My Husband and I Sleep in a Coffin Vol. 1, page 12
“This is Mu Si.”
“This is Mu Wu.”
“This is…”
After that series of introductions, with ten tomb-guardian monsters all pointed out, Wen Fengjin smiled and said, “Aren’t they adorable?”
The crew of weird monsters all laughed together, which sounded like a cacophony of howling and cackling.
“…Mmhm, super cute,” Wang Xiaomie said. They’d have no problem getting enough participants for a “scariest monster” ranking list.
Wen Fengjin gently patted his head. “Make sure to bring them along when you walk around the mausoleum, understand? The location of this place is ultimately not known to us alone, and the number of grave robbers is irritatingly high, so you must be careful not to let yourself get hurt.”
Bring them along? Do I have them walk ahead of me while I hold on to a rope? Bro, are you aiming for a dog walk or a Hyakki Yagyou demon parade?! What do you think those grave robbers are gonna say when they see this big ol’ family? Huh?!
Wang Xiaomie gazed expressionlessly at the terrifying family before him, and they gazed eagerly back at him in turn. “Sorry, they’re too ugly for me.”
When this big ol’ gang of tomb guardians starts crying like this, they actually sound kinda pitiful… As if! It’s like a flood of unnatural noise pouring into my ears! Fuck!
He asked, “…Could we dial it back a little?”
The gang seemed to say, No way, Master’s watching!
He looked up to see Wen Fengjin smiling cheerfully—he was watching right there by his side, see? “Xiao-Wenzi…”
“Hm?”
“Giddyup!”
That day, Wang Xiaomie not only rode around a good half of the mausoleum on the back of a Xiao-Wenzi so gloomy there were storm clouds above his head, but also got to walk ten monsters from out of a horror flick.
Having found a way to entertain himself, Wang Xiaomie picked up the habit of having to take a stroll around the tomb before going to bed every night. After ten days of this, Wen Fengjin had even lost weight (cough).
But it lead to him discovering an interesting phenomenon: big lizard Mu Yi and big mushroom Mu San seemed to have some bad blood between them. Every time they went on a stroll, Mu Yi would always crawl on the ceiling or wall of the tomb corridor, then sneakily spit at Mu San. Mu San impassively endured each shot—but Mu Yi would then laugh at his silence, which would anger the mushroom-like Mu San enough that he’d begin secreting corrosive sticky liquid, which in turn was hot enough that Mu Er and Mu Wu, beside him, would start howling in distress…
This is making me feel like I’m watching a gosh-dang troublemaking husky!
“Don’t pay them any mind. Mu Yi and Mu San were at odds even in their previous lives,” Wen Fengjin said quietly as he carried Wang Xiaomie on his back, sweeping his gaze over the two in front of them.
Mu Yi whined as he fell from the wall and obediently started walking, while Mu San stopped secreting acid.
The group of terrible monsters, who wielded such awe-inducing power within the gloomy tomb and scared countless people to tears with their inhuman visages, now shuffled obediently forward like kicked puppies.
Amused, Wang Xiaomie chose this moment to tease Wen Fengjin. “Dad, you’re being too hard on the children.”
Wen Fengjin was thrown off by this, eyes widening in bewilderment. “What did you just call me?”
Wang Xiaomie couldn’t fully see Wen Fengjin’s face from up on his back. He said, with a laugh, “Dad! I mean, don’t you think the two of us plus all of them is kinda like a family of three…no, of twelve? With a loving mother and a stern father?”
Wen Fengjin didn’t respond for quite a long time, nor did he take another step forward. When the big monsters ahead all turned back to look curiously at them, Wang Xiaomie tilted his head and leaned over to try to see the look on Wen Fengjin’s face. “What’s wrong, Xiao-Wenzi?”
“Nothing.” Wen Fengjin seemed to have suddenly regained his senses. He hefted Wang Xiaomie up on his back before silently continuing to walk.
“Fengjin? Seriously, what is it?”
“It’s nothing, Xiaomie…”
“Hm?”
“Or should I say…Mom…”
That husky, laughing voice gently brushed across Wang Xiaomie’s senses, instantly turning his face red and plunging the air into silence once more, though this time the silence was a sweet one.
