Illyria (TCG Edition), page 8
GLADYS: That would get an audience.
JOE: And put all of Egypt and Rome on this stage.
GLADYS: The girls are going to Carol’s … It’s for Peggy.
JOE: I know.
BERNIE (Off): Joe!! You son of a bitch!
(Bernie and Merle are entering.)
JOE: Bernie. What the hell are you doing here? I didn’t know … (Grabs Bernie) You said you couldn’t come!
BERNIE: I snuck out … My assistant does everything anyway … How could I miss …?
MERLE: I didn’t tell you Bernie was here.
JOE (Hugging): Bernie … Bernie. You saw the show? Go, Gladys. Enjoy yourselves. You all deserve to. Now I’m fine. Now I’m fine. Go. I know you’d be the last to leave this sinking ship. And god bless you for that.
BERNIE (Trying to make a joke): What ‘sinking ship’? Where the hell’s the sinking ship? It was really great tonight.
JOE: You thought so?
MERLE (Looking out): Who’s out there?
JOE (Explaining): I’ve decided those two are discussing: his place or hers … Or maybe just thinking about it. By now they’ve forgotten the play ever happened.
BERNIE: Of course.
JOE: It doesn’t last long.
(They all look out.)
BERNIE: It’s only a play.
JOE: Don’t stare.
MERLE: They’re waving …
(They wave.)
JOE (Quietly): Glad you enjoyed the show … Thank you for coming.
GLADYS: I don’t have to go if you need me …
JOE: No. No. I’m sure. I’m all right. I’m with my friends.
GLADYS: Goodnight. Merle. Bernie … So glad you came. Goodnight …
(She hurries off.)
JOE: It’s been hard on her. Really hard. Divided loyalties … That’s hard.
BERNIE: And with an asshole for a husband.
JOE: Now be fair, Bernie. Then on second thought …
MERLE: He’s a friend. I got Bernie a ticket. He doesn’t like to stand in line. And I told him he’d have had to get here very early. It’s always a very long line.
JOE: Stop it. Don’t try to cheer me up, Merle.
(Then:)
I’m sorry. If I were standing up here in a storm, I think I’d want you with me, Merle. By my side … (Smiles)
MERLE: Stuart’s here …
JOE: Say something else … Sit. Sit. They’re a little uncomfortable. (The camp stools) I tried to tell the actors, I don’t want anyone sitting for too long; keep the show moving … Still—they complained. They were cheap, I think. Or we got them from somewhere …
BERNIE: What’s next, Joe?
JOE: Colleen and Scott are going to do Antony and Cleo in the winter.
MERLE: You didn’t tell me that. A reading?
JOE: It’ll bring in some money. That’s to get the ball rolling again. After our hiatus. I suspect—I’m not going to waste our time and money on just a reading, Merle.
BERNIE: I meant you, Joe.
JOE: What?
BERNIE: What are you doing next? After tonight. Right now. While on ‘hiatus.’
MERLE: Should we go someplace? Have a drink … Bernie, when’s your train—?
BERNIE: I’m staying in town tonight.
MERLE: Joe?
JOE: Bernie, I’m going to Cleveland, to judge some acting contest for the playhouse there. Some Ford Foundation thing. I’m angling for a grant from them … I thought this might … They give money to directors, don’t they? I’m a director. They’ll probably give me one of those grants.
MERLE: Why wouldn’t they? (To Bernie) Right? They should.
JOE: Ten thousand bucks.
MERLE: Wow. (A joke) I should be a director.
BERNIE (Trying to make a joke): If you get it maybe you can pay me back that loan for the O’Casey.
JOE: That wasn’t a goddamn loan, Bernie. (To Merle, ‘incredulous’) Bernie put his own money into a show. (Continues) Then we’re going out to Peggy’s family. Her dad hasn’t seen the kid yet.
BERNIE: A vacation, good.
MERLE: Recharge the batteries.
JOE: They’re paying our way there …
(They all look out at the empty audience, not knowing what to say.)
The kids are gone. We’ve been forgotten …
(Peggy entering and seeing Bernie:)
PEGGY: Bernie?!
BERNIE: I’m here! I’m made it.
PEGGY: Joe, Bernie came. Joe said you couldn’t come.
