Devotion: For Love or Honor, page 4
The door opens before I can muster the energy to use my phone to alert Merrilee to my presence. “Hey. Oh shit. What happened.” Merrilee reads the expression across my face before I can explain. “Martin or Ariel?” I laugh.
“You know me too well.”
“Yes. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive, and you get wasted tonight?” Shaking my head.
“No. I have a couple’s engagement shoot tomorrow afternoon. I cannot have a hangover.” I pull out onto the street as Merrilee checks her reflection in the flip-down mirror.
“Your business is better, makes me proud.” She announces during her scrutinous glare towards her reflection.
“I am excited. With the Morrow couple that gives me two weddings in the spring.”
“Are you going to tell me about your Mother’s phone call?”
“How do you?”
“You look different when it is your jack-ass husband upsetting you compared to Ariel, the ice queen.” I giggle.
“I can’t believe you call my mother the ice queen. Ariel was a mermaid.”
“Yes. That is true in Disney world. Your mother could never be mistaken for a happy singing mermaid.”
The troubles with both my husband and my mother, are forgotten by the time we park and pass through the field gates.
“Why are you still wearing your dad’s old jacket?” Merrilee asks after she finished talking to the new science teacher, Brad Fletcher.
“What? It is warm, it may not be pretty as your shiny white thing but before this game is over you will be freezing your butt off. Me, on the other hand, will be warm and comfy under this old jacket.” I can sense her scowl without pulling my line of sight from through the lens of my camera, directed straight towards non-other than Ryan Raines.
#
Ryan
“Fifteen, Thirty, Fifteen, Hut, Hut, Hike.” The ball leaves my fingers, soaring through the air, a perfect spiral into the waiting hands of Roddy. The announcer’s voice rises above the roars of the home crowd.
“Raines to Campbell and yes ladies and gentlemen, that is a touchdown.” With only a few minutes left in the game, a field goal moves our score into winner’s position as the guest team gets the ball. I walk off the field, my job complete, with little to no chance our team getting the ball again in the last three minutes of play. My eyes meet hers as they have done throughout the entire evening since I first spotted her near the thirty-yard line as my team took the field. We, me and Mrs. Stephenson played the connection line through-out the game anytime my focus shifted to her instead of the football.
“Great game team.” It is Miss Hargreaves voice announcing as we walk off the field towards the player’s tunnel. Mrs. Stephenson is quiet, camera ready, leaving me to believe I will see the proof of her determination evident in Sunday’s newspaper. Yes. I read the local paper every day if not only to watch for her byline; photo by J. Stephenson. That is her, J. Stephenson. What the J stands for I have not discovered, not for lack of trying even going as far as to listen for her friend to announce the sound I long to hear.
With a towel rubbing over my hair, drowns out the sounds surrounding me. It isn’t until I pull my shirt on then my hooded pullover, combing my hair when I hear Chase, Shawn, and Ricky talk about plans for tonight. I had avoided most of the after-game parties since my sophomore year when I realized I was not into the partying. “Raines. Are you coming?”
“Where?”
“To Rudy’s.” I start to decline as my stomach takes over, reminding me it is time to fill it once again. “Come on. Let’s eat and play some pool.”
“What no wild parties tonight?” I tease when Chase throws his arm over my shoulder.
“Nah man. My dad shut me down on the partying can’t come home drunk again for a while.” I laugh. I don’t walk into my father’s house drunk at all.
“Okay burgers and pool, I am in.”
I park my Jeep, noting the crowded parking lot, busy even for a Friday night. It is an okay place on the outskirts of town down a country road off the main highway. With a small dance floor, making room for eight pool tables, there are also darts, tables to eat and drink, and the bar. The food is decent, and you get a good-sized serving for the money, which my stomach growls out in anticipation. The DJ is cranking up the music; the dance floor fills with line dancers. I ignore the crowd and head straight towards the bar to order food, with the guys right behind me.
“Great game tonight Raines.”
“Thanks, Rudy.”
