The Beginning, page 19
part #0.50 of Off Screen Series
There was a great deal of truth in what the talk show host had said. And, the questions may have been a bit intrusive, but Emma had to admit that they were logical. She’d been pondering how to broach the subject with Addison for the last two days. Emma was at a loss for how to begin. Should she ask Addison directly why Jennifer’s question about marriage bothered her so much? Should she tell Addison how she felt about marriage—how she felt about the idea of them being married? She looked over the top of her book at Addison as the writer paced the room and sighed. She simply wasn’t sure what she should say.
“Now?” Addison barked at the person on the other end of the line. “What is so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow morning?”
Emma peered over the top of her book again to catch a glimpse of Addison’s clearly agitated state. That doesn’t sound good.
“Fine,” Addison said abruptly. “Unbelievable,” she groaned.
“Everything okay?” Emma asked.
Addison took a deep breath and let it out. The last thing she wanted was to be short with Emma. She was still reeling from Jennifer Daly’s questions. She knew that Emma suspected that, and she knew Emma would never be able to understand why. When she mulled it over in her mind, Addison had to admit that even she was not certain why she was so upset. Part of it was fear. She immediately wondered if somehow Jennifer Daly had found out about the ring she had purchased the week before. Maybe Addison had not fooled that store clerk with her story about Tamara.
In those first seconds, sitting in that interview chair, Addison had felt completely exposed. She didn’t know how Emma felt about the possibility of marriage, much less a marriage to her. Then, there was Emma’s reaction or lack thereof. Emma seemed unfazed by Jennifer’s question. That left Addison wondering if Emma was hoping for their relationship to become a more formal commitment or whether Emma had little care about it ever heading in that direction. So, what if Emma had been looking at a ring online? Addison didn’t actually know what that meant. It could have been anything. It certainly didn’t mean Emma was fantasizing about proposals, weddings, or marriage. Addison groaned inwardly as all of her questions ran through her mind for the umpteenth time in a couple of days.
Addison took another deep breath, managed a halfhearted smiled and made her way to Emma. “I have to go into the office,” she explained.
Emma nodded.
Addison could see the questions lingering in the eyes she adored. She leaned in and kissed Emma tenderly. “I’ll try not to be too late.”
Emma nodded again as Addison began to walk away. “Addy,” she called out.
Addison turned.
“I love you, you know?”
Addison smiled genuinely. “Of course, I know. I love you too, Em,” she promised before leaving.
Emma heard the door close and put down her book. “This can’t go on,” she told herself. “You need to grab that bull by the horns and have a talk.” She chuckled. “Maybe today is a good day to meet Jerry for that wardrobe fitting.”
***
“What!” Addison bellowed across the office at Don Bellson.
Jeffrey cowered in the corner of the room.
“Do you agree with this?” she asked Jeffrey pointedly, receiving a shrug in response. “No. I’m not doing it,” she said defiantly.
“You are doing it. We have the chance to sign Dan Starr and we are not going to lose it. This deal will guarantee you see a season two. Now, get off your artistic high-horse and make it work!” Bellson demanded.
Jeffrey watched as Addison and Don Bellson engaged in an intense staredown. His cell phone buzzed, and he took the opportunity to make his excuse and leave. “Have to take this, sorry,” he said sheepishly as he scurried from the room, leaving Addison and Bellson in exactly the same position. “Thank God!” he said in relief when he passed through the door. “No,” he said into the phone. “Sorry, Steve. You just saved me from being a casualty of Hurricane Addison. I’ll be right there. I’d much rather review revisions, trust me.”
***
Emma had made her decision. She needed to complete a wardrobe fitting sometime this week. Agreeing to meet today gave her the perfect excuse to find Addison and confront the questions in her mind directly with her lover. It was a simple plan. She would have her fitting, find Addison and suggest that they pick up some take-out food, open a bottle of wine and talk about the trip. Beginning tomorrow, Emma’s schedule would be hectic. She had two press junkets scheduled with Sandra, an appearance on a late night show, and an appearance on behalf of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. And, of all things, an appearance at a marriage equality event. It was now or never, at least, never in the rest of this week. Friday she and Addison were set to leave for Kansas. Emma wanted to clear the air before they were faced with her family.