When they returned to the towering platform, Wang Xiaomie and Wen Fengjin climbed into their casket together. The two of them lay there, neither of them sleeping. This time, Wang Xiaomie didn’t casually reach over, making the near-imperceptible sound of Wen Fengjin’s lone breathing sound infinitely louder than usual. The blazing scarlet peach flowers of the blooming tree above could be seen from within the open casket.
A somewhat cold and bony hand gently covered Wang Xiaomie’s.
“You—”
“You—”
The two of them turned their heads to look at each other. Something dense and sweet poured into their surroundings like so much malt sugar—cloying, and difficult to breathe in…
Wen Fengjin suddenly smiled. His delicate, handsome, somewhat wicked face now totally tranquil, he moved closer with a heavy-lidded gaze, and Wang Xiaomie shut his eyes, waiting quietly.
Those pale pink lips finally touched…
What sort of feeling was that, you ask?
The kiss started with a tongue invading his mouth. Once gentle, the man became like a starving animal when he received permission to proceed, his tongue powerfully thrusting as he hurriedly pressed himself flush against Wang Xiaomie’s lower belly and started tearing at his clothes.
A pale, soft chest and a wedding dress spread out against the casket floor. The red and white made a distinctive contrast as the two of them tore at each other with rushed kisses.
The man above him hurriedly panted as Wang Xiaomie was compelled to lift his chest and submit to having the pale-pink nubs on it pinched and rubbed. Wen Fengjin’s other hand held tight the back of his head, entangling their tongues with a seemingly bottomless hunger, pulling and licking at each other, clear spit sliding from mouth to neck.
When they separated enough to swallow, a glittering and translucent strand hung between them, tying them inseparably together until—not waiting for it to break on its own—it was snapped by their next impatient kiss. They didn’t need to breathe, but Wen Fengjin’s ruthless power, and the way he licked at the roof of his mouth as if wanting to rip him apart, made Wang Xiaomie involuntarily sob. That burning gaze gave him the impression that he’d already been pressed against the floor, compelled not only to open his body but also to wantonly scream and beg for more.
Even so, the man above him was going to violate him without the slightest mercy.
“Oomph—”
There was more spit than he could swallow, and his tongue hurt a lot too; Wang Xiaomie was close to tears when he was finally let go, and the man above him moved to kneel with legs on either side of his waist.
The naked Wang Xiaomie pressed his legs together as intense pleasure travelled from the tips of his toes to that hardened place, burning its way up his pinch-reddened chest to his neck, and searing hotly at the back of his ears.
Beneath the immortal tree, Wang Xiaomie—in possession of a humanlike sense of touch—chewed on his fingers as the man above him took hold of his member.
“Fengjin…”
“Don’t worry, leave it to me… It’s beautiful, not the slightest bit shameful…”
“Mn…”
The stimulation of that chilly hand made him want to shiver, but once those fingers wrapped around his shaft and began slowly stroking it, Wang Xiaomie instantly stopped breathing, biting his arm as he narrowed tear-filled eyes. The man bent over him like a powerful beast of prey, one hand lazily stroking his manhood. He ran one nail over the tip and covered the opening, only to let go when Wang Xiaomie was about to arch his back in an attempt to thrust upward.
At his dissatisfied thrusting, Wen Fengjin let out a low laugh before taking a nipple into his mouth, pressing against the little nub and slowly circling it with his tongue. The little thing instantly turned hard as a pebble, leaning this way and that with the tongue’s motions as its owner whimpered ingratiatingly.
After sucking at it like a teat until it swelled, Wen Fengjin licked his lips, his odd eyes flashing with light. The red mark on the brow of his beautiful, feminine face made him look terrifyingly and devilishly seductive. Slick wet lips approached Wang Xiaomie’s evasive, teary eyes and drank those in as well.
“It aches, don’t touch my eyes—aaahh—!”
The large hand busy with his member suddenly quickened its pace. The wetness coming from his shaft acted as lubricant, and the movements made sticky, slapping noises. He let out a low cry and quickly started biting his arm again, abruptly arching his back high with hurried breaths.
