Vice, Virtue & Video, page 4
Our genre? I don’t know that I want to be lumped in with the kind of shit she does.
“So, you got numbers for me or are we just gonna sit around and chat all day?” Rick pipes up, thank God.
Eva turns her attention to him and I take a deep breath and try to figure out what the hell is going on right now and why I have a sudden sense of impending doom. It’s weird. I feel like there’s a thundercloud of total dread just hanging over me and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t start pouring.
I’m jolted out of my dark thoughts when my iPhone buzzes on Rick’s desk where I left it to charge. Eva picks it up and glances at it for a moment before she hands it to me. It’s nothing important, just a reminder to pick up Lola’s dry cleaning. I put the phone in my pocket as quickly as I can.
“Who is that?” Eva asks, pointing to my pocket.
“Who is who?” I say, still kind of flustered.
“The woman on your lock screen,” she clarifies, referring to the pic of Lola in a yellow bikini from a fun day we had at the beach. It's a hot pic of her, I'll admit, but I have it for sentimental reasons, not sexual ones.
“Oh, uh, that’s my friend Lola,” I nervously reply.
“She’s very sexy. Does she work in the industry?” Eva continues her questioning.
“No way!” I chuckle. Lola? A porn star? She may have the looks and the potential for supreme sexiness, but the last career path my pure little angel would ever choose would be fucking on camera.
“This is funny?” Eva sharply responds to my laughter.
“No, no, I just …” I nervously struggle to explain. Eva’s intimidating as hell. “She’s not really, um, the adult entertainment type, I guess.”
“You only fuck her off-screen?” she continues and it makes me feel aggravated and defensive. I get weird whenever anybody talks about fucking Lola, whether they’re accusing me of doing it or they’re assuming somebody else has done it.
“No, she’s my best friend, I don’t fuck her at all,” I protest with irritation. “She’s never even had sex, alright?”
Eva’s bright red lips curve into a devilish smile and I immediately feel like an asshole. Lola’s sexual history is certainly none of this chick’s business, but I was nervous and flustered and I blurted it out by accident.
“James Langdon’s best friend is a virgin?” she purrs like a fuckin’ cartoon villain. “Very interesting.”
“Can we forget about James’ hot virgin for five fucking minutes and talk about this fucking deal?” Rick interrupts in a sudden surge of ballsiness. Phew!
“Yes, of course,” Eva nods graciously. She and Rick start talking about scenes and going over my limits list, but I don’t think she’s fully concentrating on it. I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. What the fuck did I just do? I feel like I just gave my treasure map to a fuckin’ pirate. Eva’s crazy and I don’t feel like a pussy admitting that she scares the shit out of me. From what I’ve heard, she scares the shit out of everybody.
Finally, there’s a gap in the conversation and I try to slip out undetected. I dart down the hallway and I’m momentarily stopped by Christie, who can’t remember where she put my bonus check. I’m tapping my foot as she looks for it, impatient and wanting to get as far away from Eva as possible. That chick just radiates that “bad news” vibe.
I finally rush out to my car, but before I get to the door, I hear the click clack of heels on the pavement.
“James!” Eva’s husky voice comes from behind me.
I crinkle my nose in disgust but I try to put on a smile when I turn to face her. “Hi, Eva.”
“It’s a shame you and I never got the opportunity to work together,” she says, trying to be all seductive and tempting. “I’ve seen what you can do and I would have loved to experience it for myself.”
She licks her lips as she looks me up and down. It’s not hot at all. In fact, it just pisses me off. I’ve banged older chicks, but I’ve never felt like they wanted to exploit and use me. Eva doesn't even look at me like I'm a person; she looks at me like I'm a thing, an object, something for her to toy with.
“Yep, too bad I was only twelve when you were working,” I say, wondering if this little remark will come back to bite me in the ass later.
She’s holding back a scowl, I can tell from the way her jaw clenches, and I know I should have kept my attitude in check.
