Devotion: For Love or Honor, page 19
I focus on hanging decorations from the ceiling as the twenty seniors enter the room armed with boxes and Merrilee hot on their heels.
“Dang girl you got a lot done already. Where do we start?” Descending the ladder, I organize the newest boxes by the sides of the room, and while my friend takes charge of the group, I return to attaching the garland strands from the ceiling below the lights from above.
“You know I thought you had lost your ever-loving mind when you came up with this idea of dyed coffee filters.” I laugh.
“Hey, thanks to Pinterest. It was a cheap and easy way to make an awesome decoration.”
“I can’t wait to see it when the side lights are off, and the ones straight overhead make this seem more like a fairy garden.” I giggle. “I still don’t know how you got all of these done.”
“I have been hanging out at home all week remember.” She laughs, reminding me of the sixteen-hours a day, I put in while dying and drying coffee filters littered every available flat surface covered with plastic. I leave her to a section, moving my ladder ascending armed with a bag of strung together filters dyed, colors ranging from peach, pink to orange some resembling large tropical flowers connected by a thin white string. The effect I envisioned when the lighting from above shining down is a mystical upside-down garden. When the committee voted on a spring formal theme, the idea originated from one of the student’s grandmother’s dress; she planned to wear. The pink gauzy material with fluffy flowers covering the full skirt, I knew when I saw the photo which direction to take this dance.
I continue, my arms burning from reaching overhead taking a break I lean onto the top rung of the ladder, counting how many strands I have left in my bag. When I first planned this design, I had a pattern for how many strands per section of the ceiling, descending the ladder I shift it over once again moving towards the next part filling my bag making it easier to maneuver a bag across my chest holding the strands and runners with a belly-pouch for the push pins. I am once again at the top after my arms had found their much-needed relief and now hanging more strands when I hear Ryan’s name.
I fight the urge to stop working and look down to trace the source of the voice. I slow my movements as if I am counting and planning where to hang the next strand so I might hear the conversation above the rest of the noise in the hall.
“Did you hear? Ryan Raines has a date for prom.”
“No way. I thought he wasn’t even going.”
“It seems he agreed to go with a group of ballers and then asked Mia Reynolds. He asked her today to be his date. Talk about last minute.”
“She has had a crush on him for forever.”
“Duh. All of us have.”
“Yea, but she got asked. She told Becca that he told her he has liked her for a long time and finally got the nerve to ask her. He even apologized for the last-minute notice.”
My fingers burn turning white, gripping the edge of the ladder. My heart ached as my stomach churned. Oh, fuck, what did I do? I pushed him away, and now he has moved on. I knew it was a stupid high school crush, all those things he said. Lies all lies. The tears blur my site as I maneuver to hang another strand. My arms shake, leaving me dizzy at this height. It is the sound of Merrilee’s voice luring me to distraction down the tall ladder until my shaky feet stand on solid ground. I walk away from the group.
“Are you okay?”
“Yea I got a little dizzy I think it’s the looking straight up thing.”
“Did you eat today?” Oops, I forgot.
“I forgot. Gonna get some fresh air.”
I am sitting outside, angry for allowing myself to believe he was different when Merrilee finds me sipping from a bottle of water, sensing the mood, she waits patiently until I relent explaining what I had heard.
#
Ryan
“Hello.”
“Ryan, what the hell?”
“Merrilee, what’s wrong? Is Jenny, okay?”
“No. Not now she just heard about your date for the prom tomorrow night.” Shit I cringe, my shoulders shift as if I had taken a punch to the gut.
“Look. It’s not how it seems. She has to believe that. I never asked the girl out. She wanted to go together, so she didn’t have to drive alone.”
“Are you sure because that is not what she is telling everyone. Ryan. Look I know this situation is messed up. You two have only five weeks to go, and then you can be together if that it is what you still want.” I don’t hesitate to reply.
“Hell, yes I am counting down the damn days. Jenny pushed me away, remember? I am sitting here every night waiting for when I can call her, text her and hell, spend the night with her without problems. Merrilee, please tell her to trust me, and things aren’t always how they seem.”
We end the call, her anger somewhat dissipated with the promise they will talk once they are home alone. Shit, I knew I should have never agreed to go to prom. I only rented a tux because I had heard Jenny had been allowed to return to prom duty, my original plan to hang with the guys and spend time alone with Jenny after. I never agreed to a date with Mia, after she gave me some story about her parents not liking her boyfriend who goes to our rival high school. I only agreed to give her a ride, and then she had planned for him to pick her up halfway through the dance.
I bury my head in my hands, hating this and wishing Jenny would answer my calls. I try anyway reaching her voicemail on the third ring.
“Jen. Listen to me. It is not what you think. Okay. Babe, I am counting down the next five weeks please can I see you after the dance. I want to spend time with you, dance with you.”
I end the call, my head hanging low when my dad clears his throat, unaware he was behind me the entire time. I wait for the words of wisdom he has for me. He sets a beer in front of me; letting the silence build then pulling out the chair opposite of me. He waits.
