Strings Attached, page 12
Of course she didn’t mind. And if she could pry her eyes away from Nikki’s chest and slender curves for two seconds, she might curtail the drool that was threatening to spill over her bottom lip. “We have a rack over here just for customers.” She pointed to the coat tree at the end of the counter. No, that didn’t sound rude at all. Offer to take her coat and then essentially tell her to hang up the damn thing herself.
She came around the counter and took the coat from Nikki’s outstretched hand. So much for that strategy. She took extra care in making sure the coat was secure so she could keep her back to Nikki a few seconds longer. She glanced at the door, praying for another customer to come in so they wouldn’t be alone.
“Are you manning the shop by yourself today?”
“Till noon. It’s not usually busy for the first two hours, and as you know, we have a small staff.”
Nikki looked pensive for a moment, as if she was tucking the information away for future reference. “Is that safe?”
She shrugged. “I don’t have much choice. Until we can afford to hire more help, that’s how it is.”
Nikki twisted and looked out the front windows, just long enough for Drew to step a little farther away from her. It helped slightly, despite the mild waft of Nikki’s cologne that tickled her nostrils. Nikki seemed to be considering her next words carefully.
“I have a friend who works for the Portsmouth PD,” said Nikki, still gazing outside. “She’s a K-9 trainer now, but she used to be a cop. One call and I bet she could arrange a few extra patrol drive-bys on the days any of you are here alone.”
She wasn’t sure what she’d expected Nikki to say, but it wasn’t that. It was sweet. More than sweet. It was a caring gesture. Protective. Selfless.
Nikki turned to her, her expression serious. “You just say the word. I know Randi. She’d make it happen, trust me.”
Nikki was putting the ball in her court. Not taking control or disregarding her feelings on the subject. That’s what her mother would have done. She would have bragged about having powerful people wrapped around her little finger, willing to do whatever she asked at the drop of a hat. Nikki was just making the offer. It wasn’t even Nikki with the pull; it was her friend. A friend that obviously had a strong enough loyalty to Nikki that Nikki was confident in her doing her this favor.
There were more small businesses around here than she could count. She knew most of them were in the same boat, getting by on bare minimum staffing, especially during the winter months when tourism was practically nil. Unless the store offered something unique or hard to find, most people were at the malls shopping the big-name stores.
And last year, there was a serial rapist nabbing local teenagers off the streets. They finally caught the guy, but still, it had really shaken up the otherwise low-crime community. The bank DJ’s used was on the next block, so she and her dad walked their deposits there every day. They always took precautions by concealing the bag and varying the time of day, but most of the time, one of them went alone while the other watched the store. Geena also shared that responsibility when necessary.
“Okay. I suppose it can’t hurt—as long as it’s no trouble. But it’s not just me. There are a lot of us in this neighborhood working alone. If you think she can have them keep an eye on all of us, then—”
“Consider it done.”
“Thank you.” Something was different. Nikki wasn’t her usual smug self. Interesting. Should she trust it? “What’s the catch?”
Nikki’s mouth dropped open. “Catch? There’s no catch.” Nikki looked hurt. “I happen to care about this community. It’s been very supportive and instrumental to Passion Play’s success.” She walked to the coat tree and yanked off her parka. “But never mind—”
“Wait!” Drew rushed to her side. “I’m sorry. It’s just that…”
“That I’ve been a pushy jerk who kept flirting with you and wouldn’t accept no for an answer.” Nikki stabbed her arms through the sleeves. “I don’t blame you for hating me so much.”
She caught Nikki’s arm before she could step away. “I don’t hate you.” She didn’t hate Nikki. She couldn’t even dislike her anymore. She’d tried. She’d failed.
“You sure act like it sometimes,” Nikki mumbled. Her shoulders sagged, and she studied her feet. “Why is it so hard for people to believe that I might want to do something nice just for the sake of doing something nice?” She looked up. The rims of her eyes were moist. “I know I come on a little strong, but I’m working on that. I’m so sorry for disrespecting you.”
Too bad they weren’t standing in the brass horns department. Drew would’ve gladly inserted her own head into a tuba bell. “I’m sorry, too,” she said softly.
A tiny droplet escaped Nikki’s eye. Without thinking, Drew wiped it away with her thumb, resting her palm against Nikki’s cheek a little longer than necessary. Her skin was even softer than she’d imagined.
Nikki’s eyes sharpened with surprise for a nanosecond before they closed, and she leaned into the touch. A content, nearly silent exhalation followed, and Drew’s heart quickened at the sensuality of the sound. It would be so easy to kiss her right now.
Whoa.
The bells on the front door jingled, and a whoosh of arctic air parted them like teenagers caught making out in the school’s janitorial closet. Before it registered what might have happened—or what she’d wanted to happen—Nikki breezed past the customer and headed to the door.
She stopped and stared sadly at Drew’s reflection in the glass. And then, like the air that had just been sucked from her lungs, she was gone.
“Who can I see about signing up for guitar lessons?”
Drew blinked several times before it clicked that she had a customer standing in front of her. “Uh, that would be me.”
The young woman followed her to the counter. “Was that who I think it was?”
