Then there was Chad.

  It felt good having him back in my life, and whilst I loved him as my friend, I definitely wasn’t in love with him.

  I hadn’t lied to Chad about my feelings as it was important he knew where he stood from the start.

  For me, what we had was horny, uncomplicated fun with my friend, and nothing more.

  Still, as happy as I was, confusion hung over my head like a large grey cloud waiting to drench me.

  Doubts, thoughts and feelings whirled around my brain continuously. I felt dizzy, and one sunny afternoon, I decided I needed to talk to somebody who wouldn’t judge me for my behaviour.

  I jumped into my car and drove to the cemetery where my grandparents had been laid to rest a few years before. I still missed them like crazy—they’d always been there for me, and even though it would be a one-sided conversation, I knew they were listening.

  My grandparents were the only two people that knew about my real relationship with Chad, and although they probably didn’t understand, there was never any judgement from either one of them.

  “If you’re happy, then we’re happy,” my Nana would say, and without fail, Grandad would nod in agreement. “Sod everybody else, and if your Dad has a problem with any of it, send him to me and I’ll sort him out.”

  My parents never had a problem with any of it because I never told them, and don't intend to.

  Not long after, I met Jenna, and that side of my life was over and done with. Or so I thought.

  Anyway, back to Chad.

  Being with him made me feel like I was twenty-one all over again. It was exciting, and despite the responsibilities to my family, a part of me felt as carefree as I did whilst we were at University together.

  I was angry with myself because the carefree part of me craved the freedom the rest of me didn't want.

  Chad asked me if I considered myself bisexual, but it was something that never entered my conscious thoughts. Not back then, and certainly not now. He was the only guy I'd ever felt any form of sexual attraction to.

  I hated the term pansexual with a passion. To me, it was just another way of saying I’m a greedy bastard and want to fuck anyone and anything. The old adage of ‘any hole is a goal’ was never something I’d subscribed to.

  And yes, I was well aware the word greedy summed me up perfectly, but apart from Jenna and Chad, there were no others I desired that level of intimacy with.

  I shouldn’t desire intimacy with anybody but my wife.

  But I did. And I thought I knew the reason why.

  I had two very different kinds of sex with both Jenna and Chad.

  With Jenna, she’d taken on more of a dominant role in the bedroom, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t, and didn’t want to assert my masculinity with her.

  Just last night, she was naked across my knees as I slapped her peachy backside with a wooden spoon I’d hastily grabbed from the kitchen.

  I worried it would hurt her, but gentle taps were all it took, and a few minutes later, the familiar moans told me she was close to climaxing. At that point, I slapped her with the spoon that little bit harder and felt the shudders rack her body.

  Pre-cum oozed out of my cock and dribbled down onto the tiled floor.

  Jenna slipped off my knees, the faint flush to her cheeks made her look like a naughty schoolgirl caught in the act. I loved this new sense of sexual freedom we were exploring together.

  I didn’t have to ask her, but she got onto her hands and knees. Crawling sensually toward me again, like a panther stalking its prey, she opened her mouth and deep throated my fat, veiny cock.

  She didn’t stop sucking until I felt my spunk flood the back of her throat and even then, she wanted to carry on, but my orgasm was so intense, it left my cock feeling ultra-sensitive and I had to pull away. The sensations travelling the length and breadth of my body were immense.

  Sorry, I hadn’t meant to reminisce about that particular session, but my wife is so hot, it’s hard not to.

  Anyway, back onto Chad. The sex was mind-blowing. He is the dominant force and that's the way I like it. But, I’m under no illusion everything feels so good as it is heightened by the secrecy.

  Chapter Three

  I’d arranged another night away with Chad, but this time we decided to stay local.

  There didn’t seem much point in driving to different parts of the country as Jenna never objected to the increasing amounts of time Chad and I were spending together.

  It seemed as long as she was kept happy at home, I had the freedom to do as I wished—for the most part anyway.

  Chad’s ultimate fantasy was to fuck in front of an audience, and whilst it wasn’t high on my list of turn-ons, if it pleased him, then I was more than willing to give it a go.

  I had no idea where we would even do such a thing and hands down refused to go to a sauna for fear of being seen there.

  As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, my work had its fair share of gay guys and I couldn’t afford to be seen dong anything that could make me look dishonest. Plus, I had no desire for any of my staff to see Chad balls deep inside me.

  So, with a trip to a sauna vetoed, we found a local dogging spot online.

  Known locally as Coastal Way, I'd been there many times with my wife and kids on sunny days, but I'd had no idea what went on there once the sun went down. One thing I was certain of, I’d be reticent to visit with my family ever again.

  I called Chad to discuss the plans in advance.

  I won’t lie—I was shitting myself at the thought of having sex in front of an audience. It wasn’t the fact others were going to be watching as I was pounded senseless, but what if they got closer than I wanted them to?

  “What if they try and join in?” I asked Chad, nervously.

  He wasn’t at all worried – nothing ever seemed to faze him. “They can watch, but that’s it. Your ass is mine, Zane, and don’t forget it.”

  I loved it when he asserted his authority, and knew if somebody did overstep the mark, he would soon put them in their place.

