No Safe Haven: A gripping, twisty tale of loyalty and survival, page 7
‘I’m only asking because my sister used to love it there – she died, eight years ago now – but I go every year on her birthday. Usually with our parents, but it’s getting a bit much for them now. I was wondering – maybe it’s a silly idea – but would you and Dominic like to meet me there when I go this weekend? My treat.’ He paused, and keen to encourage me he added, ‘You’d be doing me a favour, really. I’m not looking forward to going on my own.’
Taken aback by his invitation, I stared at him stupidly. ‘I can’t drive,’ I said finally, ‘me and Dom used to take the bus, but it’s not very regular–’
He waved that excuse – was it an excuse? – away. ‘I’ll pick you up.’
I was about to say no, but I paused. Why was I trying to say no? He wouldn’t realise about my debt, about Kevin, about any of it, just from me going out on a day trip with him.
‘I’d like that,’ I said. ‘But Dom is seventeen now, going out with us for the day probably won’t appeal to him much, even if it is to visit the gardens.’
‘I understand.’
‘I will ask him though.’
The phone on my desk started to ring, and Max stood. ‘Even if he doesn’t want to, will you still come along?’
I nodded, reaching out to answer the phone, and Max smiled as he left. Perhaps his life wasn’t so immaculate after all. I already knew he was single, but it had never occurred to me that perhaps he was lonely.
…
I drew in my breath sharply at the knock on the door. After Dom’s attack I was keeping up with my payments to Kevin, but he still frightened me – and my heart leapt to find it was only Max with some pizzas. I invited him in awkwardly; uncomfortable to show him our bare flat. I’d sold anything non-essential that was worth selling, leaving what felt like a featureless husk of a home. But we’d got on so well at the botanical gardens and on a couple of dates since then that I put my misgivings aside. Why should I be ashamed of my flat? It might not exactly be beautiful – and the block that housed it had certainly seen better days – but anyone who really cared about me wouldn’t be bothered about that, and Max was certainly unfazed. Dominic emerged from his bedroom, and finding Max in the hall with a stack of pizza boxes he muttered, ‘So this is him, then.’
‘Dom!’ I said, ‘don’t be so rude.’
‘It’s okay,’ Max said.
‘No, it isn’t,’ I insisted, upset that their first meeting was already going badly. As I suspected, Dominic had not wanted to come with us to the gardens, though he’d had a wistful look on his face as he thought about the place. He’d been deeply sceptical at the idea of me having a relationship with my manager and I hated the way his eyes were so full of mistrust as he took in the sight of Max. ‘Liam bribed us with pizzas too,’ he muttered darkly.
‘Liam is his dad,’ I explained to Max quickly. ‘He doesn’t call him “Dad” because–’
‘Because he left us when I was a little kid, came back a couple of years ago, pretended he was interested in us, then stole all our money and left us with nothing,’ Dominic said bluntly.
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Max said. ‘But I’m not trying to bribe anybody or take anything from you. Your mum told me you like pizza, that’s all.’
‘There’s nothing left to take, anyway,’ Dominic said. ‘You couldn’t pick a worse place to come looking for money.’
‘Max is not here for that!’ I said, ‘not everyone is like your dad…’ I gave up. Dominic wasn’t going to take my word about Max’s character. After all, I’d let Liam back into our lives.
We sat together in the living room in silence. Dominic had changed since being attacked and finding out what his dad had done. He’d grown harder and angrier, and I could swear even the features of his face had grown sharper and lost their softness – though perhaps that was just him growing up. Either way, it was as though something had been stolen from him – his faith in people, I suppose – and I’d give anything to bring it back.
Though he was still clearly upset, I was glad Dominic managed to eat, and I took my own first bite of pizza. The flavours exploded on my tongue, and for a while I completely forgot Max was sitting beside me as I stuffed down the food until I couldn’t fit any more in. ‘Sorry,’ I said, when I realised he was looking at me. ‘I was just–’
‘Really hungry,’ he said. ‘There’s no need to apologise.’ He looked around the living room, as if trying to find something to compliment. ‘That plant is… interesting,’ he said as his eyes came to rest on Dominic’s pitcher plant.