“Yes.”
But it most certainly wasn’t who Drew thought it was.
Not anymore.
***
After driving aimlessly for half an hour trying to clear her head, Nikki realized she hadn’t even turned on the heat. Drew’s touch had warmed her to the core. A few more seconds and she might have pulled Drew into her arms and kissed her.
They were damn lucky that customer walked in when she did, or Nikki could have blown everything. Her willpower was bordering on nonexistent as it was. She’d walked in determined to check her ego at the door, and as it turned out, it had taken no effort at all. The thought of Drew being there alone and any possible dangers it presented had put her into full-on protective mode. What transpired from that point on came naturally.
She turned into her garage and slumped back in the seat. Without even trying, Drew stripped her of the defenses that usually stopped her from blurting out things that exposed her vulnerabilities. Showing weakness wasn’t acceptable in her family. It meant you wouldn’t get ahead. Or promoted. Or elected.
Or in my case, loved.
She tried to get her mind off Drew, but she was like an annoying song she couldn’t get out of her head. Except there was nothing annoying about Drew. Infuriating at times, but not annoying. She respected Drew for being herself and for standing her ground. Drew didn’t give a shit that she was a rock star, and Nikki liked that about her. Even if she was kind of a shit for making assumptions that weren’t fair.
She needed to get back to her old foolproof way of dealing with her feelings. She needed her music. She muted her phone and sat down at the piano. She closed her eyes. The smooth keys beneath her fingertips felt like coming home, more so than her uninspiring surroundings. She played without knowing where that first chord would take her, and she let go. After sixteen bars in E minor, the melody shifted to its relative major, G. Ah, now that’s beautiful. Happier sounding, simultaneously bold and sweet, it would serve as a strong chorus before it moved back into the minor key for the next verse.
After an hour, she scribbled it all down and arched backward into a stretch. She was stiff, and her back cracked as she reached above her head. Her stomach growled, reminding her she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and she needed groceries again. Lyrics would have to wait.
She gobbled down a PB&J to hold her over and headed back out, not even bothering with a list. She already had enough words jumbled in her head, and none of them were making any sense yet. One encounter with Drew and the confidence she used to feel around women was shot to hell. She talked a good game, but what if she was nothing more than what she already was? She’d exceeded her career ambitions, and she’d still fallen short in her father’s eyes. She’d thought she was Jaymi’s soul mate. And look at how that turned out. No matter how many times she’d been with Randi sexually, they would’ve never amounted to more than friends. Her gut had told her Drew was attracted to her, yet whenever they saw each other, one of them got upset with the other.
As she grabbed her keys and headed to the garage, a common thread wove its way into her mind. No matter who it was she thought about, it came down to one thing: She wanted love. To give it, to receive it, to feel it, to make it, to share it.
Just like her groceries, she needed everything. How in the world did she get it all? How did she become a person someone else could love?
Unlike her groceries, she couldn’t just make a list and buy it all.
Chapter Eighteen
Drew left Melissa in Geena’s capable hands and braced herself for the cold that awaited her outside. She’d finished her hour-long orientation with her new employee, thankful for the distraction, and then couldn’t wait to get out of there. Geena beamed with the prospect of training her, as she did with every new hire. Drew needed to pick up a few things at the supermarket, which was another good excuse to leave early.
Nikki’s teary expression had torn up her heart all day. The feel of Nikki’s cheek against her palm hadn’t helped. Why did I do that?
Her mouth soured with the taste of regret. She parked her truck and fished a piece of paper from her pants pocket. She added mouthwash to her list and went inside.
She made quick work of shopping. She’d shopped here for so long that she knew exactly where everything was, and her list rarely varied. Cooking for one didn’t inspire much on the McNally menu. She suddenly had a vision of having Nikki over for dinner. Not as a date but as a friend. How would that go? Nikki hadn’t exactly left on a high note today.
She sighed as she turned down the last aisle and grabbed a tub of butter from a dairy cooler. Maybe it was for the best. Even if Nikki was a sweetheart underneath all that brassy rock star persona, how could she be sure Nikki wasn’t playing on her sympathy as a ploy to get her into bed? She rolled her cart toward the frozen desserts. I need ice cream. She plucked three pints of Ben & Jerry’s off the shelf and headed to the checkouts.
She got in line and rolled her eyes at the absurd headlines and doctored photos on the tabloids and magazines in the racks. She could understand the desire to pursue a career in the performing arts, but why anyone wanted the fame that went along with it was beyond her. Almost as disturbing was the fact that people liked reading this garbage. Who cared who was sleeping with whom? Or about the supposed affairs they were having? Or that someone gained or lost weight or was rumored to be pregnant? Who gives a shit?
The thought of people spying on them, taking pictures without their knowledge, spreading rumors about them and their loved ones, invading their privacy at every turn, passing judgment on every little thing they did, holding them to superhuman standards simply because they lived in the public eye—it was disgusting. Her mother was crazy.
Did that mean Nikki was crazy, too?
That’s when she heard a familiar voice to her left, coming from the other side of the candy rack between the lanes.
“How much are those boxed Thanksgiving meals you’re selling?” Nikki asked.
