Strings Attached, page 21
“Anything.”
“Do you wanna hang out with me till I have to go back to work Saturday?”
Nikki beamed. “I thought you’d never ask.” She grabbed her coat. “My bag’s already packed. I just have to run out to the Jeep and get it.” She yanked open the door. “I wanted to be prepared. You know, just in case you couldn’t be left alone.”
Had she planned to spend the night with me all along? She returned minutes later with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder and lugging her cello.
“You brought your cello?”
Nikki let the bag slide off onto the floor and set down the case. “I need to practice. I still have a lesson on Monday, don’t I?”
“You’re something else, Nikki Razer.”
“I wouldn’t want to disappoint my teacher.” Nikki kissed her, long and slow. “You should meet her. She’s hot.”
“Oh really?”
Nikki nodded. “Really, really hot. And she’s one hell of a kisser, too.” She kissed her again. “She’s also smart. And sweet.” Another scorching kiss. “And she makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches.”
“Now that takes talent.”
“Oh, I could go on and on about how talented she is.” Nikki kissed her way down her neck.
Drew’s breath caught when Nikki dragged her tongue across her collarbone.
“And God, she’s beautiful.”
Nikki’s hot breath nearly caused her legs to crumple beneath her. If she kept this up, they’d never leave the apartment again. “Nikki.”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t you have to practice?”
Nikki straightened up and pouted. “Is my kissing that bad?”
Drew laughed. “The cello, babe. I thought you wanted to practice your lesson?” She placed a soft kiss on Nikki’s lips. “Trust me, you don’t need any practice in the kissing department.”
Nikki grinned from ear to ear. “You called me ‘babe.’ I like that.”
Drew withdrew before she was tempted to kiss her again. They still needed to take things slowly, but it sure felt good to have made a decision about making changes in her life. Now all she had to do was figure out how. Letting go of her fear of dating someone in showbiz might be a good start.
Chapter Thirty-One
Nikki was enjoying one of the best days of her life. She’d take a day like this over a meaningless quickie with a fan any day. Simply being with Drew, doing nothing in particular with no place to go and no other commitments, talking, getting to know each other, and all in the comfort of Drew’s modest apartment. It all created a sense of peace within her she’d never experienced before. She didn’t want the day to end.
She also wondered what tonight would bring. Another night of cuddling? Or would the feelings they’d shared so far lead to sex? It still felt too soon. She knew Drew wouldn’t take the decision lightly either.
It was better to wait. Drew was too special to move too fast. Passion Play wouldn’t go out on the road again until early next summer when their next album was released. That gave them plenty of time to make sure they were on the same page.
After cello practice, they browsed Drew’s DVD collection and selected some movies to watch. Once they settled on the couch again, however, the TV was soon forgotten, and they ended up talking again, this time swapping childhood stories. Then coming out stories. Teenage heartbreaks, crushes on straight girls, college years, and beyond. Everything, in one way or another, revolved around music.
It was after midnight before they were talked out and too tired to delve into any new subjects. Drew clicked off the TV. They unfolded their legs and sat forward. After endless conversation, the awkward silence filling the room now seemed foreign.
“I won’t assume last night’s invitation was a standing one, so I’m fine sleeping on the couch tonight.” She brushed Drew’s bangs back and lightly kissed the bump on her head. “You should really get some rest.”
“Yeah.” Drew nodded and sighed heavily. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” She got up and left the room, taking Nikki’s oxygen with her.
Oh God. What have I gotten myself into? She shook her head vigorously. She could do this. She would respect Drew’s space and take things slowly.
Drew came out of the bathroom with an armload of bedding and a pillow. “I’ll make up the couch if you’d like to use the bathroom.”
Nikki’s expression must have shown her disappointment.
