Love and Music (Small Town Secrets Book 3), page 8
And yet, there they were.
I took a deep breath of warm summer air and closed my eyes, telling myself it would be okay. Tyler Green would leave and my life would go back to normal.
And then I’d need to consider seeing a shrink to take care of whatever the fuck was going on in my head.
When I opened my eyes, Tyler was leaning over, his nose all but touching mine. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close.
I didn’t resist.
“That’s a damn shame,” he said, “because I was hoping to spend a little more quality time with you.”
All the air escaped my lungs as I felt my eyes grow wide in the darkness, and Tyler’s lips met mine, enveloping me in a kiss. After everything that had happened tonight, I wasn’t about to push him away. His body pressed up against mine felt warm and electric, causing adrenaline to rush through my veins, making my fingertips go numb.
I was wide awake now.
Tyler’s kiss was not the one I remembered from yesterday when we were kids making out in the back seat of his car or on the living room sofa before his dad got home from work. It was slow and sensual and, like the music he wrote today, more mature. As his tongue explored my mouth, I felt my nipples tighten in response.
Why this? Why now? If I was in the friend zone, why the hell was he kissing me like this?
My brain couldn’t process the question, let alone the answer. I was going to kiss the hell out of this man until my ride arrived, and I was going to let myself enjoy it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and it felt like he pressed my body even closer to his, shaping us into one body.
Tyler Green, rock star, was not the boy I’d dated back in high school. And even though his kiss had started out slow, it wasn’t sweet and innocent; instead, it felt greedy. Ravenous.
Insatiable.
Soon, I heard a car’s engine idling not far away, followed by a voice. “Hey, that guy said you’re Megan. You needed a ride?”
Fuck. You know those cold, wintry mornings when the snow is falling and you’re lying in a comfy bed? It’s so damn warm and toasty under the covers and you feel like you could sleep all day—and you definitely don’t want to leave that cocoon of warmth. That was how Tyler’s arms felt. I didn’t want to pull my lips away from him or leave his arms.
But my fear there was different. Once I broke that illusion, it would be shattered for good.
Why had he kissed me in the first place?
Nearly breathless, I managed to remove my lips from his. Tyler whispered in my ear. “Should we tell him to beat it?”
That was all I needed to hear. I no longer gave two shits if Tyler loved and left after the reunion. After the way his lips had assaulted mine, I needed him, and I needed him now.
Chapter Nine
I watched the scene unfold before me as if I were in a movie theater. Letting go of me, Tyler pulled out his wallet and handed the driver a large bill. “I’m really sorry, but we don’t need you anymore. Is this enough for your trouble?”
“Yeah, that’ll take care of it.”
So many strange thoughts were swirling through my head. The effects of the alcohol were fading by the minute, but I still felt confused and unsure. My body had already decided, but my brain remained uncertain.
Despite the ambivalence, I let Tyler wrap his arm around my waist and lead me back to the hotel entrance. This time, though, we walked in the opposite direction of the reunion. Tyler led me through the lobby toward an alcove with two elevators before pushing the button between them.
We hadn’t said a single word.
My brain, though, was going nuts, almost like a room full of kids on a sugar high. No matter what we’d been like as teenagers, frenzied and eager, but clunky and awkward, Tyler had honed his techniques over the years. His kiss told me that much. But what if I sucked now? It wasn’t like I’d asked anyone what I was like in bed. And, besides, performance aside, what if my skinny body turned him off? I knew he was likely used to curvy, voluptuous women with a little meat on their bones. I was no anorexic, but I couldn’t stack up to what was likely being offered to him on a regular basis.
Jesus. What the fuck was I doing to myself? No wonder all my dates failed. No wonder I was still alone. I put way too much pressure on myself and expected failure. I wouldn’t do to my worst enemy what I was doing to myself.
