I caught a glimpse of her through the windows, but she hadn’t yet seen me. She was in the kitchen, and as I spied on her, the guilt I felt almost crushed me – I loved her with my whole being, so why was Chad the one who pulled me out of my depression, and not her?

  Maybe I was a sexual deviant, and that side of things was all I needed to keep me happy in my marriage.

  I wondered if in some perverse way, being Chad’s bitch had saved our marriage. Or was I just trying to assuage my own guilt? I wasn’t entirely sure, but there was no rationalising my appalling behaviour, no matter how I dressed it up.

  I looked on as Jenna danced around the kitchen and couldn’t help smiling at how carefree and beautiful she was.

  I coughed to draw her attention and she finally spotted me. She smiled, the look of love radiating from her.

  “Are you going to come in and kiss me, or what?” she asked, playfully.

  I did as I was told and rushed in, taking my beautiful wife in my arms and kissing her tenderly. Even the terrible music didn’t bother me at that moment.

  We continued to kiss tenderly, but it wasn’t what she wanted, I knew that straight away.

  She kissed me with a forcefulness I’d never experienced from her before, and for that small moment in time, she felt entirely masculine in my arms.

  My body responded instantly, and I could feel my cock growing as she pressed her body against mine.

  “I’ve missed you,” she said, her lips still pressed to mine, I felt every syllable.

  I didn’t need to respond – she knew how I felt. No words were needed to convey my feelings for her, and she knew it.

  Jenna guided me to the kitchen table and relieved me of my clothes. Then, she stripped seductively for me, well aware how excited I was.

  My cock was oozing with pre-cum and she bent down and flicked her tongue over the tip of my cock to taste it.

  She pushed me back onto the table, the cold surface startling me a little. Before I knew it, I was lying flat on my back, my cock standing to attention. Seconds later, my stunning wife stood above me, legs either side of my hips.

  I was looking up at her pussy and she took me by surprise and performed a slow, but sultry slut drop, before rising again.

  “Oh, fuck,” I croaked, as she dropped again.

  She was teasing me, and taking control.

  “I know you like that,” she cooed.

  “Yeah,” I said, not taking my eyes off her for a moment.

  “I know you want your cock inside my cunt,” she said, teasing me some more.

  I made to get up, but she used her stilettoed foot to press me down again. She obviously wanted to keep me flat on my back.

  “I didn’t say you could move, did I?” It wasn’t a question. And I knew she was deadly serious.

  I looked up as she played with her own nipples, squeezing them gently. Her moans were driving me wild, and I was desperate to slide my cock up her and fill her with my seed.

  “I need you, Jenna.” I wanted her to know that so badly.

  She looked down at me, and like an athlete, she dropped, keeping perfect balance.

  The tip of my cock rubbed against her shaved pussy, and with one thrust, I could be inside her, but I knew she was the one in charge, so didn’t push my luck.

  “I know,” she replied, climbing down off me, leaving me stunned as to what she was thinking, or even planning on doing next.

  I didn’t know what to do at that moment, so I lifted myself up, but she approached and shoved me down again.

  Thank fuck. She wasn’t finished with me after all.

  “Tell me what you want me to do,” I offered.

  “I want to see you play with your cock.”

  I didn’t need to be told twice and gripped my thick cock tightly. I rolled the foreskin up and down, doing it faster and faster, then that feeling I always loved, knowing I was close to shooting.

  “Slow down,” she ordered and I did as I was told. “I want to see how long you can last.”

  She approached me again and played gently with my balls and I carried on wanking.

  “That’s nice, Baby,” I said, as my head rolled back, wanting to savour the moment.

  Then, she hit me with the biggest surprise of all, as she moved her fingers towards my hole. Jenna tickled around there for a few seconds, and bam, without warning, slid her fingers inside me, just like she had a few days ago.

  I gasped and tried to pull away.

  “Stay there,” she commanded. “Focus on your cock and leave me to focus on your hole,”

  I wondered what had come over her.

  Granted, we’d always had an amazing sex life, but this was like something out of a porn movie. I wasn’t going to complain as it felt amazing.

  I relaxed again, and let her do what she wanted to me.

  My hole was still tender from the butt plug and Chad’s cock, but I was insatiable and wanted whatever she had to give me.

  I was getting closer and closer and had to tell her. “I’m gonna cum, Jenna,” I moaned, and she pulled her fingers out and stepped back. “Can I cum?” I was asking for her permission.

  “Yes, but I want to watch,” she replied. “I love to watch.”

  End of Part One

  Part Two

  ‘Our Dirty Little Secrets’

  Prologue

  adjective: secret

  Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others.

  I’ve led a charmed life in many ways.

  But in other ways, I’ve been cursed by my own doing.

  If you’ve read She Loves to Watch Me Play, you’ll know I don’t always make the best decisions.

  Still, I can’t complain—they were my decisions and I had to live by them.

  Through it all, I never forgot the most important thing – family.

  Jenna is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, and you'll read more as the story unfolds, but marriage isn't supposed to be easy. Is it?