When he climaxed, he was unable to form any words at all. All he could do was tense his body and stretch upward with everything he had, eyes wide and mouth open as he was taken over by that virus called pleasure—a feeling powerful enough to make him spasm. In the instant his genitals shot their load, the electric jolt of it made his entire body go numb.
It was here that Wen Fengjin bit down on his greatest weakness—the back of his ear—and started sucking on it with great force. Wang Xiaomie’s eyes were as wide as they could possibly get, tears quickly welling up at the corners as he spasmed, gasping desperately despite the fact he wasn’t in need of oxygen. He had the pressing feeling that his very soul was about to get sucked away…
He was brought to the highest point, then weakly fell back down again, finally recovering his senses after a very long climax. He watched through blurry tears as the man kneeling over him took a moment to adjust his position. And then slowly began to untie his belt.
The great red robe came down, and Wen Fengjin tugged off his jade crown. His long raven locks fell over his wide, well-muscled back as he quirked his lips, casting a sidelong glance from that sinfully handsome face.
His pants were pulled down low, causing a certain something to jump excitedly out and point at Wang Xiaomie’s lips.
“Lick,” he said. “I’ll hurt you if I go in like this. Won’t you wet it for me?”
Wang Xiaomie’s narrow chest rose and fell, his mind in a haze of passion as he partially propped himself on his elbows and lifted his head to take Wen Fengjin’s member into his mouth, carefully giving it a shy, inexperienced kiss.
The man above him grunted, then gave his hair a hard tug.
Wang Xiaomie wasn’t frightened, only embarrassed, as he gazed at the large, ferocious fellow before him. Then he stuck out the pink tip of his tongue to give it a lick.
The grip on his hair grew even tighter.
Wang Xiaomie smiled to himself, purposely stretching out his tongue to touch those dangling balls, then quickly licking a straight line from root to tip…
“Do you want me to thrust into your mouth?” asked a hoarse and somewhat angry voice. Wen Fengjin, his expression colored with burning lust, grabbed hold of him and then thrust himself into Wang Xiaomie’s mouth as threatened, ruthlessly ramming once against his tongue and throat.
Wang Xiaomie immediately gagged, tears forming in his eyes and his throat burning with pain. This time, he didn’t dare play games. His mouth enveloped that long pole, and he slowly swallowed as he clumsily polished it with his tongue. The man above him just as slowly pressed Wang Xiaomie’s head into his crotch, thrusting into his mouth at a much more gentle pace. His pubic hair brushed against Wang Xiaomie’s face, making him unable to suppress his excitement. Spit began trickling from his busy mouth, the rod now soaking wet from his caresses. Finally, Wen Fengjin stopped moving, and pulled out as Wang Xiaomie panted for breath.
It was time for his other mouth to take a turn.
Wang Xiaomie was pinned forcefully against the wall of the casket, his legs propped up against Wen Fengjin’s shoulders. Wen Fengjin’s fingers were already inserted and playing with his opening. He bit down on his lips, constantly trying to evade the other man’s gaze, even with his pallid face now completely red.
“Don’t look away… Look at me… Turn around…”
As Wen Fengjin gave this command, he bent down, pulled out his fingers, and pressed his burning rod against the opening instead. He then breathed out against Wang Xiaomie’s ear, smiling as he said, “Watch how I fuck you, hm? Will you? Having you watch will excite me all the more. Unless you don’t want me to enter your body with even more force, and then…”
Did he not want that? Not only did the shameless talk fail to soften him, but his spent member falteringly spat out more liquid in an attempt to rise again.
“Pfft, hahaha, Shixiong is so cute—I’ll satisfy you right now, okay? Let Fengjin rail you until you break. If Shixiong can’t persevere any longer… then just cry out for me…”
“Don’t—don’t say any more—” Wang Xiaomie cried as he watched his own ass gradually swallow the man’s length. As if playing a mean prank, Wen Fengjin got halfway in before suddenly raising his head, immediately catching sight of Wang Xiaomie’s pleasure-drowned face.
Heh, this is so humiliating. I might as well die and end it all right now.
