GETTING OVER YOU: a novel by:, page 17
I moved up her body, nuzzling my nose over her shirt and not stopping until I reached the swell of her breasts. I teased her as much as I could, which was just me teasing myself.
Her hips bucked harder and faster, matching the speed of my hand.
She finally lowered her back down to the bed and looked at me.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered in a breathless voice.
“I never would,” I said back to her.
I lowered my lips to her neck and quickly kissed up to her ear.
“Fuck, love, you feel amazing,” I growled into her ear. “I can’t wait to feel all of you.”
Josie rushed to grab the back of my shirt. She let out a louder sighing cry. Her hips drove up harder against my hand as I controlled her pleasure. I had her on the edge and I wasn’t going to play any games with her.
She made another bold move as she turned her head just enough to nibble at my ear. When she did, I grunted and caught myself thrusting at her. The bulge inside my jeans impossible to hide.
“Oh, Crosby… fuck…”
“Right now, love,” I growled into her ear. “Right now.”
I pulled my fingers back and slammed them forward.
Josie cried out, her wild voice bouncing off the walls of the bedroom.
Every muscle in her lower body tightened as she held there.
I felt her cresting, the climax of her pleasure exploding.
Josie pulled at my shirt, pulling it up as she pulled her body tighter against mine. She let out whimpers and cries, biting at my shoulder, at my shirt, over and over as I felt her core throbbing with relief.
The moment she started to catch her breath, she wasted no time in pulling harder at my shirt, wanting it off. I slipped down as my shirt went up, letting her take it off me. I peeled my fingers away from her sweet body, knowing there was much more to come.
With my shirt off, hovering over Josie, her hands touched my chest. Her nails scratched at me as her eyes burned with a wicked passion I didn’t know she had. A sweet madness that attracted me to Josie and now had me wanting more of her.
Her hands raced down my body, cutting right into my jeans. When she touched my hardness, I hissed. I used one hand to open my jeans and used that same hand to push them down, letting myself finally be free. Her hand touched my hard skin, following my full length from tip to root.
She whispered an oh sound before biting her lip.
She moved back on the bed a little and I moved after her, leaving my jeans to fall to the floor. Using my knees, I opened her legs again, closing in on her core.
When I touched her swollen center, I sucked in a breath and held it. She was far beyond ready again and having her wasn’t just a threat to the lower half of my body. She was a threat to my fucking heart too.
Josie touched the bottom of her shirt and started to lift as I lowered down, opening her again. This time it was much different. She stopped lifting her shirt as her back started to arch again. That instinctive feeling to seek release from the growing pressure, but there was none. Not until she came again. My right hand slapped against the side of her waist and I pulled at her as I thrust forward, taking myself to the hilt. Her insides shivered as she put her head back.
I told myself right there not to fuck anything up.
But I knew that was impossible for me to do.
* * *
Josie moved with deadly precision as she took her shirt and bra off. Her body wiggling as she balanced on her elbows and then sat straight up. I wrapped an arm around her and held her steady as I moved in and out of her. while she took her shirt off. Before her shirt could hit the bedroom floor, my fingers opened the clasp of her bra.
I then eased her back down to the bed and kept going.
Our bodies colliding, the sound echoing around us.
I kissed her neck and moved down, needing her chest.
Her skin was warm, perfect, soft and tender, leading me to her left breast and nipple. Her nipple was like a button, tiny and hard. I moved my mouth over her breast and took her into my mouth. I pulled away with a wet kissing sound.
My hands were then flat against the bed as I stayed with Josie, loving every inch of her body, feeling her pleasure building and cresting, over and over. She pulsed against me, pulling at me, tempting me to let go. I was beyond ready to, but I kept going.
Josie touched the backs of my arms and pulled.
I bent my elbows and put the tip of my nose to hers.
I stayed there, not kissing her, leaving the moment torturous as we exchanged breathing groans.
Josie put her hands to my back and kept them there. She wrapped her legs around my body and squeezed, making us as close as possible.
Our eyes battling between flirting, fucking, and going deeper with emotion.
I broke our stare and buried my face into the curve of her neck. I kissed her harder. I let my teeth graze her skin. Josie groaned, and I did it again. I wanted her to groan. I wanted the moment to be about the feeling. The fucking feeling of our bodies…
My hands traveled back down the sides of her body and I slipped around to her ass. I held her there, lifting her hips just enough, right where I wanted them. I moved faster, harder, the sounds of us together becoming louder than our thoughts. Her sweet and warm skin becoming laced with sweeter sweat. The moment building up and up and up to a point where there was no way to stop.
Josie cried out louder, her hands sliding from my back to my ass. She tried to arch her back again, but I pressed my body harder against her. We battled each other, top to bottom, until she finally looked at me, her eyes wide, almost angry. Her lips trembled before we kissed each other. Our lips slamming together with force. She instantly groaned, messing up the kiss, but I kept going. The kiss so sloppy but so needed.
I felt her body clenching one more time as she peaked again, and I went along with her. Deep within her core, the wild urge of relief washing over me.
