Escaping Parker, page 11
Once she is close enough he holds up the bottle close to her nose, and she latches on immediately.
“Just hold it up, like this,” he explains.
I look back at Rig and he gives me a nod. She struggles against me and I have to hold on tightly. The lamb makes little grunting noises, and I just want to take her back to the house with us. I’d never stop smiling.
When she’s finished with her feeding, I hand the bottle back to the man. “Thank you. That was so much fun.”
“Of course. She wasn’t born that long ago, just about two months old now.”
“How are you feeling now?” Rig asks. I’m so wrapped up with that little animal that I almost forget he’s there.
“I’m getting there,” I say as we wander aimlessly around the property, ending up back at the lake.
Feeling hot and just plain tired, I look at the lake, and then back at Rig. I just go with it, and run into the water.
The second the cool water hits my skin, I feel weightless. I’m floating around, nothing in my way, recognizing that it’s going to take me some time. After everything I’ve been through, I have nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s ok to have off days as long as the good days overshadow the bad. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I take in my current surroundings, letting them wash over me—bringing in the good and taking out the bad with each ripple of the water. I know this is the beginning of a new life I deserve. I look over to Rig, who stands there watching me splash around, and the smile on his face does so much to calm the craziness in my head.
“Are you coming in?” I yell out to him.
“I’m enjoying watching you.”
“Well, I’d smile more if you came in. It’s really nice in here,” I urge.
He stands at the edge and yells, “Cannon ball.” Water splashes in my face and waves slosh around me.
“See, doesn’t it feel better in here?” I say, keeping myself floating in place.
“It does. Want to race?” he asks, pointing to the middle of the lake.
“Sure, go!” I take off swimming as fast as I can to get a head start.
Once I get to the middle I turn around, seeing he isn’t far behind me. If I wasn’t so sure of my swimming abilities, I would say he is letting me win.
“I win!” I yell out, as he makes his way back to where I am.
“I think you cheated. I wasn’t ready,” he protests.
“Stop being a sore loser, you know I won.” I send a spray of water in his face. “Thank you for getting my mind off of things today.”
“I’m glad I could help. Just happy you’re feeling better.” He swims closer to me, and it suddenly gets thick between us.
He pushes a piece of my hair back from my face, intently looking into my eyes. The hold is strong I can’t look away. Without warning, his lips find their way to mine. He kisses me softly and butterflies take flight in my stomach. For the first time, I don’t see conflict in his eyes. I see him, doing something he wants to do without making excuses.
He grabs my hands underwater, pulling me close to him. Linking my fingers around his waist, I feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly against mine. He kicks his feet below us to keep us afloat. I move my arms to his neck, holding on, and I kiss him passionately—the way I do in my dreams. I don’t ever want to wake up. Breaking the kiss, I’m nervous to look him in the eyes and see regret etched in them. So I close my eyes and savor the moment.
“Parker, look at me.” I do what he asks. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.”
I get a little self-conscious, making it hard to look at him.
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve been hurt enough, and I can’t promise anything to you. It’s been hell trying to fight these feeling, trying to make them go away when they are everything I think of. I want to protect you. I want to help you get back what that asshole stole from you. I just don’t know if I can do it, and not break your heart when this is all over. I will eventually leave, and I don’t want to give you some false hope that I will stay,” he explains.
“Why do we even have to think about that right now?”
“Because I don’t ever want to mislead you. I’m just trying to be honest with you. This is very hard for me, and I’m breaking one of my own rules here. I can’t stand pushing you away every time we get close, and I can’t do it anymore.”
“I don’t know what to say.” For the first time with him, I’m speechless. I don’t have some witty comeback, or some long talk on how I’m right and he’s wrong.
“Just tell me you understand, and you aren’t expecting some grand gesture from me later on, or I can stop this now. Your choice,” he says, and all I can do is agree because I don’t want to lose this between us.
“Ok. I understand what you are saying.” I open up myself to a world of hurt, but this time it’s my decision. This isn’t Steven, and this isn’t something I will learn later on, wondering what I did wrong for years.
I just hope after some time, if things are going well, there will be some way to convince him he deserves to live a life himself, instead of just giving everyone back theirs. I know it’s a long shot, but hopefully in the end, it’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.
“Let’s go get dried off and eat something now that you are feeling better.”
After dinner, Rig runs into town to pick something up while I clean the kitchen. When he returns, he sits next to me on the couch, holding a plastic bag. He gives me a sly grin. “So, I know this doesn’t make everything ok, but I thought maybe if we celebrated your mom’s birthday here, it would make it easier,” he says, pulling out two cupcakes from the bag.
I can’t believe he did this. It’s the most thoughtful thing to do, and it doesn’t even make me sad. Closing my eyes, I pretend I’m back with my family, singing to my mom, waiting for her to blow out the candles like previous years.
“Thank you, this was very sweet of you to do.” I get a little emotional as I take a bite of the soft cake. I can’t hide the tear that rolls down my cheek. He quickly wipes it away with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, was this too much?”
“Not at all, I’m ok. Excuse me for a minute,” I say, making my way to my room.