Why did I care anyway? This was a one-night thing. I knew it and Tyler knew it. We were going to reacquaint ourselves with each other in every way possible, and then, on Monday morning, he’d go back to the west coast and I’d go back to work like nothing had ever happened.
But would things go back to normal or would he wreck me for all men to come? Would this be the final nail in the coffin for my love life?
Except what if I had it all wrong? For all I knew, this experience would suck—making me able to get Tyler Green out of my system once and for all. That wouldn’t be a bad thing.
So I took a deep breath as I heard the bing, indicating one of the elevators had reached the ground floor and was getting ready to open. I took that as a metaphor for my situation. I needed to be open to this moment, accept whatever was being offered, and plan to have a great time. No expectations for anything more.
“After you.” Tyler held his hand over the side of the elevator where the doors waited like horses behind the gate. As he entered behind me, his eyes lit up and I suspected we were going to start getting hot and heavy as soon as the doors slid closed.
Except for the guy in a gray suit. “Hold the door, please!” Tyler’s face seemed neutral, but I could read the slight annoyance in his eyes. Still, he held the door as the man hustled in. “Thanks.”
As the elevator began its ascent, I looked at the buttons rather than our faces in the mirrors that surrounded the interior. When we stopped at the third floor, Tyler took my hand and we walked past the man into the hallway.
But he wasn’t going to let us go that easily.
“Hey, should I know you?”
Tyler shrugged, risking eye contact. “I used to live here.”
The man’s brow furrowed. “Maybe that’s it.” Tyler didn’t waste time taking my hand and leading me down the hall as the elevator doors closed. “Man, that was close.”
“Does that get old, people recognizing you, scrutinizing you?”
“Nah. Most people either stare or avoid looking at all. It’s the tattoos. Even in this day and age, I think they make some people nervous.”
We continued walking down the elegant corridor past a dozen or so doors. At the end of the hall, there was a larger door near the corner, and Tyler slid a card into the lock to open it. When the tiny green light lit up, Tyler paused, his eyes boring through mine. “Sure you wanna do this?”
Goddammit, Tyler. Don’t make me question this.
“Why? Are you sure?”
After he pushed the door open, he flipped a switch that bathed the entryway in soft light. “You’re avoiding the question, Meg. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Of course, I am.”
“How do you feel?”
“What do you mean?” My nerves were a little on edge, but I hoped that wasn’t obvious.
“Well, you had a couple drinks out there.”
“Yeah, and they were watered down nicely.” I’d felt the effects earlier, but they were wearing off. But I was a grown ass woman. I would have made the same stupid decision stone-cold sober, and I knew it.
I followed Tyler into the room. Only it wasn’t just a room. It was a symbol of Tyler’s success, one of the many rewards he’d earned in his career. This wasn’t just a room—it was a suite, with a kitchen area, a tasteful yet cozy, homey living room area, complete with a fireplace. As near as I could tell, the bedroom and bathroom were tucked away behind other doors. And a door next to a huge window led to a balcony.
This fucking place screamed money, and that brought my snark scurrying out like a rat running from a burning building.
“What—you couldn’t get the penthouse suite?”
“You saying you don’t like this?”
I raised an eyebrow. “No, I didn’t say that. I just wondered if you really need a place this big.”
Shrugging, he flipped on a lamp next to the sofa while I ventured farther inside. “Do you want something to drink? I could call room service, have them send up some champagne or—”
“Do they even have room service this late?”
“You don’t stay in hotels very often, do you?”
Had I been with any other of our classmates—aside from Lisa, of course—my cheeks might have burned hot. But this was Tyler, a guy who at one time had known me better than most anyone else on the planet. I had no need to impress this man, for he still knew who I was deep down inside—unless he’d chosen to forget.
“Not like a famous rock star traveling the country coast to coast. Super 8 told me I’d have to fetch that shit myself.”
Tyler raised an eyebrow. “Is that a dig?”
“No. Just, uh…sarcasm. My most comfortable dialect.”