  Macy and Naya, my beautiful children. They bring me untold joy and waking up in the morning to their smiling faces starts my day off perfectly. Like any parent – I’d sacrifice my own life for my daughters.

  I have a fantastic career, doing what I love. And although it keeps me insanely busy, I’d miss it if it went away. At times I want to shout my frustrations from the rooftops, but my career allows my family to have a more than comfortable lifestyle.

  My wife and children are still, and always will be, the most precious people in my life. They are the centre of my universe, and that’s the reason I was initially unsure about writing these books.

  What would I say if any of my immediate or extended family ever realised who I was? How would they react?

  A mini nuclear explosion is probably underestimating certain people’s reactions.

  Still, the likelihood of any of them reading this is remote. I hope. But I’m not one hundred percent confident about it.

  Putting my story out there for the world to see wasn’t easy, and to this day, I can’t believe I had the courage to do it.

  Courage, or stupidity? You decide.

  I knew I was opening myself up to a torrent of abuse and yes, if you’re curious to know, the emails from disgusted readers did indeed pour in, but I knew there would be people who would condemn my actions.

  I opened up my life for the world to see, and their criticism is justified. Right?

  Well, yes.

  And no.

  As ‘Disgusted from Leeds’ said in a bluntly worded email:

  It's people like you that give the gay community a bad name.

  Or my favourite comment from Facebook Messenger.

  I hope you catch AIDS and die.

  I think ‘Disgusted from Leeds’ missed the point entirely. My story does not allude to any community whatsoever. It isn’t about my foray into homosexuality, but about my experiences, and represents a very small part of my life as a whole.

  With the above in mind, I wholeheartedly agree to a person's right to express their opinion, I also agree with the right to reply. ‘Disgusted from Leeds’ never gave me that option, but that is by the by. However, the mysterious Facebook keyboard warrior did get more than a strongly worded message in reply. I was swiftly blocked. I didn’t lose any sleep over it.

  I like to think the individuals berating me and accusing me of spreading all manner of sexually transmitted diseases, are in fact, some sort of modern day Saints – that rare person who has never made a single mistake in their entire life.

  Well, good for you is my reply. I wish I could have been perfect, but as much as I aspire to be, it won’t happen.

  Writing the first book was all part and parcel of allowing people into my world, even if it’s only a sneak peek. But, going forward, I hope people won’t continue to judge me so harshly.

  There are things I'll never tell – far too personal for me to reveal, or things I’ve been asked to keep private for one reason or another.

  I might say things during the series that cause offence, and yes, I might receive another torrent of abuse, but this is my story to tell, and for those criticising, would you be brave enough to tell yours, warts and all?

  If I were totally honest with you all, and this might be controversial—Chad saved my marriage, so I regret nothing, nor do I offer any apology.

  Saying he saved my marriage doesn’t come easily as the love I felt for Jenna has never died, and continues to grow stronger every day. I know I can speak for both my wife and I on that score.

  The children are still the apples of my eye, and I'm pleased to say, daddy's girls through and through.

  I sometimes watch as Jenna struggles with them. “Daddy do it,” they often say, and I know she doesn’t take it to heart, but it gets a little tiring when she has her own work to get on with and they are difficult to manage. It’s always the days Jenna has a limited amount of time they choose to act up.

  Anyway, as I was saying above, Chad saved my marriage, and I will never believe anything different.

  I was lost in my own world and didn’t know why. But, in a strange, roundabout sort of way, he showed me what I wanted, what I was in danger of losing and what I had to do to keep it.

  I opened my eyes every morning and had that sinking feeling, like any joy I felt was being leeched out of me, and for those readers that have experienced any form of depression, for a while, I lost the essence of myself, and wondered how, and where I'd lost sight of who I was.

  Chad forced me to take a long hard look at myself, but I wish I'd been able to find myself without breaking my vows.

  “I’d never cheat.” Yes, I spoke those immortal words, but I did cheat.

  I don’t believe it makes me a bad person, just human.

  Chapter One

  I laid a picnic blanket on the freshly mown lawn, taking advantage of the kids’ overnight stay at their grandparents’.

  My cock was already rock hard, pre-cum dribbling from my piss slit.

  I knelt at the side of Jenna's head and looked down as she took my throbbing cock in her hand, gripping it tightly. She looked up at me and gave me that knowing smile before teasing the tip of my cock with her tongue.

  Noticing a string of pre-cum stuck to her full pink lips, I reached forward and with my index finger, wiped it away and slowly slid the finger into my own mouth.

  “Naughty boy,” Jenna purred, finally wrapping her lips around my cock. Her mouth opened wide and seconds later the entire length of my cock disappeared down her throat. She retched just a little—her gagging only heightening my arousal.

  I loved the fact she struggled with my long, fat cock. The size of my cock was one of the reasons she’d been reluctant to perform oral sex on me, but over the last few weeks, she couldn’t get enough of it.

  Jenna could make me cum so easily, and once again, the familiar tingles started in my ball-sack as my hot load threatened to erupt.