Now I was the one who stopped kissing Josie as I hissed. Her hips rocked in a perfect motion and she playfully bit at my bottom lip as our moment continued.
And it stayed that way as I began to move again. Slowly pulling myself back. Slowly pressing forward. Guiding myself inside her body. Stealing kisses when she wasn’t stealing kisses from me.
I rubbed the tip of my nose against the tip of hers.
Josie placed the pointer finger of her left hand to my lips and slid them down to my chin. She kept taking deep breaths. And I knew it wasn’t just because of what we had done.
I lowered down to her neck and tasted her skin again. I moved down as I pulled away from her body. As I crested over her right breast, I gently kissed her nipple, watching her skin shiver and tighten.
Then she started to laugh, rolling to her right side.
She made me smile. That was for damn sure.
She made me…
Josie rolled up in my bed sheets, her hair messy, her eyes flirty.
I forced a smile as my mind told a different narrative.
I warned you not to fall for me, love… I warned you…
23
That One Picture…
NOW
Josie
It was dark out when my eyes opened.
I had forgotten how nice it was to wake from a pleasure filled slumber. My body achy yet relaxed. Wearing nothing but the sheets on Crosby’s bed. My hair still a mess. The smell of my skin laced with the smell of Crosby’s.
My face flushed, and I bit my bottom lip as I thought about what he had done to me. That sense of passionate aggression, unlocking my desires that I had been keeping hidden for way too long.
There was no sign of Crosby though.
I moved from the bed and tracked down my clothing.
From under the floor I heard the soft sound of music.
A smile climbed across my face.
Crosby was all artist. Just like me.
Unable to function with normal hours and a normal life. Just coming and going with the need to create art when the moment decided to strike.
I really didn’t feel like getting dressed, so I opted to steal a t-shirt out of Crosby’s laundry basket. The top t-shirt was white and wrinkly. It had some logo and city on it. I wasn’t sure if that was a real city or just something thrown on a shirt. It smelled like him. A mix of man, smoke, and a hint of sweat.
I could have stood there all night, holding that shirt to my nose, acting as though it were a drug and I just wanted to stay high as a kite until the morning came.
Crosby was the first person who made me almost forget about things. The first person to show me a life beyond what I knew. And he wasn’t even trying to do it. That was the best part. Nothing was forced. And everything was raw.
My body shivered as I thought that last part.
… everything was raw…
The way we talked.
The way we acted.
The way we touched each other.
I let out a sigh and put his shirt on.
It covered up everything I needed it to cover. And there was easy access to anything Crosby desired.
My mind flashed images of him pinning me against his recording equipment, sliding his hands up my shirt, taking it off my body…
Damn, Josie, calm down for a second.
Downstairs, I watched as Crosby stood at his recording equipment. He was in a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt. To my surprise, his skin glistened with sweat. Through the speakers of his equipment there was a song playing. One I’d never heard before.
He stared intently at a computer screen, adjusting the song. One second, there was an echo and the next second, it was gone. Then the guitars got louder. Then softer. He kept changing and adjusting until he finally stepped back and listened.
Sensing my presence, he looked at me.
He stepped forward and the song died.
“You don’t have to stop because of me,” I said. “It sounds good.”
“No, it doesn’t,” he said. “It will eventually. Something is missing.”
“Like what?” I asked.
Crosby wasn’t interested in answering my question though.
Instead, he took something off the table and started to walk toward me.
“You’re covered in sweat,” I said, pointing out the obvious observation.
“Yeah, I am,” he said.
“Why?”
“I worked out after… you fell asleep.”
Heat rushed to my cheeks, but it faded quickly when I realized Crosby wasn’t being flirty or even smiling.
“You work out a lot,” I said.
“Yeah. I punish my body, Josie. That’s the truth. I punish myself.”
“Why?” I asked.
“This is why,” he said.
He handed me what he had on the table.
It was a folded piece of paper.
I opened it and saw it was a picture.
I looked up and Crosby was already walking away. Going toward the back door off the dining room. His hand shot out at the last second to grab a bottle of whiskey.
I looked down at the picture again.
My heart sank.
It was a picture of a smiling little boy.
* * *
“Your son?” I asked Crosby as I joined him outside.
I put the folded up paper containing the picture on the railing and he put his hand over it.
“No, love,” he said. “Not my son.”
“Then who?”
He looked at me. “Nephew. Nicholas.”
“Nephew,” I said, swallowing hard. “Cindi’s son…”
“Yeah,” he said. “Coolest kid I ever met in my life. When Cindi found out she was pregnant she came to me first. She was terrified. Terrified of everything that came with it. Terrified to tell her husband.”
“Why?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “He doesn’t matter.”
“Okay,” I said. “You and Cindi had a falling out, obviously.”
“It wasn’t a falling out,” Crosby said. “It was what I did. Or didn’t do. Or couldn’t do.”
“Meaning what?”
“It’s the reason why I work out so much. Why I torture myself. Why I punish myself. My darkest and cruelest secret.”
