Ma, Now I'm Goin Up in the World, page 17
The thought hit me. Me! With the gentry! And already thinking I’m one a them! I started to roar me head laughing at the idea. Jaysus! That’s a good one! Who would believe it? That one day I would be turning me nose down at someone else because I thought I was too good for them? Don’t ever do that, Martha, I whispered to meself. Yesterday I was nobody. I had nothing. But I had a heart. Today I’m staying in a big house. For a minute today I thought I was somebody. But I had no heart. Don’t be a gobshite! Ahh! I’ll make it up to him. Yeah! I’ll have a laugh with him the next time I see him. We won’t start fighting again. He’s really a gas character! Especially the way he got around the aul one! Buttering her up like mad so he could get his hands on the sixpence. Hmm! That was good money! I wonder how much that job pays?
The wind started blowing me coat around me, slapping the back of me legs. Gawd, it’s beginning to get much colder. Wonder if I should go back to the house? I think I will, I thought, rubbing me hands together to warm them up. But maybe I will just have one last look around before I do. Right! I’ll go round this way and see what else there is to see. I turned left and walked past the front of the big house, admiring all the ivy growing up the walls and framing the windows. Gawd! It looks so lovely. The big old house with the rich people living inside. Well, the mother is on her own now. But still and all, imagine, I’m living here now too. Yeah, well, even if it is only for a little while. But I still got to live with very rich people and I’m not just working for them either. No! I’m in there living in the middle of them. I’m nearly sort of living like one of the family.
I turned left, passing the big glasshouse for growing stuff in. I could see pots all along benches and sitting on a big wooden table that sat in the middle. There was green stalks creeping up the glass and lots of plants and things. But I don’t know anything about garden things. I won’t bother going in there. There’s nothing to see.
I walked on, looking straight ahead, seeing a big barn sitting to the right, in against the high wall. I wonder what’s in there? I headed over, seeing the doors wide open. Oh! That’s very nice.
I walked in, getting a look at a big black old-fashioned car with huge headlamps sticking out the front. I walked around the side, standing up on the running board under the door, and looked in the window. Me eyes took in the long brown soft-leather seats, with all the lovely red-brown wood going underneath the steering wheel. The shine on it would let you see your face in it. Gawd! That’s something like the Queen of England would get herself driven around in. Talk about fancy! That really does tell everyone straight away: Look at me! I’m a very important person with loads of money! So you can get outa me way!
Jaysus! I can imagine what it would be like to sit up in the back of that and have everyone staring at you. Hmm! I wonder if I could get the mother to take me for a spin in that? Better still! Get her to go past Jackser’s house, with him standing outside with his eyeballs sitting on his cheeks at the sight of me drawing up in the car. I could open the window and shout, ‘Bandy aul bastard! Watch out! You’re on me hit list! I’m living with the Mafia.’ Yeah, someone like Al Capone that chased Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon with Marilyn Monroe in the film Some Like It Hot. They were all running for their lives with the gangsters chasing them with big machine guns! I loved that film when I went to see it! Oh, I would give me eye teeth just to see Jackser flying down the road with the coat flapping out behind him. But instead of chasing me, he would be running for his life, shitting himself like mad and screaming for mercy. Yeah, the gangsters, they even had cars that looked something like this one in the film.
I turned away, giving out a long sigh. I had a big smile on me face and a feeling of contentment, thinking, nothing is impossible. You can do anything you like in this world. Lots of people must have started off poor to begin with. I bet this family even had a few paupers if you go back far enough. Yeah! Life is definitely a bowl of cherries!
I spotted an old man working further down along the wall, hunched over a shovel, digging at the bushes. Right, I’ll make me way down and see what he’s doing. He had a wheelbarrow next to him and he was busy throwing big clumps of earth with weeds, sending them flying to land in the barrow.
‘Hello, Mister! How’re you?’ I said, coming up behind him.
‘Gawd almighty! Where did you come out of?’ he said, whipping his head around, showing the whites of his eyes.
