The Beginning, page 8
part #0.50 of Off Screen Series
“Tamara,” Addison sighed with exasperation. “Aren’t you the person who has been barking at me for two years about how things work in this town?”
“Addy—”
“No. You need to listen to me. Agents don’t want actors attached to anyone, much less do they want their hot commodity—the single, sexy actress attached to a struggling lesbian screenwriter. That’s not the romantic tale they want to paint, and you know it,” Addison said.
“Maybe I do know it. I also know you. How long can you keep this façade up?”
“Tam—”
“Your turn to listen, Addy. I hear you. I get it, but you two can’t expect to hide this forever,” Tamara said.
Addison sighed and stopped walking. She looked at the phone in her hands and took a deep breath. “Forever?”
“Yeah, Addy. Are you telling me that you can do this indefinitely?”
“I love her, Tam.
“I know that.”
“I’ll do whatever she needs me to do,” Addison said.
“Of course, you will. Just don’t forget that you need things too,” Tamara said softly.
Addison did not respond.
“Addy?”
“Yeah. I’m here.”
“I’m sorry. I just want you to be—”
“Happy—I know. I am. I will be a lot happier in a few minutes,” Addison said.
“Does she know?” Tamara asked, finally allowing the conversation to take a turn.
“Nope.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Tamara chuckled.
“Thanks, I think.” Addison laughed.
“Addy, I adore Emma, you know?”
“I know you do. Stop worrying so much. Okay?”
Tamara frowned. She had never seen her best friend as happy as Addison had been in recent months. There was no denying that Addison and Emma seemed to fit. Anyone who had the opportunity to see them as they truly were could see how much in love they were. And, that is exactly what worried Tamara. As difficult as she knew this brief separation had been for both her friend and the actress, the distance had also allowed the two to keep the wolves at bay. Tamara feared that if Addison and Emma didn’t face reality about their life ,and feed the wolves on their terms, they were likely to be eaten alive by the pack. She’d stood by as Addison lived through heartbreak once, and there was no doubt in her mind that losing Emma would devastate her friend. “Oh Addy, I wish you could see it.” She sighed.
***
“Come in!”
Addison walked up two stairs and into Emma’s trailer. Emma was sprawled across the couch with her hand covering her eyes. It was all the evidence Addison needed to understand that Emma was suffering from a headache. Nonetheless, she couldn’t help but smile. Emma was wearing a baggy pair of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt. Addison was frozen in place, suddenly realizing that two weeks without holding Emma was coming to an end.
“Change in the scenes?” Emma asked.
“Something like that,” Addison replied.
Emma turned slowly as she sat up.
“Writer’s prerogative,” Addison said with a smile.
“Addy?” Emma asked with disbelief.
“Last time I checked.” Addison laughed.
Emma made her way to Addison slowly, afraid that the writer was a mirage. Her hands reached Addison’s face and held it for a second. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she searched Addison’s eyes.
Addison smiled and tucked Emma’s hair behind her ear. “I missed you.”
Emma sighed and answered with her kiss.
Addison was certain that her heart had stopped momentarily. Emma’s kiss was incredibly tender. It was filled with need—a need that Addison understood completely. Felling Emma pressed against her was like finding water in the desert. Addison wondered as Emma’s kiss continued its emotional searching, if just a day was too long to be apart from the woman she loved. Her heart soared and ached from the connection that a phone line simply could not provide.
Addison smiled and wiped a tear from Emma’s cheek when Emma finally broke the kiss.
“I can’t believe you are here,” Emma said.
“I can leave,” Addison joked.
Emma shook her head and kissed Addison again.
“Did you miss me?” Addison pulled back and asked.
Emma walked to the door and locked it. She turned back to Addison, pulled her sweatshirt over her head and began her slow saunter back toward the writer.
Addison raised her eyebrow playfully. “Why Ms. Bronson, are you trying to seduce me?” she asked.
