The Dear Wife (More Than a Wife Series Book 3), page 16
Gelaire kissed each of us on the cheek. For me she lingered a bit. “Darling, welcome. It’s so good to see you. You look as beautiful as ever.”
It was a lie. I had looked in the mirror this morning, and I was paler than ever. Not even the sun was helping me out. But I took the compliment anyway. “Thank you. You look gorgeous, as does your home.”
“The event planner is just marvelous,” Gelaire raved.
Event planner? Sam had failed to mention Gelaire was treating this like a star-studded event. Though we did have some stars among us. Suddenly I felt insignificant. I never really had before in the presence of my sisters-in-law. Because before, I used to go home from things like Sam’s book signings and think it didn’t matter that I didn’t have thousands of fans lining up to see me because I had my own fans at home. But not anymore. I mean, Jimmy still loved me, but he would be home less and less now that school was starting. And I had a feeling that his relationship with Dakota would soon be cutting into my chick flick time with him. It was good. He needed his friends right now, just like I needed mine.
I tried to stave off the feelings of being less than those around me. They didn’t lead to good places. I saw that firsthand with James. It made me wonder if there was an inkling of truth in what Peter said yesterday about why James started watching porn. Not that I excused it, but it did make me wonder. But that also made me feel insignificant. Like I wasn’t enough for him. It didn’t matter to him that I was his biggest fan.
Gelaire took me by the hand, and we all followed her into a living room the size of a ballroom. The room was breathtaking. Not only was everything dripping in ivy and pink roses, but there were pops of gold in everything from the plates on the food tables to the chair Sam was sitting on greeting her dozens of guests. She looked like pink cotton candy in her sweet dress with her belly popping out. Everyone began congregating in the living room, including Sarah and Mimsy, who were making their way to us.
Gelaire took the gifts from those of us who had brought one—Joan had come empty handed—and added them to the gift table that was groaning under the weight of all the presents. There was everything from a hand-painted rocking horse to the sweetest bassinet I had ever seen. Again, my small gift felt inadequate. Joan made me feel a little better when she said, “I’m just handing her some cash later on.”
We all chuckled.
Sarah finally made it to us. She patted Delanie’s back. Delanie gave her a warm smile in return. It was amazing to see how far those two had come in the last year. So maybe miracles did happen. Just not for me. Sarah had a hug for me. “It’s so good to see you, honey.”
Mimsy bounced on the balls of her feet, waiting to pounce on me.
I held on to Sarah as long as I could, hoping to keep Mimsy at bay. It was a nice thought. Mimsy pushed Sarah out of the way and wrapped her arms around me. She was shorter than me, which meant her head landed in my breasts, and she nestled right into them. “You have such a nice rack. James should have appreciated it more, the schmuck.”
“Thanks, Mimsy.” What else could I say? I was just grateful she hadn’t gone off on me about the evils of divorce. Maybe she was saving that for later.
Sarah grabbed her mom, exasperated. “I can’t take you anywhere.”
“What? I’m telling the truth. Look at those perky girls. My boobs used to be perky like that once. I miss those days,” Mimsy replied wistfully.
“I love that old broad,” Joan commented as Sarah led Mimsy to get a cookie. I just prayed she kept her away from the punch bowl. Mimsy used anything for holy water.
“I think I want to be her when I grow up,” Fiona said through her snickering.
“Should we greet the guest of honor?” I suggested.
All the ladies nodded, and we headed Sam’s way. Sam’s eyes lit up when she saw us walking toward her. She didn’t look surprised at all to see Joan and Fiona. It was touching that Joan had wanted to surprise me.
The closer we got to Sam, the more I noticed how she glowed from the inside out. I had never seen her happier. Maybe she was another case for miracles. Two years ago, who would have thought she would be married to Reed and having his baby? Regardless, I was still maintaining miracles weren’t for me. I’m not sure what I had done to God. Though honestly, I didn’t even know what I would consider a miracle at this point. Even if James did have some come-to-Jesus moment, how could I ever trust him again? How do you rebuild a marriage from the ashes?
