Monster In The Shadows: A stand-alone dark romance, page 8
“Leanne, we’re just friends. Please drop it,” I groan.
I sit down next to her, and she giggles.
“I’m just giving you a hard time. I think it’s a good thing that you’re expanding your social circle. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I never see you with anyone but me.”
I nod. “It’s hard to let people in when you just feel like one day they’re going to abandon you.”
Leanne places her hand on mine and gives it a squeeze. “I love you, sweetie, and I’m so sorry your father fucked off when you were little, but you have to let it go. Not everyone is going to leave you. I’m here, right?”
I pull her in for a hug and think about her words for a minute.
Donovan should not be the guy I finally let into my life, but I don’t have a choice. So I’m going to stop fighting it and just let it happen.
Goodbye, quiet, simple life. Hello, unknown, insane life.
“So, you made it official,” Kyle states.
I don’t reply, because he knows damn well what the date was last night.
“You know I don’t like small talk. Now, take your computer out so we can get this installed,” I bark.
He nods, pushing up his glasses, and we quickly get to work installing the system.
“Does she know you’re putting cameras in?” he asks.
I glare at him. “You know better than to ask questions like that. Do you want to keep your job?”
That shuts him up.
Kyle hasn’t always been in this life. I brought him in when a dirty cop was threatening to kill him for hacking his account. He only hacked the account because his younger sister had gone missing, but it turned out the dirty cop had taken her and had pictures of disgusting shit on his computer. Kyle wanted to see justice done in court, but I convinced him to work with me instead. I may not be a good guy, but we get our own form of justice this way. Still, he likes to question things sometimes, and I have to remind him who the boss is.
Kyle works quietly, but his jaw ticks every once in a while.
“We’re just keeping her safe. I’m not one of those sickos, Kyle. You know that. We aren’t putting a camera in her bedroom or bathroom. I just want to make sure she’s okay,” I tell him to put his mind at ease.
He doesn’t need to know that I let myself into her house every night and watch her sleep. That I inhale her scent and pleasure myself looking at her sleeping form. I don’t touch her, and that’s what matters.
Kyle lets out a breath and nods. “Sorry. I know you aren’t like them. The cameras just bring up bad memories of my sister.”
I place my hand on his shoulder. He’s kind of like a little brother in some ways.
“I get it. Paige has agreed to be mine, and I just want her safe, okay? You know I don’t abuse women, and I’ll cut the dick off of any man who does.”
Kyle chuckles, and we go back to work.
“All of the links are secure, and everything is running smoothly. If anyone steps foot on this property, you’ll know about it,” Kyle says with a satisfied smile.
“Thanks for your help. Your payment is already in your account,” I tell him while he packs up his computer.
“I’ll keep in touch. I still haven’t heard any new information on that case we’re working, but when I do, I’ll let you know.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
Walking back into Paige’s house, I find her packing her bag for her evening rotation.
Leanne left about an hour ago to get ready for her date with Sway. Hopefully that goes well and doesn’t turn into another headache.
“What time does your rotation start?” I ask, even though I already know she needs to be there in about an hour.
“Soon. Do you have to drive me?” she asks, pouting a little.
“Yes, I do, and I’ll pick you up when you’re done. Do we have time to stop for a coffee and something to eat?” I ask, trying to gain her trust.
“I would like that a lot, actually,” she tells me. “I didn’t nap, so I’ll need all the caffeine I can get. I’ve already had four cups, but that won’t be enough.” She pauses and her eyes go wide. “Wait. You didn’t have lunch. You must be starving! I’m almost done packing my stuff, and then we can go. I’m so sorry. I should have offered you something. You’ve been here for hours trying to protect my house, and I didn’t even get you a glass of water.”
I laugh and grab her hand, causing her to freeze. An audible gasp leaves her lips.
“It’s fine. I had a big breakfast, and it’s only one meal,” I assure her. “I’m a big boy. I won’t wither away.”
A gorgeous shade of pink covers her cheeks. Quickly, she pulls her hand away and shoves another book into her bag. Her hair is pulled up, and her glasses are on. Not a dab of makeup is on her face, but she still looks breathtaking.
“I’m ready,” she states, pulling the bag onto her shoulder and heading toward the door.
“Wait,” I tell her.
She stops, turning slowly to me.
“I need to show you how to set your alarm system.”
She tucks a strand of hair that fell out of her messy bun behind her ear. “Right. Sorry. That’s going to take some getting used to.”
I smile and walk over to the touchpad by her door. “When you leave, you just have to press this button that says ‘away.’ When you come home, you enter your code and it will disarm. Most codes are four digits, but since that’s predictable, we made yours five. Your code is 82536. It spells ‘taken,’ because you are mine.” I place my hand under her chin and pull her face closer to mine. “Does it scare you to be mine?”
She shakes her head, not pulling away. “It should. I should be terrified of you. You kill people. I don’t even know your last name. But I’m not scared of you.”