“Where’s your Dad?”
“He called it an early night tonight.”
“Tell him to come to see me; he owes me a game of darts.” I laugh. “What can I get you?” I order the double-stack burger and fries with a large Coke. I choose an empty seat at a table in-between the action, the bar on one side, and the dance floor on the other. Better for people watching. The guys grab stools next to me, my thoughts drifting when I see a brief glimpse of shiny brown. No way. My eyes never stray from the dance floor even when our food arrives, I struggle to stop watching to see if my wishes are possibly coming true tonight.
I have most of my burger gone with a few fries left, sipping my Coke as the set of fast songs switch as the DJ announces a song for lovers. The dance floor clears as couples take the place of mostly ladies. Our eyes meet, with a pounding heart and a churning gut I can feel our pull from a few feet away as she moves nearer. Chad breaks the moment when he announces. “Miss Hargreaves, what are you doing here?” She giggles in response, clearly, she has been drinking. Her partner in crime attempts to steer her towards a table behind us, with tall bar stools like ours. The minute Miss Hargreaves tries to take a seat on the stool it starts to shoot out from underneath her. I jump from my place, food forgotten as I grab the stumbling teacher, assisting her to her seat.
“Thank you.” Miss Hargreaves releases on a breathless moan. Oh, geez.
“Anytime.”
“Jenny. Your guy is such a prince charming.” What the heck? Your guy? What is that? And her name is Jenny? Our eyes meet, her rosy cheeks visibly darkening in the neon light of the room.
“Merrilee, let go of Mr. Raines and let’s order some food.” I release a snicker as her friend relinquishes her hold on my arm. “Thanks, Ryan.”
“No worries.” I return to my table, finishing my food lingering, reluctant to get too far away from the teachers by moving towards the pool table. I nurse my drink, her name rolling over and over my tongue. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny.
#
Jenny
We left the game after the players walked off the field. I wanted to run up to Ryan to tell him how proud I was for the game he played tonight. I didn’t dare. All I allowed myself to do was for our eyes to meet, holding as we had done many times now since the beginning of school last month. Football season is nearing the halfway mark of the season, and it saddens me to know I have only a handful of home games left to watch him play. It sounds ridiculous when I let myself think about the way I lust after the hunky football senior. At Merrilee’s insistence, we drove out to Rudy’s, a pool joint that on Friday nights has a decent DJ and sometimes bands. The food is good, and the alcohol is reasonable and the best part none of Martin’s family or friends would ever be caught dead in a place like this, so I get an evening free to be myself.
What I didn’t expect after several drinks when Merrilee began to fall off the bar stool was the one object of my attention, preventing her fall and safely planting her round bottom on the wooden seat. But when my best friend announced Ryan as my guy, I wanted to bury my head in a giant hole in the floor. He seemed to blow it off with a chuckle, leaving me to return to his table behind us. I left Merrilee talking to some people she knows as I went to the bar to order our food, feeling Ryan’s eyes on my backside the entire time. Oh, geez what am I doing here? This is not right. Who would have thought I would run into some of my students in a bar, where the crowd is all well over the age of twenty-one except, for a small handful of seniors?
By the time I return to the table with our food the table next to us is empty; I pocket my change searching the crowd for one sexy quarterback hating the disappointment I feel when I realize his group must have left. Merrilee and I finish our very high-calorie dinner I will have to run off in the morning before I convince her for a round of pool. We are waiting for our turn for a table when I hear a familiar voice.
“Hey, you two want to play?” Our eyes meet. Shit.
“Yes.”
“Come play with us.” My cheeks move from ninety-eight point six to five hundred and ninety in a second. Before I can nod to accept Merrilee mutters under her breath.
“Oh, she would love to play with you.” Yelping when I pinch her arm. Ryan laughs. Shit. We decide on girls against boys, Ryan and his friend Ricky, a fellow teammate I have never met. He is quiet and respectful like Ryan as they talk and joke, not like the other two in the group. Chad and Shawn have taken off to flirt with older women and attempt to score drinks. I am unable to resist teasing Ryan when I ask.
