“Tell me about him,” Crosby said.

  “What?”

  “Tell me everything,” he said.

  He took me by the hand and walked me back to the fire. It looked dead, but all he had to do was put some fresh logs into the embers and stir it up a little for the flames to kick back up.

  Then he sat next to me.

  “I ruined our trip,” I said.

  “No, you didn’t. You needed this trip.”

  “This isn’t what you think, Cros. This isn’t some love story, okay? This is… bad.”

  “Bad?”

  “Denny died in a car accident because he was drunk.”

  “Shit.”

  I nodded. “That’s all he ever did. He would drink. He would get angry. He would… he would sleep around.”

  Crosby placed his hand into my hand. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not. I was in this world… I had gotten close to his mother. She lived the life I was going to live. His father was a bad alcoholic too. He used to hit his wife. But Denny never hit me. I wouldn’t stand for that. But I stood for other abuse, Cros. He would get so mad over nothing. And he would throw things. Break things. Then leave. I don’t know if that was his excuse to drink or what… but I would clean up these messes and then go find him. I knew all the bartenders in town, okay? They knew me. They knew what I was doing. I was fucking pathetic. I still am.”

  “You’re not pathetic, Josie,” Crosby said. “You loved him. You wanted to help him.”

  “No. That’s the thing… his mother had connections to an art gallery. So, I think I stayed with the hopes of becoming a famous artist. And then… I don’t know.”

  “I’m sure you did whatever you had to do in that situation. I don’t think leaving someone like that is easy to do.”

  “I was going to, Cros. I was. His mother started talking about marriage and kids.”

  “With you?” he asked.

  “Yeah. She tried to convince me that marrying Denny and having kids would calm him down. Because apparently it calmed down Denny’s father for a little while. In my heart I knew that was crazy. We had this deal, right? Before that, he got so drunk one night he got beaten up. It was pretty bad. The bartender called me to come get him. Some guy dragged Denny out back to keep him from getting killed. After that, Denny said he was going to clean himself up. I believed him. He wanted me to stop smoking. His grandmother died of cancer and that was a big thing for him. So, I agreed. So then our relationship was built around us keeping these promises to each other. It didn’t take long for Denny to break his promise. And it was always the same thing. One drink. Then two. Then three. Watching that train fall off the tracks. I found out he was with another woman again, and that was it for me. I went to the store and got a pack of cigarettes. And I smoked them so hard.” I let out a weak laugh. “And I was going to break up with him. I wanted the control for once, Cros. That was it. I wanted it.”

  Crosby nodded. He squeezed my hand. “You didn’t get to break up with him, did you?”

  I shut my eyes and shook my head. “No. The night I was going to do it… he died. He died in some sick and tragic way. Everyone was so sad. I was so sad. Of course we were sad. He wasn’t exactly a bad person. He just did bad things. And those bad things took him. But I wanted to say it to him. I wanted to look him in the eyes and tell him I was done. I wanted him to feel the way I felt. I never got to do that, Cros. I was left stranded. Just standing there, stuck between anger and grief. Nobody really knowing how I felt.”

  “That’s a lot to carry with you, Josie,” Crosby said.

  “I know. When I moved in with Corey and Kait, I just painted pictures of him. Over and over. Trying to figure it out. What to do. How to do it. And I was just… there. Until I met you.”

  “We were meant to run into each other, love,” he said. “Run…”

  I laughed. “Now you sound like Kait.”

  “Do you want me to light some leaves on fire and sacrifice them to the moon?” he asked.

  “Shut up,” I said.

  I playfully punched his stomach and blinked away a tear.

  “That’s not everything, Crosby,” I said.

  I broke away from him and stood up. I paced back and forth.

  “Tell me everything, love,” he said.

  I looked back at him. “He wanted to marry me… and I would have said yes.”

  * * *

  I froze in place and stared at Crosby. I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want him to not understand how I felt. I didn’t want him to leave.

