Complement, page 1
part #3 of Connectivity Series
Complement
Copyright © 2019 by Whitney Cannon
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or in any means – by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise – without prior written permission, except in the case of the brief quotations embodied in the critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
Published by Whitney Cannon
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All products and/or brand names mentioned are registered trademarks of their respective holders/companies.
First Edition, March 2019
-Acknowledgments-
This book has meant so much to me. When I first thought of the idea of to include a main character who was transgender, I loved the idea but was leary about doing the character justice. I wasn’t sure if I could write an authentic experience and didn’t want to attempt something that would have the potential to offend anyone who is transgender. I wanted my story to feel real, albeit with a fantasy twist, but I wanted my character’s story to be believable, a real, honest experience, that someone who is trans or queer or fits anywhere on LGBT+ spectrum could relate to. I, myself, found this story to be deeply personal and moving in a way neither of my first two books were for me. I wanted this book to enlighten, to educate, to encompass a truth about one trans experience, even if it is fictitious. The life created in these pages may not actually exist, but the experience represented, is.
From hours upon hours of research, personal interviews, first hand accounts, and testimonials, I feel I have created an honest and heartfelt story that I am incredibly proud of. I hope you, as a reader, find enjoyment, compassion, and sincerity in these pages.
And to any of you who may read this and are living your truth, your strength and courage to be who you are, humble me. I hope I have done my characters justice in your eyes.
Adrian. You, my friend, have been instrumental in the success of this book. Not only did you reach out to me when I was looking for people who would be willing to share their stories, but you were open, honest, extremely upfront, and with me every time I was looking for answers. You are such an amazing person and I couldn’t be more grateful to you for all your help, guidance, and candor. When we first connected and I learned just exactly what you were dealing with, I found myself in complete amazement of you. You are remarkable in your drive, self-assurance, and determination and it’s truly inspiring to know you. Furthermore, you came through for me when I asked if you would be willing to be on my cover. I’m honored to feature you and T and I’m so thankful for the twenty minutes we spent freezing our butts off to get this amazing picture. Thank you for being the incredible person you are and for being willing to share such an intimate part of your life with me. I am so fortunate to call you a friend.
Leo. Once again, I find myself thankful for your assistance. You have, in one way or another, been with me throughout my journey of publishing my first book series. From posing on my first book cover and opening up to me about yourself, to helping me with the last book in my series, you have been so willing to put yourself out there. I appreciate you more than you know and am grateful to you for sharing this part of yourself with me.
Devin. Although we’ve never met and probably never will, I’d like to thank you for the part you have played in helping me with my book. Your insights were particularly helpful and I’m actually kind of in awe of you. Although you may not have the type of support found in these pages or in the lives of the others I’ve spoken with, you know who you are and you are fighting to become that person, even with all you face in your daily life. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in the future and I thank you for all your help with my story.
-Table of Contents-
-Acknowledgments-
-Table of Contents-
-Prologue-
-I-
-II-
-III-
-IV-
-V-
-VI-
-VII-
-VIII-
-IX-
-X-
-XI-
-XII-
-XIII-
-XIV-
-XV-
-XVI-
-XVII-
-Epilogue-
-About the Author-
-More Books by Whitney Cannon-
-Prologue-
If this was what heartbreak felt like, maybe he deserved to wallow in it for a while. How could things have turned out like that?
Nick had been hating himself for months now, but in this moment, he felt like the lowest of the low, if it were even possible to feel worse than before.
He dashed a single tear off his cheek as he walked down the path toward his car in the parking lot.
He’d invited his presumably ex-best friend and his new husband to a lunch they hadn’t even eaten to apologize again for the way he’d treated them over the last several weeks, and every memory and look and word exchanged between them flashed through his mind again. They’d been running on a loop for weeks.
How could things have turned out so badly?
He’d been best friends with Cory since they’d both started high school four years ago. There was just something about Cory’s personality that had drawn Nick in all those years ago, and it hurt like a bitch to know he was losing that. Their friendship had been the foundation of every moment of his high school career. They’d been attached at the hip, gone everywhere together, and been on the baseball team together.
Of course, they’d known each other since they were younger, having always revolved around the little league world, but they hadn’t gone to the same elementary or middle school together, and they’d only hit it off when they’d both had classes together at the joint high school. But ever since freshman year, Cory had been a part of so many of Nick’s biggest moments and memories.
For years, things had been purely platonic between them and just two guys hanging out and being buddies. When Cory had come out to him as gay between sophomore and junior year, Nick had been totally fine with it. He’d been so consumed with Cory and their friendship, that it hadn’t really mattered to Nick if Cory liked boys or not. Secretly, he’d almost hoped Cory had liked him and that was why they’d been so close, but Nick wouldn’t have acted on anything since he’d never been interested in Cory in that way. It had just been a nice thought to keep in the back of his mind, that his best bud might’ve had a tiny crush on him.