‘Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to give you a fright. I’m just on a ramble. What are you doing?’ I said, looking at his big wellington boots, with the tops turned down, digging into the shovel making a big hole in the earth.
‘Oh, I’m transferring a few aul bushes. I’m hoping they may do better with the bit of shelter here,’ he said, pointing at the bushes lying beside him, waiting to get buried again. He stopped, with his foot still on the shovel, then wiped the snots hanging down his nose with the back of his hand.
I stared at him, taking in the red weather-beaten face from years of working out in the open, with the bit of purple around his nose and mouth. He had a greasy flat cap on his head, and he pulled it down tighter, settling it well down on his head, and went back to work.
I stood and stared, enjoying the sight of what he was doing, saying, ‘How long did it take you to learn all about doing this, Mister? Telling the difference between all the different bushes and flowers and things?’
‘Well,’ he said, lifting the cap and wiping the sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his aul jacket that was as old as himself. ‘Sure, what is there te know? Yeh just stick them in the earth an away they grow! Then, if ye’ve done the wrong thing, ye’ll know soon enough. Then yeh learn! Sure, isn’t that the way of everything? Yeh just get on with something an learn as yeh go.’
‘Yeah!’ I said, thinking he’s right, and watching as he slapped the greasy aul cap back down over his nearly bald aul grey head. Then he landed his head back to the shovel and carried on digging. The two of us watching the hole get bigger.
‘Right!’ he muttered, dropping the shovel and reaching down to lift up a little bush lying on the ground.
‘Have you worked here long, Mister?’
‘Long enough,’ he said, keeping his eye on his work.
‘Do you like working here?’
‘It’s a way of life,’ he said, landing the bush in the hole.
‘Did you work here when the woman’s family were all young?’
‘I did,’ he said, shaking his head slowly.
I waited to hear more. But he was quiet again. I stared at him filling in the hole around the bush. Ah, he’s not bothered much about talking. Maybe I’ll move on and leave him in peace. But I hung on, watching him quietly for a while, saying nothing.
‘I worked for the young Justice Fitzgerald, the present lady’s husband,’ he said quietly, out of the blue, nodding his head over to the house. ‘An his father before him. All gentlemen!’ he said, as he nodded again, going back to slapping the back of the shovel on the earth and stamping his boot down, making sure the bush was well stuck down in the ground.
‘A Justice? Does that mean her husband was a judge?’
He nodded. ‘Yes. He sat on the High Court bench. He was indeed a judge in the High Court. As was his father before him. He was a judge in the Supreme Court. The highest court in the land.’
‘So this was where the mother’s husband grew up?’ I said.
‘Yes, that’s right.’
‘Didn’t he die?’ I said, wanting to hear the whole story.
‘He did!’
‘Was he young? Because the woman told me she was young when her husband died.’
‘Well, she was a lot younger than him! But he was young enough. I would say he was turning for the forty-year side of life.’
‘That’s not too old!’ I said, looking up into his face, trying to catch his eye. ‘Sure it’s not?’
‘No! He dropped down dead of a heart attack one Sunday evening as they were about to start dinner.’
‘Was he eating his dinner at the time?’ I asked, shocked at the thought of his head landing in the dinner plate, straight into the food.
‘I can’t say. But it was the beginning of the end for this house. Things were never the same after that! End of an era, it was. They all went back to her relations in England, the whole family. Only came back te open up the house for the summers. A lot of people who had worked for years an years were let go. Lost their jobs.’
‘Gawd! What did they do?’
‘I don’t rightly know,’ he said, shaking his head slowly, thinking about it. ‘Me an the Missus, we were fortunate. We had the cottage down below. She grew up there. Her family had lived in it for years. They had the tied cottage, yeh see. It goes with the job. Her mother an father before her had worked here. They met an married here. The mother was the cook an the father looked after the grounds, just like me. Did all the repairs needed doing, keeping the place up to shape.’
‘Oh, are you Mattie?’
‘I am,’ he nodded, lifting the handles of the barrow and starting to push off.
‘Oh, yeah! Your wife is called Missus Doherty!’
‘So ye’ve met the missus!’
