Long Time No Sea, page 24
One thing you can say about La Fine del Mondo is that, given how large, varied and stuffed full of people it is, you’re not forced to bump into anyone you know. It reminds me of school, in that sense, and the way Clarky would only hang out with us in certain spots, away from the gaze of the kids he was trying to get in with.
After sleeping in, on one of the sofas in the twenty-four-hour café (you’ve got to love that they’ll let you do that here) – which actually was quite a nice, quiet, chilled-out place to snooze – I woke up to the sound of the coffee machine hissing – thankfully without anyone stealing my bag or drawing a moustache on my face – feeling like someone was hitting me repeatedly, right between my eyes, with a hammer. Thankfully, my sunglasses were in my bag and putting them on helped to take the edge off the light, just a little.
I strolled over to the counter, casual as you like, trying to style my hangover out as best I could.
The barista gave me a sympathetic look.
‘Long night?’ she inquired.
I just nodded before ordering an extra-strong coffee and a very large muffin. That helped.
Next, I wandered out to the pool area, hoping some fresh air might do me some good, so I sat on a sunlounger in the shade for a while, the events of last night bouncing around in my brain, only adding to my headache.
I still can’t get over Maxi lying to me like that. I know she had her reasons but why drag me and Cam into her mess? She’s really in a mess. If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that I need not have worried, when I arrived, about being the only person who didn’t have their life together. I think we’re all in a bad spot. Poor Clarky is having health problems, Maxi is getting divorced, DJ seems to have a lot of unresolved emotional baggage, Mike has been hiding a child from us! Even Cam, as wonderful as he is, seems like he’s been looking for a new direction in life. Suddenly, me not having a job seems like no big deal.
After taking a breather, trying to clear my head, I made my way to the pool showers to freshen up – because I really, really couldn’t face going back to our hotel room, seeing Maxi, the chance of it being just the two of us and us having to talk, when I had no idea what I was going to say.
I hoped the pool showers wouldn’t be too busy and luckily they weren’t. There was only one girl in there, who very kindly lent me some of her products, noticing that I didn’t have any of my own. That’s one of the things I love about girls, they’re always willing to help out another girl in need. It’s only once you become friends with them that they betray you, apparently.
The water felt so nice and cool against my skin, a welcome relief from the scorching sun. The sound of other guests outside, all having a great time in the pool, echoed into the shower; hearing everyone so happy was comforting. It made me believe that if my lot and I can just figure things out, we can get back on track.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I stepped out of the shower. There wasn’t much I could do about my soaking wet hair, other than roughly towel-dry it before letting the sun take care of the rest. I scrunched it lightly with my hands, hoping beachy waves would form as it dried. It’s worked out okay, although it’s going to take a lot of conditioner to get the knots out – but that’s a problem for later, when I’m back in civilisation.
Finally, before leaving the confines of the changing rooms, I put on some of the make-up I bought at the hotel shop when we arrived here. I felt a bit like a warrior putting on warpaint. Well, today might well shape up to be a battle of sorts. I’m not sure what is going to happen, but I want to be prepared for anything – even all-out war.
After that, feeling a little more human again, I found another sunlounger and took a seat, stretching my legs out into the sun, and that’s where I am now. I’m currently draining the last of my cocktail – the final cocktail I’ll drink here. Let’s call it Dutch courage, before I make my way back through the forest, to the supposedly deserted beach, where the boat should be waiting to take me back to reality.
‘Hello,’ I hear a familiar voice greet me.
I open my eyes to see Cam standing in front of me, and as cliché as it sounds, my heart skips a beat. More than the fact that he’s talking to me at all, a huge wave of relief washes over me as I realise that he doesn’t look like he’s angry at me.
‘I come in peace,’ he says, smiling widely, waving a finger like a white flag. ‘Can we talk?’
‘Yes,’ I say without a moment of hesitation. ‘I owe you the apology of all apologies.’
