‘You see, in olden times when the young girl was preparing to marry, she would start to receive presents. Things that she would set away in her marriage chest. They could be linen tablecloths and silverware for her table. All sorts of things, really, she would need for her own household when she married. It was in preparation to help her start up her own household. So she would keep all these things in here, you see!’

  ‘Oh, yeah,’ I said, getting the picture of a young girl wearing a lovely long frock and living in a house like this. Getting presents of lovely lace tablecloths and boxes of silver knives and stuff. Then putting it all away, ready for when she moves into her own home. ‘That was a great idea,’ I said, smiling at the mother.

  ‘Yes, it was,’ she said, lighting up a cigarette.

  I still had my five in me hand. ‘Eh, could I have a light for me cigarette, please? I said, showing her me cigarette.

  ‘Oh! Do you smoke? Yes, of course you may. Here! Would you like one of mine, dear?’

  ‘Eh, yes, please,’ I said, taking one out of the box and holding it in me mouth while she lit it for me with a lovely little lady’s silver lighter.

  ‘OK! We are almost there,’ she said, walking off and turning up more stairs and up another landing. Then finally we stopped outside two doors. ‘In here! I’m sure you would like this one better,’ she said, pushing open a door into a huge room with big black beams running across the ceiling. I looked around, seeing two beds against a far wall, with two big stout wardrobes in each of the corners. The beds were far away from each other, with big mahogany lockers next to them and a table lamp sitting on the top.

  The wall behind the door had two more beds with the same – a locker standing each side of them. Then, under the windows, one each end of the room facing the door, was a bed with a locker, and a table lamp. The windows came slantways from the ceiling to the floor. A big press took up the whole wall just inside the door. I looked around, seeing all the beds had the same dark-green covers with a tassel around the edges. And they covered the whole bed, going down to just inches from the floorboards. I looked down, feeling the softness of the lovely dark-blue rug under me feet. It covered the whole of the middle of the floor. ‘This is just lovely,’ I sighed, feeling really contented in meself at being so lucky to have landed meself here.

  I walked over to the window and lifted me leg, resting me knee on the cushioned seat that wrapped around the window, and leaned over to get a look out. I couldn’t believe me eyes. ‘Oh, my God! Look at that view. It’s just beautiful,’ I whispered, holding me breath looking down, seeing the sight of all the lights just underneath us, then spreading out, way into the distance. Me eyes followed the light, then there was a big gap. I was looking at all the darkness in the middle. A big beam of long light was rolling from the lighthouse, sweeping its light across the sea, warning ships about the rocks. Letting them know, beware! I watched, seeing the beam of light go dull then fade away into darkness. I waited, staring, seeing it come to life again, the light getting stronger until it lit up the whole bay. Beyond that are more lights. A long line in the shape of a half moon, looking like how a diamond necklace would sparkle. It lit up all along the bay. It’s the city lights, stretching for miles and miles.

  Then I could see lights closer, moving slowly. Blinking on and off, as the headlights of cars, looking like little dots of light, disappear, leaving only the black night. Then more light would appear, pushing out the dark.

  ‘You see!’ the mother pointed, leaning in beside me and sitting down. ‘It is so beautiful,’ she breathed, holding her hand on her chest, staring into the distance, her eyes moving, taking in everything. ‘Really, one could never tire of this sight,’ she whispered, half to herself and half to me.

  I shook me head, barely moving, hardly breathing.

  ‘Look! Do you see the lights all along the bay? Oh, look, out to sea. It is the ship sailing over to Holyhead.’

  I stared, seeing the ship all lit up, making its way in the dark lonely sea. Everyone on that ship knowing they were in safe hands. The ship though small and the sea mighty. It could be tossed up on waves and rolled from side to side. But the sea would not win. The little ship would get there. Yeah! Because it was made by people, and we know how to fight what life throws at us, I thought to meself.

  We stared for a long time, leaning our heads close, the pair of us lost in the sight of such beauty. Sitting together, not saying a word. Never in all me born days have I had such contentment.

  She sighed and turned, then stood up. ‘I think you should be very comfortable up here. What do you think?’ she smiled, looking at me and looking around the room.