Emma left the wardrobe fitting and headed straight for Addison’s office—no Addison. She huffed in frustration and headed back out the door. “Hey, Marianne! Any idea where Addy is?” Emma asked one of the administrative assistants.
Marianne grimaced. “Last I knew she was in the lion’s den.”
“Bellson?” Emma guessed.
Marianne nodded.
“Fabulous. That should put her in just the right mood,” she groaned. “Thanks, Marianne.”
“Sorry,” the woman said honestly.
Emma smiled and headed toward Don Bellson’s office.
***
“I said no,” Addison held firm.
“And, I told you that this time you have no choice. You write it, or I will have someone else do it.”
Emma stopped outside Don Bellson’s door when she heard Addison yell.
“This is insane! You have lost your mind!”
“What exactly,” Don Bellson fired back, “is your issue with marriage, Blake?”
“I don’t have an issue with marriage, Don. I have a problem with marriages made for the wrong reasons. It would never happen. I should know.”
“Oh? There are all kinds of marriages. I should know,” he countered.
“Not for me,” Addison said bluntly.
“Hey!” Jeffrey called when he saw Emma standing outside Bellson’s door. “She still in there?” Emma turned, and Jeffrey was startled by her pale complexion. “Hey, Em, you okay?”
Emma was trembling but managed to nod her head. “Just, she sounds—”
“Pissed?” Jeffrey guessed.
Emma nodded again.
“Yeah, well, I can’t say that I blame her this time. Bellson’s way off base on this one, I think. But, he is the boss at the end of the day.”
Emma’s sad smile was barely detectable.
“What are you doing here?” he finally asked.
“I had a wardrobe fitting,” Emma explained. “I thought I would catch Addy and grab dinner.”
“Yeah, I’m betting she’ll be here a while,” he said. “You need a ride? You don’t look so great, Em.”
“No, thanks, Jeff. I’m okay—honestly. Think I’m still getting used to being three hours behind again. Long week ahead of me.”
“Are you sure? I can give you a lift or—”
“No, no. If you see Addy, tell her I tried to catch her. I’m just going to grab something on my way home and go crash. I’ll see her later.”
Jeffrey regarded Emma thoughtfully. Either his friend was not feeling up to par or she was upset about something. With Emma, it was sometimes difficult to tell the difference. It was a necessary skill to learn to work when you were under the weather and Emma had mastered it long ago. The same was true emotionally. Actors were not allowed the luxury of personal emotion on set. Emma had learned to mask her feelings on set and pour them into her work. Jeffrey had learned how to read his friend in most instances. Today, she was as ambiguous as ever. “Emma, listen—”
“Jeff, I’m fine.” Emma finally smiled. “Just exhausted. Tell Addy I’ll see her at home,” she said with a squeeze to his arm.
Jeffrey watched Emma leave and looked back at Bellson’s door. “Can’t avoid it forever, Jeffrey, my boy. I’m going in.”
“Why, Addison? Why would Genevieve not get married? It was 1950. It happened all the time. Still does in point of fact,” Bellson said.
Addison flopped into a chair in defeat. “Don, Genevieve loves Jack. That’s the whole point.”
“Yes, and I never said that would change. Genevieve might just marry someone as a convenience—a beard for her, a pocketbook for him.”
“You want me to write her a gay husband?” Addison finally laughed. “Don, that’s a bit gay, even for me.”
“No. I want you to write her a movie star husband who wants to have his cake and eat it too. That’s what I want.”
“Feed all the masses, is that your plan?” Addison asked sarcastically.
“Like it or not, you have no show without sponsors. You have no sponsors without viewers. The more viewers, the more sponsors. You do the math, Blake.”
Addison’s resolve had grown weak. There was no way she was going to win this battle and she knew it. “When?” she asked with disbelief, disgust, and exasperation.