“Ten dollars each,” answered the cashier.
“And they’re donated to needy families here in Portsmouth?”
“Yes, and the surrounding community. Would you like to buy one to donate?”
Drew moved forward as her cashier finished with a customer. She strained to see around the woman in front of her, who was placing the last of her items on the belt. Nikki stepped in front of the payment pad. Even with her back turned, Drew could easily hear Nikki’s next words.
“Make it one hundred and you have a deal. Do you have that many on hand?”
The cashier’s face lit up. “If we don’t, we can get more,” the girl gushed. Drew guessed she couldn’t be more than nineteen or twenty.
“Ma’am?” Drew’s cashier was trying to get her attention. “I can ring you up now.”
Drew quietly apologized, not wanting Nikki to know she was there. She took her time emptying her carriage, curious to hear the rest of the exchange.
“That’s so generous of you,” said Nikki’s cashier. “Thank you so much, Ms. Razer! Would you mind if I called my manager over? He might like a picture of you with your donations to put on our website or something.”
“That’s kind of you, but no. I don’t want any publicity for this. In fact, promise me you’ll say it’s an anonymous gift.”
Drew’s associate was no longer paying attention to Drew’s order. She’d obviously overheard what was going on and had turned to see who was making such a large purchase. They both watched as Nikki swiped her card, said “Thank you” for the receipt, and then turned and exited the store with her groceries.
She and her cashier stared at each other.
“Wow,” said the woman. “I wish more people were that generous.”
Drew looked at her total on the screen. “Will you take back the cartons of ice cream and ring up one of those meal donations instead?”
“Sure thing.” She found the ice cream, scanned them off her total, and called over a young bagger and asked him to put them away.
“I wish I could afford to buy more of those meals like she just did.”
She smiled warmly at Drew. “If I made her money, I would, too. But every little bit helps. You’ve just made one family’s holiday much better than it might’ve been otherwise, so thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She wheeled her cart through the lot, dodging snow and ice patches as if it was an obstacle course. She retraced her steps and started over when she couldn’t remember where she’d parked. The shift taking place within her heart grew clearer with each step. That was the real Nikki Razer. Not the bold and alluring rock goddess who strutted across the stage, soaking up the idolization of thousands of women who didn’t know her at all.
Not the way I’m starting to know her. And I really like the woman I’m starting to know.
A lot.
***
Nikki pecked away at the piano keys, working out the kinks of a melody to go with the chord progression she’d written earlier in the day. Maybe Jaymi could add lyrics, since her own words kept getting jumbled with the thoughts and feelings that weren’t forming any semblance of fluent language lately.
She put the new song away. No use beating a dead horse. She needed some release. She pounded out a few random chords and then dove into Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock,” one of her favorite songs to play. She’d had a few beers, which made belting out the chorus even more fun. As fun as it could be singing it alone. In her empty house. With no one to talk to. Or cuddle on the couch with. Or to hold her as she fell asleep.
This sucks. She stopped halfway through the second verse and slammed both forearms down on the keyboard. The mishmash roar echoed and bounced off the walls for so long it finished the song for her. Fuck it. I’m going to bed.
Her phone rang. Or was she hearing things? It was coming from her coat, still splayed across the easy chair where she’d tossed it after she’d hauled in her groceries. She stumbled across the room and pulled it from the pocket.
“’Lo?”
“Um, hi. Nikki? It’s Drew.”
She couldn’t have heard that right. She looked at the screen. Sure enough, Drew’s name was on the display.
“Hello?”
“Yeah, Drew. Hi.” She plopped down on the couch and nearly slid off onto the floor. Damn leather. Yep, blame the furniture, not the beer. “Sorry, I’m just surprised to hear from you.” She gripped the arm to regain her balance and then stretched out the full length of the couch.
“Yeah, I’m sure you are.”
Nikki waited. After the way Drew had brushed her off this afternoon, she wasn’t about to make this any easier for her. Geez, Jaymi’s right. I really am an asshole when I drink. She couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to be an asshole to Drew again. “I’m glad you called,” she finally said.
“You are?”
“Yeah.” She rolled onto her back and draped one arm over her eyes. She was beyond thrilled that Drew had called, but she didn’t trust what might come next.
“So, I’ve been thinking…uh, about your offer for the police escort?”
“And?”
“Are you free to come by DJ’s tomorrow so we can talk about it?”
“So, you believe me that there’s no catch?”
Drew sighed. “Yes, Nikki, I believe you. I thought maybe you’d like to join me for lunch, so I can make up for being such an ass today?”
“Lunch?” Nikki heard a faint chuckle.
“Yes, lunch. You like Moe’s Subs?”
“Does a guitar need strings?”
“Point taken.”
She heard a smile in Drew’s voice, and the brief silence that followed was a comfortable one. She hesitated, afraid she’d say the wrong thing.
“I know where you can get a good deal on strings.”
She smiled. Is she flirting with me? “I bet you do.”
“Anything for my favorite customer.”
Definitely flirting. But why the sudden change of heart? Don’t overthink it. Let this play out and see where it goes. “So, I’m still your favorite?”