“Your friend—Lola is her name, correct?” she changes the subject. I nod. “She’s very beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I cautiously reply.
“Is she natural?”
“What?” I’m still a little caught off guard that Lola’s even a topic of conversation with this crazy-ass dominatrix.
“Her breasts, are they natural?” she asks again, her expression a little more annoyed.
“Yeah, they’re real,” I nod. Lola’s been stacked since her early teens and I’ve practically had to build a wall around her to keep guys from chasing after her like a pack of wild dogs.
“Is she waxed, trimmed, shaved …?” Eva continues.
“I don’t know,” I reply hesitantly. I haven’t seen her naked in a long time and who knows what she's got going on down there these days.
“And you’re positive she’s a virgin?” she says. I can almost see the dollar signs in her eyes and I’m afraid of whatever scheme she’s planning.
“Yeah,” I snap, “I’m positive she’s a virgin.” Please! I’ve spent most of my life making sure no horny assholes take advantage of her, so yes, I’m certain that she’s a virgin.
“And you can confirm that?” Eva eagerly asks. She’s too excited about this and I’m feeling more worried by the second.
“Confirm it?” I wonder. What does she want, a note from Lola’s doctor or something? This is fuckin’ ridiculous!
“James, there is a very lucrative market for virgins,” she rapidly explains. “There are many in my client base who pay top dollar for deflowering videos. The first time captures the pleasure and pain they crave and they’ll empty their pockets to see a real virgin—they want the ones who will bleed. Your friend is gorgeous and if you could convince her to—”
“No fuckin’ way!” I interrupt. So this is what she’s been plotting since she saw Lola’s picture on my phone. “I’m not letting one of your sketchy-ass dudes fuck my best friend for a little bit of cash.”
“A lot of cash, James.”
“No!” I say sternly. “There’s no fuckin’ way I’d let somebody fuck her on tape for you.”
She pauses for a second and squints a little like she’s scanning my brain. “What about if you did it?” she asks, trying to gauge my reaction.
“What?!” I’m caught off guard by this question.
“What if it was you?” she repeats. “You said the two of you are best friends. Why don’t you do it? I’ll make it worth your while.”
“Eva, that’s not gonna happen.” My head starts spinning with all these thoughts racing through my brain. I’m a swirl of anger and fear and I can’t figure out which emotion is winning.
“You don’t find her sexually appealing?” she grins.
“No, I totally do, but I’m not fucking her on camera,” I rapidly fire back.
Wait, did I just tell Eva that I find Lola sexually appealing? Lola is really beautiful and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about her once or twice to help me finish a scene, but it’s not like I want to take her to bed. Besides, who says she’d even consider fucking me in the first place?
“Have you been intimate with her before? Perhaps in a lesser capacity?” Eva asks, continuing this relentless assault.
“It’s not like that, Eva,” I shake my head. Well, it’s not like that anymore.
I felt her boobs at our friend Dave Keegan’s pool party when I was sixteen and I fingered her once a few years later. That was the first time she’d ever come and I felt pretty fuckin’ proud of myself when I watched it happen for her. Even right now, I get a smile on my face thinking about the soft, feminine, little moans she made, but Eva’s voice cracks through my stroll down memory lane.
“You haven’t ever been with her before? Never? A beautiful girl like that?” she smirks, raising that sharp-ass eyebrow at me.
“No,” I lie. I'm way attracted to Lola and I know she's at least a little bit attracted to me. We've had a couple steamy moments in the past, but we both know that we wouldn't really work as a couple and I don't want her to sleep with somebody unless she's in love, so I know she can't sleep with me. It's complicated, but me and Lola get it. I don’t have time to explain this shit to Eva.
“But you’d like to be with her,” Eva says.
“I told you, it’s not like that,” I reply, neither confirming nor denying it.
“Have you taken a virgin before, James? With your looks and charm, I’m assuming that you have.”
“Yeah, a few times,” I quietly admit. I started having sex when I was thirteen, so I’ve been with my fair share of virgins over the years.