BERNIE: I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
PEGGY (Hugging him): Joe, Bernie.
JOE: I know.
BERNIE: I loved it. I loved.
PEGGY: What are you three doing out here?
PEGGY: Bernie?!
MERLE: I don’t know, what are we doing?
PEGGY: Everyone’s still back there, changing, Bernie. Go and say hi, if they knew you were here and you didn’t …
BERNIE: They don’t care about me.
PEGGY: Bull. You’ve worked with half of them. Go. Go … They’ll be hurt if you don’t.
BERNIE: Okay. Okay. You were really great tonight. Such a beautiful Olivia.
PEGGY: Thank you … Thanks, Bernie. That means a lot.
JOE: Her last show. Her ‘last time onstage.’
BERNIE: Don’t say that. Why do you say that?
JOE: That what she says … You try and argue with her … I’ve given up. So has Merle.
MERLE (To Bernie): Come on, let’s go say hello. Get that over with. We’ll be right back. We’re not going away.
BERNIE: You’re quitting? She’s quitting?
MERLE: And don’t go anywhere without us. You’re stuck with us … Come on. Come on. And try and just say hi, you don’t have to schmooze with everyone …
(Bernie and Merle are gone.)
PEGGY: They’re good friends.
JOE: Did you hear what Bernie just said? “A beautiful Olivia.” I whole-heartedly agree.
PEGGY: I heard a friend say a nice thing. A very nice thing. I appreciate that. I do. There’s a party. For me … Isn’t that sweet? Just the girls. You think the sitter will be okay with that?
JOE: She’ll be okay.
PEGGY: She’s probably asleep by now.
JOE: Peggy, sit down. Sit down and look out there … I keep looking out there. But then maybe you need to go off with the girls—
PEGGY: No. No, I have time.
(She will sit.)
JOE: Stuart went backstage. Did you see him? Did he say anything to you?
PEGGY: He didn’t say anything.
JOE: I’m sorry. To hell with him.
PEGGY: I mean anything bad. He was a gentleman. A friend.
JOE: Who waited until the last night.
PEGGY: What did he say to you?
JOE: Stuart wanted to give me a few notes. To ‘help’ me the next time. ‘If there is a next time,’ he said. ‘Let’s hope there is a next time,’ he said. How he too finds directing hard. That it’s always best to ignore the critics. He held back from pointing out that Atkinson actually wished the show had been directed by Stuart Vaughan. But I could see that in his face. He wanted to—
COLLEEN (Entering): Peggy? I’m ready to go to Carol’s. I’m supposed to bring things. It’s sort of a potluck. I just learned this. I have to find someplace that’s open. I brought your things.
(Hands Peggy her purse, etc.)
PEGGY: I don’t have anything to bring.
COLLEEN: Not you. Tonight you don’t have to bring anything. This is your night.
JOE: Go. Don’t keep Colleen and the girls waiting …
COLLEEN: Joe, she’s worried about staying out late, because of the sitter. I keep telling her—tonight she can stay out as late as she wants … I’m right, aren’t I?
JOE: You’re right, Colleen.
PEGGY: Colleen, could you give me a minute? Or I can just meet you at Carol’s. I know where it is … I’m coming. I will come. I promise.
COLLEEN: I’ll wait. A nice show tonight, Joe. And thank god it didn’t rain. We were lucky.
(She goes.
Folk dancing music in the distance, and distant traffic.)
PEGGY: I’m sorry about Stuart …
JOE: What the hell. Doesn’t matter. It’s finished.
(Then:)
PEGGY: Putting on my makeup tonight, I kept thinking of those late nights in Clurman’s class? … How special was that? Everyone having put in a day at their job. Jobs they hated. Me too, I worked. I hated it. Somehow that made it even better. Made you appreciate it even more. And it wasn’t about trying to be anything. Become ‘someone.’ Not really. Not for me. Maybe sometimes I got caught up in that stuff … But not really … (Smiles to herself) Though look at George and Colleen. Good for them. They were in that class.
JOE: You’re just as good as George and Colleen.
PEGGY: Just as we were beginning tonight, and I was about to come onstage—given everything, I’d figured I’d have a lot of emotions to hold back and ‘be professional’—but as I was about to enter, I heard myself, say to myself: ‘I am so grateful.’
