Vice, Virtue & Video, page 14
“You go within 50 feet of her again and you’re a fuckin’ dead man!” I growl at him and slam the door.
I race back into the bedroom and untie Lola’s hands. She’s weeping so hard and my heart feels shattered at the sight of her like this. I don’t say anything, I just scoop her up in my arms and I hold her close against my chest. Never in my life have I felt such a primal, intrinsic, fundamental need to protect someone. Keeping her safe is my most basic urge and it has been since the day I met her. How could I have let this happen to her?
She cries for a long time, her tears streaking down the front of my t-shirt as her body trembles with emotion from the trauma she’s been through. I hate seeing her like this. I hate knowing that someone made her feel like this. My beautiful, perfect angel! The kindest, smartest, prettiest, sweetest, most caring girl in the world. The girl that I love.
I rock her back and forth a little and stroke her hair. It seems to soothe her because her uncontrollable weeping becomes quiet sobs and sniffles. I kiss her head and rub her back, feeling her calming down with my every little touch.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner,” I whisper to her, my heart heavy. “I should have been here to help you. I should have fuckin’ killed that motherfucker.”
She sniffles and her arms wrap around me tighter as she snuggles into me like I can shield her from an atomic blast.
“Are you ok, baby?” I whisper to her, brushing her hair out of her face so I can look at her. “Did he hurt you? Please say he didn’t manage to … that I got him before he could …” I can’t even say it. Just the thought that Eric might have forced himself on Lola, that he would have violated her in such a horrible way—it’s more than I can bear.
She shakes her head and I hold her face and kiss her forehead before wiping her tears away with my thumbs and reaching for the box of tissues on her nightstand. I hand it to her and she takes one and wipes her nose.
“He spanked me,” she croaks, her voice raw and strained from all that crying. “He tied me up and he spanked me and it hurt,” she adds, grabbing her wrists and rubbing them.
I want to kill Eric. I want to track him down and strangle him. Her wrists are red from where his belt cut into her skin and so help me God if there is one bruise on her tomorrow!
“He said we were gonna do it like your movies. He thought I liked it and that you and I had sex like that all the time,” she weakly adds. “He wouldn’t stop when I told him no. I told him I don’t like that and I don’t want it rough, but he wouldn’t stop.”
I swallow hard. The horror of someone doing this to Lola is gut-wrenching, but knowing that he did this to her because he thought I did this to her makes it even worse. I feel like this was my fault. For the first time, I feel like something I did has come around to hurt someone I love—the only person I truly love.
“I’m so sorry, Lola,” I whisper. My voice cracks and I cradle her head to my chest.
“Don’t apologize, James,” she sweetly replies, her nose all stuffy from crying. “You saved me. You always save me.”
She smiles up at me and my heart feels like it’s going to burst. This angel. This perfect creature that I get to hold in my arms. I feel like my heart beats because of her, only for her.
“You got here just in time and you stopped him,” she says and her fingers reach up to caress the side of my face.
I put my hand over hers on my cheek and I tilt my head so I can kiss the inside of her wrist. She’s so delicate, like a butterfly or a humming bird, so pretty and little and special.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” I say, kissing her wrist again. “I’m so sorry that somebody thought they could do this to you, that you had to go through this, that he thought it would be fun, that he hurt you.” My words are coming out rapidly and my chest feels tight. “He thinks you’re just his for the taking and he can do whatever he wants to you. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t see how beautiful you are and what a fuckin' treasure you are. He doesn’t see you like I see you.”
She looks in my eyes and I feel the whole world shutting out around us. It’s me and her, just me and her.
“Lola, you are the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful person I’ve ever met. You are my entire world and I would literally die to protect you. I can’t let anyone hurt you, baby. Not ever,” I say, the sincerity in my words making my voice sound strong even though I feel kind of vulnerable pouring my heart out to her like this. “I can’t bear the thought of somebody touching you wrong or not being gentle with you. I have fuckin' reoccurring nightmares about people hurting you, especially in a sexual way, and I feel sick when I think about what Eric was trying to do.”
