Monster In The Shadows: A stand-alone dark romance, page 10
Me: Next week.
Sway: Excellent.
I slide my phone back in my pocket. I know we’ll have to get together and make a plan, but we’ll get our answers soon enough. I feel it in my bones.
“Are you ready for tonight?” I ask Paige, pulling out of the library parking lot.
Leanne is staring at us with a grin, so I give her a small wave as I drive away.
“I guess so. I don’t exactly know what to expect, except that you said I would be cooking.”
I smile and nod. “My kitchen should be completely stocked with whatever you need, but if you think I won’t have something let me know now and I’ll call for someone to stop by the store and get it.”
She looks at me like I have two heads. “Why wouldn’t we just go?”
“Because I pay people for a reason. I don’t like doing pointless things like grocery shopping.”
She turns and stares out the window, not saying anything else. Did I offend her?
“Are you upset?” I ask after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.
“No,” she bites out, I think harsher than she intended. “Sorry. I’m just not used to it. My mama worked hard for everything we had. It’s challenging raising a child by yourself. Yes, she was a doctor, but we weren’t rolling in money. I never had people to do things for us. I mean, we lived a comfortable life. We weren’t poor, but your level of extravagance isn’t something I’m used to.”
That’s understandable. I was raised this way. My father held our family to very high standards. He figured he was a king among bad men. Every man who rises to the top in my world feels like he’s untouchable.
But even kings fall. No one is untouchable. It just takes time to take them out. It’s why I’ve never wanted to be at the top. I like what I do, and I have less people who want to kill me than those at the top do.
“Do you get lonely?” Paige asks, throwing me off-guard.
“Why would I be lonely?” I wonder.
“I don’t know. You live alone in a giant house. Yes, you have maids and chefs and all of that, but doesn’t it get lonely not being close to anyone? Do you have family?”
The mention of my family makes my blood run cold. I don’t think about them often.
“My family is dead,” I state matter-of-factly.
She covers her mouth and gasps. “I’m so sorry. I just assumed you weren’t close or something.”
“It’s fine. It happened a long time ago. You’re right. I’m not close to anyone. I’m not lonely; I’m safe. I have people I trust, but trust is limited with me. If you have people you’re close with, they can be used against you. I’ve never wanted that.”
“Then why do you want me?” she asks quietly, her voice trembling a little.
“I’ve been asking myself that a lot. And the best answer I can give you is, you’re special, even if you don’t know it. I shouldn’t want you, but I do. And now that you’re mine, I will protect you with my life. If you are the reason I die, what a wonderful way to go.”
I wish I wasn’t driving so I could actually see her face clearly. Because that’s the truth, and I wish I could know how she feels about it.
I stare out the window with Donovan’s words rolling around in my head.
I should tell him I’m a virgin. No one wants a twenty-seven-year-old virgin.
I’m weak. Timid. There is no way I can survive in his world. He’s going to die because of me. I don’t want that on my conscience.
You are stronger than you know, a voice in my head tells me.
“What’s your favorite dish?” I ask, trying to change the subject back to something lighter.
“Whatever you want.”
I roll my eyes. That is the worst answer ever.
“Do you have lamb chops?” I ask, knowing he probably doesn’t. It’s not a staple most people keep in their houses.
“Yes, actually. I haven’t had lamb in forever, and I’ve been craving it.”
I smile. “Me either, but it’s one of my favorites. I watched a lot of Food Network when Mama was sick, and I found this amazing lamb recipe. I know you’re going to love it.”
He nods. I’ve learned that he does that a lot. He is a man of few words, but the words he does choose pack a punch.
I like the fact that he actually thinks before he speaks. I wish I had that talent. Usually, I just blurt out whatever comes to mind. Most of the time, it’s not appropriate, and it has gotten me into trouble more than once.
“I’ll pair it with steamed veggies and a rice pilaf,” I tell him.
That makes him smile. “That sounds amazing, Paige. I’m looking forward to it. Are you hungry? Does it take long to cook? Or do you have time to hang out with me for a bit?”
“Between all the food and prep, I’ll be pretty busy, but we could hang out afterward.”
“I would like that.”
Donovan is an extremely hard man to read. He exudes this sense of control. Anyone would listen to him. I bet women are constantly at his beck and call. Which again makes me wonder, why me?
I know I’m pretty, but I’m not exceptional. I don’t fit into his world, or even his life. Am I just someone that caught his eye, and he wants to see if he can break me? Yes, he cares about me, but for how long? Will he get bored with me when I won’t sleep with him? Worse, will he throw me to the curb once he finds out I’m a virgin?
We pull into the driveway, and he grabs my bag from the backseat.
“I’ll put your bag in your room. Do you want to change or start the lamb now?” he asks.
Why is he so caring right now? He’s constantly changing, and I just don’t know how to handle it. He’s barely asked anything of me except for our evenings together and now my overnight visit. I mean, I can’t even argue, especially because he’s been so kind.
He asks about my day. He listens to my answers. From the outside looking in, he’s the perfect boyfriend. But I know what he really does for a living. I know he kills people. I know he likes control. And I know one day I’m going to piss him off. Honestly, I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to live like this.