  “Josie, that’s a lot to carry on your own,” he said. He reached his right hand out for me. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. All of it. Loving someone who wasn’t perfect for you.”

  I slowly nodded. “I was a fool, Cros. A stupid fool. I told myself I would never let that kind of thing happen. And I did. There were so many nights…”

  He wiggled his fingers and I touched his hand.

  We were then in silence.

  Until I pulled at him.

  I did not have the strength to actually pull Crosby to his feet. But he rose up anyway for me. Towering over me. The heat of the fire was nothing compared to the heat coming off his body as he inched closer to me.

  “What do you need from me right now, love?” he asked. “I can be anything you want.”

  “What if I just want you to hold me? Be… a friend?”

  “Then I’ll be that. I’ll be your best girlfriend or whatever.” Crosby smirked. “We can make more marshmallows and talk about boys. And our changing bodies.”

  I shut my eyes and laughed.

  I wasn’t in the mood to laugh but Crosby made me.

  I slipped my hands around his body and put my head to his chest.

  Very slowly, Crosby rocked left to right.

  His large hands spread wide across my back.

  After only a few seconds, I looked up. I studied the way Crosby’s scruffy chin was so defined. My artist eyes memorizing cuts and lines, envisioning painting him. But the eyes that connected to my heart - and other places - saw something much different.

  I broke away from the hug and took his hand.

  My eyes were then set on the tent.

  I pulled. He followed.

  I dropped the blanket and was wearing nothing but an old, baggy t-shirt and a pair of black panties. Crosby was in jeans and a wrinkly gray t-shirt. I could mostly stand in the tent, but he couldn’t. Even on his knees, he still had to hunch over.

  Tall. Big. Strong.

  Mine.

  My body began to ache. And I wasn’t sure if the reasons were exactly right or wrong, but at least I was with Crosby. At least I wasn’t seeking this kind of comfort in the arms of a stranger after having a few drinks to take away the edge. Because Crosby was the edge and I kept running toward it and wanting to go over it.

  I fell to my knees and started to breathe heavily. I swallowed hard as I grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt and took it off.

  “Josie,” Crosby’s deep voice growled.

  I reached forward and pulled at the top of his jeans.

  Crosby took his shirt off and crawled toward me on his knees. His hands touched my sides, sending tingling pulses up and down my body. My toes curled behind me and I sucked in a breath. As his fingertips crept to the front of my body, I shivered. My nipples tightened and hardened, primed for his fingers, hands, mouth…

  “Is this what you do with all your friends?” Crosby asked as he lowered his mouth to mine.

  We kissed. Deep. Slow. Oh, so fucking slow…

  The way he kissed me made my hips thrust with a deep need.

  His left hand eased over my right breast. I sighed into his mouth and broke the kiss to look down and see him touching me. His hand engulfing my entire breast. Feeling the tenderness of my nipple rubbing against his palm. I bit my lip and let my head fall back, begging for more without saying a word.

  With his right hand, Crosby inched down and dipped his fingertips into the front of my panties. He wasted no time in rounding my most seductive curve, pressing against my already damp skin, making small, circular motions, coaxing the petals of my flower to bloom against his touch. I slid my knees against the sleeping bag, giving more of myself to him, fighting against the resistance of my own panties.

  When I exhaled a deep breath, it was thrown right back into my face thanks to being in a tent. It was already warm, stuffy, the smell of our skin and my body lingering.

  Crosby’s lips touched my neck.

  I jumped.

  He quickly moved his hand from my chest around to my back. He pulled me tight against his chest. My breasts pressing against muscle. He rubbed his nose against my neck, sucking in a breath, only to release it at my ear. Tickling and torturing me at the same time.

  Between my legs, he flirted with me. His fingers making bigger circles, my body throbbing for more of him. When he curled his fingers and pressed, I jumped again, groaning.

  “You feel perfect, love,” he whispered into my ear.