‘I spent the night with Clarky,’ he tells me, pausing to laugh, as he hears his own choice of words out loud. ‘He found me at the bar, told me everyone was falling out, that he’d had enough. You know me, I hate the drama, especially the kind that seems to go hand in hand with that lot. So, when he told me his new friends would let us sleep on the floor in their room, I thought best to give you all some space, while I figured out what was going on.’
‘Is Clarky okay?’ I ask.
‘Yes,’ he replies. ‘Why?’
Cam sounds concerned suddenly. Clarky must not have told him.
‘The last thing he said, before he stormed off, was that he thought he was dying,’ I fill Cam in.
‘Shit,’ he replies. ‘No, he never mentioned it. Do you think he was exaggerating, or just trying to stop everyone arguing? He did tell me about everything else, about Maxi, DJ, Mike… I’m sorry about that, I’m sure it goes without saying, but you didn’t deserve that.’
‘Thanks,’ I reply. ‘But, to be honest, I don’t care. I care about you, and what I said…’
‘What you said was completely understandable,’ he replies. ‘I’m guessing Maxi told you I was married, to hide her own divorce?’
I nod. I feel so stupid now, for just believing her, or for not bringing it up with Cam sooner.
‘I guessed as much, eventually,’ he replies. ‘She’s your childhood best friend, why wouldn’t you believe her? I probably would have believed Mike, if he had told me the same about you. Well, not now, obviously, now that I know he’s had a child this whole time – a child that is now a teenager.’
‘I can’t believe it,’ I say. ‘Keeping it a secret, all this time.’
‘If you’re after a silver lining, because why not, right?’ Cam starts with a cheeky smile that instantly makes me feel more relaxed about everything. ‘If Mike had told you the truth at the time, it definitely would have destroyed your friendship. It might have broken the group right down the middle, we might not be here now… It’s a stretch, but always better to focus on a positive.’
I can’t help but smile.
‘That’s a great way to look at it,’ I reply. ‘Thanks.’
‘Jas, last night was amazing, until it wasn’t, obviously, but the bit when it was just me and you, it felt like everything finally clicked into place,’ he says, again, not realising his own words until he hears them out loud, and sees me giggling back at him. ‘Oi, stop it, I’m being serious. I really like you – I’ve always liked you. And last night, I’m hoping, was just old habits dying hard, the group imploding, but this time I’m hopeful that the dawn after the storm will be different. Me and you, living in the same place, working together again. It feels like everything we want is in touching distance, if we want it. If you want me.’
‘I do,’ I admit. ‘I really do. It’s always been you – not even fifteen years apart has changed my mind about that. I know, we probably don’t know each other all that well in the present, but we did in the past, and I’d love to give it a go, see what happens.’
‘Me too,’ he replies.
Cam leans forward and takes my face gently in his hand. We kiss. It isn’t like last night’s wild kiss, it’s something more controlled, something more sustainable. Something I hope I get to do again and again and again.
‘Are you ready to hike back through the forest?’ he eventually asks me. ‘We wouldn’t want to miss the boat.’
‘That wouldn’t be like us at all,’ I reply through a grin. ‘But I suppose we’d better. I’d suggest we stay here but I’d rather take my chances with the awkwardness back at the villa, than rebook that swingers’ suite for just the two of us.’
‘Yeah, that would be a lot of pressure, from all the kit in there,’ he jokes.
‘Okay then, let’s go get this boat, and face the music,’ I say with a sigh.
Walking back through the forest is a different vibe. Not just because on the way here we were desperate for civilisation but because I’m walking back with even more hope, holding hands with Cam, excited about my future.
After a lovely stroll, we eventually arrive back at the beach. Cam and I approach the boat, relieved to see that it has arrived to transport us back to civilisation. I let go of Cam’s hand, and he smiles to let me know that he understands.
The captain greets us, to show us on board.
‘Wow,’ he exclaims. ‘Usually people don’t come back looking better than when they arrived.’
‘What can I say? We’re survivalists,’ I tell him.