Today has been a whirlwind of emotions, all running high at the same time. I just need to gather my feelings for a second, and remind myself to be thankful for what everyone is doing for me. A soft knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts, and I wipe away the tears quickly, hiding my mini pity party.
“Hey, I just wanted to change into some sweats for bed. I’m beat after this morning,” I answer, pulling a pair out of my bag.
“Well, I figured we could maybe watch another movie before we turn in.”
“Ok, I’ll be out in a second.”
My new attire is way more comfortable and I drop back onto the couch. Rig has already chosen some action movie, one I wouldn’t pick myself, but as long as I’m spending time with him, I don’t care what we watch. Not too long after starting the movie, I scoot closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me, and I try to stay awake as long as possible. The comfort of his body against mine makes me feel so at peace that I drift asleep.
After Rig tells me we are going out to dinner tonight, just the two of us, I practically burst out of my skin. It means a lot to me, not only because he’s trying hard to give me something he thinks he’s incapable of giving, but because it’s the second time we are going out after the first attempt failed. He must not think I would do something as stupid again.
We still have a couple hours before we go, so I take some time to myself and hang out by the lake. Not knowing when we are leaving here makes me want to absorb my surroundings, and savor every last bit of this beautiful place. Rig’s out doing some errands, and I’m definitely on heightened alert. It’s been made clear that the grounds are being watched by the family living here and a security staff for their large property. I don’t know who this family is, but from what Rig has told me, they are very well known in the area and have had some issues with people trying to take advantage of their generous nature. It makes me question why we are here exactly. Why would he put us in a place that previously had some issues? Maybe it’s all about hiding in plain sight; either way it makes me feel a little uneasy.
The huge willow provides the perfect shade for my reading. I glance up from my book when something glints in the distance. Nerves rattle me, and I’m not sure what or who it is.
I slowly get up, trying to get a better look while I’m hiding behind the tall grass. I shift for a better angle, but I can’t see anything. Hands grab my shoulders from behind me and I scream, the kind of shriek that knocks your fillings out.
“It’s me,” Rig says, turning my body around.
“You scared the shit out of me!” I glare at him. “Wait . . . were you just over there?” I point over to where I thought I saw something.
“No, I just got back and came from the house. Why?”
“I swear I saw someone creeping around, and it kinda freaked me out.”
He pulls his phone from his pocket and dials. “Hey, Parker thinks she saw someone on the property, over by east end. I’m heading over there to check it out. Can you send someone to the lake where she is?” Rig ends the call, narrowing his eyes at me. “Stay here. Someone is coming to be with you. I’m going over there to check things out.”
I nod As Rig walks away, he slips a gun from his waistband, the same gun from the glove box. My breaths become labored, nervously waiting for some big gun battle.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Finally Rig comes walking back, gun safely tucked away from sight. He finds me exactly where he told me to stay, holding up his index finger while he talks to the security guard watching over me. Once he’s back, he gives me a hug and my heart can leave my throat.
“So, things are okay, nobody that isn’t supposed to be here is here. You probably just saw someone doing the rounds,” he says.
Relief floods me. It’s a little too close to my worst nightmare for my taste. “I didn’t know. Sorry to cause such a big stink. Crap, I feel like such an idiot.”
“Don’t. You did exactly what you needed to do. Everything is fine, so let’s head back to the house and get ready to grab dinner.” He takes ahold of my hand, and we walk back to the house together.
Hand holding, dinner out. Things are going so perfectly that I start to question myself. Is this all to make me feel like I’m being protected? Am I mixing up all these needy feelings of mine and giving myself false hope?
I was at such a low point in my life, where times I had considered giving up ever breaking free. Then Rig comes along, like a white knight, making my dead, broken heart beat again and come back to life. I can’t get my hopes up, only to fall flat on my face when it’s time to leave each other.
My hand fits so perfectly inside of his, and when he touches me, even if it’s completely innocent, it sets my soul at ease. These should be huge red flags going up, letting me know I’m getting too involved. But I just can’t see it that way right now. Maybe I’m blinded by the infatuation, or I’m grabbing on to anything, and he happens to be the one around. I don’t want to make another huge mistake in my life that will leave me grasping for life again.
“You’re so quiet today,” Rig says.
“A little tired, nothing really. Just have a lot on my mind.” I don’t want the conversation to turn heavy or ruin the day.
“Ok, well don’t worry. There was nobody here. You’re safe. So go get ready and we can head out soon.”
On my bed, Rig has laid out new clothes for me. I smile, realizing this is where he went earlier. It’s really nothing fancy at all: a white maxi skirt with a matching top—something cool to wear instead of jeans in this heat. It’s more of the thought that counts with this gesture.
I get ready and suddenly feel shy. It’s not like the jeans or the plain T-shirt. This is different. I walk with my head down, hoping I look like he imagined when he picked it out for me. I’m so used to being covered up to hide the bruises, I feel exposed
Rig stands there, mouth open like he just saw something surprising. He moves closer to me, sending trickles of electricity through me.
