, Logan. Please.”
“What do you need, Little Star?”
“You. I need you. All of you. I need you with me. I need you standing beside me. I need you inside of me.”
Logan moaned as they toppled to the soft ground. Their kiss grew more frantic as Logan wound himself between her legs.
Aster’s hips rose to meet with him, rubbing, begging, her breaths shallow and her heart pounding so hard that he could feel it like a plea against his chest.
His hands rushed to feel her everywhere, her face, her breasts, riding up the outside of her bare leg and pushing up the skirt of her dress. In a frenzy, her hands fumbled with the button of his pants as he pulled her underwear aside.
She freed him, and they both were gasping for air when she had him poised at her center, the head of his cock pressed to the hot, needy flesh between her thighs.
He looked down at the girl who stared up at him. His lungs were close to failing.
“Are you sure?” he managed on a ragged breath.
She wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and lifted her face so their noses touched. “Take me.”
He pushed into her, swift and deep.
She cried out as her body bowed from the damp earth. He covered it with a kiss, and Aster dug her blunted nails into his back, held onto him tight as she whimpered, “Take it all.”
Maybe he should have been gentle, but he moved in frantic, urgent strokes, driving into her while she fought to meet him thrust for thrust.
Her fingers burrowed so deep he was sure she drew blood, the same as he knew he’d drawn hers.
He shifted so he could touch her, his fingers rubbing at her clit.
Their gasps filled the air as their devotion filled their hearts as he recklessly fucked her beneath the stars that never quite shined, though his little star would never dim.
She burned so bright he knew he’d been singed. Seared. Scarred by her light.
They came apart together, like the bonds that held them shattered. They soared and flew. Stumbled through a faraway paradise that only belonged to them.
They clung to each other as they floated through the aftershocks. They both searched for the missing air, their chests heaving with fractured juts as they clung to the other.
Then Logan choked out a shocked, affected breath.
Because he loved her. Loved her in a way that he hadn’t believed possible.
She blinked up at him, her expression soft and awed. “Happy birthday, Logan.”
He let go of another disbelieving shot of laughter as he pecked a tender kiss to her lips. “Best birthday ever.”
Her demeanor shifted to worry. “How can you say that after what happened?”