‘I gave him that for his fourteenth,’ I said. ‘It eats flies.’
‘What do you do in the evening?’ Max asked curiously, ‘only, I can’t see a TV.’
‘Mum’s loan shark took it,’ Dominic said as he finished off his pizza and placed the empty box on the coffee table.
‘Dom!’
‘Why are you pretending?’ he said. ‘Please, Mum, please stop trying to believe you can sort everything out. You can’t sort this out. And it’s not your fault. I accepted that stupid Playstation, I let Liam–’
‘It is certainly not your fault!’ I said, my voice rising. ‘I’m the adult here, and I’m to blame, not you. Don’t you ever start thinking otherwise.’
‘All right,’ Max said calmly. ‘Let’s just stop for a minute. Poppy, how bad is this? Did you really go to a loan shark?’
He paused as Dominic abruptly got to his feet. He returned from his room with the bills from the kitchen drawer and dumped them in Max’s lap.
‘Dom, those are private,’ I said, reaching out to take them back, but Max had already unfolded one of the letters. Dominic picked up a new one from the coffee table that I hadn’t noticed and thrust it towards me. When I opened it, it was immediately obvious why he was so on edge.
‘We’re being evicted!’ he said. ‘I found this when I got home from college.’
I couldn’t speak. I just stared at the letter.
‘Are you using our rent money to pay Kevin?’
‘I–’ I couldn’t answer. It wasn’t like I hadn’t expected this. In my desperation to stop Dominic being beaten up again, nothing else mattered. The rent had been one thing I hadn’t wanted to touch in the past, but nothing was sacred any more, not compared to my son’s life.
‘We need help, Mum! If Max is your boyfriend now, he should know about this, shouldn’t he?’
Max had continued studying the stack of paperwork quietly, as both me and Dominic turned to him. ‘How long has all this been going on for?’ Max asked at length.
‘Since Dom’s dad stole the money,’ I said. ‘It’s got worse and worse.’
He nodded. ‘Well, I can pay some of these off for you. It’ll get at least a few people off your back.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘I can’t be in debt to anybody else.’
‘For God’s sake!’ Dominic exploded, ‘take his money, Mum! It’s not as if he looks like he can’t afford it!’
I was about to reprimand Dominic, but the look on his face stopped me in my tracks. His eyes were desperate and pleading. He was pale, and he was shaking. He wasn’t being rude, he was just scared. Terrified.
‘This… Kevin person Dominic mentioned,’ Max said, ‘I’m assuming you don’t have any paperwork from him?’
I shook my head.
‘How much is he saying you owe him?’
‘He won’t give me a number,’ I said, my voice almost a whisper. ‘I’ve paid back what I originally borrowed many times over, but because I missed some payments he starts going on about interest, and I–’ I sighed. ‘I don’t think he’s ever going to stop.’
‘You don’t have to give him anything,’ Max said, ‘you do realise that? The loan isn’t legal, you can go to the police.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s bigger than just Kevin. He had Dominic beaten up, I don’t know how many of them there are – if someone realises I’ve gone to the police…’
Max was silent for a long time, ‘Poppy, can I talk to you alone for a minute? There might be another way I can help.’
Cattleford
15
‘Like a knight in shining armour!’ Jessica breathed when I told the sisters that night about Max. ‘What did he do? Did he kill Kevin for you?’
I almost spat out my mouthful of tea, and Jessica laughed. ‘I was joking,’ she said. ‘He would deserve it though,’ she concluded, before turning back to the instructions for the flat-pack cot that had arrived that afternoon. Bits of wood and fixings littered the floor, and Harriet had nearly hit the roof when she’d walked in and witnessed Jessica’s slapdash approach to furniture assembly, insisting Jessica read the instructions from start to finish before doing anything else.
