Monster In The Shadows: A stand-alone dark romance, page 11
I let go of the edge and start to swim. It actually feels nice to get moving. I touch the far wall and swim back to where I was.
That’s one.
I keep going until I’m at three.
Swimming to the diving board, I grab a bottle of water and chug.
“You’re doing amazing, Paige. Remember to use your hips when you turn to get a breath, not just your head. Your form is actually a lot better than I thought it would be. Today, we’ll keep it to your regular stroke because you’re doing good. Seventeen more laps. Keep going,” Donovan encourages me.
I take a few deep breaths before continuing. When I get to ten, my lungs are already burning.
“I can’t do this,” I complain, but Donovan narrows his eyes at me.
“You can and you will. Now, stop complaining or you won’t get any hot tub time.”
I pout. This is fucking stupid.
I can do this, I encourage myself.
The next five laps aren’t bad, but every lap after is a push like I’ve never known. Whenever I do work out, I don’t push myself this hard. When my hand hits the wall for the twentieth time, I want to cry. My whole body hurts.
“You did it,” Donovan says with a proud smile.
“Can I have my hot tub time now?” I whine.
He chuckles, but nods.
I pull my way up the ladder, and my legs feel a little bit like Jell-O. As I wobble over to the hot tub like a newborn horse learning to walk, I can hear Donovan trying not to laugh.
I place one foot in the tub and relish the heat.
“Fuck, this is amazing,” I sigh, and lower my body in.
I align my back with a jet and just let my body soak. Throwing my head back, I close my eyes and relax.
“Move over here,” Donovan says, and I open my eyes to see him sitting on a step.
I move, and he helps sit me between his legs. He starts to massage my neck, and fuck, that feels amazing. I’ve never had a boyfriend give me a massage before, and does it ever feel good.
I tense up as I realize I just thought of Donovan as my boyfriend. He most definitely is not my boyfriend. I’m not sure what he is to me, but he’s not my boyfriend. He can’t be.
“Relax,” he whispers into my ear.
I close my eyes and let my body go limp. Donovan’s fingers expertly know what muscles to hit, and how to churn me like butter.
“Do you do this for all the girls you claim?” I ask, causing Donovan to stop for a moment.
He turns my head so he can look at me better.
“You’re the only woman I have ever claimed,” he says before pressing his lips to mine.
I let out a small moan, and he uses that moment to claim my tongue with his.
Donovan is an amazing kisser, and every time he does it, all thoughts leave my head. I don’t think about anything but the way my body feels.
His hands come down my shoulders to grab my breasts. It feels so good. I squeeze my legs together, wanting pressure in an area I don’t think about often. No man has ever been there, but what would it feel like if I let Donovan take me? Let him be my first?
I want to turn and be able to touch him, but he stops the kiss and goes back to massaging my neck.
Why am I disappointed that he stopped? I mean, I know I should really stop thinking about him like that. He is the last man on earth I should want to take my virginity. But I think it’s what I want.
Moving away from Donovan, I try to take a deep breath, but I can’t. I feel like there is a weight on my chest.
I stand up, and my legs are still sore. It’s probably going to be worse tomorrow.
“Do you have any more plans for tonight, or can I go to bed?” I ask, wanting some space right now.
“You’re excused. I’m probably going to stay up for a while. If you need me, I’ll either be in the gym or in my office. Do you remember where that is?”
I nod and start to walk away, grabbing a towel from a rack by the door.
“I’m proud of you, Paige,” he calls after me. “You did good.”
A bubble of happiness fills my chest. Why do I feel like this when he tells me he’s proud of me? Why do I want him to be proud of me? I shouldn’t care, but I do.
When I get to my room, I grab my phone and text Leanne.
Me: How’s it going?
Leanne: Bored. Sway had to work late tonight, and you’re away with Sexy Hero Man.
I giggle as I take the bathing suit off and lie on the bed with the towel wrapped loosely around me.
