Cold Turkey, page 12
“I know. I know I’ve given mixed messages and I want to clear that all up now. I was stressed earlier. I thought my mom was dying, and I didn’t know how to cope so I lashed out at you and it wasn’t fair. And it wasn’t how I really feel. I love you, Daniel. Have always loved you. I’m so sorry I made you feel like that wasn’t true. You mean so much to me and you deserve better than to be treated like that. I just—”
He put one single finger to my lips. “You don’t need to say anything else. I understand. Your mom was going into surgery, I understand.”
I could feel myself falling even more in love with him. I could tell that he meant it. There wasn't an angry bone in his body right now, though he completely had the right to be mad. I was a prick.
“So what does that mean about the whole me moving from New York thing?”
I’d considered this on the ride over.
“Yeah, I can’t let you do that,” I told him.
His eyes widened. But… Ethan. It’s fine. It’s what I want to do. Trust me, my life in New York means nothing to me. The only thing that means anything to me is getting to be with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Please, being with you is so much more important to me.”
“No, I mean, I can’t let you do that because I'm not going to be there anymore.” I smiled slyly.
“Are you saying… You want to move to New York?” He frowned. “Ethan, you don’t have to do that. It would be so hard for you to practice realty there. Trust me, I don’t care about leaving New York…”
“Nope, I’m not moving to New York either,” I said, enjoying dangling him a little.
“Okay…” he said hesitantly. “Then what?”
“We’re moving here,” I said proudly.
“Here as in… back to our hometown?”
“If you want to.”
He took a minute to consider this before a smile crossed his face too.
“We’d be right here, right next to our family.”
“That’s my thought process,” I admitted. “I feel like I just realized today how short life can be. I don’t want to spend any more time apart from them. Or any time apart from you…”
“I love it!” he said excitedly.
“Really?” I asked happily. I was hoping so badly that he would be on board with this plan.
“Absolutely! But are you sure you can uproot your whole realty business?”
“Absolutely!” I had thought about this too. “I know everyone here. I have so many connections, there is no way I’ll have issues building my clientele back up.”
“So… We’ll both move then?” he asked.
“We’ll both move,” I said decidedly.
“And we’re just going… to be together?”
“Yep.” I smiled. “If that’s okay with you.”
He grinned, leaned in, and kissed me.
“As long as you promise me one thing,” he responded.
“Okay, what is it?”
“That in the future, our love will conquer any obstacle in our lives. That you will never push me away again. That me and you will stand the test of time.”
I grabbed his hand, stroking it softly.
“I swear, the test of time.”
Epilogue
Daniel
“Daddy!” I heard Cassie call from her bedroom. “Daddy, I have no socks!”
“Yes you do!” I called back. “They’re in the dryer. Papa is in there, go have him grab them for you.”
“Okay!” she said perkily as she headed toward the laundry room where Ethan was changing.
That was how we distinguished each other in the house. I was Dad, he was Papa. Having a two father household was a little confusing that way, so this made it easier on us all.
Cassie was turning four next week. We were heading over to Ethan’s mom’s house. She thought we were just going to come talk about the party with her; she loved to be very involved with planning every birthday party.
But this visit was so much more than that.
“Come on, the both of you!” I called out into the hall. “We’re running late! Grandma has things to do today, we can’t be late!”
This was true; she had an appointment in two hours with her doctor. Just a routine appointment, as she’d been doing really well lately. But with a doctor’s appointment today, it wasn’t the most convenient time to talk about party planning, which she told us and offered to meet us tomorrow instead.
But this news couldn’t wait. And she’d be happy we didn't wait too.
Ethan and Cassie came bolting down the hall, Ethan still buttoning his shirt. I opened the front door and motioned at them to go through it. We all headed to the car.
“You’ve got the paper, right?” I asked Ethan.
“In my pocket, don’t worry,” he assured me.
His father was supposed to be there too. He was home all the time now, now that he was retired. The both of them were, which was nice. It meant we got to see them a lot and so did Cassie.
As amazing of a mother as Ethan’s mom was, she arguably was an even better Grandma. She was so involved with Cassie. From the day we confirmed the adoption, she was thrilled for us. She was supportive as she always had been through every step of our relationship. From when we started dating, to the day Ethan proposed, to our wedding day. She was there for all of it.
My parents, on the other hand, not so much. They hadn't so much as met Cassie. I would be tempted to say this was because they were shitty people and Cassie wasn't their flesh and blood so they couldn't care less. But, then again, even if Cassie was my biological daughter, I didn’t think they’d care. They didn’t care about their biological son, after all.
But whatever, it didn’t mater. Because Ethan's family was so good, it made up for all the bullshit we got from my parents.
We lived only a few minutes away from Ethan’s parents, so the car ride was nothing. We got there real quick, though, and after I parked I stayed seated in the car for a moment, trying to prepare myself for what came next.