“I would die before I let anyone hurt you, but you’re right. I’m not a good guy. I only hurt people who deserve it, though. I may be fucked up, but I have a moral code. I hope that means something to you.” I pause, considering for a moment, before continuing. “And my last name is Maxwell.”
I know it was stupid to tell her that, but I’m asking her to trust me when she barely knows me. I need to return the favor and give her a little of the trust I want so much too, or this will never work.
I lean in, and she closes her eyes, her lips parting slightly. I’m surprised that she wants me to kiss her, but I don’t kiss her lips. Instead, I move to her cheek and leave a gentle kiss there.
“Let’s get going,” I tell her, walking out the door.
She mumbles something, and I smile.
Was I seriously going to let him kiss me? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I this drawn to him?
I can’t get him out of my head, yet I hate him in a way. I hate him for taking away my perfect plans and fucking my life up. But even though my head is screaming that I’m in danger, my heart is telling me to give him a chance.
You are one fucked-up cookie, Paige.
I follow behind Donovan, muttering to myself about how stupid I am. I can’t let him into my heart, even if he doesn’t want to hurt me, which I’m still up in the air about. I mean, who just fucking “claims” a girl they don’t even know? Yes, I saved his life, but that doesn’t make me special.
I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everything just seems too easy.
“How much longer do you have in your nursing degree before you are done?” Donovan asks after we pull onto the freeway.
“About six weeks,” I tell him.
“That’s great. We’ll have to celebrate your graduation when you’re done.”
“You’re going to allow me to finish?” I ask, raising a brow. Yeah, I’m feeling a little bratty right now.
“Of course. It would be a benefit to have a nurse around.”
“Yeah, to stitch you up every time you get stabbed,” I joke.
That makes him laugh. “Yeah, something like that.”
He always seems to talk very cryptically, like he wants to tell me things, but doesn’t want me to know at the same time.
We get coffee and sandwiches, and he drives me to the hospital I’m doing my clinicals through.
“Thanks for the food and the security system. I get done at ten tonight,” I tell Donovan as I get out of the car.
He nods. “I’ll be here. Text me on all of your breaks to check in. That isn’t a request.”
I want to argue with him, but I don’t have the time.
“I’ll try to remember,” I say, walking away.
Am I seriously going to check in with him?
You know what? No, I’m not.
I know I said I would listen, but this is bullshit. I’m already letting him take so much control of my life. I draw the line here. If I’m in trouble, I’ll text. Otherwise, he can fuck off.
My jaw ticks as I look at the clock on the dash of my car. Paige is five minutes late.
It’s taking all of my strength to not storm into the hospital and carry her out over my shoulder.
I asked her to do one fucking thing, and she couldn’t even comply. I want to tan her ass so bad. I already told her there would be consequences if she didn’t do as she was told. I just don’t think she’s ready for a physical punishment yet. She needs to trust me before we take that step, or she’ll never really be mine.
I keep checking my app, and I know her phone is still in the hospital. More likely than not, she is with it and just deliberately not texting me back.
Paige finally strolls out of the hospital at a leisurely pace and climbs into my car.
“You didn’t text,” I say flatly.
I want to blow up at her for testing me like this, but somehow, I manage to keep my calm.
“I got busy,” she tells me, avoiding eye contact.
“Likely fucking story.”
“What? I don’t know why I had to text you, anyway. I was fucking working, Donovan. What do you want from me?” Her voice is raised, but she’s not yelling.
“I want you to listen, to do as you’re told, and not act like such a brat.” I turn the car on and pull out of the parking lot.
I pick up speed quickly, needing to feel the engine come alive to help me calm down.
“Are you going to kill us because I didn’t send a fucking text message?!” she yells, gripping at my arm. “Slow the fuck down, Donovan.”
“I have control over the car, Paige. Just like I have control over everything in my life, except you. I need to get us to your house so I can give you your punishment.”
“Are you fucking serious? Why is this such a big deal?”
“Because it is!” I yell, causing her to jump. “I didn’t ask for much, Paige. Just a simple fucking text message. But you can’t listen to anything. You are always fighting me on everything, and it stops now.”
We sit in silence for the rest of the drive.
“Thanks for the ride,” she bites out, climbing out of the car quickly.
I follow behind her, and she turns, her face red and her fists clenched.
“Go home!” she yells. “I don’t want you here right now.”
“You don’t get to make that decision,” I tell her, and wait for her to unlock her door.
She grinds her teeth and turns to go in, attempting to slam the door in my face, but I block it with my arm.
“Will you stop acting like a fucking child?” I ask.
She lets out a scream. “Would you stop acting like a demanding ass?!”
She unarms her system and stomps to her kitchen. I pull the jewelry box out of my jacket pocket and place it on her counter.
“You’re giving me jewelry?” she asks, looking at the box, then back at me.
“It’s a tracker. You will wear it 24/7. Since you can’t be trusted to text, this is your punishment.”
“You know what? I think I’m done. Thanks for the alarm system, but I’m over this shit. I’d rather take my chances with the scary men out there then deal with you. I’m not a child, and I will not be treated like one.”