Leanne: How is that going, anyway?
Leanne: Must not be good if you’re texting me.
Leanne: Does he have a small dick?
I laugh out loud at the last one.
Me: It’s going okay.
Me: No idea if he has a small dick. Haven’t seen it.
Me: He made me swim laps.
Leanne: Ew. Working out is gross.
Me: Agreed, but he likes to be in shape, and he wants me to be healthy.
I word it in a way to make him sound like a good guy. Leanne has him built up on a pedestal for rescuing her, and I guess in a way, that does make him a good guy.
A knock at the door causes me to jump. Fuck, I guess I am jumpy. Is this just who I am now?
“Yes?” I ask timidly.
“I was just checking to see if you’ve had more water,” Donovan says through the closed door. “I don’t want you to get dehydrated. The water will help with the muscle tenderness tomorrow.”
That bubble of happiness forms again. I can’t believe he’s checking on me like this. A guy who actually seems to care can’t be that bad, right? And I don’t think it’s possible to keep an act up for that long.
But only time will tell.
He’s already sneaking his way into my heart, and as much as I want to fight it, I know it’s worthless. I just hope falling for him isn’t what ends up killing me.
Paige slowly opens the door with only a towel wrapped around her.
My dick proudly starts to rise to attention. I’ve seen her naked before—not that she knows that—but I want to see it again. To touch her soft skin. I want her to willingly show me her body.
“Here you go,” I tell her, handing the water bottle.
“Thanks,” she says before biting her lip.
“Sleep well. I’ll have breakfast ready for you when you get up.”
She smiles and her cheeks turn pink.
The door closes, and I’m left standing there wanting more, but I can’t have it yet. I know she’s falling for me, and that’s exactly what I want. I want her to think I’m a good, caring man. Because, around her, I am. Around her, I’m not the monster that I know myself to be deep down. I want to be everything she wants, and that’s selfish because I will never be able to be that man full-time.
A caring man wouldn’t get a thrill out of tearing the skin from a man’s arm. He wouldn’t love the sound an eyeball makes when it pops from being pressed too hard. He wouldn’t get joy from the screams of every man he kills.
But I do. I don’t do my job because it’s what I was raised to do. I do it because I actually enjoy it. I know that’s sick and fucked up, but I’m not a good man, and I don’t pretend to be.
When I’m with Paige, I feel this part of me I thought was dead start to come back to life. The part of me that wanted to take my sister away from this life. Of course, the thoughts I have of Paige are not at all sisterly, but I do actually care for her.
I know she deserves better. She deserves a man who wouldn’t put her life at risk just to make himself happy. And she deserves a man who’s actually capable of love. I’m not. I’ve hardened my heart too much to ever love again. Yes, I care for her, and yes, I want her, but love will never be on the table.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I see Sway’s name.
“What’s up? You know I’m busy tonight.”
“Sorry about that. Winston wants to meet with both of us tomorrow night. He wants to know if we know anything more. A kind of ‘check in over drinks’ deal.”
“Sounds good. Do you want to come over for lunch beforehand?” I ask.
We need to talk things out before we talk to Winston, but I’m hesitant to say too much over the phone. Kyle added blockers to our phones to prevent hacking, but they aren’t one hundred percent effective.
“Sounds good,” he tells me, then hangs up.
I run a hand through my hair and suck in a deep breath. Why does Winston want to meet? This feels off to me. He’s not my mentor anymore, and I don’t answer to anyone. But considering that he’s on my list of people not to trust right now, I’ll go. You know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer.
Winston isn’t my enemy. Well, not yet. But I need to keep everyone close right now, until I know for sure that they’re not involved in this. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this line of work, it’s that you never really know what a man’s capable of. Not even someone you think you know well.
“Thank you for spending the night,” I tell Paige as I drop her off at her house.
“It was more pleasant than I was expecting. Thank you for having me,” she says quietly.