‘Yeah, she’s a great cook.’
‘She is, right enough. But she, eh, has a terrible temper!’ he smiled, lifting his head sideways to me. ‘Did yeh cross her?’
‘Eh, only sort of!’
‘Dogs an kids are not her cup of tea,’ he said quietly, muttering to himself but wanting me to hear.
‘So, do you not have any dogs or kids?’ I said, wondering why I didn’t see any around, seeing as they lived here.
‘No.’
‘What! You have no kids?’
‘No,’ he said.
‘Not even a dog?’
‘No.’
‘Oh, that’s terrible! Because I don’t think your missus hates kids all that much! I think she likes them underneath all that giving out!’
He dropped his mouth, thinking, and nodded his head. ‘Could be you are right,’ he said, nodding at me again and looking at me, giving me a smile.
‘Right!’ I said, looking around seeing the sky beginning to get darker, and rubbed me hands feeling the chill March winds going through me. ‘I think I will head off back into the house. It’s getting a bit too cold out here for my liking.’
‘Aye! It could be rain coming,’ he said, eyeing the sky. ‘Go on in an tell the missus Mattie said te give yeh a nice mug a hot cocoa for keeping me company out here. That should warm yeh up.’
‘Right, Mattie! I’ll say you told me to,’ I said, laughing, thinking she will eat the head off me.
‘You do that,’ he said, nodding his head at me and laughing back. His eyes lit up and the skin went all crinkly. I enjoyed seeing him laughing. It made him look like a real happy granddad. ‘I’ll keep moving, before the rain hits. I want to get down to the orchard an do a few bits an pieces in the vegetable garden.’
‘Right, Mattie! Thanks for talking to me.’
‘I can return the compliment,’ he said, nodding his head and waving his hand at me without looking back.
Then he was gone. I stood staring after him, seeing him slowly pushing the wheelbarrow with his back bent and his head lowered, trying to lift the big wellington boots. But instead, he was only managing to drag his feet along the ground, like the boots were too heavy for him, as he headed himself off, making his way down towards the orchard, hidden inside a big, long, red-brick wall with two tall black gates standing in the middle under an arch. Ah, he’s such a nice poor man. But he’s getting too old for this heavy aul kind of a job. He should be taking life more easy at his time of life. It’s a pity he has no children to take care of him. Then they could bring him in a few bob and he could take life more easy. Gawd! It’s terrible being old.
Right! I better get meself moving too. I whirled around, digging me hands deep inside me old green coat and set me sights on getting back to the house. I sighed happily at the thought I had somewhere to get in out of the cold. Bloody hell! I really am steeped in luck. It’s just so great having somewhere to go, and not just any aul place either! I still can’t believe I landed on me feet! I took off, running through the trees and shouting into the wind, ‘Yeah! Life’s a bowl of cherries!’
I flew through bushes, sending birds screaming out of trees, making room for a squirrel that was running for its life straight up the tree. I shot around a big long hedge, galloping for all I was worth. Then I was around the corner and nearly ended up head first in a pond. Fuck! ‘Aaahh! Ohh!’
I came to a skidding halt, balancing meself over the water with me feet still skidding and me arms waving. I flapped like mad trying to get meself back, then landed on me arse, right on the edge with me feet dangling in the dirty water. ‘THE CURSE A JAYSUS on whoever was thick enough to put a bleedin waterhole right where no one could see it!’ I screamed, getting meself back on me feet and brushing the mud and wet off me one and only good coat. ‘I need this for wearing every day,’ I moaned, nearly crying with the rage at seeing the state of it. I snorted me breath, heaving in and out through me nose, raging there was no one around I could let fly at. Fucking eejits! Rich people are so thick when it comes to wasting their money! They have no bleedin sense! I sighed, looking down in disgust at the dirty rotten leaves and dead plants floating in the filthy green water.