  ‘Oh, yes, Mrs Fitzgerald! Thanks very much for everything. Definitely, I really love this room,’ I said, smiling and nodding looking around the room, feeling all delighted with meself.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, looking around the room. ‘These rooms once served as the servants’ quarters. The servant girls would have slept here.’

  ‘Did you have servants living here, Missus Fitzgerald?’

  ‘Well, we did have girls when the children were young. We would have had a nanny and a nursery maid. And the cook, of course! And other help. But the house was once closed up for many years. It was when my husband died. I was terribly young. All the children were still in nursery, so we upped and left and went to live in my parents’ house in England. They had a much bigger house, of course. So needed a larger staff. We then had plenty of help with the children. Naturally, I took along some of my own staff. Nanny and the children’s nurse. We did, of course, return for the summer season. By then, the children were a little older. They were away at school. So this was a nice change for all of us. I suppose you could say this was our summer home.

  ‘Yes, the servant girls! They did indeed live up here!’ she said, swinging herself around, looking and remembering back to them times.

  I didn’t ask her how many children she has. Or what her husband died from. Because I didn’t want to be nosy and get meself into trouble with her. I could imagine she might get insulted by me asking her business. It’s not like talking to ordinary people. She doesn’t live like other people. Her concerns are about what? Maybe just being lonely? Not really having anyone living with her any more, after living all her life in a big house with servants and family around, and children to keep her occupied. Yeah! But still and all. I’ll keep me distance until I know her better. But I might ask the priest when I see him. Wonder when that will be? I could feel meself sinking a little, feeling a bit lonely without him. It makes me feel a bit cold and empty somehow. Like the lovely warm feeling of having someone around me, it made me feel I mattered. Now he’s gone, taking the warm feeling I had inside meself. Leaving me with a strange feeling. Like I’m more on me own now than I ever was before.

  ‘Choose whatever bed you like,’ I heard her say. I whipped me head around the room, seeing the table with the marble top just behind the door. I looked across, seeing the lovely basin for washing yerself in, and a matching big jug sitting inside it. I suppose you put the water in the jug and carry it up when you want to wash yourself. I’m not doing that. I’ll take meself off down to the bathroom. Me eyes peeled on all the beds. The one at the end in the right-hand corner – ‘I’ll take that one!’ I said, pointing down to it.

  ‘Oh, but of course, dear! Whatever may suit you. Yes, they are all made up. I like to have everything in readiness. People, you see, are always popping in. Then they invariably end up staying over. Or I have invited people, weekend guests, that sort of thing. Or friends and family who have guests spilling over. These, they shunt onto me. The unfortunates are offloaded here!’ she laughed, making a tinkly sound. ‘Then of course there is the family. They will be arriving shortly. They are bringing their children. My grandchildren. So they will be storming the house. Goodness! That should be fun. Of course that will play merry hell with poor Maeve! She hates the chaos!’ Then she threw back her head and roared laughing.

  I watched her, being reminded in an instant of Father Ralph.

  ‘Poor woman is getting on,’ she muttered. ‘Yes, I am sure you will enjoy them. There are some of the children who would be around your age. Of course some are younger. But they entertain themselves. Now! Do you have everything you need?’ she said, looking at me.

  ‘Yes! What about toiletries? Towels? Come along with me and I’ll get you some. Oh, yes! I had forgotten. I must show you the bathroom; it is just the next floor down. Perhaps, dear, you might like to take a hot bath before bed? Poor thing! You must be exhausted.’

  ‘Eh, yeah, I would, thanks,’ I whispered. Not wanting her to think me a bother.

  ‘Now if you want anything, just ask Maeve. Help yourself to whatever you need. Try the kitchen if you are feeling peckish. You youngsters are always grazing. I’m sure if you rummage around there, you should find something to eat. Maeve looks after the larder. She orders all the food. If you need me, my room is on the first floor. I don’t like beetling up and down all those stairs. Not at my age, thank you!’

  15

  * * *

  I woke up and for a minute I wondered where I was. The place sounded different. There is no sound and the bed feels different too, softer. Oh! I’m with the priest’s mother. In her house!