“Don’t get me wrong, I…”
“We shouldn’t move too fast.” Nikki kissed her cheek. “I agree. It’s okay, Drew. Today was amazing. Let’s just leave it at that for tonight, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll take those. I don’t mind putting my bed together.” Nikki accepted the bundle, which Drew seemed to have forgotten she was holding.
“Do you have everything you need?”
Everything but you. But I’m working on that. “Yes, thank you.”
“Good night, then.”
“Good night.”
Drew retreated to her room, closing the door behind her but without latching it. Nikki didn’t want to read too much into that, so before her starving libido could overtake her brain and lead her to Drew’s room, she zipped through her nightly routine and wrapped herself into a cocoon on the couch.
Her mind buzzed with replays of the day, but soon, the gravity of what it all might mean weighed in. It should have scared her shitless. Instead, it lulled her into a dreamless sleep.
It started out dreamless, anyway. She awoke to the memory of Drew sleeping in her arms the night before. The image was so intense it pierced the pitch-black darkness she saw when she opened her eyes. The vision gave way to the fierce throbbing between her thighs. She reached down, tempted to relieve it, but knowing the woman who could satisfy her craving was only yards away seemed like a betrayal to her own body. She withdrew her hand. Go back to sleep.
She did need to pee, however. She stifled a growl and disentangled herself from the covers she’d wrapped too tightly. She refused to look toward Drew’s bedroom directly across from the bathroom and quickly shut the door behind her. After relieving herself, she stared long and hard into the mirror. A few months ago, she’d disliked what she saw. At least now, she could respect the person in the reflection. She leaned on the vanity and dropped her head, closing her eyes. She’d stay at home tomorrow night. This was too hard, and Drew was well enough to be on her own now.
She flipped off the light before opening the door—she didn’t want the light to wake up Drew. She carefully opened the door and stepped right into Drew.
Drew let out a surprised gasp as they collided, and Nikki grabbed her arms to keep from knocking her over.
“Oh! Nikki. Sorry, I didn’t see you.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Yes. What’re you doing up?”
“I went to the kitchen for a drink of water.”
“You need night-lights in this place.” She loosened her grip on Drew’s arms but didn’t let go. They were standing so close she could feel the heat radiating from Drew’s body. Or maybe it was her own. Her eyes finally adjusted, and she could make out Drew’s shadowy form. The pulse down below she’d just dispelled was back. “Well. Uh…I’ll let you get back to bed.”
She moved away, but Drew grabbed her hand. Nikki stilled. Drew rested her palm against her face and stepped closer. Drew’s breath was warm against her throat. Nikki’s heart raced faster and faster, like the crazy, sped-up string orchestra at the end of the Beatles song, “A Day In the Life,” charging through the last few measures, and then, like the final chord slammed down on the piano keys, Drew’s lips suddenly claimed hers.
Nikki stumbled backward, pressed against the wall as Drew fell against her. The initial shock wore off, and Nikki kissed her back ferociously, without apology. She snaked her arms around Drew’s waist, her hands easily finding their way under her T-shirt to caress the softest skin ever. She barely had time to register how good Drew felt before Drew returned the favor.
Drew’s touch turned her insides to lava. She lowered one hand to Drew’s ass and pulled their centers together. She needed to feel Drew against her. Now. Drew moaned into her mouth and rocked with her. Shit, if they kept this up, she’d come within minutes.
Drew broke the kiss. “Take me to bed.” Her words came out in a hard whisper, not a command as much as a plea.
“You sure?”
“Oh yeah.” Drew kissed her hard. “Are you?”
Nikki’s thoughts fast-forwarded to morning. For the first time ever, she knew she’d wake up without regrets. “I’m sure.”
In the dim light from the window, she watched in awe as Drew lifted her shirt over her head, and then dropped her sleep pants to the floor and kicked them off. She was gorgeous. Her breasts were perfect and round, not too small or too big. Her flat stomach, the enticing curve of her hips, her legs firm and strong—an invitation for worship if she ever saw one. Nikki took in every inch of her beauty, thinking of the closeness they’d shared earlier, talking about their lives and their losses. She couldn’t believe Drew had asked her into her bed as well as into her heart.