On board, we find Maxi, DJ and Mike sitting awkwardly spaced apart in uncomfortable silence. It’s as if they’re all trying to avoid each other’s gaze, Maxi looking down at her phone, DJ looking out to sea. Mike looks at me, briefly, as he gives me a slight smile, but then it’s almost as though he takes it back, staring down at his feet.
I sit down on one of the sofas. Cam sits down next to me.
‘Is everyone here?’ the captain asks. ‘Shouldn’t there be two more?’
‘Just one,’ Clarky replies, huffing and puffing as he slumps down into one of the chairs, relaxing. ‘Drea is staying on the island a bit longer.’
I wonder if he’s seen her. You would assume so, if he’s saying that.
I give Clarky a slight wave. He gives me a nod. I want to grab him and squeeze him and ask him if he’s okay, but his body language doesn’t make me feel like he wants me to, so I hang back.
‘Okay then,’ the captain says. ‘Let’s go.’
The boat starts moving but still, no one says a word, or moves a muscle, and I’m scared to even talk to Cam given the atmosphere with everyone else – it seems almost insensitive, to be fine in front of them.
As we get on our way, the boat hits a wave, and we all lurch forward. Maxi slides along her seat, into DJ. He grabs her to steady her, his hand lingering on her arm for a moment, but then he quickly snatches it back.
Oh, this is going to be a long trip, if it’s going to be like this the whole way.
A strange noise coming from inside the boat grabs all of our attention. I cock my head, listening closely to see if it happens again, but I don’t hear it. What I do notice is that we’re slowing down, then stopping. Oh, this can’t be good.
Eventually the captain appears.
‘Just a small technical problem,’ he tells us. ‘It happens, from time to time, but we can fix it, and be back on our way in no time, just talk among yourselves, and enjoy the sunshine for a little bit longer.’
Wow, okay, this really is going to be a long trip.
The captain vanishes as fast as he appeared, leaving us all alone again, back to our stony silence. We can’t go on like this.
‘Clarky, are you okay?’ I ask him.
He shrugs.
‘What you said, before…’
‘Forget I said anything,’ he insists. ‘I’m handling it on my own.’
Wow, something really must be going on.
‘Well, you shouldn’t be,’ Cam insists.
‘Yeah, we’re your friends,’ Maxi eventually joins in.
‘We can support you,’ DJ adds.
Clarky looks to Mike.
‘What?’ he says with a laugh. ‘They’ve said it all. But you know I feel the same, mate.’
‘Ta,’ Clarky replies. ‘Basically, I had a lump removed, and they did a biopsy, to see if it was anything bad.’
‘And?’ Maxi prompts him.
‘And it’s bad,’ he replies. ‘I got a letter, just before our trip.’
‘Whatever is going on, whenever you want to tell us, we’re here for you when you’re ready,’ I tell him. ‘You don’t have to do this on your own.’
Clarky itches the stubble he’s grown while we’ve been here – it actually quite suits him.
‘This is why I’ve been so keen on having one final blowout of a holiday, while I still can,’ he explains. ‘When I got my results letter, saying it was benign, that there was no further treatment, I knew my number was up. I’m sorry I’ve been trying so hard to have fun, but I hope you understand why.’
My heart sinks, I feel so sad for him, but… hang on…
‘Clarky, wait a minute,’ I interrupt. ‘Did you say “benign”?’
‘Yeah,’ he replies. ‘Benign, no further treatment. It must be bad, if there’s nothing they can do for me.’
I know it’s awful, but I can’t help but laugh.
‘Clarky, benign means harmless,’ I point out. ‘And they’re telling you that you don’t need any further treatment, not that there’s nothing they can do for you.’
‘Oh, you daft bastard,’ Mike blurts.
‘Wh-what?’ Clarky replies as a huge grin takes over his face.
He jumps up from his seat and lunges towards me, hugging me tightly, gratefully, as though I’m the one who has cured him.
‘This is the Clarky-est thing to ever happen,’ DJ points out, laughing – everyone is laughing, although it seems more like it’s with relief than at Clarky’s expense. ‘I thought the desert island stunt was the Clarky-est thing, but this has surpassed even that.’