The man above him laughed loudly before finally penetrating him to the hilt. Wang Xiaomie shuddered from head to toe.
Now that he was inside, Wen Fengjin’s expression became excited. The light in his eyes, and the way he looked like a wild beast let loose from its cage, made Wang Xiaomie tremble all the harder. “I-if I call your name, will you really stop?”
“I will…”
This answer was accompanied by a frenzied, breakneck thrusting, with him pulling forcefully free each time before stabbing all the way back in with a wet noise. With Wang Xiaomie’s legs on his shoulders, Wen Fengjin pressed his head down to make him watch as he was fucked to tears by that hard rod turned black with blood, each thrust quickly slapping against his buttocks and lower abdomen.
The slapping and splurting noises continued without cease. Wang Xiaomie was so lost in pleasure that his hands were fisting in the clothes beneath them, gasping out puffs of hot air as he moaned wantonly. The gland buried deep in his lower entrance sent out enough pleasure to kill him, pleasure more intoxicating than any alcohol or drug. He’d already lost all dignity and shame, the folds of his ass stretched as far as they could possibly go. The intense pace at which he was being fucked pulled out his soft inner flesh before pushing it back in again.
Wang Xiaomie gave a sticky moan. Being so satisfied during his first time made him lose his mind with passion.
Half an hour later, Wen Fengjin came inside him. The man pumping his seed into Wang Xiaomie laughed as he climaxed, then thrust into him once more.
“…?! You—”
“Don’t worry. As I said, if you get scared, just tell me and I’ll stop.” The man deceived him with these words, then covered his mouth before he could react. “I’m telling the truth—if I hurt you, all you have to do is call my name…”
Wang Xiaomie, whose mouth was covered, made a muffled noise. “…Mmph!”
An even more powerful thrust! Wang Xiaomie was ruthlessly shoved right into the wooden wall of the casket. The wolf in sheep’s clothing revealed his true fearsome face and fucked him until he was tearfully crying an endless series of muffled wails, his ass and buttocks completely red. I’m going to die, wah, I’m gonna die—let me go, I’m begging you—
The intense slapping of bodies and the stimulation of watching himself get penetrated made Wang Xiaomie sob weakly as he screamed. Wen Fengjin parted his legs, his thick rod drawing out the liquid secreted by Wang Xiaomie’s inner walls and spraying it all over their clothes.
Finally, they reached a point where Wang Xiaomie was staring blankly at nothing as his body swayed along with his partner’s ramming movements. He no longer knew how much time had passed.
Wen Fengjin pulled out his still-twitching length, and came onto his face. “Does it taste good?”
The man chuckled. Those flashing red eyes seemed to force their way into his line of vision.
“If Shixiong doesn’t say anything, then that must mean he hasn’t eaten his fill. I’ll just have to feed Shixiong one more time…”
“Mmph!”
Chapter 23:
Red Bean Rice
WANG XIAOMIE LAY spread-eagled in his coffin, gazing at the carved and colored images of auspicious clouds on its inner walls with a blank look in his eyes. He hadn’t even found time to put on his clothes: His little zongzi was bared to the world.
Large swathes of strawberry-colored marks ran from behind his ears to the tips of his toes, like a full-body tattoo.
Wang Xiaomie thought: …I’m practically zongzi-disabled now.
The culprit, meanwhile, sat on the edge of the casket with his back to Wang Xiaomie—blazing-red clothes wrapped around his lower half, his sturdy back and envy-inducing hourglass waist exposed, his black hair dark as ink. He was currently humming a tune to himself, tapping a rhythm against the casket as he sat. To put it simply—he was in an explosively good mood.
Just look at how he, Wang Xiaomie, lay dumbly there, like his body had been hollowed out. And then look at the guy over there, who felt not the slightest twinge of back pain or anything like it, looking so triumphant his metaphorical tail was practically arched in the air with pride!
Wang Xiaomie felt a tiny ember of something called jealousy light up within his heart. He gritted his teeth and called out, “Xiao-Wenzi…”
“Hm?” Wen Fengjin looked back at him. The dazzling smile on his face nearly blinded Wang Xiaomie.