Then me eyes peeled over to a big grey statue of a woman standing over in the corner. They had her up on a big block of cement or something. She had nothing on but a woolly hat on her head and a scarf wrapped around her neck. Her hand was pointed in the air and the other one holding her hip. Someone thought, because she was stark naked, she might like the hat and scarf to keep her warm. I had an idea. I rushed over to get a look. Yeah! There’s nothing wrong with the hat, and the scarf is in good condition. Right! They’re just what the doctor ordered. I’ll wear these meself.
‘Thanks, Missus!’ I peeled the scarf off the statue’s neck and grabbed the hat. It fitted me grand. The scarf even smelled of lovely perfume. I put the hat on me head and wrapped the scarf around me neck. Lovely! But they’re a bit damp. That’s from being out in all the elements.
Right! I’ll wash these and I won’t know meself with all the comfort when I go out in the cold. Then me eyes landed on the two ducks scraping themself out of the water, squawking like mad, telling each other, Hurry! Run for your life! They tripped over each other, then rolled back on their feet, screaming in rage and fright. They took off again, heading for the bushes, dragging their back legs behind them and their arses held in tight, thinking I was going to give them a good kick up the arse with all me shouting and roaring. ‘Sorry, ducks!’ I laughed, waving me scarf over at them hiding in the bushes. Right! I’m feeling better now with me new stuff. Anyway! It was me own stupid fault. I should have gone more easy. Then me coat would be OK. Jaysus! I came too fast around that big bleedin hedge.
OK! Which way? I could see more statues and white benches for sitting down resting yourself. No! I’m not interested in that. It’s too damp and cold and miserable out. Where’s the way into the house? I don’t want to go all the way around to the kitchen entrance then have the aul one giving out to me. Or worse still, in by the front door! The mother, or the aul one, if she has to answer the door, might think I am just a bloody nuisance and the sooner I’m gone the better for everyone. Oh, no! I can’t be having that. The longer I stay, the better for me. But I have a fear of being in the way. I don’t like going where I’m not wanted. So, I’m going to make sure I don’t become in people’s way. Then they might forget I’m even here! I could ramble around here for years, nipping in and out for me grub and a lovely warm bed to sleep in! I thought about that, getting the picture of people forgetting all about me. Yeah! It could work if I keep me head down. The place is bloody big enough! Ah, stop yer kidding, Martha. It’s a lovely dream.
17
* * *
I walked back the way I came, looking for a way in. Me eyes peeled over to the side of the house, spotting a side door. Ah ha! Maybe I can get in that way! I rushed over to see if it’s open. The handle turned and I put me head in the door, seeing a dark passage with a door on the right and one in front of me. I shut the door behind me and looked around. There was a long line of wooden pegs on the wall, with raincoats and jackets hanging on them. Down on the cracked and worn out aul red tiles on the floor was a line of wellington boots and old shoes. A big black box sat in the corner with walking sticks and umbrellas sitting in it. Ah! This must be for when you’re going outside. I lifted up a black walking stick made out of a tree. This could come in handy, I thought, swinging it around. I could use it for hitting the bushes when they’re thorny, and other things that get in your way. I had a look at a long cream-rubber raincoat. This could suit me grand when I’m going out for walks, I thought, trying it on and twirling around to get a look at meself. Might as well try on the wellingtons while I’m at it. This coat and the boots would save me own coat. And the wellingtons would keep me feet nice and dry.
I put me new hat on me head and wrapped the scarf around me neck. I was so busy checking meself out, wondering if I looked all right, that when the door suddenly opened and a figure appeared I let out a scream with the fright!
‘Ahhh! Oh, my goodness!’ roared the mother, grabbing her chest with her hand. ‘Where on earth did you come out of?’
‘Oh, you gave me a fright!’ I said, standing in me new get-up, with her eyes flying up and down me, taking me in wearing her raincoat and wellingtons!
‘Goodness! You startled me!’ she puffed, with her eyes staring out of her head and the colour drained out of her face.
‘Sorry. I was trying not to disturb anyone,’ I muttered, feeling like I got caught like a robber.
‘Well! You have certainly managed to do quite the opposite!’ she snorted. ‘What are you doing wearing those things?’ she said, pointing at me, sweeping her finger up the length of me, trying to make out what I was up to.