Drew grabbed fistfuls of Nikki’s shirt and looked at her with a devilish little smile. “This needs to come off.”
Nikki raised her arms and let Drew undress her. Drew sat on the bed, and Nikki bent over and kissed her. Their lips stayed locked as Drew crab-walked backward across the bed and Nikki walked on all fours above her. She brushed her breasts back and forth across Drew’s. The sensation of skin-to-skin contact nearly sent her over the edge. She sat back, straddling her and running her hands over Drew’s torso. She could feel their combined wetness as she gently rocked against her.
“Oh God, Nikki. Oh God, you feel so good.”
“We’re only getting started,” she whispered.
She gave Drew a brief, soft thrust and lowered herself over her, taking a breast in one hand and the other into her mouth. Drew let out a growl. Nikki took her time, indulging herself with the sweet taste of each nipple before kissing every exposed part of Drew’s body she could reach. Drew squirmed and moaned in pleasure, and Nikki knew she couldn’t tease her much longer.
She came back up and placed a lingering kiss on her mouth. “Are you ready, baby?”
Drew answered with a scorching kiss. Nikki reached between them, and Drew opened to her touch, meeting each stroke as Nikki lost herself in the feel of her, her scent, her sounds, her every move. She held back her own orgasm as Drew closed around her fingers. Nikki opened her eyes just in time to see Drew throw back her head and vocalize the most wonderful sound. Drew’s angelic face shone in the thin veil of moonlight that stretched across the room. She mentally burned the image into her mind, thinking that nothing would ever rival it for as long as she lived.
Drew’s shudders finally subsided. Nikki gently settled on top of her, still inside her, and Drew’s arms came around her. Nikki slowly withdrew her fingers, missing the connection immediately.
She kissed Drew’s cheek and waited for her to open her eyes. “I’ve never experienced anything so beautiful.”
“That was amazing. You are amazing.”
“If I am, it’s because of you.” She kissed her lightly. “You do things to me, Drew. I’ve never felt like this with anyone.”
“Like what?”
“Safe. Myself. Real.” Nikki looked away, feeling exposed but in a healthy way. If that even made sense. “Like I matter.”
Drew touched her cheek. “You matter to me,” she whispered. “More than I expected.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Drew scrunched up her brows. She seemed to be considering her answer carefully. “I hope not.”
Nikki’s confidence faltered. “You still have doubts.”
“Don’t you?”
She thought for a moment. “I’d think there was something wrong with me if I didn’t.” Nikki rolled off onto her side and propped herself up on one elbow. “Not doubts about whether you matter to me. Because you do. A lot. I have doubts that I’ll be any good at relationship stuff—if that’s what this is—if that’s what you want it to be.”
“You mind if I confess something?”
Uh-oh. She didn’t like the sound of this, but she couldn’t exactly say, “Yes, I do mind,” and then be left wondering what it was she needed to confess. “Should I call the cops?” Yeah, make a joke. That’ll make things easier.
In the dim lighting, she saw Drew smile. “That won’t be necessary.”
“Phew.”
“When we first met, I was hell-bent against getting involved with you.”
No surprise there. “Yeah, that was pretty clear. It’s okay. I’m glad that’s changed.”
“It changed because I decided that as long as we kept it casual, then I was safe. We could be friends or date and have fun, and then when you left again, it would be no big deal. No strings.”
Casual. No strings. Drew didn’t want a relationship. She wanted a fling. They weren’t on the same page after all. The hurt bubbled up before she could stop it. “Did you ask me to stay because you were hoping to seduce me?”
“No!” Drew rolled onto her side and faced her. “No! God, no, Nikki. Just the opposite. Please, let me finish. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve grown to care about you, and I wasn’t prepared for any of this. I didn’t expect to…” Drew’s eyes widened as if she almost said something she’d regret.
