The Dear Wife (More Than a Wife Series Book 3), page 32
That sentiment had us quickly wishing the not-so-blushing bride and groom congratulations before we escaped to our room. James nuzzled my neck the entire elevator ride up to our room, driving me wild. By the time we got to our room I thought I was more than ready to make our goal. I slipped into the bathroom thinking I was for sure wearing the black silky number I brought. But suddenly, nerves overtook me. I kept staring at myself in the mirror and thinking what if he can’t? Would this night end in tears like the night of our anniversary? I took several breaths trying to relax.
James knocked on the door. “Honey, are you all right?”
“Yes,” I squeaked.
“Are you nervous?”
I went to the door, opened it a crack, and peeked out. “Yes,” I admitted.
He reached in and ran a finger down my cheek. “I’m nervous too.”
“Because I don’t arouse you?”
“Avery.” He stepped closer. “Believe me, you arouse me.”
I bit my lip. “Let me change.”
“Don’t change. I’ve been wanting to unzip that dress all night.”
Bravely I stepped out and turned around. Before I knew it, my dress hit the floor and I found myself being swept up into his arms. The way he looked at me with his penetrating gaze, I knew all he saw was me. He took me to the bed and gently laid me there. And like our first night together many years ago, he made love to me and only me. I felt cherished in a way I hadn’t in a long time.
When I woke up in the morning, I found myself exactly where I wanted to be—in his arms, skin against skin. I raised my head off his chest to find him already awake. He brushed back my hair. “I love you, my dear wife.”
Epilogue
Ten Years Later
Our song, the song I loved the most, began to play. “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg. Soon James was sauntering my way with an impish grin amid the sea of guests. Before I knew it, he was to me and holding out his hand. “Dance with me.”
“It’s our son’s wedding, not ours.”
James reached his hand out farther. “It’s not every anniversary I get to dance with my wife.”
“Excuse me,” I said to Holland’s parents, Jimmy’s new in-laws, who James and I had been sharing a table with at the elegant soiree thrown courtesy of them, before I gave my hand to my husband.
Holland’s parents smiled at us before we walked away. I hoped they would continue to be as kind as they had been to Jimmy and that we would continue to get to know each other and be friends for many years to come.
James led me onto the full dance floor and pulled me close. “You’re the hottest chick here,” he whispered in my ear. He’d said the same thing to me thirty-three years ago on our wedding day. Had we really been married that long? When did we get so old?
I smacked his chest. “You’re such a liar, but I love you.”
“Baby, I’m not lying.” He nuzzled my ear.
We swayed to our song, the song we’d danced to at our own wedding. I clung to James, so happy we stayed together through the thick and thin of it all. There were days I wanted to strangle him and days I loved him so much it hurt, but through it all, I wouldn’t have missed it.
I caught a glimpse of the bride and groom. My sweet Jimmy was helping his beautiful bride fix her veil. They were a good match, both even tempered and eager to start life together. While Jimmy tried to help Holland, Mia Hannah chased Jonah around them, trying to take the twenty-dollar bill he was taunting her with. Someone must have found Mom and Dad. They had taken over giving the grandkids money since Mimsy passed away a few years ago. God rest her spunky soul. At least she went out with her boots on and her mind still intact. One night she had gone to bed and said she wouldn’t be seeing us again because she was dying. No one believed her, but she never woke up.
Mia was determined to get Jonah all while clutching the American Girl doll that had belonged to another tenacious little girl. A girl who was here in spirit. I’d felt our Hannah so much today. I still missed her and ached for her, but I knew she was happy and wanted me to be happy too. I tried my best for her.
When Mia got Jonah in a headlock, Sam and Reed intervened. Mia kept them on their toes.
I pointed out the scene to James, who barked out a laugh and shouted, “Give him hell, Mia.”
“James,” I scolded.
“What? That’s my girl.”
Sam flashed James a look that said, You’re not helping the situation.
James wasn’t fazed by his sister’s withering glances.
“You should be nice to your sister. She’s worried about becoming a grandma. Cody’s wife is due any day now.”
James crinkled his brow. “So what? You’re a grandma and you’re still hot.” He smacked my butt.
“Nice.” I pecked his lips. “You’re going to make people cringe acting like that.”
“I couldn’t care less what people think. I still love my wife and she turns me on. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I ran my hand across his silver mane. “You still turn me on too.”
“Mmm.” He groaned in my ear.
Delanie and Peter decided to join us on the dance floor. Delanie still looked like a goddess even at six months pregnant with her last. At least that’s what she said, but she had said that last time, and now baby number four for them was on the way. A girl. That little girl was going to be spoiled rotten with three big brothers. Peter was ever gentle with his bride even though he had no rhythm whatsoever. Every time I looked at my brother-in-law, a debt of gratitude swelled within me. For many years now he had been James’s best friend and spiritual advisor.
My thoughts were interrupted by Matt and Brinley holding the newest man to steal my heart. Our little Jeremiah James, all of two years old and the cutest grandson ever.
“Sorry, Mom and Dad.” Matt was trying his best to hold on to his wiggly son, who was the spitting image of him, with dark hair and gray eyes. “He’s been crying for Honey and Grandpa.”
Brinley smiled. “You’re his favorite.”
