The Beginning, page 20
part #0.50 of Off Screen Series
Addison remained tight-lipped about that meeting and uncharacteristically quiet about what was keeping her at work late all week. Tomorrow, they planned to leave for Kansas. Emma hoped that some time away from the chaos associated with their careers might give them both some clarity and a chance to clear the air.
“Oh, Sandra—trust me, Addison would never be inclined toward acting.” Emma laughed. “And, as for being in sync, I don’t think you should make us your litmus test.”
Sandra looked at Emma curiously.
“It’s nothing.”
“She’s probably pissed at Bellson,” Sandra guessed.
“Safe bet there.”
“Look, Emma, I know I’m not really what you are used to working with.”
“What do you mean?” Emma asked.
“I mean that I’m not Finn Scott. I’m not Bryce Cannon.”
“I should hope not,” Emma quipped.
“I mean, I’m not as experienced.”
“Well, I’m sure they are both more experienced lesbians than I am too, Sandra,” Emma joked.
Sandra couldn’t help but laugh.
“You need to remember something.”
“What’s that?”
“Finn was Steven Scott Finnegan long before Finn Scott adorned any magazine covers. And, Bryce? Bryce is a guy with a million dollar smile that started out doing pet food commercials.”
“And you?”
Emma nodded. “Me? I am Emmie Bronson. I got some great chances and they panned out.”
“Because you’re good,” Sandra mumbled.
“So, are you,” Emma complimented. “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. I was so nervous the first month I worked on Found that I threw up before every scene.”
“Seriously?” Sandra asked in disbelief.
“Swear.”
“It is intimidating,” Sandra said again. “Playing a lesbian against a lesbian when you are not a lesbian.”
“That was a mouthful,” Emma said. “No pun intended,” she winked.
Sandra chuckled.
“That’s why it’s called acting. Do you feel uncomfortable when we are on camera?” Emma asked.
“Not at all.”
“Well, there’s your answer. If you ever do—if anything Addy, Jeff or anyone writes doesn’t make sense to you for Jack, you need to say so. That’s your job. If I piss you off, feel free to tell me.”
“Thanks, Emma.”
“No thanks needed,” Emma said. She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“Hey,” Sandra said. “Don’t sweat it.”
Emma opened her eyes in bewilderment.
“Bellson could piss off Mother Teresa. Whatever has Addison pissed, it will pass.”
Emma nodded her thanks as the door opened. Sandra’s candid admissions shed a new light on her personality and feelings. It alleviated at least one concern that had been plaguing Emma’s thoughts. There might just be hope for all of us yet.
***
“Jesus, Addy, aren’t you packed yet?” Tamara asked her best friend.
“No. What are you the packing police?” Addison snapped.
“Wow. Who killed your puppy?” Tamara asked.
Addison flopped down on the end of the bed and put her face in her hands. “This week sucked."
“Maybe this will cheer you up,” Tamara said. She grabbed the box that she had tucked away in her bag and handed it to Addison. Addison accepted it and nodded. “So? Are you going to do it?” Tamara asked.
“Do what?” Addison wondered. She opened the box and a forlorn smile touched her lips at the sight of the ring.
“Propose.”
Addison closed the box. “Truthfully, I was planning to this week in Kansas.”
“Really?” Tamara asked excitedly.
“Was is the key word.”
“Why? What happened? Did Emma say she doesn’t want to get married or something?”
“Emma didn’t say anything at all about how she feels. That’s the problem,” Addison answered.
“What do you mean? She didn’t want to talk about it?”
“No,” Addison said. “I never brought it up.”
“Addison, for someone who makes their living writing words you are not making a damn bit of sense.”
“What did she say in that interview? We haven’t had much time to brew our coffee in the morning, much less discuss politics or marriage. I think that was it.”
“Okay, that was an interview. You just said you haven’t discussed it,” Tamara reminded Addison.
“So? She could have said that she believes in commitment. She could have said that she wants to get married someday. She talked about coffee!”
“Oh. My. God. Are you twelve?” Tamara asked.
Addison snickered.
“Your answer wasn’t exactly an exercise in romance, Addy.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t think anyone should be pressured into marriage. That’s what you said,” Tamara said. “
And? I don’t think anyone should get married because someone pressures them,” Addison said.
“Uh-huh. I wonder if that’s how Emma took that statement.”
“I didn’t mean that I feel pressured,” Addison said. “Shit! Tam, she just made light of it.”
“Addy, I love you, but you are thick sometimes. I was so stressed worrying about you and this whole—Well, what I thought was a premature idea of getting engaged,” Tamara said.
“And, what? Now you think I should ask her?”
“I don’t know. Christie reminded me of what Emma said when that crazy woman asked about wedding invitations.”
“What are you talking about?” Addison snapped.
“Well, you were there!” Tamara shot back. “She asked if anyone might get a wedding invitation soon.”
Addison tried to recall that part of their interview with Jennifer Daly, but she couldn’t seem to remember that question. “She asked that?”
“Oh, my God. First you’re twelve now you’re a hundred and senile!”
“What do you want from me?” Addison asked in frustration.
Tamara sighed.
“What did she say?” Addison asked.