“Daddy, we need to go into Grandma’s!” Cassie said impatiently.
“I know, I know, we’re going.” I looked over at Cassie and then smiled at Ethan.
These two were the most important people in my life. I’d be the first to admit that the day we got together, that Thanksgiving so many years ago, I was worried about our future. I wasn't so sure if we’d last. I mean, on the very first day we got together he pretty much told me he didn’t want to be with me.
But that ended up being a weird, one time traumatic experience. Because ever since that day, Ethan’d been the most devoted spouse a person could ask for. He was a great husband and a dedicated father, and he never stopped sacrificing for me and Cassie.
I got out of the car and Ethan got Cassie out of her car seat. She then sprinted to the door.
“Hey, don’t run!” Ethan called out, worried about the stairs that led up to his parent’s house. But of course, she didn’t slow down. Which was no surprise. She might have loved Grandma even more than she loved us.
I put my arm around Ethan as we walked up to the house. “Are you ready for this?”
He took a deep breath in. “Yeah, I think so.”
I nodded and we walked inside. His mom already had the door open for Cassie.
When we walked in, Cassie was already sitting at her kitchen table, play doh in hand.
“Play doh, Mom?” Ethan asked. “Where did that come from?”
“Oh, I picked some up yesterday. I figured if we were doing birthday party planning, we’d need something to distract her or she’d get too bored.”
Like I said, she was super Grandma.
“Uh, Mom,” Ethan began, a grin on his face. “We’re not actually here for party planning.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You’re not?”
He shook his head and pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her.
Hesitantly, she took it from him and then slowly opened it. When she saw what it said inside, her jaw dropped.
“What… What are these?” she gasped.
“Adoption papers,” I answered. “Adoption papers for our new baby boy.”
Her eyes started welling up with tears.
“I’m… I'm going to have another grandchild?” she asked excitedly.
“Yeah, you are,” Ethan answered.
In one swift movement, she grabbed both of us and pulled us in for a deep hug.
“Oh, I’m so happy! You guys!”
Butterflies filled my stomach the same way they did when we found out we’d be adopting another child. Everything felt so good.
I had an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, another on the way, and in-laws that I adored. Did life even get better than this?
I already knew the answer… No, no it didn’t. This was all that mattered in life. Loving someone and having someone that loved you. Even more, having a love that could survive the worst in life and still make it on the other side. And we had.
So far, we really had passed the test of time.
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READ ON FOR A FREE EXCERPT FROM MY MM ROMANCE NOVEL “BAKED IN LOVE”
FREE Excerpt from Baked in Love
Baked in Love
13
Miles
Miles
“Hello?” I called out into my apartment as I opened the door, trying to figure out if my fiancé was home.
It didn’t seem like she was, which was weird because she was usually off work by now. A sense of relief washed over me. I loved when I had the apartment to myself.
All right, that sounded bad. It wasn’t that I hated my fiancée or anything. It was just that we spent a lot of time together and I didn’t get a lot of time to myself. Plus, we had definitely fallen into a routine with one another at this point and we mostly sat around and watched TV when she was here.
I collapsed on the couch, preparing myself to play some video games and grab a beer from the fridge when I heard her voice.
“Miles? Is that you?”
Disappointment rushed over me. Damnit, she was home.
She walked down the hallway, coming from our bedroom.
“Hey, Chelsea,” I said softly.
She was putting on a jacket as she came into the living room.
“Babe, I’m so glad you’re here! Do you want to go to the bakery with me?”
“Uh, well, not really,” I admitted. “What are you doing to the bakery for?”
“To taste test for our wedding cake, of course.”
Oh, right, I forgot that was a thing.
I really didn’t like doing any of this wedding stuff. I simply couldn’t bring myself to care much about it. Though that was normal among men, right? It was the girls that got all stoked on the wedding. I was sure it was normal that I was less than thrilled.
“Babe, come on, you haven’t done any wedding planning with me at all. Wasn’t this whole thing your idea?”
If by that she meant I was the one who proposed then, yes, of course it was. But that didn’t mean I was stoked to get married or anything.
Me and Chelsea had been together since we were in high school. She was my first girlfriend ever. We were both in our mid-twenties now and I knew it was time to propose. That was what any decent man would do. You were an asshole if you strung a woman along for a decade and then didn’t marry her. It was the right thing to do, and I was the kind of man who always chose to do the right thing if at all possible.
But, no, just because I was willing to do the right thing didn’t mean I was excited to do it. It was a sacrifice I had to make for the sake of my morals. And I was willing to make it.
Besides, we’d already been together a decade. I didn’t imagine we were ever going to break up.
“I don’t have that much interest in the wedding planning, that’s all,” I told her. I knew she wouldn’t take too kindly to me telling her I proposed out of moral obligation.
“As a favor to me, please? I’m not asking you to look at dresses. Come eat some cake, is that really that torturous?”