“Yeah. I noticed you’ve been honing that talent over the years.”
“You bet your sweet ass.”
“But you didn’t answer the actual question, Meg. Did you want a drink?”
“No. I think I reached capacity earlier. Thanks, though.”
Tyler walked closer to me and it wasn’t until then that I realized I hadn’t budged from the kitchen area. Something deep inside felt awkward or unworthy or maybe even uncomfortable, as if I didn’t belong here.
“Are you a gremlin?” Grinning, he closed the gap between us and lowered his voice. “If I give you a drink after midnight, will something happen to you?” I rolled my eyes, but feeling his body heat drained the sarcasm out of my body. “I think I’d like to see what kind of damage you could do to me.”
I laughed then, a nervous titter, because as the alcohol dissipated from my blood, I began to question how I’d gotten here in the first place.
If I should be here.
If I should be doing any of this.
If I would regret these moments for the remainder of my life.
Nope.
So as Tyler once more pressed up against my body, my lips were still curved in a smile as his met mine. I parted them, inviting his warm tongue into my mouth as I let my tiny purse slide off my shoulder to the floor. Part of me wanted to move fast before that damned old prefrontal cortex did its job again and made me stop. The rest of me wanted to savor every second with this man, wanted us to take our time and make memories I’d love looking back on, so even if I died alone, I could remember the good ol’ days.
Forcing myself to be calm, to stop fucking thinking, I focused on letting him lead this dance.
While his hands rested against my lower back, I slid mine up his chest before winding them around his neck. Goddamn, Tyler’s kisses were setting me on fire, another reminder that we were both a little older and much wiser. Tyler on the inside might have been the same person, but his experiences had changed him.
This man was far different. More exciting.
More dangerous somehow.
And I felt that as I slipped into pure emotion.
As if he sensed the war inside my heart and mind, he held me close, kissing me without rushing. Each slow, gentle brush of his lips and touch of his tongue was deep and soulful, and my body responded by growing warm all over, despite the coolness of the room. My nerve endings stood at attention, ready and eager for his touch. Moving my fingers to his neck, I relished the feel of his skin and hair beneath my fingertips, almost reassuring myself that this was really happening.
As if my touch on his skin was a signal to move forward, Tyler slid his hands from my lower back to cup my ass. Suddenly, it was as if my body was blazing as my mind focused on the throbbing need growing between my legs.
Fuck. I wanted him.
Badly.
I wanted to taste him, feel him, touch him all over.
I wanted to be one with him—if only for a few fleeting moments.
So why now, of all times, did my mind drift back? Why was I sabotaging this moment? Was I this insistent upon not enjoying this goddamn moment in time?
Maybe, but there was no stopping it.
I was thinking back to our first time—my first time. It had been awkward, painful, and a little bloody. And yet I’d felt happy and fulfilled afterward. Tyler’s parents had been gone for the weekend, and we’d figured no better time than the present. After that, we’d found creative means and places to do the deed.
Every time after that had felt like magic to me.
Here I was again, feeling special with this same guy, wondering if I could let him go again.
That fucking thought freaked me out, bringing me crashing into the present again with a vengeance. If my brain kept going there, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy what promised to be a delicious romp. Messy, clingy emotions would only get in the way. So I forced myself to concentrate on his warm hands moving up my back again, and I decided to shift into a higher gear to keep my brain fucking quiet.
Sliding my hands down to his waist, I gripped the bottom of his t-shirt. The only way to shut my mind off was to immerse myself fully in the moment.
I had to keep moving.
Tyler gave me a little space before assisting by grabbing the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head. As it fell to the floor, my greedy fingers touched his bare chest.
And I felt like I was going to die.
In spite of rationally knowing that an entire decade had passed and we’d both changed, I had to stop my jaw from dropping. Tyler, once a wiry teenager, was now filled out, taut, solid. The pictures I’d seen over the years hadn’t prepared me for the tactile sensations I was now experiencing. I, too, was in better shape, but it had happened under protest and only because my best friend had made me work out far more often than I’d wanted to. For now, I was grateful.