When time had marched on, though, and their friendship had never changed, Nick had shrugged it off, but couldn’t help looking at Cory a little differently. He’d admired his friend for his bravery and for sticking to his own truth. He’d never taken any crap or taunts from anyone, on or off the baseball field, and most especially when it had come to his personal life.
But as Nick walked away from the best friendship he'd ever had, everything had changed. Cory had gotten married. At age eighteen, three weeks after graduating high school, he’d gotten married to his boyfriend, Josh, whom he’d only known for a few weeks.
Nick could hardly wrap his head around it.
How were Cory or Josh’s parents okay with them getting married so quickly? It just didn’t fit or make any sense.
And more than that, Nick was left to sort out his feeling and thoughts on his own. He no longer had the support system he’d had in his best friend. They used to bounce everything off each other. They’d call, text, or visit each other a lot. Cory had been Nick’s rock for so long he hardly had any idea how to proceed alone anymore.
When Cory had gotten hurt at their baseball game so many weeks ago, Nick had been beside himself. He’d managed to keep it together in front of everyone at the game, but as soon as the ump had called the game and Nick had made it to his car, he’d panicked. He’d clutched the steering wheel and cried, heaving out sobs for his friend and replaying the moment Cory had been struck by the ball, over and over again in his head. Seeing his best friend fall to the ground had been one of the scariest moments in Nick’s life. Not only had he been terrified for Cory, but his own reaction to seeing his friend go down had freaked him out a little bit as well.
Was it normal for close friends to react so deeply and emotionally to seeing their buddy get injured? He’d known they were close and he’d been a little protective of Cory over the years, but he hadn’t thought he should have freaked out quite so badly.
The four days that had followed Cory’s accident had been the longest of Nick’s life and had left him more than enough time to think.
Only, when his mind had come to the same conclusion over and over again, he’d been astounded at the thought.
The only explanation Nick had been able to come up with over his reaction to Cory’s injury had been that he felt more for Cory than simple friendship. Over the years, somehow, he’d grown to care more for Cory than normal best friends would care for each other.
The more he’d thought about it and worried and fretted, the more those thoughts had begun to make sense.
He’d always held Cory apart from his other friends, always looked up to him for his bravery and take-no-crap attitu de. They’d been so close and when Cory had come out to him, Nick had secretly hoped Cory might’ve actually liked him. He’d been unreasonably disappointed when their friendship had simply gone on as before like nothing had ever happened. And over the years, Cory had never had a boyfriend, while Nick had expectantly occupied himself with a few girls to keep up appearance.
He’d never really been into any of the girls he’d dated. Sure, they’d been generically pretty and popular, and since he was the captain of their baseball team, it had only made sense that he’d date the most eligible girls at their school.
But he’d much preferred his time with his buddies, and more specifically, Cory. They’d just gotten each other, and Nick had liked to think they’d had a pretty great bromance.
But when Cory had texted him after his accident to see if Nick would be home for lunch so he could stop by, he’d been unreasonably anxious and nervous to see his best friend. He’d had so little information about how Cory had been doing that Nick needed to see his buddy with his own eyes to verify that he was alright.
Then Cory had been there, on his doorstep, and it had been all Nick could do not to hide him away from the world and keep him for himself. Nick had all but wanted to confess his thoughts and feelings right there on his doorstep, lay his cards on the line, but much to his surprise, his best friend had shown up with another guy. And not just any other guy, but a boyfriend.
Nick had been shocked.
He’d been so overwhelmed with Cory’s accident and all of his own wandering thoughts over that long weekend, that he’d just never even considered, in all their years together, that Cory could or would ever have a boyfriend. Cory had always been Nick’s. Not in a possessive way, but in their closeness and his own admiration of the man. Cory’s sudden declaration and Josh’s proximity to his best friend had just seemed so out of the blue that Nick had reacted badly.
Instead of being happy for his best friend, that he’d finally found someone to be with, Nick had been pissed that he’d somehow missed his window of opportunity to talk to Cory and explain all the thoughts and feelings roaming around inside his head. So, he’d stormed off and stewed. He’d basically taken to pouting, and when he’d seen Cory and Josh holding hands as they’d left his house, he’d only gotten more worked up.