“And you wouldn’t like to take her, your friend? You find that idea repulsive?”
“No, I don’t find it repulsive at all,” I protest.
“So, you do find the idea appealing?”
“Yes—I mean, no—well, yes,” I struggle to articulate my reply. I’m so fuckin’ flustered by this whole conversation.
“You see that she’s sexy, you’re attracted to her?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you would like to sleep with her?”
“Yeah—well, wait, no. It’s not like that,” I try to explain.
“You said yourself, she’s your best friend,” Eva says in that hypnotic, vampire-glamor way. “You two have a mutual trust. Take her on camera and you’ll be handsomely rewarded.”
“Eva, I’m not fucking my friend for money,” I shake my head with disgust. I turn away from her and open my car door.
“You’d rather it be someone else?” she says, peeking over my shoulder. “You’d rather that she give herself to a stranger, someone with whom she has no longstanding relationship, no ties or connections? A drunken misadventure perhaps. Or maybe something worse. Much worse. A pretty girl like that is vulnerable, James. I’d hate to think of what an uncouth individual would do to her if he met her in a back alley somewhere.”
“What the fuck did you just say?!” I angrily turn around to face her. Was that a threat or just something to piss me off?
“Only throwing some scenarios out there,” she says, taking a step back. “I just don’t see why you wouldn’t want to claim her. Otherwise it’ll just be someone else who catches her at a moment of weakness and convinces her to give herself to him. What if he takes advantage of her, uses her, defiles her?”
Christ! Like all my fears lined up in a row.
“Take her now and you’ll be the only one who’s ever had her. Don’t you want that honor?”
Yes and no. I care so deeply about Lola that the thought of some dude carelessly fucking her like it was no big deal makes me a little nauseated, but I feel like I wouldn’t deserve to be the one either. She needs a Prince Charming kind of dude who will sweep her off her feet and commit to her before he tries to get in her pants.
“You don’t get it,” I say. “I can’t fuck her. She means too much to me to do that to her.”
“Don’t be silly, James,” Eva laughs. “Who wouldn’t want to lay a claim to a beautiful woman like that? When she feels that pain, she’ll know that you’ve been there—only you. Untouched territory never before explored by another man,” she whispers like she’s casting a fuckin’ spell on me with her mind. “Claim her, James. Claim her and make her never forget that it was you.”
“Eva, back the fuck off!” I say, my eyes narrowing on her. “Nobody’s ‘claiming’ Lola, alright? Enough of this shit!”
“I like that temper,” she sneers. “So you would like to take her, then? The idea of another man staking his claim on her upsets you and you know you’ve desired her before. You want her. You don’t want to picture her legs splayed, panting and moaning as she writhes on a bed, the shock on her face as another man tears through—”
“Shut the fuck up, Eva!” I shout. I can feel my jaw clenching and I have a surge of rage-adrenaline. “I’m not doing your scene, I’m not fucking my friend on camera and I’m not listening to this shit anymore! This conversation is over!” I growl as I get into my car and slam the door.
I peel out of the parking lot and I’m fuming the whole way home. What kind of bullshit offer was that? It felt more like a threat than a proposition. She wants somebody—me—to take Lola’s virginity on film just so she can make money off the video. “They want the ones who will bleed.” Well, fuck that! Lola’s innocence is worth a hell of a lot more than some bullshit clip on Eva’s creepy website.
As I get closer to the apartments, I get a pit in my stomach for another reason. What if Eva was right? What if Lola really does lose it to some asshole who doesn’t treat her right? For some reason, the idea of some other guy being with her that first time bums me out more than her doing it on tape. Another guy wouldn’t know to please her, how to caress her skin and softly kiss her, how to do everything gently and make sure it doesn’t hurt … but I know how. I’ve done it before with virgins, but with Lola it would be even more special because I care about her so much and I’d get to show her something she’s never experienced. No, no, no. I’m not letting myself even think about that. Lola’s my friend, not my girlfriend, not my 'friend with benefits'. She’s not for me and there’s probably lots of great guys who would be good to her. She can be with whoever she wants and there’s nothing I can do about it, even if it’s irritating the hell out of me right now.