Spreading my fingers over his pecs, I felt a slight purr vibrate my throat. And then I almost smiled—but Tyler’s warm lips on my neck distracted me. As he kissed the sensitive skin there, slowly moving to the spot underneath my ear, my nipples hardened again. Then as he began to journey down my neck toward my collarbone, I bit my bottom lip in an effort to hold in an onslaught of emotions that were physical, powerful, and almost beyond my control.
What the hell was wrong with me? It wasn’t like I’d never had sex before, and definitely not like I’d never been with Tyler before.
Ah, but I knew deep down what was happening. I was feeling too much for him, more than I should have. And maybe I never could have stopped those emotions, considering he’d been my first love all those years ago. It was a switch I couldn’t turn off, no matter how much I wanted to. My brain was telling me to abort this mission, that this was a mistake, but my body kept pulling me away from thought. Tyler felt so fucking good, and the animal inside wanted to see this all the way through.
Because of the way he moved, I knew he had no idea about the internal war ripping me apart. He slid his hands from my back so that they were between our bodies as he breathed against my collarbone, just above my blouse, sending shivers rippling down my spine. His lips met the flesh there as his fingers worked the button at the top of the shirt to unfasten it, and then he moved down to the next one. The next exposed my cleavage, and his lips followed the path down. Every button was agonizing as he took his time, moving his head lower, and I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to distract myself once more.
After Tyler had the two sides of my blouse apart, he paused. I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t read his expression. “My lovely Meg. I used to think you were all that back in school, but shit, woman. You’re hotter now. Why the hell are you hiding all this under such conservative clothes?” As he moved his hands to my shoulders to brush the blouse back, causing it to slide down my arms and bunch at my elbows, he said, “Must be your inner librarian, eh?”
I tried to force a small smile as I moved my arms to allow the blouse to drop to the floor. But as his words sank in, my stomach twisted itself into a knot. We had both compared this moment to the time we’d spent back in high school. At least back then we hadn’t known what we were doing, so there was no comparison, no disappointment—just gleeful exploration, even when things felt awkward or even painful. Now, though, I all but cringed, worrying about what he must think today.
But his lips back on my mouth as his warm hands moved to the bra straps beneath my shoulder blades helped divert my thoughts once more. Suddenly, I was transported back to the first time young Tyler had fumbled with my bra while we’d been kissing, and it had taken him probably five solid minutes to get it unsnapped. Now, though, it wasn’t giving him any trouble. I felt the last snap give way to his deft fingers, causing my bra to relax around my ribcage as he coaxed it off with his hands, pulling it forward off my shoulders and arms before letting it drop to the floor next to my blouse.
Shit. This was fucking real.
As Tyler knelt over, his lips grazing my left breast toward my nipple, my fingers ran through his hair, almost gripping his skull. Jesus. I had to relax; otherwise, there would be no way I could enjoy the pleasure guaranteed to come from a night with this man. Gulping a deep breath, I regretted nothing having just one more drink, because then I could have completely let go.
No. I could do this, right?
I almost believed it until Tyler’s mouth fully covered my areola, sending some weird jolt ripping through my body.
And I asked him to stop.
Chapter Ten
“Wait. Stop!” I heard the words rush from my lips just as I realized I was the one saying them. And I knew why. Things felt like they were moving way too fast. I wasn’t ready.
My body was. My brain, however, was nowhere near where it needed to be.
I didn’t think Tyler heard me at first, because the tip of my breast remained in the suction of his mouth for a few seconds after, his tongue flicking the hard tip of my nipple. Or maybe it just took that long to register with him. MeToo Movement or not, though, Tyler wasn’t the kind of guy to force a woman to do something she didn’t want to. And, nowadays, I imagined he could go just about anywhere and snap his fingers to get a menu of anything he desired.