  Before I could say anything back, he thrust his fingers harder, twisting them, stealing my breath and replacing it with an instant and intense pleasure.

  My hands clutched to the sides of his body. There was nothing to grab onto, so I used my nails to get some kind of traction.

  As his fingers took their time taking care of me, he moved his hand down my back and pulled at the top of my panties. It was an awkward wrestling kind of thing that ensued as I wiggled my hips and lifted my knees, letting him strip me naked. While the entire time he didn’t stop moving his touch between my legs.

  I was able to open my legs more for him.

  He drove his fingers deep inside me and held. Touching places some women believed didn’t actually exist. But they did. And Crosby knew where those places were and what to do. My hands began to touch the top of his jeans, inching their way toward the button. That’s when Crosby used his thumb and pressed against another place on my body that made me instantly freeze. My fingers curled around his jeans and my toes curled tighter than ever.

  He put his forehead to mine, our eyes locked tight.

  His thumb slowly moved up and down my clit, keeping enough pressure that I couldn’t find a full breath to take.

  “Keep going, love,” he ordered me.

  I wanted to order him to do the same thing.

  My lips quivered as I ached for a kiss. But Crosby left me hanging, my body’s entire focus on what he was doing to me between my legs. My hips rocked back and forth, and Crosby chased me down. He pressed harder against my sensitive nub, pushing me closer to the edge. My breathing became more and more wild. I felt like the tent was starting to spin. The muscles of my legs locked up and I drove forward, hard against his touch, as I felt that last surge of pleasure attack from within my core.

  I tried to make a sound, but that was the moment Crosby finally kissed me.

  I cried out into his mouth but that didn’t faze him a bit. He kissed me hard and fast as my body ached and I came. He stayed with me, knowing how fast to go, when to slow, but he never took his touch from me.

  Instead, he kept going, already hinting that we weren’t finished just yet.

  I melted into him, breaking the kiss, my lips kissing his chest, searching for more relief than he had already given me.

  “You’re everything to me, Josie,” he whispered. “No matter what has happened or what will happen, I want you to know that.”

  He touched the back of my leg with his free hand and pulled. In a quick move, Crosby led me down to the sleeping bag, putting me on my back. He was then over me, protecting me without needing or trying to. I trusted him with everything… well beyond my body.

  I melted into the sleeping bag, the lower half of my body jittery with so much still happening inside me. His fingers continued to touch me, gently sliding up and down against my slit, never giving me a second to catch my breath.

  Crosby opened his jeans and pushed them down enough to show me what touching me had done to him. The sight of his bare, full, hard thickness made me bite my bottom lip so hard, I thought I was going to draw blood. He was beautiful and ready, and he didn’t hesitate for a second as he moved toward me. I dug my heels into the sleeping bag as I felt the touch of his fingers move down to my inner thigh. It was replaced with the touch of his body. The swell of his cock touching me, giving me half a second before he sank into me.

  I cried out with pleasure and needed relief as Crosby took himself to the hilt. There he held himself, his eyes then setting their sights on me one more time. I watched as his eyes scanned from my eyes, down my body, and slowly back up.

  He moved down, slowly pressing his body to mine, his lips kissing my left shoulder. The move made me lose my breath, among other things he was doing to me. As he pulled his hips back with calm and perfect precision, my mouth fell open and I couldn’t blink, my body built up with so much anticipation for that first real thrust.

  When Crosby gave it to me, I slapped my hands to his back, crying out again.

  He kissed from my shoulder to my neck. He began to fuck harder. He kissed from my neck to my lips, where he just held there, not kissing me. And he began to fuck even harder. We were a sweaty mess of hot breaths and hotter glances.

  The only time we kissed was when we both finished together.

  31

  His Words to You…

  NOW

  Crosby

  It might have been the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

  Well, maybe the second, it was a tough debate.