“First draft of the last episode before you leave for Kansas,” he answered.
“How prominent in the story do you intend this character to be,” she asked, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it for some reason.
“Featured. Prominently. Think about it like this—Emma, Sandra, Dan. There you have it,” Bellson said.
Addison shook her head, stood, and squared her shoulders. “Looks like I have some work to do,” she said as she walked out of the office.
***
Addison walked into the house, threw her keys on the table and stretched. It had taken her two hours to calm down enough to begin drafting a script. She remained both furious and convinced that Don Bellson’s demands were out of line and would hurt the show. She had left Emma a message earlier to say that she had no idea when she might make it home. The lights were out. The house was quiet. Emma had undoubtedly retired. Addison felt a bit guilty that she was relieved. It had been a long day. She was worn-out physically and emotionally. All she wanted to do was sleep, and any talk of the day that had just passed would inevitably fire her up again. She sighed dramatically and headed for the bathroom to wash up.
The bedroom was dark. Addison gave her eyes a moment to adjust and made her way into the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face and looked at her weary reflection. “Fuck,” she groaned. “Today sucked.” She finished her nightly ritual quickly, shed her clothing and smiled when she saw the T-shirt hung over the towel bar for her. Emma apparently anticipated her late return. Addison slipped on the shirt and made her way to bed. She slipped in beside Emma as quietly as she could manage and placed a light kiss on her lover’s head.
“You’re home,” Emma grumbled almost incoherently.
“Yeah. I didn’t mean to wake you,” Addison said.
Emma shifted and moved to wrap herself around Addison. She rested her head on Addison’s chest and breathed in deeply.
Addison smiled and kissed Emma’s head again. “Go back to sleep,” she said. She felt Emma grasp her more firmly. Emma was not fully awake, and Addison found her actions adorable. “I’m home. Go back to sleep.”
“Wanted you to hold me,” Emma mumbled.
Addison stroked Emma’s hair and held her close. “Always, Em.” The sound of Emma’s rhythmic breathing and the warmth of Emma’s body pressed against her calmed Addison. She closed her eyes and let the world fall away. Tomorrow would arrive much too quickly for her liking. Addison nestled closer to her lover and sighed in contentment, selfishly wishing she could stay in the moment forever. “Someone has to get their happy ending,” she mused as she finally drifted off to sleep.
***
“You know, you could at least pretend you don’t mind being here,” Sandra said to Emma pointedly.
Emma blew out a heavy breath and threw her head back. “I’m sorry.”
Sandra MacMillan could test Emma’s patience. She was an ambitious young actress with aspirations of super-stardom. Emma had worked with a few actors with that mentality. In truth, Sandra was extremely talented. Emma had concerns about Sandra’s expectations that she had not voiced to anyone, not even to Addison. She hoped that time and experience would temper the young woman’s anticipation and ground her in a healthier reality. She feared that if Off Screen did not immediately launch Sandra’s celebrity the way that Sandra hoped, that the young actress might seek other avenues to elevate her notoriety. Emma had seen that happen before. In some ways, it was what Kevin had done to her in the press after their break up. It had happened to one of her co-stars during the second season of Found. The show was Finn Scott’s second huge hit. He and Emma had hit it off immediately. Emma realized early on that Finn was more than a name the studio had signed to sell the show. Finn Scott was talented, hard-working, humble, and Emma surmised that she could learn a great deal from him. Her inclination had proved correct. She welcomed Finn’s advice and friendship and was content to allow him the spotlight at promotional events and critically.
Their third co-star, Grace Evans, had a different approach to working with the famous actor. She had arrived on day one of filming with a noticeable chip on her shoulder. It puzzled Emma. Grace had only made a few brief appearances in feature films and a handful of television guest spots. Found would be her first recurring role. Somehow, Grace Evans had determined that her role made her someone of great importance. When the press and the public did not respond as she anticipated to her character on Found, Grace took another approach. She started the rumor mill spinning, claiming that Finn was bedding many of the guest stars all the while treating her poorly because she had brushed off his advances. The gossip machine ate it up. Grace was suddenly on every gossip magazine in the grocery store check-out line. Finn endured endless questions and a good deal of unkind comments by women who saw Grace’s bandwagon as a ticket to attention.