  I swung over and lay on me back, looking around at the room, seeing all the beds and getting the smell of polish from the floorboards and the furniture. I could even smell a bit of must in the room. That must be because everything is very old. I lifted me eyes over to the window, seeing the trees blowing in the wind. Ohh! I don’t have to work! I can live here in great style for a little while and do what I like. Me time’s me own. I snuggled down in the bed, feeling the heat from the lovely white sheets and the blankets and heavy eiderdown weighing me down. Yeah! I’ve died and gone to heaven! My Gawd! I can go from nothing, living on the streets, to this! How did I ever do that? How did this ever happen to me? God! It was you! I have you to thank for looking after me. I knew you wouldn’t let me down in me hour a need.

  Think I’ll get up. Yeah! I’m starving with the hunger! It’s not early anyway. Must be after nine o clock. I dived into me clothes and made out the door, taking the stairs two at a time. Where’s the kitchen? I turned left and ended up in the big sitting room. Nobody here! Where the hell is the kitchen? I rambled back down the passage and heard pots banging. Ah, yeah! Here we go. I remember now.

  I opened the door and made me way in. The little woman was lifting a pot off the kitchen table. At the same time the two little dogs were growling in their bellies, having a tug o’ war with a little rag doll. I watched as they tore each other up and down the kitchen right under the feet of the woman. Suddenly, as she lifted the pot, heading over to the Aga, the dogs landed themselves sitting on her feet. Her hands flew in the air as she went back, losing hold of the pot. It flew through the air and landed all over the kitchen floor. Meat and carrots and onions went one way and the cold water ended up mostly landing on her, drowning the front of her apron and big woolly skirt. ‘The curse a Jaysus on ye’s!’ she screamed, turning the colour a beetroot. ‘Get out! Get out!’ she roared, lifting her slipper feet and giving them a kick up the arse. They skidded sideways, only getting a bang of the slipper that flew off her foot. Then they tore back and grabbed their doll, and the pair of them flew past me, making for the door. One of them came flying back to bark at me ankles and look up at me, then look at her flying down at them waving the sweeping brush.

  ‘Them bloody dogs are the bane of my life!’ she screamed, raging she couldn’t get her hands on them, then throwing back a lump of grey hair that found its way out of the hair clips and landed over the side of her face. ‘Well! What are you standing there for, looking like an ornament? Do yeh want something?’ she snapped at me.

  ‘Eh, would it be OK if I got meself a bit of breakfast?’ I croaked, looking up at her staring at me, wondering to herself if she could give me a bang of the brush as well. I moved meself well out of her way and edged over to the other side of the table.

  ‘Help yourself? Well, yeh don’t think I’m going te wait on yeh hand an foot? Go on! Go over te that press there and take out the cornflakes. Then get yerself out of my way! I have more than enough to be doing!’ she snorted, going back to pick up the meat and stuff that landed splattered all over the place.

  ‘Eh, would you like me to give you a hand?’ I said, bending down to pick up a lump of meat that ended up on my side.

  ‘Go on if ye’re doing it!’ she said, still raging.

  Ah, Jaysus! She really is a cantankerous aul biddy if ever there was one, I snorted to meself, rushing around and picking up the stuff, landing them back in the pot. I’m sorry I didn’t leave her to get on with it herself!

  ‘That’s the lot,’ I huffed, after flying and bending and looking to make sure there was nothing left lying on the floor.

  She said nothing, just carried the full pot over to the sink and dumped the lot out, washing them under the tap. I stepped over the puddles a water, deciding not to wipe it up. To hell with her! I made me way over to the press, seeing only cans of beans and all sorts of stuff. You can’t eat that for breakfast, I told meself, looking disgusted. I looked around, wanting to tell her. But her back was to me and she worked away, intent on her business. Right! I’ll have a root around.

  I closed the press and opened another one. No! Bottles of wine and boxes of fancy cheese, and sauces and all sorts of rubbish ye can’t eat. ‘Where’s the cornflakes, Missus?’ I said, beginning to lose me own rag.