Emma pursed her lips and considered the statement as she took a moment to circle her lover. “Seduce you?” she repeated the question as she finally came face to face with Addison again. “Why Ms. Blake, I simply thought I might inspire you,” she answered.
Addison closed her eyes.
Emma licked her way up Addison’s neck slowly. Emma continually amazed Addison. Emma was incredibly gentle and loving, but at the same time her touch was ripe with passion and desire. Emma’s hands caressed Addison’s back lovingly as her kiss finally made its way back to Addison’s lips.
“Em,” Addison breathed. “I love you.”
Emma stepped back for a moment and smiled brightly at her lover. She pressed a finger to Addison’s lips and then replaced it with her kiss. Her hand dropped deliberately to Addison’s shirt and quickly addressed the buttons. When the last one popped free, she pushed it off of Addison’s shoulders. Emma dropped kisses down Addison’s throat softly until she reached the swell of her breasts. Her hands released the clasp of Addison’s bra, and her kisses followed the path that it revealed. Tenderly, she sought every inch of Addison until her lips reached an aching nipple. Emma placed a faint kiss on the pink bud and briefly lifted her gaze to catch sight of the desire that flickered in Addison’s eyes. Addison was already yearning for her touch, but Emma had every intention of taking her time and making love to Addison slowly.
“Em, please,” Addison urged her lover. She had thought that she would make her surprise appearance and seduce Emma. That plan was unraveling quickly. Emma had taken control, and Addison was helpless to protest. She heard Emma’s soft moans as Emma firmly sucked on her nipple.
Emma would tug at one gently before moving her attention to its sister—showing her affection liberally. Emma’s hands gripped Addison’s waist and kept her from moving away even the slightest distance.
“Emma,” Addison barely managed through a moan. Her skin was tingling. She was struggling for a full breath, and she could feel a growing warmth traveling from her breasts steadily lower.
The moment Emma sensed Addison’s arousal increasing, she would purposefully gentle her explorations. Addison’s sensual expression would become mixed with frustration—her longing evident. Emma was all too aware that Addison enjoyed the delicious torture at least as much as Emma loved administering it.
It was never an easy endeavor to make love to Addison slowly. Touching Addison produced a hunger in Emma that she still found difficult to believe. Right now, touching Addison was steadily increasing the wetness of her arousal. Emma loved Addison’s body. She enjoyed the way Addison felt in her arms, under the weight of her body, and Emma loved the way Addison tasted. Addison’s lips always tasted like mint, the softness of her skin on Emma’s lips drove Emma wild. Emma took her time exploring Addison’s body, delighting in the way Addison responded to her attention. It made her crave more. Emma’s hands quickly addressed the button and fly of Addison’s jeans. She kissed her way to the top of them, dropping in front of her lover and pulling them off with one swift motion.
Addison wasn’t certain how she was still standing. Emma’s hands softly reached their way back up Addison’s stomach. Tenderly, Emma caressed Addison’s hips, her stomach, and traced small patterns upward until she reached Addison’s breasts again. She did not immediately seek out Addison’s need—instead Emma took a moment to feel the softness that was Addison.
Emma was growing dizzy with desire. More than desire, she felt Addison running through her. Every sound Addison made, each time Addison’s body sought to move closer, the feel of Addison’s hands on her shoulders—all of it spoke clearly to Emma. Emma considered Addison a poet. It amazed her that Addison’s body could speak just as eloquently as her mind. She watched as Addison’s eyes closed and Addison’s head tilted back slightly. It marked the undoing of Emma’s resolve.
Emma kissed the inside of Addison’s thigh and placed a hand behind her hips, pulling Addison to her. Slowly, Emma kissed a trail across Addison’s need. Addison moaned, and Emma immediately replaced her light kisses with a gradual lick, momentarily dipping inside her lover to solicit a gasp. Emma felt Addison sink to her knees. It surprised her when Addison looked into her eyes and kissed her passionately.
Addison unhooked Emma’s bra and pushed her back onto the floor. This was not the romantic seduction that Addison had planned. Something else had taken over. A deep ache in her soul demanded that she touch her lover.