(He looks at her.)
For having had this, Joe. Throughout the show, I kept trying not to peek out there. I hope you didn’t notice. ‘Grateful.’
(Then:)
Given the chance to just to do it. And have it not be about anything else, but—doing it. Does that sound silly? Am I making any sense?
JOE: Yes …
PEGGY: What I think I love most about—This … The festival here. Why I’m grateful. It’s obviously not been about money. (Laughs) It certainly hasn’t been about that. So you feel that acting here—Ask anyone. Any of us. That’s what we talk about in the dressing room—how and why it has been worth it to fight the rain, the sirens—(Gestures off) —the folk dancing festivals—
JOE: Is that what that is?
PEGGY: I didn’t even hear it during the show. Did you? (Another) The planes from Idyllwild.
JOE: I’ve asked them to fix that. They can easily reroute—
PEGGY: I’m sure they listened. The accordion competitions—?
JOE: Oh god, I remember …
PEGGY: It’s a very special thing. I think. When it’s not about paying. Of course it is for them. (The audience) But not just for them, but for us too. I think they then look at us, at the show, differently. It’s not like we owe them something. It’s not about owing. Or them buying anything. And that doesn’t mean they’re not expecting or even demanding—But in a different way, Joe. Like—talking to someone. That person you’re talking to doesn’t owe you an answer, but it is only fair to expect a response because you’re there, you’re listening, you’ve spent time. It’s—person to person, human to human being. Today, I suppose that just sounds naive …
(She looks at him.)
JOE: I hope not. Anyway, we only did free because we had to in the other park …
PEGGY: I know. I know that. Things happen that you can’t plan for. There are good surprises too.
THE WOMEN (Off): Peggy! Come on. Peggy!
PEGGY: I have to go, Joe.
JOE: Go. Go have fun with the girls.
PEGGY: And you with the boys.
(Then:)
We met in a play. (About him) The stage manager and understudy. (About herself) And one of the whores. A clean-cut whore from Utah. National company. Salesman. Remember when you went on as Happy …?
JOE: I try to forget.
PEGGY: The saddest looking Happy I ever saw.
JOE: I was scared. I’m no actor. I’m too shy. Still your parents really liked us …
PEGGY: Joe, they liked me. (Smiles) Night.
(She goes.)
JOE: Goodnight.
(A plane is heard overhead.)
(Calls after her) I am going to get those rerouted!!!
(Joe is alone.
Folk dancing festival continues off; traffic; voices passing by, etc.
Then: Bernie and Merle enter.)
MERLE: All the women are going off together. To a party. Just—the women. What do you want to do, Joe?
JOE: And the men with Stuart. What do you want to do?
BERNIE: I don’t know. We don’t have to go anywhere. We can sit here. What do you want to do? Merle wants to go to a bar.
MERLE: It’s going to rain.
JOE: The party’s for Peggy.
BERNIE: Peggy okay?
JOE: It’s what she now wants.
BERNIE: Look what I’ve got … (Takes out a small flask) Who needs to go to a bar? Who wants a drink? Joe?
JOE (Taking it): Thank you.
BERNIE: I find that (The flask) helps on the New Haven line. Makes the seats a little less hard.
JOE: You are something, Bernie … You always think you can make anything better …
(Drinks and hands the flask to Merle.)
BERNIE: So you’re going to Utah.
JOE: And Utah is a very interesting place. I go fishing. I … I think that’s it. Fishing. But a nice clean place. My father-in-law’s a good man.
BERNIE: He’s the politician.
JOE: He has been. He’s a lot more than that.
MERLE: Did you know this, Bernie? Joe once helped on one of his campaigns.
BERNIE: I didn’t know. That I would have liked to have seen. Joe Papp in Utah knocking on doors—
JOE: For about a day … A nice place. Nice. ‘Nice.’
BERNIE: Merle, I’ve known Joe for years now. And for almost all of that time, I had no idea he was a Jew too. ‘Papp.’ I thought it was Greek. I even asked Joe once—what part of Greece are your folks from?
MERLE: You’re kidding.
JOE (To Bernie): What did I say?
BERNIE: Athens. Probably the only Greek place you knew …
JOE: Bernie, did you really like the play tonight? My direction? I know you’ll be honest.