  ‘Didn’t I tell yeh? In that press!’ she snorted, stubbing her finger in the direction of thin air.

  ‘What? This one?’ I pointed.

  ‘Yes! Are yeh capable of doing anything for yerself?’ she moaned, flattening her nostrils and squeezing her mouth shut tight as she rushed herself over to swing open a press well away from the one she pointed out to me. She lifted up an empty box and shook it. ‘I declare te God the larder is empty. Where is that delivery young fella with me groceries?’ she asked the window, looking over to see if anyone might appear. ‘I specifically told them in that shop I wanted them groceries by ten o clock at the latest!’ she snorted to the window, waving her finger at it. I waited to see if she might have another idea for getting me something to eat. But she just took off, rambling back to her pot and ignoring me.

  ‘Eh, ah!’ Me voice wouldn’t come out! ‘Excuse me!’ I shouted, not meaning to do that. ‘A bit of bread will do me,’ I said, hopping from one foot to the other, not wanting to get into a row but feeling I could if she starts me off.

  ‘Didn’t I just tell yeh? There is nothing in the larder until that useless article of a young fella gets himself here with my groceries! Now, go on out an wait for yerself. I’m busy enough without all these interruptions.’

  ‘OK. Thanks anyway,’ I muttered, making me way out the door. Bloody aul cow! Acting like she has the whole fucking world on her shoulders! Wonder where the mother is?

  I made me way back up the stairs and stopped, wondering which door was hers. There’s three of them on this floor. I knocked quietly on one of them and stood back waiting, holding me breath. I’ll just say good morning. Then if she asks me did I get me breakfast, I’ll say no!

  I listened, hearing only the quiet. Then I knocked on another door, harder! Nothing. ‘Eh, hello?’ I heard meself croak. I coughed and cleared me throat and shouted louder. No, she’s not in her room. Wonder if I should open a door and see what the rooms are like? No! She might think I am robbing the place.

  I heard the dogs barking and the sound of tyres rushing on the pebble stones. Someone is coming. I raced down the stairs, seeing the front door open.

  ‘Good morning, Martha! Did you sleep well?’ she beamed at me.

  ‘Yes, thanks very much, I did.’

  ‘Yes! You do look rested. Have you been up long?’ she said, slamming the door shut and whipping off her long fawn cashmere coat with a cloak attached that comes down over the shoulders. ‘Are you planning on going outside?’ she said, rubbing her hands. ‘Goodness! It is the weather for wrapping up warm. It is quite cold! I can’t wait for this awful weather to end. The March winds and April showers! Brrr! Oh, but I do love Paris in April,’ she said. ‘I have no idea why I still spend winters in this awful climate. Now! Have you eaten?’ she said, rubbing her bony shoulders. ‘I have been out getting early Mass. I do like to go during the week. It is more intimate. Less people. You tend to see the same faces. I suppose we are the early-morning hearty brigade! Now! Did Maeve feed you?’ she said, looking at me.

  ‘Eh, she wanted to, but the messages haven’t come from the shop yet,’ I said, not wanting to start any rows.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ she said, not seeing anything at all, because her eyes were beginning to stare as she walked off, muttering something to herself.

  The doorbell rang. ‘The door is ringing!’ I shouted, getting all excited it might be someone interesting.

  She swung herself around on her heels. Then she lowered her head and marched to the door, opening it. A young fella stood there wearing a check apron nearly tipping the ground. ‘Morning, M’am!’ he said, pulling a lock of his hair. ‘Got yer delivery here. Wha do yeh want me to do wit them?’

  She stood looking down at them, not really thinking. ‘Oh! Good boy!’

  ‘I’ll tell her! Maeve!’ I shouted, running for the kitchen. ‘Missus! The messages are here!’ I shouted again, still only halfway in the door.

  ‘Is that right now?’ she said, putting the last of the stuff back into the pot. She didn’t move herself. ‘Tell that young fella te come around to the back door! He’s no right te be knocking at the front door. He knows where I am.’

  I rushed back and opened the door. He was already gone! So was the mother!

  I raced back to the kitchen just in time to hear the aul one taking the face off him.

 

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