“I am surprised you aren’t over with your friends trying to score some beer and women.” I regret when the words move past my lips by the expression on Ryan’s face. Shaking his head, he returns his focus on the game lowering to the edge of the table, hitting the white ball, taking out three striped balls in the process. “Nice shot.” I murmur. He eyes lift to meet mine, handing me the pool stick, his fingers brushing mine sending a string of tingling shivers from my fingertips up my arm.
“And no. I don’t need to try to score beer and women. I am happy exactly where I am.” My body shivers with a strange excitement as he moves away from the table, allowing me to take my shot. Merrilee had long lost interest leaving Ryan and me to begin another game when his friend went towards the dance floor. I do my best to place all my focus on the balls rolling across the green felt and not my opponent as he bends over the table, our eyes meeting as I take my shot.
Our game ends as the question of whether to keep playing hanging in the thick air between us. A buzzing in my back pocket breaks the tension when I spy the caller. Wishing I would have left my phone in the car I excuse myself from the sexy man standing inches from me, relinquishing the pool table in the process. I don’t stop to grab my jacket from the coat hanger on the wall, walking straight outside away from the music enough to answer the phone on the second round of ringing.
“Hello.”
“Where the fuck, are you?”
“Excuse me?” I begin to argue then reigning myself in to avoid the battle. “Sorry, I could not hear you. How is the hunting trip?”
“Miserable. I haven’t gotten jack-shit. Daryl did, got a Doe. My dad got a Buck. I will get one tomorrow.” Biting my tongue.
“I am sure you will. Then I will make the chili you love.”
“Where are you?”
“Out to dinner with Merrilee. Getting ready to leave now to head home.”
“What the fuck?” His voice grower louder through the small speaker. “I can’t trust you for a minute. You are out partying the minute I leave town. You better not be acting like a slut, out whoring yourself around with me gone.” I hear the words slut, whore, and worthless somewhere between my brain and heart shutting down.
“Martin. I hope you have a nice trip. I will see you on Sunday. Stay safe.” The words force from my lips, pushing away what I long to say. Ending the call, I stare into the darkness of the parking lot.
#
Ryan
Since my friends and I finished eating and grabbed a pool table, Chad and Shawn quickly lost interest in the game in search of girls and beer. The only girl I wanted to be near was eating the last few bites of her burger and fries while her friend flirted with every male that walked close to their table. I managed to play a full game of pool with Ricky before Miss Hargreaves and Jenny moved our way. Yes, Jenny. Long gone is Mrs. Stephenson. I now can only think of Jenny. When I see them standing, waiting for a chance to play the game, I jump on the opportunity inviting them to play against us. Ricky and I beat them the first round before him, and Miss Hargreaves left Jenny and me to play another game alone. When Jenny leaned down, just before she hit the ball, I received my first full view of her chest down the v of her sweater. I swallowed hard, willing myself not to look and without much success, I glanced her way again, spying a matching bra resting against the soft swells of her breast. Shit.
I returned my attention to the game, doing everything in my power to make this game last for as long as possible, never wanting this night to end. Much too soon, we are finished and contemplating another game when her phone buzzes in her back pocket. Jenny purses her lips and not in an I want to kiss you move but an I am not happy scowl. She excuses herself, bypassing grabbing her jacket to walk straight out into the cold. I relinquish the table to the next waiting party while I linger around walking closer and closer until I reach the door. When I can wait no longer, I walk into the cold night air, searching until I find her standing with her phone clutched in her hand.
“Jenny. Jenny?” Her name across my lips sounds sweet as the woman herself. Turning her head towards the sound of my voice, her hair loose over her shoulder, hiding the side of her soft features. “Are you okay?” I motion to the phone. Her eyes drift towards her hand then lifting to meet mine. “Jenny, are you sure?” Clearing her throat, a sound she makes in class reminding me I am her student, not her equal, and this is yet another conversation we are having.
