The Beginning, page 27
part #0.50 of Off Screen Series
“I want Tam,” Christie admitted.
Emma smiled. “Why don’t you tell her that?”
Christie shook her head. “Emma, Tam has a life in Los Angeles. She just landed a great job at Aris Pictures. She’s close to Addy and you. I can’t ask her to leave that, and I’m not moving back. In fact, I’m thinking of selling my house at the beach.”
Emma remained silent for a few moments before offering her thoughts. “Is there a reason you want to stay in Vancouver? What about when the show ends?”
“I might not stay there. Maybe Seattle. I don’t know. It’s close enough and still far enough away,” Christie said. “I can be myself,” she explained.
Emma nodded. “You can’t be yourself in California?”
Christie smiled. “Maybe someday, Em. Even if I was out, I’m not you. I don’t want to live in the thick of it. It’s too much pressure—too many eyes, and far too may ears. Jesus, you and Addy have been living under a microscope for over a year.”
“It’s actually not that bad.” Emma laughed. “It was for a little while. It might not seem like it, but the attention has died down a lot. It’s a novelty. We were a novelty,” she said. “Now that the wedding is over, we’re yesterday’s news.”
“Until the next thing,” Christie interjected.
“Yes, but there is always a next thing, Chris. You know that. If I weren't with Addy, it would be something or someone else. That goes with the territory. If you love Tam, tell her what you want and let her decide.”
“Maybe,” Christie said. “How do you do it? You’ve always been private, Emma.”
Emma shrugged. “I still am. I don’t think about it. Oil and water. That’s my life. Who people think I am? That’s the oil on top. Underneath it is the reality. People see the shimmer at the top. I let them see it. I know what lies beneath the surface. Addy told me once a long time ago that people will see what they want to see. She was right.”
“She’s good for you.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Tam calls you two Ozzie and Harriett behind your backs, you know?” Christie laughed.
Emma rolled her eyes. “Which one am I?”
Christie and Emma both broke out into laughter.
“I wish our problems could be solved in the space of twenty minutes,” Emma offered sincerely. “And, before you say anything, we have our moments.”
“I know. Working together can’t always be easy.”
“True statement. Addy’s pretty easy going. When it comes to the show, she can be a bear at times. She really does not appreciate Bellson. This is her baby. Know what I mean?” Emma asked.
Christie nodded.
“But, she always makes it work somehow. It just takes her a little while. Sometimes, that means giving her a little space. Sometimes, it means forcing her hand a bit. I’ve made the wrong call a couple of times,” Emma admitted with a chuckle.
“I can’t imagine Addy mad at you.”
Emma laughed harder. “Imagine Ricky Ricardo.”
Christie laughed. “I can see that.”
Emma winked. “Talk to Tam, Chris. Look at me? She might just surprise you.”
“Maybe,” Christie said.
Emma smiled at her friend and sipped her coffee.
“Speaking of surprises, how do you plan on surprising the missus tomorrow?”
Emma grinned. “Let’s just say I’ve made a few purchases in black.”
“Giving her a little inspiration, huh?”
“One can hope,” Emma replied. “I think she’s going to be more than a little surprised.”
“I’m not sure I want to know what that means.”
Emma giggled. “She asked for black; she didn’t specify what she wanted in the color.” Emma raised a mischievous eyebrow.
Christie shook her head with amusement.
Emma winked at her friend. She was looking forward to going home and surprising Addison. Listening to Christie, Emma realized how fortunate she was to have the relationship she shared with Addison. They had learned the hard way that communication was the key to avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings. It was better to disagree honestly than to play guessing games. She didn’t always agree with Addison. Addison didn’t always see things as Emma did. They managed to compromise or to acquiesce to the others needs at times. She was tempted to offer more advice to Christie. Emma had also come to understand that there were certain things a couple had to learn on their own and in their own time. She was still learning every day about Addison. Christie and Tamara would need to find their way. God, am I glad I am not single anymore. She smiled behind her cup of coffee at that reality. See you tomorrow, Addy.
Chapter Seventeen
Addison had managed to avoid Don Bellson all week, and she still wasn’t prepared to face him. They had worked through disagreements and differences of opinion before. This time, Addison was not sure she could concede to the man’s wishes. Addison had a host of reasons she opposed Bellson’s latest demand. The fact was, if he remained adamant, the storyline would be written by someone. Addison and Jeff had hired an adept team of writers. It wouldn’t be a difficult task to assign the script to any one of them. She was completely aware that any one of them would jump at the chance to write the story.
Writing an unexpected love scene between Genevieve and Dominick would be a challenge—one that would definitely enthrall audiences. It would anger some and appeal to others. In truth, if she were a staff writer, Addison was positive she would jump at the opportunity to sink her teeth into such a script. She was not a staff writer. Off Screen was her show. Genevieve and Jack might have been characters, but to Addison they were people. She had originally written the screenplay as a love letter to Emma. She’s written it as a way to express what she felt for the actress at a time when she never expected Emma to return her love. Addison created the love affair she desired and set it in a different time and place. Off Screen was personal—far more so than Don Bellson, Jeff MacManus, or anyone on their team could understand. The characters also meant something to their audience, something that was also intensely personal. Addison took that seriously.