Sam went to stand, but we all waved for her to stay seated.
“Can you believe all this?” Sam looked around the room in amazement and maybe a bit of embarrassment.
“Gelaire certainly outdid herself,” I remarked. “But if anyone deserves it, it’s you.” I meant every word of that.
Sam reached out, took my hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Thanks for coming. Thank you all for coming.”
Joan shrugged. “It got me out of another dreadful wedding planning session with the mothers.” So maybe she didn’t really want to surprise me.
Fiona tossed her hair back. “I’ve been wanting to dye my hair pink again, so this gave me the perfect excuse.”
“I came for the free food,” Delanie joked, making us all laugh. Though there might have been a hint of the truth. Her idea of cooking was pouring cereal in a bowl. I think she’d blown up three microwaves in the last few years.
“Get some food, ladies. We are going to start opening gifts soon,” Gelaire sang, interrupting our small gathering.
The women behind us waiting to talk to Sam took that as their invitation to push past us and gush all over our sister-in-law. Then another group of women I wasn’t familiar with accosted Delanie, wanting to talk all things Hunter and Maxwell. Though the attention always made Delanie feel uncomfortable, she graciously answered the questions she could. People—including me—always wanted spoilers she could never give.
Fiona and Joan dragged me over to the buffet table filled with elegant hors d’oeuvres. Everything from charcuterie platters to blue cheese–and–pear tartlets. Though it was beautifully presented, I couldn’t stomach any of it. Especially when I saw that I had my own group of ladies. Unfortunately, these ladies didn’t want to talk to me. They were talking about me, or at least I was pretty sure they were. I swore I heard my name. It was the same ladies I’d run into outside, Glynis and Belinda. They were off to the side of the buffet table, partially obscured by an Aphrodite statue. I’m assuming they didn’t realize I was near enough to hear them. At least I hoped they wouldn’t be so cruel; it was bad enough they were talking about me. They probably thought the statue gave them some protection, which was foolish considering I could still see them. I lingered longer at the punch bowl to confirm my suspicions while Fiona and Joan went on to fill their plates. It was torturous, but I figured I should know exactly what people were saying about me.
Glynis, who I had the best shot of, rolled her eyes. “These Deckers think a lot of themselves now. I don’t know why. Delanie’s books aren’t that good, and did you see Sam’s latest post? She’s like a broken record. However,”—she leaned toward Belinda—“I did find it interesting. My mom lives on the same street as the Deckers, and guess who’s been staying there the past couple of weeks?”
“Is it James?” Belinda sounded so happy about it. “We ran into him this past week stumbling out of Freddy’s. He was obviously drunk and looked awful.”
“Such a shame.” Glynis sounded more like it wasn’t shameful but the best news she’d ever heard. “I knew James and Avery were one of those couples who looked too good to be true on the outside. I bet that post was about James. Looks like he’s a porn addict and a drunk.”
“I’d kill my husband,” Belinda responded.
Glynis wore a smirk the size of her ego. “Maybe Avery doesn’t know how to keep him satisfied.”
That did it. Normally, I would have just left and cried in private, but it had been quite the week, and something in me snapped. A burst of courage filled me, and while holding back tears I slipped over to the two mean girls who must have forgotten they weren’t in high school anymore. I cleared my throat right next to them, making them jump. Glynis even spilled punch on her silk shirt.
“Avery,” they stuttered together.
“How nice to see you.” Belinda’s cheeks burned red.
“I bet it is. Who else would you talk about if I hadn’t shown up?”
They both gasped and spluttered.
“I just thought I’d pop over and clear a few things up. Yes, James and I are separated,” I choked, but tried to keep my voice steady. “You know, Glynis, maybe now you can get your shot at him again. Didn’t you like him in high school? I’m pretty sure I remember reading in James’s old yearbook that he could call you for a good time. Maybe you can keep him more satisfied than me. Good luck with that.”