Emma smiled up and met Addison’s gaze. She marveled at the way desire flickered in sparkles of gray and gold in the writer’s irises. She stroked Addison’s back as Addison pulled off her pants. When Addison looked back at Emma. Emma lost her breath. The kiss that followed would have surely left Emma unable to stand had she not already been lying down.
Addison showered Emma’s breasts and stomach with kisses. She stopped and licked a straining, pink nipple and felt her heart thump wildly in her chest.
Emma threaded her hands in Addison’s hair and urged her on. “Don’t stop,” she begged Addison.
Addison obliged, adding a hand to the equation to ensure that Emma’s longing was met.
Emma groaned when Addison pulled away. Her protest was short-lived when Addison smiled at her.
“I need you,” Addison admitted.
Emma began to change their positions when Addison stopped her. Emma was confused. One exchanged glance with her lover and she understood what Addison wanted.
Addison turned them over, Emma coming to rest above her.
Emma sighed deeply when she felt Addison’s tongue begin to explore every inch of her. She looked down at Addison. Addison held her in place, her tongue dancing over Emma delicately and then forcefully as Emma struggled to hold herself up. She felt Addison’s tongue travel the length of her over and over again. Addison’s hand strayed to her breast and tugged sensually at her nipple. Emma’s knees grew weak. She unconsciously rotated her hips to meet Addison’s touch. She could never hope to get enough of Addison Blake.
Addison was lost in the sensations touching Emma evoked. She could feel Emma edging closer to physical release and sensed that her lover held back. She pulled Emma down farther. It startled her when she felt Emma move deliberately. In less than a second, she felt Emma resume her previous explorations. Addison gasped at the sensation of soft, moist heat covering her center. Emma’s tongue danced over her and circled her again and again. It was perfect. She took a deep breath and tasted Emma again. Addison could feel Emma beginning to tremble and understood that Emma was determined to hold out for Addison’s release.
Emma was desperate to reach the pinnacle with Addison. She wanted to feel Addison submit to her at the same time that Addison brought her over the edge. She was so close to the pinnacle that she feared she would not be able to concentrate on making love to Addison. Every muscle in Emma’s body tightened and cried out in agony—perfect, delicious agony. She lightly flicked her tongue over Addison while sucking gently on Addison’s most sensitive spot. Addison’s body jerked slightly, and Emma felt Addison’s grip on her tighten.
Addison mirrored Emma’s actions, sucking gently on Emma until she felt them both begin to shudder.
Addison would not let go of Emma. She sought to draw out Emma’s climax as long as possible.
Emma seemed to be determined to accomplish the same goal. Her body went rigid and then in an instant released a steady stream of spasms that threw Addison over the edge again.
“Addison!” Emma called out.
The sound of Emma’s pleasure deepened the ache that welled inside Addison, and she felt her muscles constrict and then pulse wildly. It took Addison a moment to regain her bearings. She pulled Emma close and kissed her softly, the evidence of their passion shared in their kiss. “Em—” Addison sighed.
“I know,” Emma replied, knowing that Addison had felt the strain of their short separation equally. “I missed you too.”
“You know I had planned to come in here and make love to you. I didn’t intend to have sex with you on the floor of your trailer,” Addison said.
Addison had tried to make her statement light, but Emma heard the insecurity behind it and immediately propped herself up to look into Addison’s eyes. “There has never been a time that you did not make love to me, Addy,” Emma said seriously. This was not the first time Emma had heard a twinge of pain in her lover’s voice after an impromptu lovemaking session. Addison was always concerned about Emma’s feelings. Emma wasn’t certain of everything that drove her lover’s worries. She did know that Addison was adamant that Emma always feel respected and loved.
“You know what I mean,” Addison said.
“I needed you, Addy. We needed each other. I love the way you make love to me.”
“I love you, Em. Everything about you.”
Emma kissed Addison and smiled. “I love you and I love being like this with you."
“On the floor of your trailer?” Addison joked, returning to herself.