Addison was unnerved by the situation. She was already frustrated by a severe case of writer’s block. Turning this possible twist over and over in her mind added to her stress. She was running on a short fuse. She prided herself on being able to control her temper. Addison could feel an explosion building. Her body felt like a pressure cooker. The weekend with Tamara, accompanied by a healthy consumption of beer had served to calm her for a couple of days. As soon as Addison’s hand had reached the door to her office on Monday, the slow burn began all over again. She was simmering, and at any minute her anger was going to boil over. Addison could feel it. She prayed she would be able to wrestle it into submission before Emma returned home on Saturday.
“Addy?” Jeff called into Addison’s office.
Addison looked up and grimaced.
“Bellson wants to see me?”
“No. He’s not here. I think he’s avoiding you too,” Jeff said.
“But, he’s not avoiding you. So, what? You’re his emissary? Or are you his henchman?” Addison asked pointedly.
Jeff let out a heavy sigh. “Addison, look, I hate to disagree with you on this one.”
Addison nodded. “But, you do, disagree with me.”
“What did you think would happen? For God’s sake, Addy! Dominick and Genevieve are married! Not to mention that Emma and Dan are two of the hottest commodities in television right now. Didn’t you think this was inevitable?”
Addison battled a rising wave of anger. She could feel it about to crest. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, hoping to ride it just a few minutes longer until it settled on the shore again. When she opened her eyes, she was met with Jeff’s frustrated gaze.
“What I thought?” Addison asked for clarification.
Jeff just stared at her.
“What I never thought was that Genevieve would be married, Jeff. You are asking me to project what I thought? Since when does it matter what I think?”
“Of course, it matters! Addison, this is still your show more than anyone’s.”
“Bullshit!” Addison yelled. “Don’t feed me that bullshit line Jeffrey. We both know it’s bullshit. You want to come in here and try and talk me off the ledge I’ve been dangling over all week? Is that what Donny boy thinks? I’ll just do it because I don’t want anyone else to. You’ll come in here and smooth me over?”
“He thinks you’re opposed to Emma playing the scene,” Jeff said. “He thinks that’s the driver.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Don Bellson thinks I have an issue with Emma playing a love scene? Has he watched the show? Ever?”
“He thinks you have an issue with her playing the scene with Dan. That you might be threatened by that.” Jeff knew that was not the issue, but he also knew that Addison would hear that speculation soon enough around the studio, and he thought it better that she hear it from him.
Addison let out a roaring laugh that was tainted with disgust. “Typical. I know where Emma sleeps. Emma is not Genevieve,” she said flatly.
“Addison, it’s going to get written.”
“I see.”
“It’s not just Don who thinks it’s the right way to go,” he said.
“I see.”
“Do you? I think you are too close to it to see clearly,” Jeff told her.
“Well, that’s an interesting observation. Maybe, just maybe, you and your friend, Don don’t understand why this show matters to so many people. Perhaps, your little male heterosexual privilege makes that impossible for you to understand,” she said defiantly.
“Grow up, Addy! You aren’t running for office. This isn’t a social platform. It’s television. It’s fiction. It’s drama. It’s business!”
Addison poked at her cheek with her tongue. Jeff was her friend, but she had reached her limit. Off Screen was not just television, not to her and not to a lot of other people. She and Emma had both received countless letters from women thanking them for Jack and Genevieve, thanking them for their visibility. Jeff’s words rang in her ears like an echo. Bellson and the studio had paraded her relationship with Emma as exactly that—a social statement. That was a welcome platform when it garnered attention for the show. Now, that was disregarded altogether. It would be Addison on the hook with the LGBT community for this turn. It compromised not only how she regarded the characters, it compromised her integrity, and to some degree Emma’s.
Addison moved around her desk and came face to face with her friend. Right now, friendship was not driving her reactions. “Not a social platform?” she asked him softly.
“No, it isn’t.”
“Only when it serves as a promotional tool,” Addison observed with an eerie calm in her voice.
Jeff stared at her blankly.
“I see,” she said.
“I don’t think you do,” he commented.
“Oh, but I do. Parading us at equality events. Parading our engagement. Allowing our wedding pictures as formal publicity. Having us speak about the importance of a greater number of LGBT characters in media. That’s not making a social statement? That’s just using us. Right? Part of television? Is that right, Jeff?” she asked.
He didn’t answer.
“I see. I do see. Let me tell you what you can’t see. You’ve never had to fear telling anyone about who you love, have you?” she asked him pointedly.
Jeff stared at Addison blankly and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
“No. Never been disowned by someone because of who you loved, have you? Don’t answer that. You don’t need to. Never been called a dyke in the media. Never had to hear yourself or your marriage disparaged on national television. Wait that’s just television, right?”
“Addy—”
“No. You don’t get to reason with me, Jeff. Not this time. Don’t you dare talk to me about social platforms and business. Don’t you presume to understand why I feel the way I do about anything regarding this show. I promise you, you can’t.” Addison saw Jeff opening his mouth to speak and continued. “I’m not through. I’m not your puppet. Neither is Emma. Our relationship is not your fucking publicity plan. So, don’t come in here and lecture me or tell me I need to ‘grow up’. You have no right. I have every reason to disagree with this. And, every reason I have trumps your business inclinations.”