“I’ll start dinner,” I say, and make my way to the kitchen.
“I’ll be in my office if you need anything,” he tells me before walking away.
Before I start, I pull my phone and headphones out of my purse. I like to cook to music, and since I’m alone now, it will be great to get lost in a good tune.
Pulling out the ingredients, I start preparing the dishes. This kitchen is everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve read tons of books and watched so many shows that have made it one of my dreams to have a chef’s kitchen, but I never thought I would actually be cooking in one.
Dan and Shay’s words of tasting tequila fill my ears. I wish I could relate more to the lyrics, but I’ve never been in a relationship long enough to have one thing that makes me think of them. I can’t help but wonder, when whatever this is with Donovan ends, if it’s going to leave a stain on my heart.
I’m lost in the music and the food when a large hand lands on my shoulder.
“Fuck!” I scream, throwing the spoon and turning to see a very amused Donovan. I take some deep breaths, trying to return my heart rate to normal. “You damn near gave me a heart attack.”
“You are a jumpy thing, aren’t you?” he asks, trying not to laugh at me.
I narrow my eyes at him. “It’s not nice to sneak up on people.”
“I called your name twice. Maybe don’t have your music so loud. You’re a good singer, by the way.”
I feel my chest and cheeks heat. Fuck. Was I singing? I’m definitely not a great singer.
“I’m sorry. I got lost in everything I was doing. This kitchen is amazing. I wish I had something like this in my house. Although it’s bigger than my kitchen and living room combined.”
“Why don’t you move in, then? You could use it whenever you want.”
I know he means well, but I’m getting sick of this push to get me to move in with him.
“You know my answer,” I tell him flatly. “Dinner will be ready soon. Are you done with your work?”
I’ve noticed I ask for permission a lot with Donovan, probably because I know he likes it. It’s funny how after I gave myself an attitude check, everything changed.
“Yes, all done for now. Do you want help finishing up?”
I shake my head. “Why don’t you set the table? Or do you pay someone to do that too?”
He smirks and shakes his head.
“I like your sass,” he states before grabbing two plates.
“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” I ask after putting the last dish away.
“I may not pay someone to set my table, but I do pay them to clean. You didn’t have to do that,” Donovan says for the hundredth time.
“I know, but I was raised to clean up after myself. It doesn’t feel right for someone else to clean up a mess I made.”
“Why don’t you change into your bathing suit and meet me back here?”
“Is it warm enough for a swim?”
He grins. “Do as you’re told and change. Don’t question me.”
I take a deep breath and move up the stairs. I’m full of questions. Always. I was the girl that frustrated the teachers in school by questioning everything. I think that’s why I love books so much. I get all the information my brain craves. The more knowledge, the better.
I strip out of my clothes and pull on my sexy red bikini. It looks amazing against my tan skin, and I think Donovan will approve.
Normally I would wear a cover-up. I love my body, but I don’t like attention. Thankfully, it’s just Donovan, and I want him to look at me.
I’ve wanted him to kiss me again ever since the night of our fight, but he hasn’t. I don’t even know why I want him to kiss me. I don’t want to sleep with him, and I don’t want him to think I’m a tease. All my exes have called me that. I guess if you kiss a man, it’s mandatory to sleep with them or you’re just playing with their fragile emotions. It shouldn’t have to be like that. Why is everything about sex? Can’t there be intimacy in other ways? Or do only women think like that?
I slowly walk down the stairs, and when I get to the bottom, Donovan is standing there in only a pair of board shorts. His chest is bare, and oh, my God, those abs. I trip on the last stair, catapulting myself directly into his arms.
He chuckles, standing me up. “Be careful. I want to take you for a swim, not to the hospital.”
I giggle. “Sorry. I missed the last step. I was distracted.”
He raises a brow at me. “Like what you see?”
I bite my lip and nod.
He takes a step, closing the small distance between us. He lowers his head, and he’s definitely going to kiss me, but I panic.
“So, where’s the pool?” I ask after stepping back.
He narrows his eyes at me for a minute before letting out a small sigh and taking my hand. “This way.”
What the fuck is wrong with you, Paige?
All I can think about when I’m alone is his kiss, but then when he goes to kiss me, I act like the virgin I am and pull away.
He leads me down a hall to a set of stairs, and I freeze for a moment.
“Um, did you mean murder dungeon instead of pool? I get how you could confuse the two. But I would like to not die tonight if it’s alright with you,” I say, not moving from the doorway.
“It’s an indoor pool,” he tells me. “Come on. You’ll love it.”
Once I get down the stairs, I freeze as I take in the breathtaking area.
There is a long pool that’s perfect for swimming laps, if that’s what you’re into. Of course, my eyes land on the hot tub, and I feel jumpy, wanting to get in it so bad. Across the room is another room with glass walls facing the pool. It looks like a gym. I guess it makes sense. Donovan very clearly works out. I mean, you don’t get abs like that by lying on the couch and eating potato chips.