Glynis’s mouth dropped open so far, her tongue protruded out.
“And, Belinda, I truly hope your husband never gets addicted to porn. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And from the sound of it, that’s exactly what you two ladies are. Have a good day.” I turned and walked as fast as I could, trying not to draw any attention to myself. But I had feeling the attention wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Chapter Twenty
I managed to make it outside before the waterworks came. I headed in the direction of my car, not sure what I should do. How could I leave Sam’s shower? But how could I go back in after that little scene? I should have just kept my mouth shut until later. Or maybe altogether. Ever since I’d opened my mouth and took a stand, it had been nothing but a spiral of misery. I knew things would get worse before they got better. That was the way of life. But it was worse than I thought.
Before I could make it to my car, I heard the clack of stilettos behind me. I knew it was Joan. Even her walk sounded powerful—it wasn’t heavy but determined.
“Kid, slow down,” Joan called.
I stopped and held my stomach. I didn’t even bother wiping my eyes anymore. I wished my tear ducts would go on strike and save me from myself.
“Avery, what happened?”
Shaking despite the warm summer air, I turned around. “I don’t know what happened.” I wish someone could tell me. “I just want my life back,” I cried in anguish. I wanted to be back at the party celebrating the sweet life about ready to come into our family, and only worrying about if James and the boys were roughhousing too much at home and what possibly got broken this time. Or what I was going to make them for dinner.
Joan sighed and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Addiction is a bastard. It’s like a thief in the night.”
That’s exactly what it was. I tilted my head. “Are you speaking from experience?”
Joan pressed her lips together and thought for a moment. “Let’s go for a walk.”
I looked down at her feet. “Are you sure?”
“Kid, if I didn’t wear heels, my feet wouldn’t know what the hell was going on. I’m not even sure they would work.”
She elicited a half smile from me. “I should probably go back in.”
“You will. Later.” She began walking in the opposite direction like she owned the world.
I followed her like a lost puppy.
“So what happened with those women in there?” Joan asked.
“You saw me talking to them?”
“I caught a glimpse.”
“They were talking about me and James. Word is getting around that we’ve separated and unfortunately why.”
Joan gave me a shrewd look. “Why is that unfortunate?”
I squinted. “It’s embarrassing.”
“It’s his issue, not yours. Don’t you dare let it define you.” She stopped on a dime. “And”—she paused—“embarrassment only breeds enablement and more addiction.”
I touched her arm. “Joan, how do you know that?”
She flipped her gorgeous gray hair and marched forward. “My father.” She shook her head. “The brilliant man formed a nasty habit of taking uppers and downers. Cocaine and Valium were his drugs of choice.”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“I don’t like to talk about him much. The bastard wasn’t supposed to leave the earth like he did. Lying in a puddle of his own vomit after overdosing. He was too good for it. A brilliant lawyer. You think I’m cutthroat—my father would have an opponent bleeding to death before they ever knew the knife had gone in.”
“You sound like you admired him.”
She rubbed her lips together. “I did, but I hated him too. I still have a love-hate relationship with him. He either made you feel like you were in a dream or a living hell. One day he was giving you a standing ovation at your graduation and the next he was cutting you down for not getting into his alma mater. There was no in-between with him. Drugs ended up ruling his mood and life. It was worse for my mom. She should have left him. But she was too weak. Or at least that’s how I used to see it.”
“How do you see it now?”
She let out a mirthful laugh. “That maybe being as hard as nails isn’t always the best way to go.”
“I don’t know.” I nudged her. “I think you might have the right idea.”