Crosby took a drink out of the bottle and then placed it over the paper. He walked away from the railing and helped himself to a cigarette. He offered me one and I nodded.
This was a much different cigarette than what we were used to having together.
“I already told you I took care of Cindi a lot,” he said. “She was a pain in the ass as a kid. She would come out and bother me when I was trying to figure you out.”
I grinned. “I remember.”
“So, my life somehow comes full circle with you in it again. Not that I knew who you were back then. Just the pretty girl next door painting. Clinging to my memory.” He smiled quickly. “But anyway… I always took care of Cindi. I never liked her husband. He never liked me. He was rough and tough. A construction guy. That wasn’t me. I was the dreamer. Playing guitar. Writing songs. I would play anywhere and anytime. All I wanted to do was hit it big and take care of everyone. Especially when Nicholas was born. I could sort of see the writing on the wall with relationship with him and his father. Noah was a good dad in the beginning. A provider. But he didn’t have the fun edge. He was serious and then became too serious. Funny I say that now… look at me…”
“I saw you with Meadow,” I said. “I just knew…”
Crosby shook his head. “Please. Don’t. You have to know the entire story before you even think about sticking up for me.”
“Okay…”
“You might want to get changed, Josie. Be ready to run.”
“Run? You think I’m going to run out of here. Why?”
“Nicholas is dead,” Crosby said.
The air was crisp and calm. And so silent in that moment.
Those three words sucked all the oxygen out of the air too.
My eyes went wide, and my jaw dropped.
Crosby looked numb, his eyes fading to a place he was afraid to go near.
“And it’s my fault,” he added.
I didn’t say a word to the statement. The pain in Crosby’s eyes was real. So very real.
“What happened?” I asked in a whispering voice.
I hugged myself in between drags of my cigarette.
“I had been working on a song,” he said. “Just one more song and I was going to break things open. Really break things open. I had been playing set after set after set. The buzz was building. I was working with Jackie and he was pushing hard for me. There was an offer ready to slide across the table at me. All I needed was one more damn song. At that time, things had been really rough for Cindi. Noah really messed up his back and wasn’t working. He was starting to slip away from life and I couldn’t watch it anymore. Cindi had to take a job as a waitress to help with the bills. That became the only real source of income for them. And Nicholas was in the middle of it and had no clue what was happening. I spent as much time with him as I could. I took him places. I did things with him. I made a promise to Cindi when she got pregnant that I would always be there for her. And really, I wanted to sign a deal and give them some money. Believe me, I’m not saying that to be some kind of hero here, Josie. That’s the truth. I needed one song and I was going to take care of everything for them. Would it have fixed Noah’s back? No. Would it have taken away all of Cindi’s stress? No. But…”
Crosby lowered his head.
He ran a hand over his face.
I inched closer to him, not sure what he wanted or needed from me. I wanted to hug him. But maybe he needed me to slap him or get mad at him for what he felt he did wrong.
When Crosby looked at me again, his eyes were dry and fierce.
Anger.
Raw anger.
“Cindi got a call to go into work for a double shift,” he said. “She took every shift she could. They were behind on their mortgage. Noah’s medical bills were crazy. He kept insisting on going back to work. He’d work half a shift, bring home cash, and drink himself stupid. She asked if I would take Nicholas for the day. Without hesitation I told her I would. Really, I had been working on the song. And it was driving me crazy. I couldn’t get the right words and the right… whatever. I got lost in this song, Josie. So lost. Cindi had to call me to remind me to go and get Nicholas. I decided to take him to the lake.”
My heart sank.
I suggested going to the lake with Crosby. And he got mad…
“He loved to make sand castles. And play in the shallow water. It was the easiest place to take him. Nowhere to go and get lost. Always something to do. I had taken him there dozens of times. I used to stand on the dock and we’d play shark monster. He would be the monster and have to feed me to the shark in the water. So, he’d run up behind me while I was pretending to fish or take a picture or something. Then he’d push me into the water. I’d fall into the water and I would thrash my arms and pretend a shark was eating me.” Crosby cleared his throat and flicked his cigarette off the back porch. “I remember that day and how sad Cindi looked. She looked defeated. Broken by her life. And Nicholas was full of so much energy that day too. I should have just put everything aside and focused on him. Ran his ass up and down the shore of the lake. Or taken him over the roped off part where all the lily pads were. Try to look for frogs or fish. I think of this shit now and it just… it burns. It burns bad, Josie.”
I was close enough now to touch him.
But the moment my hand touched his shoulder, he pulled away.
“Instead, I got us set up and went to my notebook. We hung out and talked and played…” He looked at me. “I justified it. He said he wanted to go build a sand castle. So, I watched him work. I paced the towels I put down for us. I thought about the song. But I could see him. He was fine. Then I heard two people talking and something they said just sparked this idea in my head. The lyric came to me. This line. This… so I hurried to get my notebook and started writing. And the writing was fresh. It was good. Really good. I got lost in it. How long? I’m still not sure. But it was long enough that Nicholas decided to go on the dock alone.”