I took my little man, who called me Honey because that’s what his grandpa called me. “We’ll take care of him for a while. Go and enjoy yourselves.” I remembered the young married days with a toddler. It was exhausting. Matt and Brinley didn’t need me to tell them twice. Matt took his wife’s hand and led her to who knows where. Probably some empty room at the reception hall. That’s what his father would have done. Come to think of it, it was probably what Joan and Lucas had been doing. I hadn’t seen them since the start of the reception.
J. J. wrapped his arms around me and snuggled into me.
James mussed his hair. “Hey, kid, you’re moving in on my territory.”
“You don’t mind, do you?” I asked. James was so in love with our grandson and an amazing grandpa. I loved watching James tell him about his aunt Hannah or read to him. And it was the cutest thing when he took him on the riding lawn mower. J. J. already had his own Decker and Sons Landscaping shirts. He wore them proudly along with his grandpa, dad, and uncle Jimmy.
James didn’t let our grandson deter us from dancing to our song. James wrapped me back up in his arms with our little love between us, who thought it was funny and giggled. It was the best sound ever. We smiled at our little guy and grinned at each other. James lifted a hand and brushed back my hair. “How did I ever get so lucky?”
“I don’t think it was luck.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “You’re right. I think it’s a miracle.”
I did too.
James gently kissed my lips. “I love you, my dear wife.”
“I love you too.”
Dear Reader,
It’s important to address why I wrote this book. A few years ago, two brave fans whom I had never met wrote to me and asked me to consider writing a romance book that included pornography addiction. My first thought was, “There is nothing romantic about pornography addiction, and that sounds a lot like career suicide.” But one of the women thought perhaps if other women and even men could read about it in a fictionalized setting, maybe it could help those struggling with a spouse’s pornography addiction not feel so alone. I kindly told them I would think about it, but honestly, I didn’t think I could do it. It seemed like a daunting task, and like I said before, I was afraid it would be a career killer.
But that night as I slept, I was awoken by James’s voice saying, “Dear Avery” over and over again. He was in such anguish. He was ashamed of how he had hurt his wife. And then I started hearing the love letters he was writing. It was the only way he could express how sorry he was and why and how he had fallen into the addictive world of pornography.
As if that wasn’t enough, a woman I love more than life itself confided in me that her husband was struggling with pornography. I saw the damage it had done to her beautiful soul. And when she encouraged me to write this story, I couldn’t refuse.
This is how the More Than a Wife series began. I knew I couldn’t just write James and Avery’s story. I knew I needed you, the reader, to fall in love with them in the first two books, so you could root for them even in their deepest, darkest places of despair. Even at the times you disliked James.
I didn’t sugar coat the realities of this addiction in this book. The more I researched and interviewed women who have spouses struggling with pornography addiction, I knew I had to keep it real.
My hope is that this will be a book you recommend to your friends, because whether your significant other is addicted to pornography or not, chances are you know someone struggling daily with an addicted partner. I can’t tell you how many women confided in me their heartbreaking stories when I told them what this project was about.
Pornography addiction is an epidemic and a silent killer of self-esteem and relationships. It’s not something we want to talk about because it’s embarrassing, and the media portrays pornography as something to be celebrated. I’m not judging people who feel this way, but I have personally witnessed the destruction pornography causes. And what makes it worse is that those who are victims feel alone. If this is you, I hope this book helped you to know you aren’t alone. Please find a friend you can confide in. If you can’t find a friend, there are many organizations available with resources to help you. I will list some of them at the end.
And if you yourself are addicted to pornography, please stop shaming yourself and seek help. Pornography addiction is like any other addiction. One of my favorite quotes in the book comes from Joan— “People are afraid of diseases of the mind. They remind us all how vulnerable we all are.” There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable. It’s in our vulnerability that we can find a place of healing and hope.
Please know that I realize how sensitive this subject is. Based on your own circumstances, you may or may not have agreed with Avery’s choice and that’s okay. But I hope you take this story for what it is, a true love story. Real love stories take hard work. Sometimes it’s difficult to stay and choose love. And sometimes walking away is the best choice.
With all my heart, thank you for taking this journey with Avery, James, and all the Deckers.
Lots of love,
Jennifer
Resources:
FightTheNewDrug.org
Fortify
BloomForWomen.com
Many denominations have support groups available. Please check with your local religious leader.
If you enjoyed The Dear Wife, here are some other books by Jennifer Peel that you may enjoy:
Return to Sender
My Not So Wicked Stepbrother
My Not So Wicked Ex-Fiancé
The Sidelined Wife
How to Get Over Your Ex in Ninety Days
Narcissistic Tendencies
Honeymoon for One- A Christmas at the Falls Romance
Trouble in Loveland
Paige’s Turn
Best of My Love
For a complete list of all her books, click here.
About the Author
Jennifer Peel didn’t grow up wanting to be an author—she was aiming for something more realistic, like being the first female president. When that didn’t work out, she started writing just before her fortieth birthday. Now, after publishing several award-winning and best-selling novels, she’s addicted to typing and chocolate. When she’s not glued to her laptop and a bag of Dove dark chocolates, she loves spending time with her family, making daily Target runs, reading, and pretending she can do Zumba.
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Twitter (@jpeel_author)
To learn more about Jennifer and her books, visit her website at www.jenniferpeel.com
Jennifer Peel, The Dear Wife (More Than a Wife Series Book 3)
