Love and Music (Small Town Secrets Book 3), page 11
Lucky for her I did love her and could never find it in my heart to stay mad at her. Hell, I’d never even quite worked up to that anyway.
But what the fuck did that say about my bestie and me—that we’d both hooked up with men we’d gone to high school with? The only difference between the two of us was that my hookup was an ex-boyfriend and Lisa’s was, frankly, a little wish fulfillment with an old crush. But I still found it strange that we’d both hopped right into bed, no questions asked.
I was hoping, though, that Lisa wasn’t regretting what she’d done like I was.
When my driver dropped me off at my apartment building, I decided at the last minute to increase his tip, because he had only talked at the beginning and end of the ride. It was the same reason I’d had the same mediocre hair stylist for the past three years—no chatting. I hated making inane small talk. I had to do it enough on the job that I didn’t want to do it when I was off the clock. Fortunately, I made it to my apartment without any encounters with my neighbors, either, and I locked the door behind me as if I were retiring to a fortress.
Because I was.
Once inside, I pulled off my heels, throwing my purse on the couch after retrieving my phone. Plugging it in to recharge, I then started brewing a strong pot of coffee. A warm cup of joe and a long hot shower would make me feel more like myself.
I sat down at my plain white kitchen table, listening to the purr and hiss of the coffee pot, resting my chin on my hand, my elbow propped up on the table. As I contemplated my next move, I gritted my teeth, recognizing the smell of Tyler’s subtle cologne on my blouse. Dammit. I had to hurry up and shower.
What really fucking sucked was realizing that I’d never really let Tyler go—no matter what I’d said or done in the past, he still had quite a hook in my heart, and now it would probably take another goddamned decade to let him go. Why the hell had I done that? Any of it? Why hadn’t I told Lisa I wouldn’t go?
And how the hell could I get past this again?
Maybe I needed a therapist.
Yes, I definitely did—and I planned to start searching on Monday.
As I stood to grab a mug out of the cabinet, something struck me. What had last night been for Tyler? Was he used to just fucking women wherever he went and he knew I’d be an easy mark? Surely, he knew I felt the same way now as I had then, that there was no way a relationship could survive distance, so why have an encounter?
I couldn’t figure it out. Tyler had projected the same self he’d been ten years ago—sweet, charming, and smart. But now he was way fucking hotter.
Maybe caffeine would help me puzzle it out—but I doubted it. My heart and head weren’t working properly.
Shit. I really needed Lisa. That woman had helped me sort through my emotions and thoughts over the years more times than I could count.
At least I had coffee. After stirring a spoonful of sugar in the cup, I stood in front of the window over the sink, looking out over the parking lot of my apartment building as well as the doctor’s office next door. There weren’t any cars at the doctor’s office, and some kids were taking advantage of that, skateboarding on the asphalt. I was surprised to see teenagers outside this early in the middle of summer, but it would probably be way too hot to be out there in the afternoon.
I started contemplating my afternoon again and decided maybe I could just head over to the library and check out some books. That place was my home away from home, and I knew today I wouldn’t even mind having to talk with Serenity.
As I finished up that first cup of coffee, I decided that was a fantastic plan, so I needed to get in the shower, step two to feeling more like myself. One problem I hadn’t considered, though, was that even though I was washing the smell of Tyler off my body, the water couldn’t take away the physical memories. I could still feel his lips and tongue brushing over my flesh, taste his mouth pressing on mine, recall his solid musculature up against me. I got out of the shower feeling even more confused and desperate to forget, because my mouth still tasted him even as I brushed my teeth.
There was no flushing him out of my brain.
I had to get the fuck out of my apartment ASAP and get to the library. I needed to surround myself with the love of books and people I felt comfortable with. The familiar would help me escape.