I’m teetering on the edge of telling her I love her, that I’ve always loved her and that I always will love her. I want to let it all go right now and explain that she’s everything I live for, but it’s too emotional, too intense. I can’t say it out loud. What if it freaks her out more? I have to keep it in for now. I’ll tell her soon, but not when she’s naked and crying in my lap.
She seems to notice that too and her arms come down and cover her boobs as she blushes. “I’m naked,” she sniffles and then giggles, “and I cried all over your shirt.”
“I don’t care, Lo,” I warmly reply with a wide smile. I pull her into me again and hold her, caressing her smooth, exposed back. “You wanna take a bath, baby? Something to help you relax?”
She nods and I kiss her forehead again. She slides off my lap and I go into the bathroom to run a bath for her. I pour in lots of bubble bath because I want her to feel like a princess all ensconced in suds and not have to think about what she’s just been through.
When I come back out, she’s in a bathrobe picking up the picture frames from the floor by the dresser.
“I’ll do that, Lo,” I say, ushering her to sit back down. “I’m sorry I knocked them all over like that.”
She doesn’t sit back down; she wraps her arms around me and curls into me. She’s so little and I have to lean my head down to fully embrace her. She’s not crying, but she’s taking slow deep breaths like she’s centering herself. I’ll hold her like this for as long as she wants, as long as it takes for her to feel better. I want to absolutely blanket her with my body, to envelop her and hold her close to my heart so I can protect her from all the bad shit in this world.
“Come on,” I say softly while kissing the top of her head. “You’ll feel better after you take a nice, warm bath.”
I hold her hand and lead her to the bathroom. The tubs in our apartments are small, so it doesn’t take long for it to fill up. I turn off the water and look to her. She’s peeled off her robe and she’s walking over to me. I try to concentrate on everything but the gorgeous beauty approaching me. She slinks into the bathtub and closes her eyes as if taking in the relaxing calm of the warm water. I turn to leave, assuming she might want some privacy.
“James,” she weakly calls to me.
“Uh-huh, babe?” I say, turning to her.
“Stay, ok?”
“Stay here in the bathroom?”
“Stay all night. Stay with me, please?”
“Of course I’ll stay with you, Lo,” I smile. In truth, I’m elated with the invite. I didn’t want to leave her by herself tonight anyway and I was planning to crash on the couch or convince her to sleep at my place so I could make her feel safe.
“Will you give me a back rub?” she asks sweetly turning in the tub so her back is to me.
Right now? She wants it right now? She wants me to put my hands on her while she’s naked in a bathtub? Her eyes might be puffy and her nose might be red from crying, but she’s still gorgeous and it’s going to take everything in me to not get turned on by this.
I sit down on the floor by the tub and place my hands on her wet shoulders. Her skin is warm and it’s so smooth. She’s got these three little beauty marks on the back of her neck that I always used to stare at when I gave her rides on the handlebars of my bike. They’re all lined up in a row like Orion’s belt. She has gorgeous, random little beauty marks in other places on her back and my mind starts making constellations out of them.
“Mmm,” she moans as I caress her shoulder blades.
Don’t get turned on right now! Don’t get turned on right now! Don’t get turned on right now!
“You should call in sick tomorrow,” I suggest in an effort to change the direction of my thoughts.
“I think I will,” she nods. “Wouldn’t want to see Eric at the elevators.”
“I want you to quit that job,” I interject, knowing it sounds like a demand. “I don’t want you to even be in the same building as that fucker.”
To my surprise, she doesn’t give me some sassy comment, doesn’t tell me to shut up and stop bossing her around.
“I do kind of want to quit,” she relents after a big sigh.
“I’ll take care of rent and bills for you. With the money from this Eva thing, I got you covered,” I explain. “You just get everything together and think about where you want to work instead of where you have to work, ok, baby?”