I lean in and kiss her cheek. She blushes, and I love the way I affect her.
“Enjoy your day off. Make sure you set your alarm system,” I remind her.
“I know. I will. See you tomorrow.”
She steps out, opens the back door to grab her bag, and rushes to her front door.
I wanted to spend more time with her today, but since I have to meet with Sway before our meeting with Winston, time with Paige will have to wait.
“Welcome, my boy,” Winston says, ushering me and Sway into his house.
My house is large, but this is a fucking mansion. I know some people might think that about my place, but I think you could fit two of my houses in this one.
“Thanks for inviting me. I’m sorry if I disappoint you, though. I don’t have any new information,” I say as I sit down.
A chick with her tits falling out of her dress brings me a drink.
“Oh, we aren’t here to discuss how your hunt is going. We’re here so I can congratulate you,” he tells me.
I stare at him. I have no idea what he’s getting at.
“Although I would have thought you would come to me personally to tell me you’ve claimed a woman.”
He’s talking about Paige.
I feel my back stiffen. I publicly claimed her so the word would get out, yet for some reason, it’s still upsetting that he’s talking about her. Is it the tone of his voice? The look in his eyes? Whatever it is, I don’t like it, and I trust him even less now than I did before.
“I’m sorry. It’s all still so new,” I say, trying to keep my calm.
“Of course. I just want to make sure you aren’t going soft on us. You know women can make men weak. Are you weak, Donovan?”
I straighten my shoulders, and my jaw ticks. “You know I’m not a weak man. And frankly, the fact that you’re even questioning that is an insult. If that’s all this little meeting is, I think I’ll be going.”
“Sit down, Donovan,” he bites out as I stand to leave.
I listen and clench my fists, really wanting to pull my gun on him.
“I don’t care about you getting pussy. But this public claim on a woman seems like something more. You’re supposed to be getting to the bottom of all this shit going on in the city. If this woman you’ve claimed starts fucking with your head, that’s bad for me. And you know I get rid of shit that’s bad for me.”
Anger courses through my veins. Who does he think he is? What gives him the right to say whether or not I can claim a woman? He may run things around here, but he isn’t my boss. Not anymore.
“Nothing prevents me from doing my job.” I stand again, this time pointing my finger in his face. “If you threaten her again, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
He laughs, pushing my hand out of his face, while the whore sitting on his lap kisses his neck. “Has this woman made you stupid? Don’t you fucking threaten me. You’ll do good to remember who taught you everything you know.”
“It wasn’t a threat, Winston. It was a fucking promise. And you may have taken me in when my dad died, but he taught me everything I know. You were just a means to an end.
“We both want whoever is running the sex trafficking ring shut down, but I’m beginning to think we want it for different reasons. You may be one of the men who run this city, but you can be taken down like any of them. Don’t forget who does your dirty work, Winston. When was the last time you killed a man? Oh, right. Never. You use men like me and my father to do that.
“Now, I’m only going to say this once. Paige is off limits. If you so much as look at her, I’ll blow your head off.”
And with that, I walk out, knowing I just declared war.
Winston is no longer in my corner, but I hope Sway is. I can do this on my own if I have to, but it will be easier if I have help.
Once we take Marcus, we’ll have answers. And I get the feeling I’m not going to like hearing them.
Sway and I already have a plan. But if Sway isn’t on my side, he may tell Winston, and I could be up shit creek without a paddle.
“Well, that wasn’t how I thought tonight was going to go,” Sway says, catching up to me.
“Me either. I don’t want to talk here,” I tell him before continuing to walk to my car.
Sway hops on his motorcycle and follows behind me. I guess he’s made his allegiance clear.
“Do you think it’s a smart decision to cut ties with Winston?” I ask Sway when we get to my house.