“In your arms,” Emma answered seriously.
Addison nodded.
“Thank you for coming,” Emma said.
Addison snickered. Emma swatted her.
“You are so bad!”
“Want to see how bad I can really be?” Addison asked playfully.
Emma laughed. “I just might take you up on that later,” she replied.
“Have to work, huh?” Addison guessed.
“We have a little time before that,” Emma said.
Addison felt Emma’s grip on her tighten. “Em?”
“Just hold me for now, okay?” Emma requested.
Addison kissed Emma’s forehead. “Of course,” she said. I’ll hold you forever, Emma.
Chapter Seven
“I don’t want you to go,” Emma said quietly.
Addison pulled Emma closer. She didn’t want to leave. Two more weeks would feel like an eternity. They had spent the majority of the weekend in one another’s arms. Most of it watching old movies and cuddling close. Time had passed much too quickly for Addison’s liking. In the morning, she would leave for home. Strangely, it didn’t feel like home at all without Emma. They had separate residences but rarely spent a night apart. Addison sighed.
“What is it?” Emma asked.
Addison kissed Emma’s head. It was only two weeks. Why was that so difficult? In her past relationships, Addison would have welcomed a respite from her lover. Emma was different. She looked forward to seeing Emma in the morning. She enjoyed their banter and their long talks. Addison didn’t care whether they were making love, eating dinner, watching movies or working in separate rooms. She reveled in having Emma close, in being able to hear Emma humming off-key in the distance. She loved sneaking up behind Emma just to hold her while Emma worked on one of her many culinary creations. Part of Addison wondered how they were going to make this all work. Tamara’s voice echoed in her brain. She didn’t want to hide her affection for Emma. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops most days. Addison was never adept at hiding her feelings. She was beginning to worry that her emotions would betray her, and thus Emma’s public needs somehow. At the same time, she wanted nothing more than to share her life—all of it, with Emma Bronson.
“Addy?” Emma looked at her lover. “What is going on in there?” she lightly tapped Addison’s forehead with a finger.
Addison forced a smile. “I just hate missing you.”
“I know. It’s only a couple more weeks,” Emma said.
Addison nodded.
“Addy?” Emma asked with growing concern.
Addison placed a kiss on Emma’s nose.
Emma sighed. “It’s not just me being away, is it?” Emma asked knowingly.
“I—”
Emma nodded and put her head on Addison’s chest. “We’ll figure it all out—somehow,” she said. Then her voice dropped to a whisper. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Addison positioned Emma to face her. “You are not going to lose me, Emma. Where did that come from?”
Emma could not meet Addison’s eyes and Addison’s heart sank.
“There is no way you are going to lose me,” Addison assured her lover. “No way,” she said, directing Emma’s eyes to look into hers. “I just don’t want to do anything that could hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” Emma asked in confusion.
“Yeah. Hurt you.” Addison took a deep breath and groaned. “Shit, Em. I suck at hiding my feelings. You know? I always have. I think that’s why I started writing if you want to know the truth,” Addison said.
Emma looked at her curiously.
Addison chuckled. “What I mean is, I had to find a way to get it all out—all of my feelings. My mom always said I was an open book. I couldn’t be an open book, not there. I didn’t want everyone to know what I felt. You know what I mean?” Addison asked.
Emma nodded. She understood what Addison was saying. While Emma had never struggled with questions about her sexuality when she was young, she could imagine what that would be like in a small town. The truth was, Emma had experienced a few crushes on other girls, but she always chalked them up to curiosity and left it at that. She was so busy with activities that she hadn’t attached herself to anyone emotionally until she met her ex-boyfriend, Kevin. That had ended horribly. Since meeting Addison, Emma had begun to contemplate why she’s never felt inclined to pursue a relationship with anyone she dated, and why she felt such a strong pull toward acting. Her career often demanded that what she displayed outwardly differed immensely from what she felt inwardly. Nothing had changed, and yet everything had changed for Emma since Addison had come into her life. She had come to a few conclusions herself over the last few months.