After pouring another cup of coffee, I put on makeup, leaving my head wrapped in a towel. Then I combed out my brown hair quickly, irritated at how it liked to kink up, because I’d never managed to figure out how to make the waves look good. Instead, I’d either have to pull it into a ponytail after blow drying or spend time either curling or flattening it—precious time I didn’t want to waste right now.
Fuck it.
I partially dried it before pulling it into a high ponytail with a scrunchie and then throwing on a pair of jeans. When I opened my t-shirt drawer, wouldn’t you know? The first shirt I pulled out was a Madversary one, and that was the last damn thing I needed. Underneath it was a Adelitas Way tee which I promptly threw on after shoving the Madversary shirt to the bottom of the drawer.
I was lacing up my sneakers when I heard my cell phone ringing. Shit. Had I given Tyler my number? Because, if so, I was going to let it go to voicemail. I couldn’t talk to him right now—if ever again.
But I’d worried for nothing.
“Hey, Lisa. I thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth.”
“Meg, pleeeeeeease tell me you’re not mad at me.”
Even though I had been for two seconds, there was no need to ruin her day, too. “No, I’m not mad.”
“Oh, thank God. And I’m so sorry about Tyler.”
“No, you’re not.”
“You’re right. I’m not.”
“You’re lucky. I forgive you anyway, you bitch.” Before she could even start asking questions about my evening, I decided to head her off at the pass. “How’d things go with you and Randy?”
“Oh, my God. You’re not going to believe it.”
No, I probably would. After all, this was Lisa we were talking about. “What?”
“Well…we went to the river walk. We walked all along the river, just holding hands and talking and catching up.”
“And?”
Lisa giggled, knowing I could see right through her. “And we did something totally crazy.”
“What?” Why the hell was she making me drag this out of her when it was obvious she was dying to get it off her chest?
“We fucked right there on the river walk.”
“In front of God and everybody?”
She laughed hard then, but I couldn’t tell if it was nervous or happy. “We got off the beaten path, for heaven’s sake. And, uh, let me just say that yoga makes for great sex.”
“You’ve been telling me that for years.”
“And yet you still only come to my class, like, three times a year.”
“You know it interferes with my work hours.”
“Bullshit.”
Why the hell was this all about me again? “Anyway…you were saying?” She giggled again, obviously wanting me to prompt her more. “So you’re serious. You had sex on the river walk. The same river walk where dozens of people jog and bike every day? Where they take their dogs. And kids. That river walk?”
“Jesus, Meg. Haven’t you ever had sex outside before?”
“No, actually.”
“Me, either. So it was a first.”
“Does inside a car count?”
“I don’t think so. Unless the doors are open.”
I started laughing then. “So give me the details.”
“We just…we’d been looking at the moon and talking about how beautiful it was out there. And the only thing we could hear was the roar of the river. It wasn’t sticky hot out, either—just warm but not too warm, thanks to the river, I’m sure. And he looked at me and we just started kissing. Before I knew it, I was feeling horny as hell and so was he. We started getting pretty handsy. And he asked if I wanted to get out of there and I said yeah, but we’d walked so far. I knew by the time we got back to the hotel, we’d probably be too hot and sweaty and exhausted to want to do anything. Well, not me, but I figured he might.” I wanted to tell her to get to the point, but she probably wouldn’t have even heard me. “So we walked a ways and I pulled him by the hand back into the trees.”
“Aren’t there houses close by?”
“No, not where we were. I told you we walked a long way—close to the edge of town, I think. It was amazing, Meg. You gotta try it sometime.”
“I think I’ll pass.”
“No, seriously. It was so liberating. Being half naked outside and then reaching orgasm when you can hear the river rushing nearby and smell the fresh air. There’s nothing like it. I’m gonna have to do it again.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t just because you were having sex with Randy Butler?”
“Well…maybe that was part of it, but I don’t know. I swear to God, Meg, it was like a near-death experience.”
“What? Girlfriend, are you out of your mind?”