“Who?” Tamara tried to regain her footing.
“Emma!”
“You don’t have to yell! God!”
“What did she say?” Addison softened her tone.
“You really don’t remember, do you?” Tamara asked.
Addison shook her head. “She said that no one had gotten down on her knee—yet.”
Addison’s head popped up.
“Mm.” Tamara grinned.
“I don’t know.”
“Want my advice?” Tamara asked.
“Usually? No. Today? Yes.”
“Take the ring to Kansas. See what happens.”
Addison fought to breathe. “I don’t know. I have marriage on the brain.”
Tamara laughed.
“It’s not what you think,” Addison said. “Well, it is but it’s more than that,” she continued.
Tamara finally took a seat next to Addison on the bed and listened.
“Bellson demanded that I write a new character. They contracted Dan Starr for a second season, beginning in this season’s last episode.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? I mean, Addy, Dan Starr is like uber-popular.”
Addison groaned. “Yeah.”
“And, you write characters every day. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that his character is slated to marry Genevieve.”
Tamara went slack-jawed.
“Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.”
“But, the whole story is about Jack and Genevieve,” Tamara said.
“And, it still will be—only with a twist. Genevieve gets a beard. What a crock of shit. All week, all I have been able to think about is marriage, and not even my own!” Addison complained.
Tamara chuckled.
“Glad you find it so amusing.”
Tamara put her arm around Addison. “Maybe it’s a sign.”
“Of what? The end times?” Addison tried to joke.
Tamara laughed. “Pack the ring, Addy.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s the right time.”
“Pack it,” Tamara said flatly.
“What’s got you so high on this whole marriage proposition? Are you waiting to see me make an ass of myself or are you taking notes for future reference?”
Tamara shook her head.
“Tam? You and Christie okay?”
“Yeah. We are. That’s just it, Addy. We’re okay and that is okay for now.”
“I thought you liked her?” Addison asked.
“I do. I just don’t know if she’s my Emma.”
Addison understood. “Does she know that?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m her Addy.”
Addison detected doubt in Tamara’s admission. She wasn’t sure if Tamara doubted the truth in what she was saying, or if it was something else. “I’m sorry, Tam,” Addison said.
“Don’t be. I love her,” Tamara said.
Addison’s confusion was evident.
Tamara laughed. “I don’t see us having family get-togethers, buying a house, or waking up with each other every morning.”
“Don’t knock it, Tam.”
Tamara nodded. “I’m not. I’m happy for you. I love Christie, but I’m not sure that’s enough. I’m not sure we are in love. Know what I mean?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“You, however, are in love. And, before you say another word, so is Emma.”
“Thanks,” Addison said. “I know that and I—Well, I appreciate it. Everything.”
“I know you do. You and Emma can name your first born after me.”
“First born?” Addison laughed. “I haven’t even asked her to marry me and you have one of us knocked up already?”
“Yeah, and don’t you even think about trying to get me to pay for that shit on my Platinum card.”
“Some friend.” Addison winked. “Won’t even pay for her namesake.”
“Ha-ha! I knew it! You are such a sap, Addy.”
Addison smiled. There was no point in denying it. “Don’t get the name plate made yet,” she said solemnly.
“Aw, hell, Addy. You’re headed to Kansas. Just drop the house on her and drag her away.”
“So, romantic, Tam,” Addison laughed. “We’ll see. The way this week has gone, she might drop a house on me, take my shoes and run.”
“No one would take those shoes.” Tamara pinched her nose.
“Asshole.” Addison laughed. “Emma likes my feet.”
“More information than I ever needed,” Tamara said as she reached her feet.
“Are you leaving?” Addison asked.
“Yep. I have a date with my not-Emma.”
“Say hello for me.”
“I will,” Tamara promised.
Before the door closed, Addison heard Tamara yell back through the house. “PACK IT!”
Addison shook her head, opened the box and looked the ring again. “Maybe.”
***
Emma crept into the bedroom and found Addison asleep. The light was still on. Their bags were set against the wall. Addison was still fully dressed, lying on top of the covers with a book across her chest. Emma sat down beside her lover and removed the book.
Addison stirred. “Hey,” Addison yawned. “How was your soiree?”
Emma kissed Addison’s forehead. “Dull.”
Addison pried one eye open and looked at her lover skeptically. “Dull? You mean you would have rather been packing?”
“I would rather have been home.”
Addison scooted over and pulled Emma down onto the bed. “I missed you,” she said honestly.
“Missed my packing skills, huh?” Emma chided.
Addison leaned in and kissed Emma’s lips. “No,” she said softly. “I missed you all week.”
Emma swept the hair out of Addison’s eyes and brought their lips together again. She missed Addison as well. Emma was not accustomed to emotional distance with Addison. One of her greatest concerns about them working together had been the toll she feared it might take on their personal life. In her experience, a bit of physical space sometimes helped to alleviate emotional distance. They had been together constantly for weeks. The moment they returned home and had a few days to relax, tension had settled between them rather than relief. As she felt Addison’s hands travel gracefully over her hips, Emma felt as if she had finally come home. “Addy, aren’t you tired?” she asked.