Once I get closer to a pool, I see a sauna close to where I’m standing. That would be really nice to relax in as well. If you couldn’t tell, I’m a girl who likes to relax. Swimming laps and lifting weights is pretty much last on my list of things I want to do. I’m just thankful for my high metabolism. Mama said I got it from my dad. Guess he gave me one good thing in life.
Donovan walks to the far end of the pool that a diving board is attached to, and everything kind of sinks in. Who the fuck has a giant pool and gym in their house like this?
He climbs up onto the diving board and does a perfect dive.
Okay, that was hot.
I don’t move; I just stare as he strokes gracefully over to where I’m standing.
“Come on, swim a couple laps with me,” he says, reaching out his hand.
I eye it as if it has razors attached. “I’m good. I think I’m going to go sit in the hot tub. You have fun.”
I start to walk away, and he grips my ankle hard.
“I wasn’t asking, Paige,” he says in that tone that tells me he means business.
If I walk away, I know a punishment is coming, but if I get in the pool, I’m going to have to swim laps, and that sounds like punishment on its own.
“I’m not a working out kind of girl,” I answer honestly, scrunching up my nose a bit.
“Well, that is going to change. You need to be in good shape. I’m going to be your fitness coach, and your first challenge is to swim twenty laps with me.”
My legs feel sore just from the mention of twenty laps.
“Aren’t you supposed to wait thirty minutes before swimming after eating?” I ask, trying to stall.
“You washed every dish. It’s been an hour. And besides, you barely ate anything. You’ll be fine.”
“Can I just sit on the edge and kick my feet?” I suggest as a poor alternative.
“Paige,” he says, his tone almost menacing. “Get your ass in this pool. Now.”
I sigh and grab onto the ladder, slowly lowering myself into the water. It’s fucking freezing.
“How are you not blue? Why do you keep the pool so cold?” I ask, shivering.
He laughs, and I kind of want to kick him.
“It’s not that cold. If it was any warmer, it would suck to swim in. You’ll warm up soon enough.”
Once I reach the bottom step of the ladder, I reach my foot out to touch the bottom and realize too late that I can’t touch the bottom. My head is under before I realize what’s happening. I quickly bob back up and Donovan is laughing so hard that he swims over to the ledge to support himself.
“Did you not see me treading water? What good would a lap pool be if you could touch the bottom?” he asks, still laughing, and I seriously want to punch him.
I reach out and support myself with the wall of the pool. “Listen here, mister billionaire. I don’t swim often, and I guess I just wasn’t fucking thinking. Not all of us have the luxury of having a pool in our house.”
I’m already getting used to the temperature, especially now that I’m completely soaked. Good thing I thought to remove my makeup before coming down here.
“I better get a fucking reward of at least an hour in the hot tub after this,” I tell Donovan, who is finally composing himself.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so carefree. Yes, he smiles at me often, but this is a whole new side of him. I wonder if he would be more like this if he didn’t live in the world he lives in. The world I’m now a part of.
“If you do all of the laps without complaining, I will reward you,” he says, and one eyebrow raises slightly.
I’ve always wanted to be able to raise just one eyebrow but could never figure it out. I look up at my eyebrows and try again, but I don’t think I’m doing it right.
“What are you doing?” Donovan asks, pulling me from my failed attempts.
“Nothing,” I spit out, trying to act casual. “I said I would do the laps. I never said anything about not complaining. I like to complain. If complaining were an Olympic sport, I would win gold.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You don’t strike me as that much of a complainer. Are you a ‘may I speak with the manager’ kind of woman?”
I laugh and shake my head. “Fair. I’m not that bad.”
Donovan swims over to where I am and places his arms on either side of me. He leans into my neck and takes a big inhale.
“Even with the chlorine, you still smell like fruit. I like it,” he whispers into my ear.
I close my eyes and try to even my breathing, feeling like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. Why is that so hot?
He pulls away from me and swims toward the other wall a bit, giving us distance to swim side-by-side.
“Twenty laps. Swim to the far wall and back. That is one lap. Do that twenty times.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot. I know what you want me to do. I just don’t want to do it. Why exactly do I have to start getting into shape? I’m not that kind of person.”
“You’re a part of my world now, and that means you will be in more danger. I need to know you can run away if you have to, or better yet, fight if you need to.”
My breath catches at the idea of fighting. Would I be able to fight anyone off if they tried to take me? Probably not. I’m not in any kind of shape. I’m only skinny thanks to good genes.
“And how is swimming going to help with that?” I ask like the smart-ass I am.
“It will build up your stamina. It’s an easy cardio that doesn’t put any pressure on your joints.”
“Okay. I’m about as ready as I’ll ever be. Do I have to swim fast?” I ask, because I’m kind of an idiot when it comes to this stuff.
He shakes his head. “Don’t try to race me. Just swim at a steady pace for you. If you push yourself too hard, you won’t be able to finish the laps. There are water bottles set up by the diving board if you need some. It’s okay to take a break if you need it. You aren’t in shape, so this is going to be a challenge, but I think you can do it. I’ll help correct your form if I need to, but swim a few laps and I’ll watch.”
I take a deep breath and eye the end of the pool. I can do this.