I shifted uneasily on the sofa. I wanted to help with the cot but I was feeling drained and Harriet had insisted I leave it to her and Jessica. I braced myself to explain the next part of my story. Max’s other way to help had been a curse as much as a blessing, but I’d gone into it with my eyes open and it hadn’t been a decision I’d taken lightly. The sisters turned to me, sensing a new mystery. ‘What did he do, Poppy?’ Harriet asked uneasily.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘He told me a way I could make money,’ I said. ‘Plenty of money.’
‘Oh no,’ Jessica said, her eyes wide as she threw her hands up to her face.
‘It was nothing like what you’re thinking,’ I said. ‘Nothing… seedy.’
‘But it was something bad?’
I leant back heavily against the sofa cushions. A nagging pain had started in my back. Was I coming down with something? The drained feeling was turning into something worse, like I was just starting with a nasty case of flu. I tried to focus. Should I really tell the sisters about it? I’d be putting them in an impossible position. I couldn’t expect them to keep it secret, could I? But carrying it around with me any longer was too much. I needed somebody to understand.
‘It was fraud,’ I said. ‘The place we worked, QHM Solutions, it was a big company with hundreds of employees. Max told me that he had added a couple of extra employees – pretend ones – onto the payroll, and collected their salaries. He said I could do it too.’
Just a couple of months of collecting three salaries instead of one, maybe you could get rid of Kevin once and for all.
‘So his solution to your problem was to dig yourself into an even bigger hole?’ Harriet said, disgusted. ‘If he actually cared about you, he would have supported you in reporting Kevin to the police. That’s what you needed.’
‘I know,’ I said. ‘I wish Max’s suggestion had made me realise there was something off about him, and that I’d never even contemplated doing what he said. I wish I’d been brave enough to go to the police about Kevin myself, regardless of whether anyone was supporting me to do it. Things could have worked out so much better if I had, but I was frightened and embarrassed to talk about it. I fixated on being able to pay Kevin off without anybody else ever having to know I’d got into the situation in the first place.’ I sighed. ‘The fraud made me sick to my stomach. I’d been so proud to get the job, I’d had to do a bookkeeping course at the same time as working two jobs to get myself where I was, only to now abuse my position and steal from the company. But I just kept thinking that perhaps I could pay Kevin off once and for all. If I managed to get enough cash together at once, maybe he really would stop and I’d be free.’
‘Or, he’d realise you had access to a lot of money and carry on bleeding you dry,’ Harriet said darkly.
‘Well, did it work?’ Jessica asked. ‘Did you get Kevin to stop?’
The mug of tea I was holding fell from my hand and spilt over my lap as I cried out in pain.
‘Poppy?’ Harriet gasped, leaping up to take away the mug and pulling off her jumper to try and soak up the hot liquid from my lap. ‘It’s okay,’ I said, after catching my breath as the cramp subsided. ‘It wasn’t that hot anymore.’
Harriet’s face was full of panic. ‘But you were in pain! What’s wrong? Where does it hurt?’
Another wave of pain had me clutching my stomach, and Harriet sprang into action. ‘I’m taking you to hospital.’
‘I’ll be okay in a minute–’ I protested.
‘I don’t know, Poppy,’ Jessica said, looking at me closely. ‘You don’t look right. Let Harriet take you to get checked over. It can’t do any harm, can it?’
…
‘How are you feeling?’ Harriet asked as she handed me a glass of water and I swallowed some antibiotics.
‘Tired,’ I said. ‘And relieved, I guess. I wish I hadn’t dragged you out to hospital, I should have waited until the morning and asked to see my midwife.’
‘You were in pain, Poppy, and you were worried. And you didn’t drag me anywhere; we both thought something was wrong. And something was wrong. Urinary tract infections can cause complications during pregnancy. I was looking up all the causes of abdominal pain while you were talking to the doctor. You can’t be complacent about these things. The sooner it gets sorted the better.’