  Still, I was nervous about the whole thing, but there wasn’t any chance of me backing out.

  *

  I was in the garden when the doorbell rang. Knowing who it was, I rushed inside.

  “I’ll get it,” Jenna shouted, beating me to it.

  “It’ll only be Chad,” I called out, my stomach fluttering.

  And I was right. It was him.

  I heard his sexy voice echo up the hallway and into the kitchen where I was just slugging a glass of cold water.

  “Come in,” I heard Jenna say.

  “Thank you,” he replied, as polite as ever.

  She led Chad up the hallway.

  “Hey buddy,” he said, smiling as he stepped into the spacious kitchen.

  He looked incredible—dark blue skinny jeans hugging his muscular thighs. And the white V-neck top accentuated his pecs and clung to his body in all the right places, namely his biceps. His blond hair pushed back by his designer sunglasses – his eyes sparkling. He looked sun kissed—like he’d just returned from sunnier climes.

  I felt my cock stir, but willed it to behave – there was no way I’d be able to hide the bulge if it betrayed me.

  “Hey,” I replied, feeling awkward, standing in front of my wife, and lover for the first time.

  “So where are you two gallivanting off to tonight?" she asked.

  Chad was quick to lie. "Just catching up with some old college friends in town and hitting the bars—come along if you want."

  Shit, I thought. What's he playing at?

  Jenna laughed. "I'll give it a miss if you don't mind—I've got some girlie time planned, and besides, I know what you guys get up to when you're together."

  Clever little bastard. He knew damn well she'd decline.

  My heart pounded as her words hung in the air. "Same old chats about Uni days," I added, quickly. "You'd be bored stiff."

  "I know,” she agreed. “So, what are you waiting for, get out of here and go have your fun.” She turned to face Chad, looking a little stern. "Don't let him get into any trouble - he’s a nightmare when he drinks too much."

  "Gotcha," Chad replied, as my heart pounded in my ears.

  Jenna winked, turned and kissed me on the lips. She stroked my face, her touch lingering. "Have fun, sweetheart. Me and the girls will see you tomorrow."

  "Okay, love," I replied. "I've got my phone if you need me."

  She hugged Chad and kissed him on the cheek, and we both left.

  Chapter Four

  I had to give my husband bonus points.

  Chad was sex personified and I totally understood the attraction.

  The man was quite simply gorgeous—a total Adonis. He wouldn’t look out of place in Vogue.

  Still, Zane was the only man for me, and even in my wildest fantasies, I've never considered being intimate sexually, or otherwise with another man.

  In my early twenties, sex with a woman had crossed my mind, albeit briefly, but I'm just not made that way.

  Sex with Zane fulfilled my every desire and I didn’t need anybody else.

  I spied from behind the curtains as Chad reversed out of our drive and his car disappeared out of sight.

  Then, I rushed over to my laptop, clicked the tracking app from a hidden folder on my external hard drive and logged in.

  It didn’t take long for the app’s GPS to tell me my husband's location. I'd give it an hour or so and see where they eventually settled, then I’d drive to wherever they were headed and find out for myself what they were up to.

  *

  I checked the GPS again, and was raring to go.

  Excited, I dropped the kids off at my parents’, just so I was prepared, then returned home to complete my transformation from blonde to brunette.

  Ellie had lent me a dark wig, and after a dramatic change in my make-up, to more darker tones, I struggled to recognise myself, and behind some stylish, oversized dark glasses, Zane wouldn't have a clue either.

  *

  A few hours later, I checked the GPS once more and it revealed Zane's location.

  Coastal Way.

  What the hell was he doing at the beach?

  I called at Ellie's on the way. I'd forgotten one important part of my spy mission.

  "Can I use your car for the evening?" I asked, as she eyed me suspiciously.

  "What's with the new look?" she asked, although she had lent me the wig in the first place.

  "I'll explain everything tomorrow, I promise." I winked at her.

  "Oh, on second thoughts, don't bother. Yuk!" she added.

  I knew she thought me and Zane were playing some weird role-playing game, and whilst not far from the truth, I didn't elaborate, happier to let her believe what she wanted.

  I jumped into her sporty BMW convertible, desperate to get there, intrigued to know what was going on.

  Maybe they were planning to hit the bars on the sea front?

  Whatever it was they were planning, I'd soon find out.

  It only took me fifteen minutes to get to Coastal Way and I decided to park in the visitor’s car park.

  As I was pulling in – I spotted Chad's car.

  I was beyond intrigued.

  Why had they parked here, rather than outside the bars I'd wrongly assumed they'd be drinking in?

  I looked in the rear-view mirror, making sure my make-up was perfect, adjusted the wig with a little tug, then even though the sun had set, slid the dark glasses on. My transformation was complete.

  I walked past Chad's car, but noticed a couple of other cars pulling up. One of the drivers, a portly man in his forties, exited his car, sped off on foot and disappeared into the woodland area at the top of the hill.

  With my curiosity piqued, I decided to follow. Watching my step, I pulled the phone from my pocket. I logged into the tracking app and soon enough, it betrayed Zane's location.