  I woke up and watched Josie sleeping on her back, her hair a mess, spread out behind her, the sleeping bag resting just above the swell of her breasts. Her right arm was up, and it looked as though she was about to bite on her thumbnail. Her skin smelled warm and sweet, a mix of nature, sleep, and what we had done the night before.

  I let her sleep as I packed up everything I could.

  What challenged the sight of that, was seeing Josie cuddled up in the front seat of my truck. Her hair still a mess, but wearing my hoodie, which was three times the size of her body, her legs sticking out of the bottom of it, giving the appearance that she wasn’t wearing anything under it. Wearing a pair of pink socks that came up to her ankles that rested on the dashboard of my truck.

  She had her hands hidden in the sleeves of my hoodie, and when she looked at me, her eyes were laced with love, sleep, and sex. And that combination was beyond deadly.

  When I got into the truck and reached to put the truck into drive, Josie reached out and touched my hand.

  “Wait, Cros,” she whispered. “Before we leave. I think everything needs to be said. I want to leave it here.”

  “Leave what here?” I asked.

  “What I said last night,” she said.

  I nodded. “Josie, I meant what I said about what you went through. You never got the ending you wanted and deserved.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not just that, Cros. I mean, yeah, I had it all worked out and he ended up dying. That in itself is such a mess. But I let it all… I almost lost Corey over it. And that meant losing Kait and Meadow. Corey isn’t the rough and tough brother I needed. He’s my little brother. I was the rough and tough one. I paved the way for him. Through my dumb stuff in life, he came out on top. Which is good. He’s a good person. A good husband and father. And while Kait is a little out there, her heart means well.”

  “I see that,” I said. “I wouldn’t think anything less of them.”

  “My point is that I almost lost them because of Denny. But then Corey showed up at the exact moment I needed him. Without me asking. I know it’s not my business, Cros, but I can’t help but wonder about you and your sister.”

  I felt a tightening in my chest.

  I let out a sigh.

  “I’m sorry,” Josie whispered. “I just wanted to say that. If she’s calling you, maybe it’s for good reason. Time is so weird…”

  “I know that, love,” I said. “I think about it all the time. Maybe the tables have turned this time though.” I looked at Josie. “Maybe I’m the one who isn’t ready. Seeing Cindi… Noah… the house…”

  “Of course,” Josie said. “I just wish I could make it go away for you.”

  I laughed. “You have your own pain to wish away.”

  “Can we do that, Cros? Can we wish each other’s pain away?”

  “We can wish for anything,” I said. “But I don’t know if wishes actually come true or not. I think you have to get out there and let fate do its thing.”

  “I hate that. I hate fate.”

  “Me too, love,” I said. “Me too.”

  I put the truck into drive and started to move forward as Josie touched my hand. “I’m not done yet.”

  I put the truck in park. “You could have talked to me last night.”

  Josie grinned. “We were busy.”

  “That we were,” I said.

  Her cheeks flushed. Then she quickly looked down. She played with her hands. “When I said about Denny wanting to marry me. That just happened.”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t know he wanted to marry me.” Josie lifted her gaze to me. “His mother showed up.”

  “His mother?” I asked.

  “I was sort of close to her. I already told you that. She had been talking about us getting married and having kids. But I didn’t want to get trapped in that life. I guess at some point Denny bought an engagement ring. He hid it and then he died.”

  “Whoa,” I said.

  “Yeah,” Josie said. “Whoa. His mother just started going through his stuff and she found it. She brought it to me. It was her attempt to show me how much Denny did love me. She always insisted that the good was more than the bad.”

  “So, you have the ring now?”

  “Not with me now,” she said. “But, yeah, I have it.”

  “You took the ring from her.”

  “She left it.”

  “And that’s what you meant by you would have said yes,” I said to Josie.

  “I love you, Crosby,” she whispered. “I promise you. I love you. I just… I don’t know sometimes. Everything that happened and the way it happened.”

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32