I hear her giggle softly. “Ok, James,” she accepts.
No argument there either. I’ve offered to pay down her credit cards or help her with bills a ton of times and she always tells me she’s an adult and she can take care of herself. We both grew up just below middle-income and we know how to be thrifty, but I’ve stashed some serious dollars and I could make it so she never has to work again. She’s always been majorly opposed to this idea and she’s usually very vocal about it. I’m glad that she’s letting it slide tonight.
“I feel a lot better,” she says after a short pause.
“Good,” I smile, sliding my hands off her shoulders. A wave comes over me and I can’t control myself as I lean over and kiss the back of her neck. She exhales and bends her head forward, so I kiss it again. I’m softly kissing from her hairline to the top of her spine over and over, slowly and sensually.
“Mmm, will you hand me a towel?” she sighs.
I stand and get her one, thankful for the distraction. When I turn around I swallow hard. Lola’s completely naked and dripping wet, standing up in the tub and looking right at me. Her intention seems innocent, but I’m sure she’s aware that this kind of shit turns me on big time. Her skin is so tan, her waist is so little and her tits are out there just waiting for me. I’m consciously willing my legs to stay put, but fuck! how I’d like to pull her out of that tub and fuck her on the bathroom floor right now! No, no! Forget it! I blink my eyes a few times and hand her the towel, which she wraps around herself.
“Thanks,” she says like this isn’t agonizingly tempting for me.
She puts toothpaste on her toothbrush and looks at me through the mirror as she brushes her teeth. She’s smiling, not in an inviting, sexual way, just her usual warm, general sweetness.
She finishes brushing her teeth and I reach out and grab her toothbrush from her little fingers and pop it in my mouth.
“Don’t mind if I use your toothbrush, do you?” I grin.
“Not that it matters now,” she giggles.
“Mine’s all the way back at my house,” I shrug.
She smiles and rolls her eyes at me through the mirror before she heads into the bedroom again.
When I come out, she’s standing by the dresser in her robe holding a picture frame in her hand. There’s a big crack through the glass and, as I get closer, I can see that it’s a picture of us. It’s from Halloween when we were really little. I’m dressed as Batman and she’s Catwoman. She’s got an adorable, cherubic smile on her face and I’m showcasing my gap-toothed grin from when I lost my left-front tooth.
“We got so sick off Snickers that night,” I chuckle, coming over to her.
“Oh, totally,” she laughs. “I remember thinking my mom was full of shit when she said that you could throw up from eating a pound of candy, but she definitely wasn’t wrong about that one.”
“You puked everywhere,” I tease.
“Yeah, that’s pretty accurate,” she giggles.
“Just, all over the place,” I spread my arms out to indicate the extent of it.
She laughs and her face looks happy again, like her usual, cheerful self.
“I’m glad I kissed you before that,” I chuckle.
While we were trick-or-treating that night, I told Lola I’d trade her four of my Snickers minis for two boxes of her Nerds and a kiss. She agreed and I gave her an innocent peck on the lips. That was the first time I ever thought of Lola as a girl instead of just as a best friend.
“That was my first kiss, you know?” she blushes.
“I kinda figured that,” I smile sweetly, “I mean, you were only, like, seven at the time.”
“True,” she giggles.
“I don’t know how any other guys could have ever compared to me, frankly,” I playfully boast.
“You’re a tough act to follow, James Laird,” she teases.
She’s smiling and her eyes have that sparkle again. She’s happy and she’s not letting herself dwell on the horrible stuff that piece of shit blonde-haired fucker put her through tonight. I want her to be happy like this forever. I never want her to feel sad or hurt again.
“I’m really glad you showed up tonight, James,” she says softly, stepping closer to me and looking into my eyes.
“I am too,” I say back. I feel like she can see into the core of my soul. “Otherwise I would have had to spend all day tomorrow tracking down Eric so I could murder him,” I joke.