BERNIE (Hesitates): Didn’t rain. I thought it might. That would have been terrible. I mean—your last night.
JOE: At least you’re honest. We’ll be back next summer, Bernie.
BERNIE: I know. I meant …
MERLE (To say something): Who’s the better stage manager? I’m looking at you two and wondering that. What do you think?
JOE: Don’t try and make us happy, Merle. You don’t always have to play the fool. How much did we get in our buckets tonight? (To Bernie) I decided just to beg.
BERNIE: Fuck Moses.
MERLE: I said we’d count it later.
BERNIE (Looks out): What a beautiful place to do theater. Fucking Stratford is a fucking barn. You know the theater you used on the East River?
JOE: In that park. Yeah. What about it?
BERNIE: Merle was just telling me—How did it come up? I don’t know. Anyway he was telling me: do you know why that was built? In that park? Who it was built for?
(Joe looks at Merle.)
MERLE: I just learned this.
BERNIE: How that came into being? I mean it just sits there now mostly empty.
JOE: How? I don’t know.
BERNIE (To Merle): I don’t know how you know all this.
MERLE: I hang out with gossips. I’m a press rep.
BERNIE: Himself. Mr. Moses had that amphitheater built—to kiss the ass of Governor Smith.
JOE: What do you mean?
MERLE: When he was a kid, Smith—He grew up in that neighborhood. And it seems he always had these dreams of being an actor. But he never could afford the price of a ticket to a theater. So that was Moses’ gift to Governor Al Smith. (Incredible) A theater …
BERNIE: How are you going to store this—[stage]?
JOE: We’re just going to junk it. Get a better one next year.
MERLE: Joe has a friend—
BERNIE: Like the friend you had who built you the last trailer? (To Merle) I rode that once. Never again. Every time you turned a fucking corner—
JOE: Another friend. In Queens. He has a car shop—
BERNIE (Over this): If you paid more than a few bucks, Joe, you might—
JOE: I don’t have any money, Bernie.
(Mary appears.)
MARY: Good, you haven’t left …
JOE: You’re still here, Mary. Our biggest fan. How many times did you see it? She loved it.
MARY: Some of the women are still getting dressed. And I’ve been delegated to invite you gentlemen to our girl party.
MERLE: If it’s a girl party …
JOE (Same time): I don’t think so …
MARY: We heard you were still here. And we suddenly realized—how boring it would be with only us girls. (Smiles) Come on. Please, you’ll come won’t you?
BERNIE: We’ll think about it, Mary. It’s at Carol’s? I know where that is. We’re going to sit out here a little longer.
MERLE: Mary just got a part in George’s play this fall.
BERNIE: Good for you, Mary.
MARY: Colleen got me the audition.
MERLE: Joe is stage managing.
BERNIE: I didn’t know that. We’ll see you at Carol’s.
MARY: You’re not just saying that, are you, Bernie?
BERNIE: We’re just saying it, Mary. And please tell Gladys to stop worrying about us.
MARY: You do know it’s going to rain.
MERLE: Oh we know.
(She goes.)
BERNIE: She still with David?
MERLE: She has got him so fucked up …
JOE: Stuart wanted to cast her. Remember? She’d have been good.
MERLE: She probably would have … Yeah …
(Then:)
JOE: Watching tonight, and seeing Stuart here, I didn’t care what anyone in that audience thought of the show—only goddamn Stuart. What is wrong with me? I wanted to show him. Petty? Sure. And so when he gave me that ‘smile’ and … You know. You can imagine how he said …
MERLE: He’s not a bad guy.
BERNIE: No …
JOE (Looking out into the dark): No.
BERNIE: Forget it …
JOE: I kept having this dream these past few weeks. While rehearsing Twelfth Night. I suddenly find myself in a place—I don’t know where. I’m lost. A beautiful beautiful place. Trees. Grass. A lake. Like this. It’s like this park. Where the city noise is just ‘over there.’ It’s all mixed together. All one thing. Like here. But I know I’ve never been here before. I’m lost. Then someone comes by—I first think it’s you, Merle, but then he turns and it’s not you. I don’t recognize him. And I say, excuse me, sir, where am I? He turns to me and says, “This is Illyria …”