He shrugs. “You know I’ve been getting closer with the bikers. I fucking hate the suits. The brothers will have my back if I need them. I even think they might want to shut this shit down with us. They normally keep their noses out of stuff like this, but if they know a war is coming, they’ll want in.”
I walk to my liquor cabinet and grab the bourbon, pouring us each a bit.
Sway takes his glass and nods his thanks. “Winston always treated me like the dirt on the bottom of his shoes. Yeah, he took me in, hired me when I needed a job, taught me in the ins and outs of this world, but I was never going anywhere with him and I knew that. That’s why I bought the garage. I used the idea of a front as an excuse. But the real plan was always to get away from him. I’ve been cutting my ties one day at a time. You were born into this life. I’m happy you were able to hold on to your father’s legacy and keep the lifestyle you were used to, but that’s not me, man. I don’t want a mansion; I want to ride. And I want to trust more than one or two men. My brothers, I can actually trust.”
I nod. I never wanted to have anyone close to me. I could never trust anyone enough to let them in. But Sway has proven that you can actually trust some people. That not everyone is looking to stab you in the back. There are still some okay people out there. And for that, he’s earned my trust and respect.
“Once this is all over with, if you need anything, I’ll be here for you. You want out of dealing with the suits? Done. You need money? Done. You have my respect and loyalty. You’re the brother I never had,” I tell him.
I think normal people would probably hug at this moment, but we just toast our glasses instead and each take a healthy swig.
“Do you think Winston knows who’s behind this?” I ask Sway.
He shakes his head. “Nah. The way he got mad that you might be distracted with Paige means he’s grasping at straws. If he was in on this and knew more, he’d be happy about a possible distraction. Marcus wants them shut down because his money is running dry. The people who used to buy from him aren’t anymore.”
“That makes a lot of sense. Does Tuesday still work for taking Marcus? We have the cover and Kyle has been tracking him. I’m hoping it’ll be a straightforward kidnapping. But nothing has been straightforward lately.”
“Tuesday works, but what about Paige? Are you bringing her back here at all this week? We can’t kill Marcus right away, and it could be weeks before he gives us any useful information. And even when we get it, we can’t kill him until this is over, just in case he’s holding back. He could be in your dungeon for months. What if Paige finds him?”
I’ve been thinking this over for a while now. Even though it’s risky to keep him locked in my basement because of Paige, it’s the only place to hold him.
“I trust her,” I tell Sway honestly. “I don’t know why, but I know she won’t go exploring without me. Besides, the room is soundproof. He could scream all day and no one would hear him.”
“Leanne talks about her a lot. She sounds like a good person.”
I smirk, and Sway rolls his eyes.
“It’s nothing. We just like to fuck, okay?” he groans.
I laugh. “That’s what they all say. Do you think she’s going to want to be your biker bitch?”
He shakes his head and grabs a coaster off the table to throw at my head.
“It actually feels freeing to not be under Winston’s thumb anymore,” Sway says after a couple minutes of comfortable silence.
I nod. “He’s only ever cared about himself. And he made it very clear that he wants Paige out of the picture. That isn’t happening, but that also means I want her moving in soon. Once we get Marcus, then we need to make a plan to get Paige to move in.”
“I have an idea,” he says with a mischievous smile.
I don’t know if I’m going to like this idea or not. But I’ve got nothing, so I listen to what he has to say.
“I don’t know anything!” Marcus screams.
I punch him in his mouth with my brass knuckles, watching the blood splatter. He spits in my face, but I’m not even mad. I smear the blood on my cheek and laugh.
“Who hired you to hire me?” I demand.
He doesn’t answer; he just glares at me.
I take off the brass knuckles, then pick up a pair of bolt cutters and smile as I stare at the shiny metal. When I turn my attention back to Marcus, his eyes go wide and he shakes his head.
“Don’t do this, Donovan. I’ve been so good to you,” he begs.
I shake my head. “Oh, Marcus. Lying isn’t acceptable, so I have to teach you a lesson.”