I sighed. “I guess not.”
“Fantastic, thank you.”
“No problem,” I mumbled.
So much for a night to myself.
I grabbed the keys to my car and stood up to leave with her. This was the last thing I wanted to do after a long day at work, but I didn’t see how I had much of a choice. It was clearly very important to her.
So this would be a small sacrifice on my part. And, if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t make many sacrifices for her lately.
Like I said, I cared deeply for Chelsea. She’d been my closest friend since high school and was a huge part of my life. But lately, it felt like we were in a rut of routine. We did the same thing every day. We ate dinner in silence. We watched television before bed. Things felt a little… disconnected.
I knew we hadn’t been the fairytale romance she wished we were. But, frankly, we’d never had a romance like that anyway. Even in high school, we didn’t exactly have a relationship full of passion.
It was Chelsea that went after me when we were fourteen years old. She had a crush and she told me so. I wasn’t all that interested in her, but a few of my guy friends encouraged me to go for it. I’d never had a girlfriend before, never so much as kissed a girl on the cheek. I was a late bloomer. My friends were trying to get me to move forward from that.
And because I gave in to peer pressure, I agreed to go out with her. There weren’t a lot of sparks and I didn’t even really know how to treat a girlfriend back then. She took the lead on that front and planned all of our dates. It was Chelsea that pushed forward the romance. Eventually, I reached a level of comfort with her and it became easier to be with her.
It pretty much stayed that way throughout our relationship. She never got big, corny gestures of romance from me. I never declared my undying passion for her. I was just in this with her; I was a life partner.
It wasn’t glamorous, but that was life, right? Life wasn’t some extravagant romance movie. When you were in a relationship with someone, you were in it because they were your partner in life. You chose to be with someone when you were comfortable enough with them to build a life together.
So that was pretty much what I was doing. I was building a life with Chelsea. I’d been with her long enough, she was a good girl, and she deserved the commitment from me. So I hid my hesitance to the best of my ability and was trying to give her all that I could.
It wasn’t always easy. Sometimes I felt downright terrified to get married. What would come next? We bought our first house? We tried for kids? We got started on the rest of our lives?
It was daunting, to say the least. But I stuffed down my fears for the sake of keeping Chelsea happy. She really was a good girl, and she deserved to be happy.
I drove us to the bakery. There was only one in our small town so I didn’t need directions. I’d never actually been there before, though. They were an expensive little shop that made a lot of custom specialty items. I’d never had a need for any custom baked goods.
Our ride there was silent for the first five minutes, which didn’t surprise me at all. Most of our time together was spent quietly lately. I didn’t mind.
But apparently Chelsea did, because after about five minutes, she tried to break the silence.
“So, how was your day?” she asked.
“Fine,” I answered shortly.
“Did anything interesting happen at work?”
“Of course not,” I answered. “I made a lot of sales calls and did a lot of paperwork, as always.”
“Oh,” she said, seeming a little defeated. “Okay then.”
I probably should have returned the question by asking her about her work but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn't want to start up any more awkward conversation. I was honestly enjoying the quiet. And I knew as soon as we got to this bakery I was going to be bombarded by wedding talk.
At least when we arrived and walked in, I was hit with the sweet smell of cake. I did have a bit of a sweet tooth so this probably wouldn’t be that bad.
It was a cute little ;shop, it had a very retro look. The floor was made of black and white tiles, and the walls were painted a bright teal color. There was a bell that hung on the door to signal a customer walking in.
The bell, at least, didn't seem like it was for decoration. Because when we walked in, there was nobody at the counter. Though we quickly heard somebody yell from the back of the shop.
“I’ll be right out!”
Before he came, Chelsea whispered to me. “I know you don’t like any of this wedding stuff, but I really think this will be fun.” She smiled softly.
“Yeah, hopefully it will.”
A man in a traditional baker’s uniform came out from behind the counter, drying his hands off with a towel.
“Sorry about the wait.” He smiled. “You must be Chelsea and Miles?”
“Yes, so nice to meet you.” Chelsea extended her hand.
I smiled and did the same.
He seemed like a friendly enough guy, though besides the uniform he didn’t look much like a baker. He had more of a lumberjack look to him. A lot of scruffy facial hair, dark curly brown hair, a very masculine face. Objectively, he was not a bad looking guy.
I felt a little less manly standing next to him, though. Which was weird because I wasn’t scrawny by any stretch of the imagination. I spent a fair amount of time at the gym and prided myself on being in shape. But he was far bulkier than me.
“So, I’ve already got a few sample flavors on a platter for you, let me just grab it and I’ll grab my photo album of past cakes and we can get started.”
“Sounds good.” Chelsea grinned.
All right, the cake samples I could get behind, the photo album not so much.
We sat down at a little white table off to the side of the shop and waited while he came back with a large book and an even larger sample platter of cakes.