“You want to talk about it, son?”
“I think I made things worse.”
I proceed to tell him about Merrilee’s conversation and what Jenny had heard. He listens, not interrupting as I open up to him with every feeling from each minute with and without Jenny.
“Son I am no expert at love, but I did learn a thing or two from a lifetime with your mom. I think all this little stuff will work its way out without too much trouble. You see, I think your girl is trying hard to do the right thing, not to keep you from being the high school senior you are. I believe she pushed you away to give you a chance to make sure she is truly what you want.” My eyes burn with feelings, throat clogged in a way it hasn’t been in a long, long time. “You see, I think your girl is in love with you and a part of her is afraid to lose you. But the other part is worried she will keep you from what you deserve.” He hesitates, scratching his chin with the tip of his nail. “You know Ryan; Jenny has been through a great deal in the past month. I can’t expect all these changes have been easy. She needs your patience.”
“Dad, how can you know all of this?” I ask, confused.
“Because son that was the take, I got from her when I met her.”
“You met Jenny? How? When? What did you say?” He chuckles. Shaking his head, then drinking down half of his freshly open beer.
“Son. Have some faith. I would never do anything to hurt you and your girl. It was a chance meeting, the day I had to go in front of the judge to keep that prick in jail.” I blow out a huge breath I was holding. “Son, I did everything I could do to keep you out of this as much as possible.” I nod with understanding. “Back to your girl, she was fearless when she stood up and talked. She did have to withhold one piece of information when they asked if she knew of your assault.”
My head jerks up. Shit, I went and told her.
“It’s okay. She covered perfectly. Said she didn’t know anything about it until her lawyer told her she was safe due to the second arrest.”
“The judge was okay with that?’
“Oh, yea. He changed the questions. She made a point to announce the marriage is over and had been for quite a while.”
“How did you talk to her?”
“I waited until she walked out of the courtroom, and I offered to walk her to her car. I wanted to talk to her without prying ears. We had a good conversation she is very special, and I can see why you are in love with her. She reminds of your mom, the same gentleness and yet so strong.”
“How did you two leave things?” I ask my nerves showing. He chuckles again.
“I let her know I respect the decision you two made to wait until graduation. You don’t have to worry. I did not mention your enlistment; that is your responsibility. I did let her know I approve of you and her and I might have said I look forward to getting to know her better.”
I love my dad more than I believe other boys do theirs. I have an awesome father one that is gentle and kind, slow to react out of anger or frustration unless it is warranted, case in point the asshole soon to be ex-husband. But here with me, he told me everything I needed to hear.
“Thanks, Dad. I love you.”
“Love you too, son.”
“Dad will you be okay if when my commitment is over, I don’t return here. I can’t see Jenny wanting to live in this town with all of the influence the Stephenson family has, and I never would want our kids going to school with any of theirs.” Now, he is full on laughing.
“Talking kids, huh?” I shake my head, finishing my beer. “What does Jenny have to say on the subject?”
“Well, we haven’t talked about it yet. But I plan too. Just didn’t want her to have to live here but I didn’t want to hurt you either.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me if you can convince your girl to give me a couple of grandchildren, I will have no problem traveling anywhere to see them. But son one problem.”
“What’s that?” I look up as he stands tossing his beer bottle in the recycle container. I installed a few months before. He is getting better at using the bin instead of the trash, but it has taken some adjustment.
“Son. Your girl thinks you have a date for the prom.”
I cringe. He is right. Shit. I sure hope Jenny forgives me and is ready to listen to reason by tomorrow night.
I checked my phone throughout the next few hours, barely sleeping overnight, up with the sun to get in a run to dissuade the urge to drive over to the condo and knock on the door. My saving grace came in the form of a text a few hours later with a message from Merrilee.
“Passed along your message. Don’t give up.”
I picked up Mia Reynolds, realizing my mistake the moment I arrived at her house when her parents came outside armed with not one but two cameras ready for the whole thing. We posed in so many different positions and front of a staircase, fireplace, flowers in the backyard, flowers and a tree in the front finally I made an excuse about dinner, and we were out of there. Mia ignored my frustration talking non-stop about what was happening tonight, and her excitement only made me more miserable. All I wanted was to get this over and fast, my plan to get as far away from the girl as I can the moment we arrive at the hotel.
#
Ryan
The dress shirt to the tux pulls tight across the neck, regretting the monkey suit for the night. I tug against the collar once more. My dad would tan my hide right now, but the last thing I need is for this girl to get any ideas in her head that this is a date. As soon as I cut the engine, I am out of my Jeep and five steps away towards one of my teammates before she realizes I have no intention of opening her door. Something, I have gladly done for Jenny many times and will continue to do for the rest of my life that is if she will have me after this mess.
“Raines. How’s it, blow?”
