Long Time No Sea, page 15
‘Yeah, you’re right,’ he replies. ‘Let’s just enjoy ourselves, see what this resort has to offer.’
‘Follow me for coke, follow Loftie for K,’ a guest with a strong Geordie accent announces as he and a small group of people shuffle past us.
‘Well, maybe not quite everything the resort has to offer,’ he quickly adds.
18
THEN – 26 APRIL 2008
I know that this is going to sound horrible but I’m so glad that Mikey can’t make it today. We’ve been boyfriend and girlfriend for a couple of months now but things are just not working out. I know it’s a cliché, to say ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ but it really is a me thing. Mikey’s great but I just don’t have boyfriend/girlfriend kind of feelings for him, and at least now I can say that I gave it a go. That day, when he asked me out, when I realised that Cam had helped him set the whole thing up and essentially given Mikey his blessing, I thought that was the writing on the wall for us but… I don’t know… obviously, my feelings haven’t gone away and I can’t say I don’t still pick up on the occasional vibe from Cam. But maybe I am just reading too much into it – it’s just that we get on so, so well. I’ve never been more sure that someone was the right person for me, and he just makes me feel so good, just by me being in his orbit, so I’m excited to be spending time with him today, and relieved that Mikey won’t be here because things are awkward. Seriously awkward.
‘Has anyone actually ice-skated before?’ Cam asks as we make our way up the stairs to the indoor ice rink.
‘Nope,’ I say, my nervousness showing in my voice.
‘Never,’ DJ adds.
‘Neither have I,’ Maxi says. ‘I just really fancied trying it, and with it being my turn to choose what we do, you guys have to do as I say.’
She’s joking but she’s right. If Clarky can drag us camping, Mikey can take us to watch Leeds United play, and DJ can get us all to sit through Transformers, then we can all pop on a pair of ice skates and give it our best.
The ice-skating place is a large, open space with high ceilings and bright lights shining all around which, coupled with the pop music playing from speakers dotted everywhere, makes it feel a bit like a disco. The ice rink itself takes up most of the space and is already packed with people skating – people who make it look easy. The sound of the blades on the ice, mixed with laughter (and the occasional scream as someone loses their balance) gives the place a really fun atmosphere. There are little stands around the edge of the rink where people can sit and watch – so at least I know I can always default to that – but I’m here and I’m willing to try.
Maxi and DJ are eager, skating out across the ice the second they’ve got their skates on. I’m a little nervous so I’m taking my time. Cam must have noticed, because he’s hung back with me.
‘Maybe we can stick together,’ he suggests. ‘If I’m being honest, I’m a little nervous.’
I smile. I wonder if he really is nervous, or if he’s just trying to make me feel better.
‘That would be great,’ I reply.
We join the others on the ice but I hold on to the side to start with – I don’t care how dorky I look, I’d rather look like an upright dork than one flat on her back on the ice. Cam skates alongside me.
‘You’re actually pretty good,’ I tell him, almost suspiciously.
‘Well, I used to come here often when I was a kid,’ he explains. ‘My cousin was way into it. I didn’t think I’d be any good at it now that I’m a gangly teenager.’
I laugh.
‘Oh, I have actually done it one time, since then, when I was on holiday with my family in New York,’ he recalls. ‘But that was cut short because my mum wasn’t feeling well and my dad was too scared to try – don’t ever tell him I told you that, though, he’d be mortified.’
‘His secret is safe with me,’ I reply. ‘New York is cool. I would love to go.’
‘I would love to go again, as an adult,’ he replies. ‘Holidays with your parents aren’t quite the same. I’d love to travel.’
‘Me too,’ I say excitedly. ‘Where do you want to go?’
‘I’d love to go to Japan,’ he replies. ‘Tokyo seems like such a cool city. I want to visit South America too, maybe go to Peru, hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.’
‘Sounds amazing,’ I reply. ‘Beaches are top of my list – I’m thinking Bali, Thailand – oh, and St Lucia, Barbados…’
‘Wow, someone who wants to see the world just as much as I do,’ Cam replies with a smile.