‘I feel like I’ve been given a second chance,’ Clarky says as he takes his seat again.
He pushes every drop of air from his lungs and lies back in his chair, letting the sun beam down on him, then he smiles. He closes his eyes and takes a few contented breaths.
‘It’s been a shit twelve months,’ Clarky tells us. ‘From the divorce, to all this stuff… this holiday came at just the right time. Sorry if I’ve been a bit intense.’
‘It may have got a bit weird, towards the end, and started a bit weird if we’re being honest, but I’ve had such a good time on the island,’ I tell him honestly.
‘Me too,’ Cam adds.
‘Drea is having a better time than any of us,’ Clarky says, sitting up again. ‘I saw her this morning, kissing a guy, then a girl, then a different guy.’
He seems surprisingly fine with this, so they can’t have been that serious.
‘I’m sorry,’ Maxi tells him with a shrug. ‘If it helps, I never liked her. You can do so much better.’
‘Well, if I’m being honest with you,’ Clarky starts, ‘Drea isn’t my girlfriend, we’re just friends. I’m pretty sure she only came with me for the free holiday.’
‘But you were sharing a room at the villa,’ Maxi points out.
‘I slept on the sofa,’ he replies.
‘But we… heard you,’ Mike says tactfully. ‘That night at the villa, after dinner.’
‘Drea was in the shower,’ Clarky confesses. ‘That was just me.’
My eyes widen with horror.
‘No, not like that, you dirty cow,’ he ticks me off.
‘Right, yeah, sorry, so silly of me to get the wrong idea,’ I reply with a roll of my eyes.
‘That was just me, making noises, trying to sound like it was the two of us,’ he admits.
‘That’s sad, mate,’ Mike points out – not even making fun of him, just stating the obvious.
‘Yeah, well, I’ve just been, I don’t know, trying to make the most of life,’ Clarky replies. ‘And then here’s you lot, ruining my holiday, making it all about you.’
I laugh.
‘Sorry,’ I say.
‘You’re the last person who has anything to say sorry for,’ Maxi insists. ‘I owe you an apology, I owe Cam an apology and, DJ, I owe you the biggest apology of all. I should have told you that I was getting divorced but, it’s like I told Jas last night, no one is ever interested in me for me, just what I can do for them, and when you thought I was married, I knew it must be me you wanted – just to be with me, even if you couldn’t have me.’
‘I wanted you before,’ DJ reminds her. ‘Back when we were at school, when neither of us had anything.’
‘And now you’re both rich,’ Clarky points out. ‘Who do you think is richer?’
‘It’s not a competition,’ I tell him.
‘Me,’ Maxi mouths at Clarky. ‘But maybe not, after the divorce. But I am getting some money, and that money is going to Cam, to get his project up and running.’
‘And Jas is on board to help,’ Cam tells her. ‘I really think we can make a success of it.’
I glance over at Mike. He’s uncharacteristically quiet.
‘It’s okay,’ I tell him. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It’s not okay,’ he replies. ‘What I did was unforgivable. Our relationship wasn’t right, but I was too immature to understand, so I just slept with the first person who was interested. I found out she was pregnant when her parents told mine. My dad was furious, said I’d thrown my life away, that I couldn’t go to uni, that I was going to lose you, that I had to start working in one of his showrooms, but that there was no way I was going to inherit the business. I was on a downward spiral, I pushed you away, I messed up some of my exams, missed out on uni. I think being back around you all made me want to go back to that time, to how things were, when I was cool, with my whole life ahead of me.’
He stops for a moment and smiles to himself.
‘I’m sorry about the way I went about things, but I wouldn’t change a thing, because I had Jenny to show for it,’ he says. ‘It wasn’t easy, being a young dad, but she’s amazing. I’d really like you all to meet her.’
‘I’d like that,’ I tell him.
‘Anyway, sorry,’ he says.
‘Perhaps when we get back to the villa we can start again,’ Maxi says, ‘treat it like a new beginning, not just to the holiday, but to everything. To our renewed friendship, in adult life.’