She isn’t talking to me, her eyes glistening, filled with something akin to pain resembling a similar look I have seen in class or the morning hallway.
“Jen.” Watching her shiver in the cold, I reach over my head pulling my hoodie, warm from my body; I place it over her head, arms raise into the air accepting the warmth and worn softness until I encase her in my jacket. Our bodies are mere inches apart, her breath warm against my chest as I run my fingers through her hair, soft as I had imagined, pulling the hood over her head.
“Oh.” Her murmur is low against the muffled strains of music and cars in the distance. The doors from Rudy’s remain closed since my abrupt departure. The dark and quiet of the side of the parking lot as intimate as our two previous conversations alone in the classroom. Without a second thought, I pull her into my arms; Jenny’s head turns into the crook of my neck resting against my collarbone as her breath tickles my skin.
No words, just me and her in the night, heart to heart pounding in perfect rhythm as my hands make soothing circles across her back. I fight the overwhelming urge to touch her lips to mine, knowing the time is not on our side. For now, all I can offer is the comfort of my touch, and that is what I will do.
I feel her trim body shift in my arms, loosening my hold as she scoots back increasing the distance between us. “Jenny.” I murmur. My hand traces over the soft curve of her hip before I raise two fingers to caress her cheek, taking a lone tear away in the process.
“Don’t be nice to me.” Her words are ragged, filled with emotion.
“Why?”
“Because it will make me expect something more.”
“More than what?” I ask, filled with concern. Opening my hand, to cradle her cheek within the palm as I feel her lean into my touch.
“More than what I can have.”
Jenny steps away out of my reach, turning she walks towards the bar entrance. I hesitate to wonder what just happened. One minute I was holding her in my arms and the next she was gone. This was not Mrs. Stephenson, my teacher in my arms; it was Jenny. By the time I reached the door, I find her with her jacket and Miss Hargreaves leaving.
Our eyes meet across the parking lot after she buckled her friend into the car, with a short wave, then she is gone.
Chapter 4
Jenny
I manage to lure the very tipsy Merrilee into her condo and in bed, unable to make the drive myself back to that house I call home. Stripping down to my underwear, I pull a t-shirt from her drawer, slipping into bed with my best friend knowing all too well I will be unable to sleep while Martin and Ryan are on my mind.
The sun is streaming through the second floor of the condo when Merrilee tugs on my arm, waking me.
“Hey.”
“Thanks for getting me home safely.”
I rise from the bed, reaching for my clothes from last night. I need to get home and be ready for my photo shoot, glancing towards the clock. Ugh. Five hours. “No worries.” Ignoring her gaze that misses nothing.
“Jen. What are you not telling me?” I pull on my pants then my boots, picking up the scarf, and the hooded sweatshirt next to my camera bag. My dad’s jacket I left in my car, never putting it back on after I grabbed it from the coat rack at Rudy’s. “Jen, what is that?” My eyes trace the direction of her manicured nail towards the soft material in my hand.
“Ryan’s jacket.” Her brows furrow. “After you left us playing pool Martin called. I went outside to talk,” Merrilee sits up on the side of the bed. “I was upset, standing in the parking lot when he found me.”
“What happened?”
“Martin.” She cuts off my words.
“No. I can guess your idiot husband was an ass and you the sweet person you are stood there and took everything he had to say. I am asking about Ryan.” I make a face.
“He found me, and I was upset. I was cold he gave me his jacket, and we kinda-sorta hugged.” Her brows rose sharply then shift as her full lips part.
“Just a hug?”
“Yes. A hug.”
“How did you leave things?” Biting my lip, I let her in on what I said and his response. She nods, rising to pull on a sweater and yoga pants, following me downstairs as I prepare to leave. “You know in all reality; you have two relationships that you are juggling no wonder you are starting to lose it.” I turn confused by her comment. “Silly, do I have to break it down for you?” Shaking my head. “Jen. You are getting over your jerk husband, preparing yourself to walk away. And my dear, you are falling in love with one Mr. Ryan Raines.”