  “I’m gonna cum,” I groaned, grabbing hold of my cock. “Where do you want it?”

  “Over my tits,” she said as I jumped up, ready to explode.

  Jenna pushed her breasts together.

  I couldn’t hold it any longer and dumped my load exactly where she wanted, shooting my thick white spunk all over her perfect breasts.

  I dropped to my knees and we both licked hungrily at the cum from her nipples. She loved it when I ate my own cum, but sharing it took things to another level. Once we'd finished, I clamped my mouth around her nipple, gripping it gently with my teeth, pulling slowly.

  "Bite them," she ordered. I did as I was told.

  I knew she liked it as the moans grew in volume and intensity. Jenna was able to make as much noise as she liked with no surrounding neighbours to worry about, and thankfully the gardener had left hours ago.

  I knew she was close and stopped what I was doing, captivated by her. I watched mesmerized as her fingers crawled down to her pussy.

  My cock was still hard as her fingers plunged in and out of her hole, then the familiar noises she made as she squirted almost made me shoot again, and I wasn’t even touching my cock.

  She lay on the grass, her naked body glistening in the sunlight.

  I couldn’t resist and buried my head between her legs, tasting her. Without hesitation, her legs parted wide for me and her eyes rolled back as she enjoyed my tongue deep inside her.

  Finally spent, we pulled the rug over ourselves and fell asleep, her body curved into mine. I don’t know how long we were there for, but I opened my eyes and the house and garden were in total darkness.

  The only light was cast from the moon and stars above.

  I kissed her neck gently, and she stirred, responding immediately.

  I was so horny – I had to take her again, there and then.

  Pulling her onto her knees, I slapped her bare behind gently.

  "Harder," she moaned, and who was I to refuse? I slapped her arse a few times. "That's nice, baby," she whispered.

  "You dirty fucking whore," I said, slapping her arse harder than before.

  "Fuck my arse," she said, and momentarily, I was shocked. She'd never asked that of me before. It had always been the most-taboo of fantasies. “Do it.”

  “No,” I replied, not wanting to hurt her.

  "Do it," she repeated, snapping at me.

  I was unsure, but really wanted to. It was too good an opportunity to turn down, I spat into the palm of my hand and used it to lube my cock.

  "Are you sure?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't change her mind.

  "Do it," was her only reply.

  I pushed the tip of my cock into her virgin arsehole and pushed gently until a few inches of my cock were inside her. Her arse clamped around me. I was so turned on, I lost control and shot my load, there and then. Selfishly, I didn't tell her I'd cum as I hadn't finished. I grinded my hips toward her, feeling the tightness around my cock.

  "Aaaarggghh," she moaned. “Slowly.”

  I pulled out slowly, not wanting to hurt her.

  “No, no,” she said.

  I wasn't intending on pulling my entire cock out—I just wanted to start off slowly. “Okay, baby. I’ll go slow.”

  I took my time for a few minutes, but her body was on fire, and I could tell by the movements she made, she wanted more.

  "Fuck me," she commanded. I pushed into her once more and to my surprise, she pushed back against me until my hard cock was fully inside her. "Just stay there and don't move," she ordered. "Let me get used to it."

  I did as she asked and allowed her to take control, then slowly, she began to grind her arse against me, her hole became accustomed to my cock.

  "Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

  She didn't answer, but let out a moan that told me how much she was turned on.

  My cock was rigid—solid as marble.

  "Fuck me," she commanded.

  I thrust forward as she pushed back, my balls slapping against her. I struggled to maintain control and could easily have shot my load again, but I held off as long as I could.

  I grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back. She groaned as every inch of me was buried inside.

  “Give it to me,” she pleaded. "Harder."

  "I love you," I panted, getting closer.

  "I love you too, Zane," she replied, slamming back against my cock.

  "I'm gonna cum," I moaned, my body shuddering.

  I was balls deep, keeping tight hold of her hips as I emptied my load inside her.

  Chapter Two

  I felt better than I had in a long time, but the phrase, cake and eat it, reverberated around my brain.

  The selfish side of me was still in there screaming to get out, but I had no idea how to put my life back into order.

  The weeks zoomed by and I struggled to keep my emotions in check. It felt like I was trapped on a non-stop rollercoaster ride of lies and deceit.

  The truth was forever on the tip of my tongue, ready to drop, but I thought about how much pain the truth could cause.

  So, in the end, I stayed silent, but what other choice did I have? The last thing I wanted was Jenna finding out anything and having her world ripped to shreds.

  When I was with Jenna, I felt content and was the happiest I’d ever been in my marriage, but God was on one shoulder, and the Devil, sitting like the weight of the world, firmly on the other. Two parts of my conscience in constant battle.

  What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, the evil part of me said, whilst the good side kept prodding me to own up in the hope my marriage could somehow be salvaged.

  I was deceiving the people who mattered to me the most, and I rationalised I had no right to feel any form of happiness.

  I was married to the most amazing woman and my children filled me with undeniable joy. Nothing and nobody in this world would make me walk away from them.

 

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