Having little to no communication with Cory, Nick had grown frustrated. He’d stopped by Cory’s house the next day to try to talk to him, only to be confronted with the happy couple and their hand-holding. Of course, Cory had called him out on his attitude. Cory’s take-no-crap knack for confrontation was one of the qualities Nick had admired most about his friend, but when the tables had turned and he was the one under Cory’s scrutiny, it left Nick feeling attacked and unwelcomed. So he’d fought back and turned the pressure onto Josh. No one had taken kindly to that. Nick had been all but thrown out of Cory’s house, something he’d never thought would happen.
But what had really raked his hide, was how everyone had been so in defense of Josh and hadn’t seemed at all concerned that apparently neither Cory nor Josh were attending school any longer and had no intention of returning.
Nick’s entire world had begun to crumble down, one blow at a time. They’d been weeks away from graduation and everything that Nick had held close, had changed.
Nick had hardly been able to process what had happened to his life.
Most of his buddies had been harassing him over his attitude toward Cory and his new boyfriend, so they’d all begun to ostracize him as well, and that had not been how he’d planned on spending the last few weeks of his senior year in high school.
When prom had rolled around and he’d still not talked with Cory, he’d been thankful that Cory had been willing to at least hear him out. Although, his insistence that Josh needed to stay close had still hit a nerve.
He’d thought that once he’d gotten Cory alone, that he could convince him to move away from the party and off the terrace so he could confess his feelings in private, and sure it had been shitty to put Cory on the spot like that, but he’d just needed to air out his thoughts and get those things off his chest. What he hadn’t expected was that Cory would shut him down again, claiming that he needed to be near Josh, and Nick had simply lost it.
He’d gotten so frustrated with the situation and with Cory for not even being willing to be apart from Josh for a few minutes, that he’d taken matters into his own hands and forced the issue. He’d physically manhandled Cory into leaving with him. And Nick hated himself for that. He’d used his size to his advantage and forced Cory off the terrace.
Those moments would be etched into Nick’s brain for the rest of his life.
When Cory had tried to fight him off and eventually passed out, Nick had freaked. He’d scared his best friend so badly that he’d actually made the guy pass out. But, instead of taking Cory back to the party, Nick had carefully scooped him up and taken him over to a little enclosed patio and rested him in a chair. When Cory still hadn’t woken up a few moments later, Nick had totally panicked. He’d begun pacing circles in the small space trying to figure out what to do when all hell had broken loose.
His buddies had been on him in seconds; they’d been livid. Nick had never seen his buddy Travis in all his fury before and it had shocked him to back off in the face of it. The others had been checking Cory over, but once Josh had come barreling through the opening of the patio, Nick would never forget the look of complete and utter terror on his face. Josh had been beyond panicked; he’d been inconsolable.
And Nick had done that.
Nick had put everyone in that position, and he’d hated himself for it. He’d left without argument and had barely shown his face around school after that.
He’d known he wouldn’t receive a warm welcome at the end of the season baseball banquet, but he’d quietly said his piece in front of more people than he’d have liked and had finally gotten it off his chest.
Only, Cory dealt him the final blow by announcing that he and Josh had gotten engaged and were planning to be married in just a few weeks.
So, he’d packed himself up and hidden away, hardly recognizing his own life from what it had been just weeks before.
After the wedding, Nick had done his part. He’d invited Cory and Josh to lunch and apologized one last time.
And as he climbed into his car at The Brew House, not even having the lunch he’d invited Cory and Josh to, he said goodbye to his old life and headed home to pack his things. He was going to head out of state and off to college early.
-I-
Nick turned the key to his new apartment and opened the door, thinking how symbolic it felt to finally be opening a new chapter in his life.
He’d found his new apartment online. It was set up with a communal living space and kitchen in the center, with four separate bedrooms, two on each side of the unit separated by a bathroom. There was a small balcony that looked out onto the street and a couple of cheap plastic chairs sat out there along with a coffee tin stuffed full of cigarette butts. He hoped whoever smoked had moved out for the summer.
He was supposed to be only one of two people living in the apartment over the summer since students generally moved out in May and didn’t usually return until August. Not hearing any noise, though, he figured whoever his roommate was, they didn’t appear to be around.
Setting his bag down outside his personal door, he switched keys and opened the interior room he would be calling home for the next year.
The room was tiny. Smaller than his room at his parents' house, but it was his. The walls were white and marred with scuff marks from probably the last six tenants. There was a double bed and an obviously overused dresser and desk, but whoever had moved out last left a white sheer curtain draped over the slatted blinds covering the window. It softened the harsh industrial feel of the room and made the space feel just slightly more welcoming.
Nick grabbed his bag and set it down on his new desk, scenting the air for any cigarette odors. He didn’t notice anything other than an old musty smell from having the door closed too long and left his keys with his bag to wrangle open the window, twisting the stick for the blinds to let in more light.