‘Definitely,’ I reply. ‘Although I’m not sure I’ll ever have the money to do it.’
‘Well, let’s make a deal, if either of us ever gets rich, we’ll take the other person on holiday,’ Cam suggests. ‘What do you say?’
‘Sounds great to me,’ Maxi says as she and DJ skate past us arm in arm.
I laugh – until I realise I’ve let go of the side and I’ve been skating without holding on, albeit very slowly and cautiously, for a minute or two.
Cam (who I suspect had already realised) notices me coming to the realisation that I’m not holding on to the side, and the subsequent panic I’m feeling.
‘Don’t worry,’ Cam says, skating backwards in front of me. ‘I’ve got yo—’
Of course, me being me, given licence to fall, that’s the first thing I do.
I lose my footing and start to fall backward. But before I hit the ice, Cam catches me, holding me in his arms for a moment longer than he needs to. My heart races, and I can’t help but wonder if he feels the same way I do, because the butterflies in my stomach are going mad, and as cringe as it sounds, I’d fall all over again just to feel him hold me like this.
‘Thanks,’ I say, feeling a little breathless.
‘No problem,’ Cam replies with a smile. ‘All in a day’s work.’
‘We can’t take her anywhere, can we?’ Maxi jokes. ‘Cam, go do boysie stuff with DJ, I can’t keep up with him. I’ll babysit this one for a bit.’
‘Okay,’ Cam says, skating off. He really is good at it.
‘I don’t think ice skating is my thing,’ I confess to Maxi, holding on to the side with one hand, as she takes my other arm in hers.
‘Do you know what I think is your thing?’ she replies. ‘Cam.’
‘Shut up,’ I say, unable to hide my grin.
‘It’s always been Cam, hasn’t it?’ she replies. ‘Come on, you can tell your auntie Maxi.’
‘I just… don’t see Mikey as a boyfriend,’ I say, simply. ‘I’ve tried but I can’t see him as more than a friend. I’m sure he must be starting to realise.’
‘Just between us, he is,’ Maxi replies.
‘What?’ I blurt. ‘How do you know?’
‘This is just between the two of us, promise?’ she says, squeezing my arm. ‘Because DJ told me, and he said I couldn’t tell anyone.’
‘I won’t say anything, I promise,’ I reply – so keen to hear what she has to say I’ll agree to anything.
‘Mikey is going around telling people that you’re frigid,’ she tells me. ‘He says you won’t even kiss him properly.’
Wow, that’s horrible. Why is he going around telling people anything about me?
‘I mean… I won’t kiss him properly,’ I reply. ‘Because I don’t fancy him. But I would never go around telling people that.’
‘Boys are horrible,’ Maxi concludes. ‘I always wonder if DJ tells people we haven’t slept together yet, or if he lies and says we have – I don’t know what would be worse. But Mikey is just being a baby, he thinks he’s so fit, he probably can’t imagine why any girl wouldn’t want to kiss him.’
I furrow my brow, more angry than upset.
‘I can’t believe he’s telling people I’m frigid,’ I say. ‘I’m not frigid, am I? Just because I don’t want to kiss him.’
‘Well, let’s look at it this way,’ Maxi starts. ‘You don’t want to kiss him, but do you want to kiss other boys? I would use Cam as an example, but I know you’re not ready to own up to that, so let’s just say any boy, you don’t have to name him, but are there any boys you would kiss right now?’
I can’t help but glance over at Cam, who is currently skating with DJ on his back. Gosh, he’s so cute.
‘Yes,’ I reply.
‘There you go then,’ Maxi concludes. ‘I feel kind of bad, because I convinced you to give things a go with Mikey. I thought it might work out, or that Cam might come to his senses – I think he might be, though. Cam talks to DJ too.’
I shoot her a look.
‘I’m not saying another word,’ Maxi insists. ‘But I think it’s time you started to think about what it is you want, and then you figure out how it is you get it.’
Maxi is right. Well, almost right. I know what it is that I want – who it is that I want, but now I feel like I’m in too deep, like our entire friendship group depends on how I act. The last thing I want is for everyone to fall out. But the first thing I want is Cam. I just need to work out how to get him.