In fact, Harriet had been keen to stay stuck by my side the entire time I was in the hospital, but I started to find her overbearing and insisted she should stay in the waiting area. Clearly she had spent the time absorbing all the pregnancy medical advice the internet had to offer. She was still watching me closely. ‘All this dragging upsetting stuff up from the past, it’s not good for you. You’re making yourself ill. You should get some rest, and you don’t need to come into the shop tomorrow.’
I made my way out of the kitchen, and Harriet followed me upstairs, asking if I needed anything. ‘Honestly, Harri, I’m okay,’ I said, trying not to let any irritation creep into my voice. She just cares about me, that’s all. But then at the top of the stairs I swayed a little on my feet and she rushed to support me.
‘You are not okay,’ she stated. ‘You’re under too much stress. Maybe I should call your midwife tomorrow–’
‘No!’ I said, as I reached my limit. Would she ever stop fussing? I tried to calm down. ‘I mean – I just want to go to bed. Can we talk about this in the morning?’
‘You are not taking your health seriously.’
‘And that’s not your responsibility.’
‘Nothing is more important than the baby!’ Harriet exploded, her cheeks colouring. Immediately she tried to backtrack. ‘I mean, you and the baby. You’re a package – for the baby to be okay, you need to be okay.’
I took a deep breath and counted to three very slowly in my head. The last thing I needed was a full blown row. ‘Thank you for tonight. I didn’t mean to get irritable, but I don’t feel good and I just need a bit of breathing space.’
For a second I thought she was going to argue, but instead she said, ‘I’m sorry Poppy. I don’t know what came over me.’
I made it into my room and sat on the bed, stretching my legs out in front of me. Harriet was in the doorway, looking so chastened that I felt a rush of sympathy for her. ‘Harriet,’ I said softly, before she left me. ‘Jessica told me you wanted to have a baby with Ben.’
Harriet nodded, but didn’t respond. ‘I’ll bring you up a glass of water if you want?’ she said instead. ‘And do you need another blanket? It feels chilly tonight.’
‘The baby keeps me pretty warm,’ I said. ‘He’s like a little radiator.’
Harriet smiled, though her eyes were troubled. My comment about her and Ben had upset her. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘And you just stay in bed tomorrow morning, I’ll bring you breakfast and your antibiotics. No arguments.’
16
Just as Harriet had instructed, I stayed in bed the next morning. Having been shivery and feverish all night I needed the lie-in, but by the afternoon I had improved and went downstairs to look for Jessica, who I assumed would be working. Sure enough she was ensconced inside her sewing room – a large, slightly ramshackle conservatory at the back of the house, which she kept in a state of perpetual chaos, much to Harriet’s irritation. The blinds were all open, flooding the space with light, and she had the radio on quietly.
‘Jess?’ I said softly, not wanting to make her jump as she was completely absorbed in her work.
‘Oh, hello,’ she said, looking up at me with concern, as if she thought I might keel over. Her face cleared as she concluded I wasn’t going to. ‘You look a bit better. Sorry the stuff for the cot is still all over the floor in the lounge, me and Harri will finish it later and get it all out of the way.’
‘Hopefully I might be able to help you with it by then,’ I said as I made my way towards her table where beautiful ivory satin was draped. ‘What are you working on?’
‘Taking in this dress,’ she said. She held it up. ‘Pretty, isn’t it?’
I admired the strapless gown with its dramatic spray of diamantes. ‘Did you make the whole dress?’
‘No, not this one. It’s from Bracton Brides. They recommend me to customers for alterations sometimes.’
I pulled up the rattan chair from the corner of the conservatory to sit down near to her, and she smiled at me. ‘Do you wish you’d got married, Poppy?’
‘What, to Liam?’
‘Well, whoever,’ she said. ‘Not that there’s not still plenty of time, of course.’
I pretended to be absorbed in admiring the dress. Max had in fact asked me to marry him. But I’d not got so far as dress shopping, let alone walking down the aisle.
‘I would like to have a wedding – the big dress and all the rest of it,’ Jessica said, ‘but I don’t think I would want to be married. Having someone around, getting in your face all the time. It seems… bothersome.’
‘I suppose people aren’t so bothersome if you love them.’