The show's success didn't suffer, but the scandal took a personal and professional toll on Finn. After six months of repeated requests, Emma finally agreed to an interview. She approached it as diplomatically as possible but was determined to be honest. Emma’s reluctance to speak about the on-set rift between her co-stars had given her immediate credibility with the public. Her compassionate yet no-nonsense approach to quelling the negative rumors about Finn had consequences she did not anticipate. Emma’s star shot into a distant orbit. Grace’s character was killed off early in the third season, and Emma found herself confronting rumors of a secret love affair with Finn. That led to an on-screen romance between their characters that catapulted Found into the top five shows on network television for the next three years.
All in all, Grace’s actions had, in a roundabout way, helped both Emma and Finn professionally. It was not without a price. Grace’s continued proclamations about Finn had fractured trust on the set. The ensuing tension lasted over a year. There had been more than a few days that going to work had been painful for Emma. Emma had emerged from the experience changed. She no longer trusted as willingly. It was a lesson that Jeffrey and Finn helped her to navigate, but it was an experience that would always linger in the back of her mind. Emma was confident that she could handle Sandra. She would not take anything Sandra said or did personally. Addison trusted easily and Emma was fiercely protective of her. She could deal with nearly anything, but she would not tolerate anyone hurting Addison.
It had not escaped Emma’s notice that Sandra made a point to find an excuse to mention and clarify her sexuality in the press. My boyfriend. Playing a lesbian is great because it allows me to experience a reality so far from my own. Those types of deliberate statements sent up red flags for Emma. They were either evidence of Sandra’s professional immaturity or they were premeditated declarations to set the stage just in case Sandra needed them to refer to later. The jury in Emma’s mind was still assessing facts before drawing a conclusion. That made Emma cautious around her co-star.
“You’ve been unusually quiet all week,” Sandra said. The pair was sitting in a small hotel ballroom waiting for their next interviewer to arrive.
“I am sorry, I haven’t slept much this week,” Emma confessed.
Sandra looked at her co-star and nodded. “Emma?”
“Yeah?”
“No one is here but us—so, what gives?” Sandra asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you don’t like me much.”
Emma sighed with frustration. “That’s not true,” she said honestly.
“Okay? You’ve barely spoken to me off the set and you’ve hardly said a paragraph the last three days in between appearances and interviews. Did I piss you off somehow already?” Sandra asked bluntly.
Emma laughed. This was a side to Sandra she had not seen yet. It was refreshing. “Should I be pissed at you about something? You after my woman?” Emma teased deliberately. She was curious to see how Sandra would react.
“Addison?” Sandra asked.
Emma nodded.
“Don’t get me wrong, Emma, Addison is completely hot.”
Emma lifted a brow in surprise.
“Not really my type, but based on the love scenes I’ve read—”
Emma smacked Sandra lightly. “Okay, enough.” She chuckled.
“To tell you the truth it’s kind of intimidating,” Sandra said.
“What is?” Emma wondered.
“Working with you and Addison.”
“Intimidating? Me and Addy?” Emma shook her head. Addison was a teddy bear, and Emma had been called many things over the years, intimidating was not one of the adjectives she recalled.
“Don’t laugh. It’s true.”
“Sandra, have Addy or I made you feel uncomfortable somehow?” Emma asked.
“No. You’re just so in sync all the time. Sometimes I think she should skip writing and play Jack herself,” Sandra admitted.
Emma found Sandra’s words ironic. She hadn’t felt in sync with Addison for over a week. They’d barely seen each other, and when they did have time together the atmosphere had ranged anywhere from awkward to downright uncomfortable. Emma, for her part, was unsure what to say to Addison after overhearing Addison’s conversation with Don Bellson earlier in the week.