“Wow, you look beautiful.” His eyes roam my body. ”Please excuse my lack of words right now. Just . . . wow.”
I don’t know whether to cover up, or let myself reel in this moment. The intimacy feels so foreign. A deep breath calms me.
“Thank you. You don’t look too shabby yourself.” I fumble over my words.
I’m so accustomed to his everyday black or navy blue plain T-shirt. But now he has on this striking blue button up short-sleeve shirt, showing me he is really trying and making an effort. This will be a normal night out. Almost like a date. The word date makes my head spin, and I’m not sure how I feel about that word so soon. It feels right inside, but I’m still not sure this is the right thing to be doing.
“Let’s head out. I found this great little cantina that has local bands playing there. I thought it would be a fun place to go, and something not so . . .”
“Serious.” I finish his sentence.
He nods once and holds out his arm for me to loop mine through. When we reach the car, he opens the door for me, something he has never done, but even just the small gesture makes me smile.
Before I know it, we’re pulling up to the restaurant. Live music thunders even out in the parking lot. People file in and out of the place, and I start to get excited. It’s been forever since I have been out, especially with such good company.
We sit silently in the booth. I hate that the nerves have gotten to both of us. I don’t want to make this more than it is, and I’m sure he’s still preoccupied with keeping me safe.
I finally get sick of pretending I’m interested in the music and break the silence. “So, have you decided what you’re going to get?” I skim the menu. “I think I’m going with the chicken nachos.”
“Yeah, I think I know what I want.” He gazes over the top of the menu and locks eyes with me. I’m not sure if he means the food, but I get the feeling we aren’t.
“Oh-kay.”
“So tell me . . . how horrible has this trip been so far for you?”
“It’s been a rollercoaster, to be honest. Some days I wake up feeling like I can do anything, and like there is an end to this that I can almost reach. Other days, I feel defeated, alone, and ready to give up. Just let him come and find me so I can stop this running.”
His head juts back. “Why would you want that?”
“Because I want this to end.” I groan. “Being told that this will be a long process and actually living it are two different things. I want to settle and live without constantly looking over my shoulder. Even though I’m having a really nice time tonight, I still catch myself scanning the crowd, scared that at any moment Steven is going to jump out at me, and win.” I place my hand on the table.
“Keeping you safe is my job, so you shouldn’t worry about him getting to you. I wouldn’t have taken you out if I thought for one second you were being watched or in danger.”
“I know that. It’s just something I have done for the past couple years. Everywhere I went, I was constantly being watched or followed, and I can’t turn it off.”
Our waiter delivers our food, giving us a much needed break from this heavy topic.
“How is your food?” I ask, eyeing his plate.
“It’s good, want to try some?” He holds out a forkful of his chicken enchilada.
“Sure.” I take a bite. “That is good.”
After dinner, we walk through the growing crowd and place ourselves next to the stage, enjoying the music. My body sways to the beat, and he stands behind me, placing his hands on my hips, moving with me. It’s innocent, until he moves his hand up my back and drags a finger down my arm, setting everything he touches on fire.
The warmth of his touch and the heat of crowd is too much, with all these unknown people around, I still have the fear I’m being watched by someone. I finally have to say, “I’m so hot. Ok if we leave now?”
His brows pull together. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Alright, let’s go,” he says and we make our way out.
Pulling up to the house, I get a second wind. I jump out of the car and yell “Last one to the lake is a rotten egg!” in my most mature voice, while running and giggling the whole way there.
Rig’s shoes crunch through the grass and leaves behind me. As I get closer, I take off my shirt and skirt, tossing them to the side. I jump in and start splashing around.
“I won!” I laugh.
Rig jumps in right behind me, playing along, keeping the fun night alive. Swimming up beside me, he grabs my waist, and I wrap my arms around his neck.
“Thank you for tonight. I had a nice time being out.”
“I had fun too. No need to thank me. I should be thanking you for dealing with me,” he says so seriously.
My words are nonexistent, wanting to keep it light and fun. For the first time, his insecurities come to the surface, something he keeps in the dark. I’m not sure if he realizes I see him clearly, but the illuminating moonlight is giving me a tiny glimpse into his buried secret.
In a flash, his lips are on mine and my body tingles from head to toe. His hands explore every inch of my body, heightening a need so strong, and I wrap my legs around him, never breaking this passion-fueled kiss.
His hands go under the back of my underwear, pulling me closer to him. His growing hardness presses against me, and it’s turning me on. Without breaking the kiss, he carries me to a blanket he must’ve grabbed from the trunk. He moves on top of me, gently laying me down, and kissing my lips again. His mouth travels down my neck, kissing along my collarbone. Rig continues the trail of kisses down my chest until reaches my stomach, making me hold my breath in anticipation. He drags his finger over the thin piece of fabric covering my most private parts. I gasp and a satisfied smile creeps across his face. He does it again, this time with a little more pressure, watching my face intently. A moan escapes my lips. He curses under his breath and roughly pushes my underwear to one side, exposing me. Loving that my past doesn’t make him hesitant to doing exactly what he wants, he watches me closely and makes sure he isn’t spooking me in any way.