“If you don’t want to be treated like a child, stop acting like one.”
“How the fuck do you expect me to act, Donovan?!” she screams, and tears start to stream down her face. “I never fucking asked for this. I’m not used to being told what to do. Even my mom wasn’t this controlling. You threw me into this new world and just started barking orders at me. I don’t know what you expect from me.”
Her tears catch me off-guard, and I don’t know how to respond.
“You agreed to be mine,” I finally say.
I guess that wasn’t the right answer, because she throws a glass at my head. I quickly move to avoid the object that shatters behind me.
“Because I didn’t have another choice. Every decision I’ve made lately seems to be the wrong one. I’m done, Donovan. I never should have rescued you, I never should have gone on that date, and I never should have agreed to be yours. If I wasn’t putting Leanne’s life at risk, I would just go to the cops and call everything off. Be done with everything. But she can’t die because I trusted my gut, which was clearly wrong.” She crumbles to the ground and her body shakes from her sobs.
I just stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Crying is not something I know how to handle. I honestly don’t even understand why women cry so much.
I slowly step toward Paige and crouch in front of her, reaching out to put my hand under her chin and lift her face so her eyes meet mine.
“I asked you to text me so I knew you were safe.” I keep my tone as soft as possible. “You promised to be mine. In return, I promised I would protect you and Leanne. How am I supposed to protect you if I can’t trust you? I don’t want anything to happen to you, Paige.”
She stares into my eyes, and I can’t help it. I bring her mouth to mine. The kiss is probably the gentlest I’ve ever given a woman, but I know it’s what Paige needs right now.
“Wear the earrings,” I tell her.
She stares into my eyes for a moment before nodding slowly.
I stand and walk out of her kitchen, leaving her to think about everything.
I touch my lips after Donovan leaves.
When he commanded that I text him, I thought it was because he was showing that he’s in control. I wanted to show him that I don’t take orders from him.
But when he kissed me, it was like he was telling me he was afraid. And I believe him when he says that he just wanted to know I was safe.
He doesn’t know how to show emotions well; I’ve learned this already. I think that, in his weird way, he cares for me. I don’t know why, but I think this goes beyond him wanting to collect me as a trinket. This is more than just him showing me that he’s in control and I’m his.
After a few minutes of taking deep breaths, I stand up and grab the jewelry box off the counter. Upon opening it, I gasp. They’re the most beautiful diamond earrings I have ever seen. There is a large diamond in the center with probably thirty small ones circling it. They’re a statement piece, but subtle at the same time. Definitely something you could wear all the time.
I take the box to my bathroom and put the earrings in my ears. They catch the light, shining perfectly. As I stare at them, I think back to how I yelled at Donovan. A careless, controlling man wouldn’t have spent this kind of money on tracking earrings. He would have bought cheap-ass ugly ones. This was well thought out.
I walk to my hall closet and grab my broom, cleaning up the mess I made when I threw the glass at Donovan.
He wasn’t wrong earlier. I was acting like a child. I’d just had enough of the dick who thought I was someone who would just roll over and do whatever he said.
But it turns out there’s more to him than meets the eye. If he was really the controlling, uncaring bastard I thought he was, he would have locked me up in his house and never let me out. Instead, he bought me an expensive set of earrings to keep me safe.
After I clean up the broken glass, I pour myself a glass of wine and sit down on my couch. I pull out my phone and send a text to Donovan.
Me: I’m sorry I overreacted. You’re right. I was acting like a child. Please just give me a little time to get accustomed to all of this. Thank you for the earrings. They’re beautiful.
Donovan: Sleep well, Paige. Please arm your system. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
I set my phone on the couch beside me and take a large gulp of wine. I keep feeling like I’m being pulled in two directions. My emotions are all over the place.
I want to fight Donovan and push him away. I want to hate him for pulling me into a life I never wanted and taking away the life I did.
But what’s the point? It’s already happened. Fighting him won’t help anything. In fact, I think it will only make things worse.
This is my life now. I can either keep fighting and make life even more miserable, or just accept it for what it is.
I chug the rest of my wine, then walk to my front door to set the alarm. When I get there, I find a note stuck beside the alarm system.
I know you’re new to this, but you have to trust me.
I don’t want to see you hurt.
I may be a bad guy, but I’m not to you.
I want you.
-Donovan
I grab the note and arm the system. Does he really want me, or is he just saying that so I’ll be a good girl? Ugh. Why does this have to be so confusing?
I fold the note and bring it with me to my bedroom. Opening my closet, I pull out a box from the top shelf. A tear slips down my cheek as I pull the lid off and look at all the notes my mom wrote for me over the years.
Donovan doesn’t even know how much handwritten notes mean to me. I haven’t looked at these notes in almost a year. I place Donovan’s note inside and put the lid back on. I’ll read them on my mother’s birthday like I do every year, and now I’ll have another note to read.
This man is slowly creeping his way into my heart, and that’s the last place he should be. Even if I do this, if I listen to him and obey his commands, I should leave my heart out of it. We will be friends and nothing more.