“It’s blowing. This chick.” I shake my head as she catches up with us moving mighty fast for the monster high-heeled shoes she is wearing. Her attempt at looping her arm through mine is cut off by another buddy Scott.
“Hey Raines, are you coming upstairs to party? We got a room, did you?” He eyes the girl behind me warily.
“I didn’t, but I sure can hang out with you. Going now?”
“Yea, man all checked-in and everything, got the booze, snacks and will have the girls later.” He gives me a knowing wink. I ignore the insinuation; these guys think of girls like pieces of meat. I hope to hell I have never been this shallow before I fell for Jenny. We migrate into the large hotel lobby following the signs for the grand ballroom. From this distance, I can make out the beginning of Jenny’s decorations and to say I am impressed by what little I have seen so far is an understatement. After presenting our tickets the line moves until we reach the photo stand, I plot my escape but not fast enough, and I find myself locked in next to Mia and smiling a fake grin which most likely resembled more of a frown. I can hear girls gushing over dresses, tuning them out I walk through the large doors only to stop short, causing a few behind me to slam into my back.
The place looks incredible, the coffee filters she had begun to dye the last time I had visited the condo are now strung up from the ceiling beneath the lights by a white string. It looks every bit of the magical wonderland as she had hoped. My eyes gaze across the room from the paper flowers and light-colored reflective balloons near each station, the food, drinks, and dance areas.
We walk in the rest of the way towards the dance floor, leaving my date while she is squealing with some other girls, to get a drink wishing for a beer right now. When I don’t see Jenny after several minutes, my frustration rises until I am in full anger mode, spying Merrilee near the food table, I walk straight towards her.
“Miss Hargreaves, you look beautiful tonight.”
“Thank-you Mr. Raines.” She follows my eyes to the decorations. “She outdid herself.”
“She did. Where is she?”
“She’s here. Had to take care of a last-minute detail should be back any minute. Where’s your date.”
“Ha. So not funny. And you were right she told me some fib about a boyfriend her parents don’t like. The guy is supposed to be showing up here halfway through the night and meeting her in a hotel room. Only I got to her house, and her parents were going on about the first time meeting me and that we have been dating. Then I had to suffer through a bunch of cheesy pictures.” Merrilee burst out laughing.
“Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh at your pain. But man, you walked right into that one.” I sigh. “Ryan if things were, you know different then this would be much better for you. Make the best of it. Graduation will be here before you know it.”
“Thanks.”
“When I see her, I’ll find you.”
I move off joining a group of ballplayers talking shit as they usually do. Right now, the subject is which girl they are taking to one of the rooms upstairs. I half-listen enough to seem as if I am paying attention all the while my eyes are scanning the crowd for my girl. It isn’t a few minutes later, and Merrilee walks past the group pointing in the direction of Jenny.
I watch her move into the ballroom in a silver dress clinging to her body with a dip between her breasts low enough that it leaves me with itchy fingers. Only my fingers are allowed to touch the soft valley between her breasts hidden behind the shiny material. I don't want one of any of these horny senior jackasses to say one word about my girl. “What the hell was she thinking?” I mutter.
I start heading straight towards her skating around the edge of the dance floor waiting for the perfect opportunity to get her alone for a minute, only to see a hand reach around her back guiding her onto the floor next to the other couples moving close together as the music changes to a slow song.
#
Jenny
“What the hell are you doing?” Merrilee whispers into my ear.
“What do you mean?”
“Dancing with David Fletcher.”
“We ran into each other when I came out of the bar.” I shake off her pointed glare. “No, I wasn’t drinking, but I guarantee I will as soon as I leave here.” Receiving a second glare, I continue. “I was alerting the bartender to Matt Johnson and Caleb Forester trying to buy drinks.” Merrilee rolled her eyes. “I know amateurs. So, all the bar staff knows to be on alert for the seniors. I was coming out when I ran into David. He asked to escort me in and asked for a dance.”
“Tell me you weren’t trying to make someone jealous.”
“No. Trying to ignore the fact that he is here with a date.” David walks by asking for another dance, Merrilee shakes her head in warning, I ignore her stares, following him onto the dance floor, stepping into his arms when the song changes to a slow one. He moves much too close for my tastes; I attempt to pull back while caught in his arms. His lips are much too near to my ear when he mentions my decorations. Instead, all I can seem to focus on is when I see Ryan moving through the crowd until I swallow hard, caught up in the pure sight of him. Damn. He looks amazing. His black tux molds against his muscular body as if he was born to wear the jacket, as it is tailored perfectly to his trim waist, while the pants mold to his meaty thighs. My mouth is dry as the Sahara Desert, as he moves onto the dance floor within mere feet of me, his eyes never wavering.
I witness something akin to pain flashing across his beautiful features before he shuts it down, replacing with a glimpse determination and a bit of anger.
My heart pounds erratically in my chest, pushing my gaze away from his I turn my focus to my dancing partner. The minute the song ends, I make my excuses to make my rounds encouraging my fellow teacher David to do the same taking off away from Ryan.