She giggles. “Well, I’m glad homicide was avoided, then.”
“Me too. We both know I’m way too pretty to go to jail,” I grin.
She snickers and hugs me, but before I can embrace her, I find my lips on hers. I’m kissing her. I’m kissing Lola. And best of all, she’s kissing me back.
My thumb brushes along her jaw and my other hand slides down her shoulder as my lips gently caress hers. This has got to be the softest, most tender, sweetest and most perfect kiss of my entire life. I feel like this has been in the making since the day I met her all those years ago. She’s so fully in it, so incredibly free and willing, and it starts to get more passionate as she parts her lips and our tongues dance together. I never knew that just kissing could feel so intense.
She reaches up and drapes her arms over my shoulders. Instinctively, I lift her up and her ankles lock around me as we continue kissing. My hands roam down her back until I’m gripping her tight little ass. She presses her body against me as firmly as she can and I want her so fuckin’ bad. I deposit her on the bed, never breaking the passionate kiss. I’m lying on top of her, my body right between her legs and she’s only wearing a bathrobe, which has all but flown open by now.
I hear how fast she’s breathing as I kiss down her neck. My hand slides up and down her thigh as I guide it up alongside me. Fuck! She’s grinding up against me like this and I’m rock hard now. I’ve been picturing Lola whenever I need to get hard for scenes, but having her naked underneath me right now has given me a dick that could cut diamonds. Her pelvis rocks and I can feel the friction as my length presses against her. Her eyes close as she moans a little bit. She’s every bit as turned on as I am. I press into her a little more firmly and her lips part as she breathes faster. This feels so good to her that I don’t want to stop. I shift a little, making very subtle, nearly imperceptible motions with my pelvis.
She makes one of those little gasps and her hands run up my back, pulling me closer against her. I usually kiss her neck in situations like this. I did at Keegan’s party when I felt her tits, I did that time she let me finger her when I made her come, and I did recently when I went down on her. For some reason, kissing her for real always felt too intimate to me, like I’d fall head over heels for her if I did it. Of course, now that I am head over heels for her, I can kiss her as much as I want to. My mouth is on hers and my tongue darts into her mouth as I continue to rock against her.
She reaches for the bottom of my shirt, signaling that she wants me to take it off. I do it and then I lower myself onto her and kiss her some more. Her tongue is smooth and sensual in my mouth and I love the feeling of her soft lips. She’s an amazing kisser and I can’t believe I never tried this before with her.
Her body is so warm and smooth against me and I want her so much right now that I almost can’t believe it. I fuckin’ crave her. I’ve never felt like this with anyone in my entire life.
I slide down a little bit and kiss from her neck to the middle of her chest. She’s already breathing heavy and she makes one of those pretty moans when I run my tongue over her nipple. She really likes this, I know it from the times I’ve done it before, so I want to really get into it for her.
Her hips start rocking a little bit when I start sucking on her nipples. Her body gets so ready so fast. I remember being really impressed with her natural responses when I did this to her the first time. It’s like her impulses take over and her whole body gets primed to fuck, like she can’t fight the biology of it.
I move back up her body and I kiss her again before I look deep in her eyes. The arousal on her face … wow! She’s more turned on than I’ve ever seen her—or maybe any girl, for that matter.
I lick my fingers and slide my hand between her legs. She moans when I’ve just barely made contact with her clit and her eyes shut tight as I start rubbing her. That really gets her hips rocking and she’s panting while I keep going.
“So beautiful,” I whisper across her lips before I kiss her.
She moans against my mouth and deepens the kiss. She’s so into this and it’s got me so hot to see her this way.
“Mmm! Oh … James!” she says in a half moan, half whimper.
I can’t even describe how much I like hearing her say my name like that. I don’t think my name has ever sounded hotter than when it’s coming off the lips of the sexiest girl in the world while she’s on the verge of coming.