“Maybe so, but it is business, Addison. That’s the way the game is played.”
Addison nodded. “Fuck your business and fuck your games. I’m done playing, Jeff.” Addison grabbed her bag from the side of her desk and turned to leave.
“Addison, this conversation—”
“Is over,” Addison called back without turning to offer her friend another glance.
“Shit,” Jeff groaned.
***
Emma sighed apprehensively when she saw Addison’s car parked in the driveway. She had planned to arrive home before Addison. Fridays were ordinarily a late day at the office for Addison. Emma figured that arriving home by one o’clock would give her plenty of time to set up a romantic surprise.
“She’s home early,” Tamara said.
“Yeah. So much for my surprise,” Emma groaned. “Thanks for picking me up, Tam.”
“No problem. Hey, don’t sweat it. She’ll be thrilled to have you home.”
“I hope so.”
“She will. Do you want me to help you with the bags?” Tamara asked.
“Let’s just stick them in the garage,” Emma suggested. She had a sinking feeling that she couldn’t shake. She thought it best to make her way into the house alone.
“Okay. Are you all right?” Tamara asked.
Emma managed an uncomfortable grin. “I'm all right, Tam. I just hope Addy is,” she said.
Tamara nodded. “She was pretty pissed when she picked me up last Saturday.”
Emma tipped her head in question. “Oh shit, Emma. I don’t know if I should—”
“Tam? Out with it. I already know Bellson is involved. Give me something before I step into the ring.”
Tamara groaned. “Okay, but I never told you. She said she would tell you when you got home.”
“Well, I’m home. So, tell me.”
Tamara cringed. “They want you and Dan to have a love scene,” she said in one full breath.
Emma stood shell-shocked.
“Emma?”
“They want Genevieve to have sex with Dominick?” Emma asked in disbelief.
Tamara nodded, still flinching slightly.
“That would never happen,” Emma said bluntly.
“That’s what Addy said.”
Emma covered her face with her hands and then shook her head. “They think this is a modern day Dynasty or something. Idiots. Thanks, Tam.”
“Sorry,” Tamara said.
Emma smiled. “Don’t be. Thanks again for being my driver, and for the heads up.”
“No problem. Good luck,” Tamara said as she turned to head back to her car.
“Thanks. I might need it,” Emma chuckled.
***
Emma walked into the house and listened for Addison. She didn’t hear anything. That led her to check outside by the pool. When Addison needed to decompress, she often jumped in and swam laps—either that or she collapsed in a lounge chair with a beer. Emma was surprised to find the sliding door closed and locked. There was still no sign of Addison. A sudden crash startled Emma and she took off toward Addison’s home office.
“Fuck!” Addison yelled.
Emma stopped in the doorway. Addison’s laptop was on the floor near the far wall. The screen was cracked. Addison was sitting in her office chair, her face lying on her desk in defeat. Emma had seen Addison lose her cool before. She’d held Addison while she had cried. She could not remember ever seeing Addison appear so defeated. She took a deep breath wondering what had happened beyond the information Tamara had given her.
“Fuck this,” Addison groaned.
“Addy,” Emma called into the room gently.
Addison picked up her head slowly and looked at Emma as if she were a mirage. “Fuck, now I’m hallucinating,” Addison mumbled.
Emma chuckled in spite of the situation.
“Em?” Addison asked in disbelief.
“Hi,” Emma said softly. “What did the laptop do to you?” she asked.
Addison collapsed backward into her chair. “I didn’t expect you home,” she said.
“I know. I wanted to surprise you,” Emma replied.
Addison nodded.
Emma made her way slowly to Addison. Addison swiveled the chair and Emma promptly sat on her lap.
“What’s going on?” Emma asked.
Addison laid her head on Emma’s breast.
Emma ran her fingers through Addison’s hair to comfort her. “Addy?”
“I’m glad you’re home,” Addison whispered.
Emma kissed Addison on the head.
“Sorry, I ruined your surprise.”
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Emma promised.
“Really?” Addison asked sarcastically. “Tell that to my laptop.”
Emma took a deep breath. “Want to tell me what has you so upset?”
“Not really.” Addison chuckled uncomfortably. She held onto Emma. “I can’t do it.”
“Do what?” Emma asked.
“Write.”
Emma debated with herself for less than a second. “You mean write a love scene between Genevieve and Dominick?”
Addison pulled back from Emma’s embrace to look at her. She sighed and shook her head. She was not surprised that Emma had learned of the situation. “That too. I mean write. I just—There’s nothing,” she said.
Emma smiled at Addison. “Did this start before or after you heard about this new idea?”
“I know what you’re thinking. Before. That’s the thing, Em. It’s like I have no idea where to take them now. Maybe Bellson and Jeff are right. Christ knows my well of ideas is as dry as the desert. Maybe it will be great television. I just can’t do that. I won’t do it.”