I sit on Lola’s couch stewing in anger for about a half hour before she finally comes home from work. I get up and practically run to her, holding her tight in my arms like I have to protect her from the whole world. She’s like my perfect little rainbow, my angel, my little pixie and I don’t want all the fucked up ills of society to ruin her.
“What’s up, dude?” she asks with confusion when she pulls back from the hug. Clearly, she’s noticed the way my whole body relaxed the second I touched her.
“Nothing, Lo,” I smile broadly, relieved just to see her face.
“You sure?” she pushes. She can see it in my eyes. She’s always been able to read me like a book.
“I just had a fucked up day at work, that’s all,” I reply, giving her an inch and hoping she won’t go for the full mile.
“Do you want to talk about it, babe?” she sweetly asks, reaching out to lightly touch my face. The touch of her hand on my cheek makes me exhale and I feel this peaceful wave like I’m floating.
I take a big sigh as I press my hand over hers, holding it to my cheek and wishing Eva never saw that fuckin’ picture on my phone.
“Come on,” she nods to the couch, “sit down and tell me what happened.”
She has this weird, calming effect on me and I follow her and sit down beside her. She must know that her touch is comforting to me because she scoots forward and brushes my hair behind my ear before kissing my forehead and sitting back down. Her eyes push me to open up and I really, really want to, but I’m struggling to figure out how to remove the whole “some chick just offered me money to take your virginity on video” part of the conversation.
“Ok,” I exhale, “so you know Eva Satana?”
“The chick that does all that extreme stuff?”
“Right,” I nod. “Well she came by Rick’s office today and she was offering me money to do things—things I don’t think I wanna do.”
“Ah,” she raises her eyebrows, “the moral dilemma.”
“Yeah, but this is, like, way beyond anything I’ve done before and I really don’t want to do it. It’s shit that’s just ... wrong.” To my surprise, my voice cracks at the end of that sentence. Shit!
“James,” she says with surprise, immediately embracing me, “I’ve never seen you this upset by work stuff before. What the hell is this bitch asking you to do that’s got you like this?”
“I can’t tell you, Lo,” I say. Fuck! My voice is all trembly like I’m going to start crying. If I tell her what Eva proposed today, she’ll totally freak and she might get pissed off at me for unknowingly bringing her into this fucked up situation.
“I don’t know,” she says, sweetly attempting to reassure me, “I have a pretty high tolerance for the crazy shit that goes on in your world. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, managing a weak smile as she brushes her fingers through my hair, “I just don’t want to talk about this shit.”
She looks a little disappointed. I know she’s bummed that I’m not opening up to her about this, but I’m worried that, once I start, I’ll end up spilling everything and I still haven’t gotten my shit straight about how I really feel with the whole “taking her virginity so nobody else will get to” thing.
“Can we just have dinner and watch some TV like a normal Tuesday, please?” I ask. Even as I hear my words, I sound vulnerable and afraid.
“Of course,” she nods, hugging me tight one more time.
She smells so nice and I love having my arms around her firm little body. My head is against her chest and my chin’s brushing her cleavage. I hate to admit it, but I’m really digging that.
She tells me she’s cooking me dinner this time and she starts taking out the stuff for chicken parmesan. I insist on helping—I feel weird with her taking care of me—and she lets me help out with the tomato-olive sauce so I can feel like I have something to do. To her credit, she doesn’t push me to talk about Eva anymore that night. I manage to put it out of my mind as we chat over dinner. I’m not freaked out anymore by the time we chill out in the living room for Tosh.0.
Chapter 5 - Lola
“I hope you like Italian,” Eric smiles at me as we ride in the elevator back up to our respective offices.
“I love Italian,” I grin back.