“Maybe. Maybe he really did fuck my brains out. But I’m not even kidding about the difference of being outside. I think having that kind of intimate experience in nature intensified my feelings for Randy. It’s totally weird, Meg. It’s like hardly any time has passed since high school and like he knows me and appreciates me. He didn’t even know I had a crush on him before. Shit. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.”
Part of me wanted to laugh, but it seemed cruel to be amused by what seemed like an almost religious experience for my friend. “When are you sending out the wedding invitations?”
Lisa’s snort assured me I didn’t need to worry too much about her just yet. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. So when do you want me to pick you up for the brunch?”
I wasn’t ready to let on that I wasn’t going yet. “I don’t think I should trust you to be my ride anymore.”
“Hey, I thought you weren’t mad.”
“I’m not. Just giving you shit.” I took a sip of my coffee before breaking the news. “But I’m not going to go to the brunch anyway.”
I could hear a sly, knowing tone in her voice. “Oh. Were you up late last night, too?”
I could have said yes and let it go at that, but I didn’t know that I was ready to talk about any of it yet. As it was, I was having a hell of a time processing my emotions. “That’s not it. I’ve just…had as much catching up as I can handle. I think I’m done with the whole thing.”
“Oh, my God. What the hell happened last night after I left?”
“Nothing you need to worry about. I just—I just don’t want to do anything else reunion-related. I want to enjoy my damn weekend.”
“Oh, hell, no. You’re not blowing me off like that, Megan Walker. I’m coming right over.”
Fuck. Lisa’s phone hung up before I could say another word.
I could just leave and go about my day as planned. But Lisa had been known to have the ability to find my little red Kia in a Walmart parking lot in less than five seconds—and so I figured she’d be able to track me down anywhere in the entire town of Winchester in less than ten minutes. She knew me too well.
So I reconciled myself to the fact that I was going to have to talk to my friend—and I might as well just get it over with now so I could get on with my life. But why did I have the sneaking feeling that Lisa might not be able to help me with that?
Chapter Fourteen
Lisa banged on the door hard enough that my neighbors might have thought I’d swallowed an entire bottle of pills and she was there to save me.
“Jesus. Get in here before someone calls the police.”
Lisa giggled, and I noticed a sparkle in her blue eyes that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Underneath that, though, was a concern that made me believe maybe she did think I was suicidal.
I peeked in the hallway before closing the door, just to make sure no one was coming out of their place. “Want some coffee?”
For just a second, Lisa pondered it. “Hell, no. We need to get you out of here. Let’s go out for coffee.”
“Oh, no. No way. You’re not getting me in your car and then driving over to the hotel. Nice try.”
“I’m serious, Meg. You can drive, okay?”
As I considered her sincerity, I didn’t care that a scowl twisted my face. “Fine.” Grabbing my purse and phone, I questioned how my bestie always managed to get me to do things I doubted were good ideas.
There was a diner outside of town, a place where truckers gassed up and bikers ate breakfast to nurse their hangovers. Once in a while, you’d see a family of tourists or some cops taking a break, but, for the most part, locals didn’t frequent it—meaning there’d be little chance of anyone seeing us—especially high school reunion people. And I only lived a couple of miles away, so it was perfect.
I’d barely put my car in drive when Lisa said, “Meg, tell me what the hell happened that was so bad you’re refusing to go to the rest of the reunion. I mean…when I left, you and Tyler looked all snuggly and, uh, stuff.”
“I actually don’t want to talk about it.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, seriously.”
“Where the hell are you going, anyway? Starbucks is that way—and you just passed the Coffee Stop.”
“I’m calling the shots. We’re going to be drinking good old-fashioned coffee. It was good enough for my grandma and grandpa, and it’s good enough for us.” I didn’t look over at Lisa, but I could imagine she was rolling her eyes at me.
“Hmph.”
Pausing at the stoplight, I looked out of the driver-side window so Lisa couldn’t see my grin. I could have hugged her, though. I already felt loads better just being around her.