“To what?”
“Nothing. I mean, argh, I don’t know what I’m saying, and I’m making no sense. None of this makes any sense.” Drew lowered her gaze and pursed her lips together.
Nikki grazed her fingers across her cheek. “Hey,” she said softly. “Maybe we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves. We haven’t known each other very long.”
“So, can we just play it by ear for now?”
“We’re musicians. We’re supposed to be good at playing by ear. That gives us an advantage, don’t you think?”
“Nikki, I’m not talking about improvising a guitar solo here. I’m talking about our hearts. There’s a much bigger risk involved.”
Good point. A valid point. But taking risks had never deterred her before. If anything, they made her more determined to succeed. She wasn’t about to change that now.
“Then I guess there’s only one thing to do.”
“What’s that?”
“Make that two things.” She caressed Drew’s cheek.
“Okay…”
“First, let’s play it by ear and see how it goes. I’m willing to take that risk if you are.”
“If I’m being completely honest, I think my heart’s already made the decision for me.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“Yes, it’s a yes.”
It was encouraging that Drew answered so quickly, but she gave Nikki a sideways glance.
“What’s the second thing?”
She ran her hand across Drew’s stomach. “We need to make love again. At least one or two or three more times. Maybe more. You know, make sure it’s worth the risk.”
“I like the way you think.”
Nikki peppered kisses across Drew’s neck. “I like the way I think, too.”
Drew sandwiched her face in her hands. “Know what else I like?”
“What?”
“I like the way you kiss.” Drew pulled her down for a kiss. “And I like the way you touch me.”
Nikki cupped Drew’s breast and swiped her thumb back and forth over the nipple. “I like the way you respond when I touch you.” She gave her a long, languid kiss.
Without warning, Drew flipped her over and covered her body with her own. “Not so fast, hot shot. You’ve already had your way with me once. This is a duet, not a solo. My turn.” Drew reached down between them and dragged her fingers across her labia.
Nikki’s breath hitched. Drew began a steady stroke as Nikki took her breasts into her hands and gave them the attention they deserved. Drew bent down and exhaled into her ear before kissing and sucking her neck. She quivered all over, overwhelmed by the sensations, and then Drew slipped inside her, and she cried out.
Drew moved her mouth to her areolas, alternating between licks and sucks, making them almost as wet as she was down below, pushing her into a frenzy. She was going to explode.
Drew brought her lips to hers again. “I need to taste you.” She withdrew and expertly separated her with two fingers before taking her into her mouth.
She was already so close that it didn’t take long for her to climax.
Oh yes. Definitely worth the risk.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Drew awoke with an acute awareness of Nikki’s naked body tangled with hers. Muscles she’d forgotten she had were sore from hours of lovemaking. She wasn’t surprised at how easily she’d given in to her carnal desires. It was the ease with which she’d divulged her fears—and then how eagerly she’d agreed to Nikki’s request—that had her questioning her judgment.
Had she just set them up to get hurt? In the heat of the moment, she’d said she could handle dating Nikki, but what if she couldn’t? She couldn’t predict the future any more than Nikki could.
She almost laughed out loud. If Nikki had turned out to be the person she’d assumed she was when they first met, then maybe she could have had a casual fling with her because she wouldn’t have liked her so much. How screwed up is that? Did she really think she’d rather have a couple of months of meaningless sex with someone she didn’t care for than this? Or would she rather take a chance on a relationship with a woman who was sweet, loyal, caring, sensitive, funny, and actually very down-to-earth? Not to mention an amazing lover.
Was she really willing to risk her heart for Nikki?
There was that word again. Risk.
Air. She needed air. The room seemed to have sucked it out of her, and panic flooded her body. Wasn’t everything in life a risk? What are you going to do? Lock yourself up in your room like a hermit and avoid every damn risk for the rest of your life?