Addison took Emma’s face in her hands and kissed her deeply in response.
Emma closed her eyes and fell into Addison gratefully. She needed to be close to the woman she loved.
Addison’s kiss traveled from Emma’s lips slowly down her neck. She lifted her hand and began unbuttoning the blouse that Emma wore. One at a time, methodically, Addison released each button until the blouse fell open. “So, beautiful,” she whispered seductively.
Emma was already lost to the sensations of Addison’s hands and lips as they mapped out the familiar landscape of her body. No matter how many times they made love, Addison touched her as if she had never felt Emma’s body close before. Emma looked down at Addison just as Addison looked up to meet her hungry gaze. Addison’s hand slid Emma’s blouse off of her shoulders and delicately pulled her bra strap down. She cupped Emma’s breast and nipped lightly at her lover’s exposed shoulder. “Addy,” Emma breathed out her lover’s name.
Addison recognized the familiar plea. She removed Emma’s bra and traced the outlines of two full breasts with her tongue. She glanced up to watch Emma’s eyes close in anticipation. Addison kissed over both of Emma’s breasts gently before tracing an erect nipple with her tongue.
Emma cried out.
“Mmm,” Addison moaned as she sucked the small pink bud between her lips. She’d learned what drove Emma to the brink. Nothing made Emma more aroused than Addison teasing her breasts and nipples. Addison was only too happy to oblige. She could lose herself in Emma forever and never return. Watching Emma’s excitement turn to desperation was intoxicating for Addison. It was better than any drink or any designer drug someone could invent. Emma was addictive. Addison’s tongue circled one nipple tenderly and then drifted to suck the other more forcefully. She continued the dance until she felt the persistent rise of Emma’s hips. She had no intention of relieving the ache she knew had taken up residence between Emma’s legs. Right now, there was an ache in Addison’s heart that drove her to taste every inch of Emma’s flesh. She needed to connect to Emma fully. Emma’s hand had woven itself into Addison’s hair to spur her on. Emma directed Addison closer, but Addison resisted and brought her kiss back to Emma’s lips.
“No,” Addison whispered. She heard Emma’s groan of protest and smiled. “I want you—slowly—until you can’t stand it anymore. And, then,” Addison whispered.
Emma moaned in response.
“And, then I will start again. I want you to need me as much as I need you,” Addison told her lover.
Emma lost her breath. Addison was seldom this forward verbally and Emma loved it. Addison’s breath was hot on her neck. Her nipples strained in the cool air, and she could feel wetness begin to warm her thighs. She wanted Addison to take her, to take control of her. It seemed that was exactly what Addison planned to do.
“I always need you, Addy.”
“Shh,” Addison whispered.
Addison claimed Emma’s lips with a kiss that communicated so much yearning, Emma felt a steady quivering begin between her legs. She threw her head back in pleasure, and Addison immediately seized the opportunity, sucking on the exposed flesh of Emma’s pulse point. Emma grabbed onto the bed in an attempt to steady herself. It did little to contain her body’s response. Her hips rose off of the bed instinctively, and a low, sensuous moan escaped her parted lips.
Addison’s arousal was palpable. She had every intention of driving them both crazy for as long as she could stand it. She dropped her lips back over Emma’s left nipple and traced Emma’s right nipple with her fingers. Emma’s body was in constant motion, becoming more desperate for release with each second that Addison continued her teasing. Addison smiled when she felt Emma’s legs part and attempt to grind against her. She pulled her lips away from the soft mound beneath them and watched as Emma’s entire body tensed in response. Addison relieved Emma’s frustration momentarily and tugged gently at both of Emma’s nipples.
“Please,” Emma begged.
“Please, what?” Addison asked.
Emma was finding it increasingly difficult to control herself. This was a side of Addison as a lover that made infrequent appearances. Addison was extremely gentle and intentionally loving in both her physical exploration of Emma’s body and in the words that she spoke during their lovemaking. Emma had encouraged more boldness from Addison. She understood that Addison feared she might misinterpret something. They had both been hurt in the past. Pain had caused Addison to make some interesting distinctions between making love and having sex. Emma wanted Addison to trust that no matter how they spoke or what they explored together, each time they came together they would be making love.
Emma felt Addison running through her, through every nerve ending and fiber of her being. Addison’s confidence was like an aphrodisiac. It made Emma crave release, and at the same time, she desperately wanted Addison to draw out her arousal as long as possible.
“What do you want, Em?” Addison asked before sucking gently on one of Emma’s nipples.
“I want you to touch me.”
“No, you don’t,” Addison said bluntly.
Emma squirmed beneath Addison’s touch.
“Not yet,” Addison told her. Addison straddled Emma’s hips and pulled the T-shirt she was wearing over her head.
Emma took in the sight of Addison above her and licked her lips.
Addison reached back and unhooked her bra, slowly removing it to expose her breasts to Emma. She grinned down at her frustrated lover and lowered herself just above Emma’s lips. Addison could feel the warmth of Emma’s breath on her breasts and she gave into her own desire for a moment. She felt a twinge of pleasure settle in her core as they moaned in unison when Emma sucked a soft nipple into her mouth.