She looked out into the distance. “After everything my dad put my mom through, I vowed I would always be able to stand on my own. I was never going to let a man own me and tell me what to do. Not even when Lucas and I dated when we were younger. I felt like my mom stayed because of what my dad offered financially and social status–wise. Poor excuses for living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, in my opinion. She always swore, though, it had nothing to do with that. I never believed her. Why else would she have gone through that kind of hell?”
“Did you ever ask her?”
“Yeah,” she let out a heavy breath. “All the time. But it wasn’t until recently that I listened to what she had to say and maybe even understood it.” Joan clenched her fists and then released them. “She stayed because she said when you love someone, you love them through it all, the good and the bad,” she scoffed. “She said addiction is like any other illness, and she wouldn’t have left my father if he had gotten cancer. Honestly, that would have been better.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I have no doubt. People are much more sympathetic to that. Those uneducated wenches in there”—she pointed back to Gelaire’s house—“would be singing a different tune if your husband was dying from a disease they found more to their liking. People are afraid of diseases of the mind. They remind us all how vulnerable we all are. Nobody likes that. Especially me. Ask Lucas, my ex-fiancé,” she tossed out there so casually.
“What?” I zeroed in on her ring finger. I noticed the shiny boulder was missing. “You broke up? I thought you were supposed to be wedding planning this weekend.”
She shrugged. “Our mothers still are. We’re taking an unofficial break. It’s not the first time, but maybe it will be the last.” Some emotion crept into her voice.
“What happened?”
Joan let out a long sigh. “Lucas thinks our prenup has gotten out of control, and he suggested that we not have one.” She said it like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. “And he isn’t overly fond of me keeping a separate place or even my last name. Who knew he would want to be so traditional? Rat bastard,” she whispered under her breath.
I chuckled. “You love him.”
“I’ve tried not to. I hate failing,” she growled.
“You know it’s not so bad having a man so in love with you that he’s willing to let you take half his company, or maybe in your case his entire company, if you ever got divorced.”
“Believe me, it would be all of it.”
I smiled. “I’m sure he’s well aware of that. That has to say something about how he feels about you.”
“Or that he’s an idiot,” she responded half-heartedly.
We stopped at the corner, waiting for the cars to pass before we crossed the street.
“Being vulnerable is terrifying,” I tossed out there. “I get that. I’m sorry you had a father who made it even harder for you to trust Lucas and maybe even yourself. But, Joan, I’ll tell you this, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give right now to have the man I love want me so much that he was willing to give up his life for it. His addiction,” I whispered, “which is his life now.”
She turned, her eyes burning into me.
I swallowed hard, out of fear.
Her eyes softened when I took a step back from her. “You know he’s going to regret losing you for the rest of his life.”
“I don’t know if I believe that.”
“Believe me, kid. You’re one in a million.”
“Thank you. I think you’re pretty great too. I also think you’ll regret walking away from Lucas for the rest of your life.” I gave her a sly grin. “You know, you could hyphenate your last name and maybe buy a house with a guesthouse in case you ever need a break. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, I think you would enjoy taking him to court for all he’s worth.”
Joan’s eyes lit up over the possibility. “I like the way you think.”
“I want a wedding invitation.” At least this way I would know what I would be doing on my twenty-third anniversary come Valentine’s Day, besides mourning the loss of my marriage. Twenty-three years. How does someone move on after that long?
“You’re already on the list. Let’s go back. There are some women I need to put the fear of God in.”
“Don’t bother with Glynis and Belinda,” I begged. I didn’t want a scene.
“Oh darling, it’s no bother.” She got a dreamy look in her eye. “Besides, they’ll just be the appetizer. I’m saving the dinner course for your husband. I can’t wait to chew him up and spit him out before I leave town tonight.”
My eyes widened. “Please don’t. He won’t listen anyway.”
Her brow quirked. “You don’t think so? You don’t know me very well. But I’ll leave him alone for now. Just tell me when you’re ready for me to lay into him.” She thoughtfully paused. “I have a feeling you and I will become good friends. Don’t tell anyone I said that though.” She winked.