19
NOW
You would never know today was La Fine del Mondo’s first day open – were it not for all the balloons and banners saying as much – because everything is in full swing and running like a well-oiled machine.
With our friendship group understandably not feeling quite close enough to take group showers – I know, we’re old-fashioned like that – we’ve been taking turns to get washed and dressed, ready for a day of… who knows what.
Tired of being cooped up in the room, those of us who are ready have made our way down to the pool area. Clarky is off somewhere being Clarky (honestly, the less you know about what he’s doing, the more plausible deniability you have when it all goes tits up, and he still isn’t mentioning Drea, so I think keeping quiet about seeing her is the right thing to do) and Mike was the only one left to shower and change so he encouraged us all to go ahead without him. To be honest, it is kind of bizarre, hanging out in that room. I don’t know how to describe it other than to say it’s like the room expects sex. It’s well and truly set out its stall, with all the kit an S & M-loving swinger could possibly need, and we’re just chilling around it, trying to pretend it’s not there. It’s hard to have a serious conversation when you’re sitting on chairs with holes in them, under straps that hang from the ceiling. And, not to sound hysterical, but it feels like an accident waiting to happen. Take it from the person who had to find the key after Clarky handcuffed himself to the table. Suddenly, I can’t understand why I didn’t leave him there.
Maxi, unwilling to leave the relative sanctuary of the swingers’ room just yet, ordered a breakfast buffet to be delivered to us – and, wow, did they deliver. I swear the smell of coffee hit me before the person bringing it even knocked on the door. Multiple trolleys arrived with a variety of drinks and foods for us all to help ourselves to. I swear, the boys’ eyes turned to love hearts when they saw the cured meats arranged artfully on a platter. I usually prefer sweet stuff for breakfast but I had a slice of prosciutto and it felt like it melted in my mouth. In fact, it was such a visually stunning breakfast, with brightly coloured fruits creatively arranged on a platter, but – for me at least – the real stars of the show were all the pastries. Croissants, brioche, and my new favourite thing: cornetti. They’re sweeter than croissants, I prefer the texture too, but the fillings, oh my God, Nutella or vanilla custard – I couldn’t choose, so I had both, washed down with a coffee and chased with the freshest glass of peach juice I have ever tasted. Heaven.
After we ate, I slipped on one of my new bikinis – and a mini sarong, to help cover the bits it doesn’t cover, that I really, strongly feel it should – and headed down to the pool area with the others.
‘Pool area’ feels too weak a title to describe where we are. Yes, there is a pool here, a massive one with a bar inside it that you can swim up to, and a water slide that twists and turns before spitting guests out in the pool. Every few minutes I hear the delighted screams of those who have just taken the plunge.
Beyond the busy surrounding area packed with sunloungers there is a wide-open space, filled with even more sunloungers, tables and chairs of various shapes and sizes. I’m told this area turns into a club after dark. The space is surrounded by fancy lighting (not turned on; obviously, the sun is beaming down on us right now) and leads up to a stage housing an epic DJ booth. I notice a couple of people on the stage messing around with microphones and pieces of paper, as though they’re just about to do something.
I’m relaxing on a sunlounger, sipping a large, fruity cocktail as I people-watch. Perhaps it’s because yesterday I thought I was going to spend the next few days sleeping rough on a deserted beach, but I’m not sure I could be happier here. The sun is shining, the pool is sparkling, and the music is pumping all around us.
I’ve noticed a few things, in the short time we’ve been hanging out here. First of all, yes, we are absolutely the oldest people here. I get the feeling that, if we had tried to book a room here in the conventional way, someone probably would’ve had a word. I think we just got lucky – or confused the receptionist – turning up to book a room, given that this is an island and everyone else used a ticket to board the boat here. Groups of holiday-goers are all around us, everyone seemingly wasted already, drinking, dancing, dry-humping – the three Ds that make for a perfect holiday when you’re young. I tick myself off – I’m in my early thirties, I’m not old. I could drink, dance and dry-hump with the best of them if I wanted to.