  He was definitely here, as the app pinpointed his location only feet away from me.

  I felt nervous, unsure what I would find as I made it, panting slightly, to the top of the hill.

  I made a mental note to get back to the gym.

  Spotting the guy I'd tailed disappear into a thicket, I rushed to follow him.

  I pushed my way through the thick trees, branches and bushes, cursing the high heels I was wearing, struggling to retain my balance on the uneven ground.

  Pushing through the foliage reminded me of Lucy Pevensie pushing through the wardrobe and stepping into Narnia for the first time. But, what I was seeing was very different to Lucy's first view, that much I was sure of.

  I gasped, and only just managed to conceal myself as heads turned to investigate the sound I unintentionally made.

  Zane had managed to shock me once before—as I watched from the wardrobe in the hotel room, but this was off the scale, and I felt my mouth gape at the sight before me.

  Chapter Five

  In a clearing, illuminated by spectators' mobile phones, my husband was naked, save for a jockstrap, and on his knees, with Chad screwing him from behind.

  My eyes wide open – I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

  Chad’s body was magnificent, and I found it hard to pull my focus away from his firm muscular arse. I could see sweat dripping down his back, glistening in the moonlight.

  I couldn't see Zane's face, but hearing his cries of pleasure brought my focus solely to my husband. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and knew he was lost in the moment.

  I should've been filled with rage at what I was witnessing, but I wasn't.

  Apart from increasing arousal, I was furious with myself for being aroused. I stood in silence, watching, transfixed, not wanting to avert my gaze.

  I caught a glimpse of a figure directly opposite me and wondered if he or she were filming the action?

  I should film it, I thought to myself. Then I can watch it when I get home.

  Great idea—I knew Zane would be out overnight and once home, I could watch it on our fifty-inch television and have some fun with myself.

  Turning the video camera on, I pointed my phone towards the action, filming my husband and his lover.

  The grunting sounds coming from the voyeurs around the clearing had a weird effect on me.

  Casting a sideways glance, I noticed a young guy, perhaps in his early twenties; shaved head, dressed in tracksuit and trainers, stood watching, his big hard cock firmly in hand.

  I watched as he watched, and a few minutes later, he grunted and splashed the fallen leaves with cum.

  I don’t know what took over me, but I had an overriding urge to follow him and lick his cock clean.

  I stayed where I was.

  He quickly stuffed his still hard cock into his tracksuit bottoms and disappeared into the night.

  I sidestepped to where the young guy was stood. Pointing my phone to the ground, I was turned on by the sight of his cum dripping off the leaves.

  My husband’s moans caught my attention again.

  I returned to filming Zane and Chad through the camera on my phone—what I wouldn't give to be lying there now with my husband slamming in and out of me.

  I needed to get a closer look and bravely, edged forward.

  Wow, I thought to myself, confident enough to move closer again to secure a better view. I didn't want to miss any of it.

  My husband, his lover and the perverts watching them fuck. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen.

  Something troubled me—if they were perverts for getting off on watching two people fucking, what did my presence there make me?

  One by one, they got what they came for. Their groans told me they'd cum before making their hasty exits. The clearing began to empty, until it was only me, my husband and lover, remaining.

  God, my husband can take a pounding, I thought, wondering what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of Chad's cock. It wasn't something I would ever act upon, but it was a horny thought and I couldn't lie to myself about that.

  I continued to watch until I heard Chad groan. He thrust forward like a wild animal then collapsed, exhausted, resting his head on my husband’s back.

  I stepped back carefully and concealed myself behind the tall bushes, suddenly worrying I would expose my own voyeuristic tendencies, but before I had chance to vanish into the night, three words stopped me in my tracks.

  "I love you," I heard him whisper.

  And my world came crashing down around me.

  Chapter Six

  I picked up the phone.

  “Morning,” I said, sounding cheerier than I felt.

  “Did you miss me?” Zane asked.

  “What do you think?” I replied. The words he wanted to hear I wouldn’t say.

  “I’ll be home later on this afternoon,” he said. “Chad and I have just ordered breakfast then we’re off to meet the guys again – a game of pool, or two.”

  Hearing my husband say Chad’s name angered me.

  “Okay, take your time and I’ll see you when you get home.”

  “Bye,” he said. “I love you.”

  Hearing him say it made my skin crawl.

  I wanted to stay in bed, wallow the day away and decide on the best course of action, but as I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, I had to give my head a shake.

  Jumping up and looking at myself in the dressing table mirror, I looked awful. Bloodshot eyes from hours of crying, made worse with the dark puffy bags underneath.

  I had to do something with myself or Zane would know instantly that something was wrong.

  I love you.

  Those three little words haunted me over the last twelve hours, and I couldn't shake them from my mind.

  Chad loved my husband.

  Did that mean Zane felt the same way?

  I didn't know what to think.

  I didn’t stay around to witness his response.

  How could I have been so stupid? I asked myself.

  If I'd told my husband when I discovered his affair, instead of behaving like a rampant bitch, maybe we could have put our marriage back on track and I wouldn’t be feeling this way.

  But now, there was no going back, not when feelings and emotions were involved.

 

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