When I started driving again, she said, “Fine. But we’re talking once we sit down.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Again, I had to stifle the grin threatening to plump my cheeks, and I managed to feel less humorous as I pulled up to the diner. When we got out of my car and the smell of greasy eggs wafted through the parking lot, I questioned my sanity—but I reminded myself we weren’t going to eat any food. Just coffee.
What the hell was I thinking?
When we walked through the glass door, a small bell tinkled, announcing our arrival. A waitress with bright blue hair pulled into pigtails marched toward the breakfast bar behind which several rough-and-tumble men dined in leather jackets despite the heat. Even across the room, she gave us some attention, throwing her voice our way. “Hey, girls. Grab a seat wherever you like. I’ll be right with ya.”
Lisa raised her eyebrows as if, once again, questioning my common sense. I simply shrugged, making my way toward the nearest empty booth. The dining room was more than halfway full, but the lone waitress seemed to be handling things just fine—in fact, she was at our table in less than two minutes, holding two menus and a pot of coffee.
Considering the color of her pigtails, I really wanted to ask if she was related to Serenity, my library coworker. Most people in Winchester who had crayon colors in their locks were teenagers, so when I saw adults sporting unusual hues, I took notice.
“Hi, gals. My name’s Daisy, and I’ll be taking care of you today. Coffee?” She nodded her chin at the cups sitting upside down on the table.
“Oh, yes.” I flipped mine right-side up. Lisa did so as well, but she gave me a look that she’d rather be anywhere but here.
Our efficient waitress filled up our cups quickly. “There’s cream and sugar right there. I’ll be back in a few to take your order.” Whisking away with cheetah-like speed, she filled up multiple coffee cups in her trip around the dining room before emptying the pot. I almost felt exhausted watching her.
Lisa kept her voice low, but there was no mistaking her disgust. “I am not eating here.”
“Know what, Leese? I’ve heard over and over that their breakfasts are really good.”
I started actually perusing the menu as if to make a point, and Daisy rushed past us again, this time holding four plates, defying all odds. Nodding my head toward her, and I got a whiff of bacon that made my mouth water.
“No,” Lisa hissed. “Did you see how greasy those eggs looked?” She wasn’t wrong.
“I don’t care. I’m gonna get a muffin or toast or something.”
“You know the brunch at the hotel is gonna be to-die-for. The food they serve there is something we can’t usually afford to eat. Don’t be a pain in the ass, Megan.”
I knew she was growing angry with me because she was calling me by my full name—but I planned to ignore it anyway. She sipped her coffee, grimacing before she grabbed the sugar. “Okay, girlfriend, it’s time to dish. What the hell happened between you and Tyler?”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. What’s going on?”
I shook my head. Things in my brain were still fuzzy and stupid, and I didn’t want Lisa psychoanalyzing me, no matter how much I needed it. I wasn’t ready. “It’s just like before, when we were kids, Leese. It’s never going to work, so why bother?”
“You don’t like just reconnecting?”
“No, I don’t. That’s why I didn’t want to fucking go in the first place.”
A paragon of perfect timing, the waitress reappeared at our table. I could have kissed her. “Okay, ladies, what’ll it be this morning?”
“Thanks, Daisy. Would you recommend the toast or a blueberry muffin?”
“I wouldn’t recommend the toast by itself, unless you’re having eggs with it. The Saturday cook makes toast like hockey pucks. I don’t know how he manages.”
“So the muffin then?”
“Well…I’d recommend the French toast actually.”
“Thanks, but I’ll stick with the muffin.”
“All right.” I didn’t like the dubious sound of her voice, but it made me all the more stubborn. Then she looked over at Lisa, her pen poised on the pad. “What’ll you have, hon?”
“I’m just sticking to coffee.”
Daisy raised an eyebrow. “Probably why you have a killer body.” Snatching up the menus, she looked at me once more. “I’ll be right back with your muffin.”