Another thing I have noticed is that most of the guests here are English, and a lot of the staff too. It feels like this resort exists to cater to Brits wanting to go abroad and have a wild time. Signs are in English first, then Italian, and everyone I overhear chatting has an unmistakeable accent from back home somewhere, to the point where every time I hear a Scouser, I panic that it’s my Scouser, Clarky, up to no good.
No matter where you look, or what you see, you can’t deny that this place has a good vibe. Maybe it’s the sun, maybe it’s the cocktails, but even watching a girl hold her friend’s hair while she throws up underneath a palm tree makes me smile – what are friends for?
‘Cam, that is a fantastic idea,’ Maxi insists. ‘You have to do it.’
‘Do you think?’ he replies. ‘I’m seriously considering it. Now that I’m at a pause in my life, I can’t think of a better time.’
Cam has just been telling Maxi and DJ about his plans to set up a creative hub for young people, to nurture their talents in English, art and drama.
‘I wish we’d had something like that when we were younger,’ Maxi says sincerely. ‘You have to do it.’
‘There’s huge demand for tutoring at the moment,’ I chime in. ‘Especially in an area like where we grew up. Everyone just wants to give their kids the best start in life. The kids who aren’t doing so well need extra support. The kids who are doing well want help to thrive in their favourite subjects. It could be a great thing for our community.’
‘You’d be perfect, Jas,’ Maxi says encouragingly.
‘It sounds right up my street,’ I reply.
‘Hey, don’t throw away a job you love because I’ve had a wild idea,’ Cam insists.
Why did I go so hard on the job thing when – obviously – I don’t have one, and something like this would be a dream come true for me?
‘This idea could be a reality, though,’ Maxi tells him. ‘I have an investment that’s about to pay off, I’m looking for a new one, something I believe in.’
DJ’s ears prick up.
‘You mentioned that maybe you would tell Rupert about my distance-teaching tech ideas,’ DJ reminds her. ‘Do you still reckon he would be interested?’
‘I have a video call with him later,’ she replies. ‘I’ll see where he’s at.’
Maxi’s obvious attempt to avoid the question makes me smile. DJ, on the other hand, appears unfazed, as he continues to talk about his plans.
‘We’re on holiday from our holiday,’ I joke. ‘We shouldn’t be talking about work.’
‘If we’re on holiday from our holiday, does that mean we need to go even deeper into holiday mode?’ Maxi asks. ‘Like, if we were taking a break from day-to-day life, and now we’re taking a break from that… I think – and I hate to say it – Clarky might be right. We’ve ended up here, somehow, in this situation. Shall we just go for it?’
I just laugh.
‘I’m serious,’ she says. ‘Fate has landed us here for a reason.’
‘I’m all in,’ DJ replies, banging his hands down on his sunlounger to show just how much he means it.
‘Me too,’ Cam says. ‘When will we ever be in a situation like this again?’
‘What do you say, Jas, are you down for a few days of seeing who can cause the most trouble?’ Maxi asks, giving me an encouraging wink to help me with my decision.
I chew my lip thoughtfully.
‘Assuming this doesn’t involve the six of us having an orgy in our room, yes, go on then,’ I say excitedly, throwing my hat into the ring.
‘No, no orgy,’ Maxi confirms. ‘But if we were going to have one, you are the three people I’d choose.’
‘Aww,’ Cam jokes playfully. ‘So sweet.’
‘Mike’s got pretty big arms,’ DJ reasons and we all laugh. ‘What? I’m just saying. He could be useful.’
‘Well, okay, sure, in this hypothetical orgy, Mike can join in too,’ Maxi tells him. ‘I just felt bad saying everyone but Clarky.’
‘Aside from – surprisingly – being the only member of the gang to admit to knowing how a spanking bench works, I don’t think he’d be the best in an orgy,’ I tell them. ‘Did you see me have to take something off him earlier? He was sucking one of the jam sachets from the pantry because he was hungry. I had to tell him it was strawberry-flavoured lube.’
