Never Stopped Loving You, page 7
“It’s 7 a.m.” He raised an eyebrow, confused. Where on earth could she be so early in the morning, he thought to himself.
“She’s in the studio,” she explained. Her sister was an artist and a talented one at that, though she rarely showed anyone her work.
She pulled out a chair for him and leaned against the fridge, watching him take a seat.
“I didn’t know she still painted.”
“She’ll never stop painting. Watching mom go through all this and all the emotions that have come along with it have really inspired her paintings. It’s her darkest work yet but it’s really powerful stuff.” Her sister had turned all of her pain and worry into dark and mysterious works that felt like a window into her mind. Though Elizabeth hated that her sister was going through such pain because of their mother’s disease, she was glad that she had something to channel that pain into and proud of her sister’s talent.
“I asked her during one of your mother’s appointments what she was doing these days but she didn’t seem to want to answer me.”
“Well, she can be stubborn,” Elizabeth admitted as she took another sip of her coffee.
“I’ve noticed.” He sighed, resigned to the fact that Kate’s forgiveness was going to be much harder than Elizabeth’s.
“She teaches art classes at the Community College. She even got her own small studio space. She really loves working with the students while still being able to focus on her own work.” Elizabeth wondered if she should really be sharing all that with him. Kate, she knew, wouldn’t be pleased about it. But once she started talking to Nathan again, she simply couldn’t bring herself to see him as a stranger.
“I’m glad she’s happy. She’s always been so creative.”
“Yes, she’s one of a kind.” Elizabeth beamed. Her sister was a great source of pride for her.
“And she hates me,” Nathan pointed out, not even sure where to begin to fix it.
“I’d like to tell you that she’ll come around, but that’s not a promise that I can make.” Elizabeth didn’t like the thought of her sister holding such resentment because she wanted Kate to be at peace with the past too.
“I understand that. I don’t blame her.” Nathan knew that it was his fault that Kate couldn’t stand him.
“I’m sorry that she’s rude to you sometimes,” Elizabeth interrupted his thoughts.
“To be fair, she was rude to me even when she liked me.” He smirked. She had done all she could when she was a teenager to be the bratty little sister he never had. She had always teased him and played pranks on him and Nathan had loved every minute of it.
“That’s true. I forgot what a brat she was when she was in her teens.” Elizabeth chuckled.
“She’s the closest thing to a sibling I’ve ever had,” he said, his expression thoughtful as he remembered the feeling of a love like that. For the first time, it was truly dawning on him just how much love he had lost when he decided not to marry Elizabeth.
“What about William? You guys have been best friends since college.” Elizabeth waited to see how he would react to hearing her speak about his estranged friend.
“He’s not the person I thought he was,” Nathan said as his expression changed.
“Yes, he is. He’s the same guy he has always been. You know that,” she told him gently. She wasn’t sure what had come between them, but she knew that it needed to be fixed if either man was going to be happy.
“He was supposed to be there for me, no matter what,” he explained, unwilling to say more.
“I’d be shocked if he did anything to hurt you.”
“It isn’t something that I can talk about with you. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to know the details. You’re both my friends and I don’t want to be in the middle.” She needed him to know that it was genuine concern and not curiosity that kept her from letting it go.
“Good.” He wrongly assumed that she would change the subject.
“But I suggest you fix it,” she continued, undeterred by the spark of anger in his eyes.
“Why do you assume I’m the one who should fix it?” he demanded, suddenly looking hurt and angry.
“I’d say the same thing to him. In fact, I probably will tonight when he stops by to see mom.” She hoped that he would see that she wasn’t taking sides. She knew that they had probably both said things they should apologize for. It had always been that way when Nathan and William fought.
“He’s coming by tonight?” Nathan asked with an involuntary frown.
“That’s what he told me when he left yesterday. He’s been such a great support system for all of us. I don’t know what we would do without him.” Elizabeth hated to admit that she needed anyone to lean on. She would never have asked William for his support, but she didn’t have to. Instead, he just kept showing up and she was so grateful for it.
“Then I’m glad he’s been around so much,” Nathan said, shocked by the impact that her words had on him. He realized for the first time that he had no right to be angry with William if what he was doing was helping Elizabeth in any way. Clearly, she was benefiting from his presence in her life, no matter how much it bothered Nathan. It was those thoughts that filled his mind as he and Elizabeth shared a few more moments of polite conversation before he left to head to work. It was difficult to admit, but it was clear that he owed William an apology.
Chapter 13
After joining Elizabeth and her family for an early dinner, William had thoroughly enjoyed sitting with the women and listening to them share stories from their past. It had always calmed him to be around them all since he had first met Elizabeth in college. Her family just exuded the kind of love that made him feel at home.
When he noticed Diane growing tired, though, he knew that it was time for him to leave. After an extended round of goodbyes and his solemn promise to come for dinner again the following week, he walked out into the darkness. He reached his car, shocked to see Nathan leaning against it.
“William,” his friend said, his expression making it clear that this was the last place he really wanted to be. Nathan hated the thought of having to apologize to William, but after talking to Elizabeth he knew that it was what he needed to do.
“What are you doing skulking in the dark like a stalker?”
“I needed to talk to you.”
“And it couldn’t be done over the phone?” William didn’t want to fight again, especially in front of Elizabeth’s house. It was a small neighborhood and he knew that everyone would hear them if they started yelling at each other.
“No, I needed to face you to say this,” Nathan explained, trying to gather the strength and humility to offer the necessary apology.
“So you stalked out Liz’s house and waited for me?”
It was not like Nathan to do such a thing. He liked to handle things in a more civilized way. Lurking in the dark was not his usual move. But Elizabeth’s reappearance in his life had obviously shaken his world to the core.
“She told me earlier that you would be here tonight.”
“Ah, so you’ve been visiting her.” Though William was angry with his friend, he knew in his heart that the best thing for him and Elizabeth was to find some sort of common ground. She was going to need all the emotional support that she could get as she helped her mother and Nathan had always been the person who was best at understanding her.
“We’re friends,” Nathan said, the words feeling foreign in his mouth.
“Really?” William’s eyebrows shot up. He was curious how that had come about since their last conversation.
“Okay, I want us to be friends and she agreed to try.” Nathan allowed his vulnerability to show to his oldest friend.
“She’s always been forgiving.”
“That she is,” Nathan agreed, her smiling face suddenly flashing in his mind.
“Why do you want to be her friend?”
“I’ve missed her.” There was something about standing there in the darkness with William that made it easier to share his true feelings.
“We all have.”
“It’s hard not to.”
“Why are you here?” William’s confrontational tone was replaced by one of curiosity.
“I needed to apologize to you,” Nathan said with a reluctant sigh.
“You really came here just to apologize to me?” William stammered.
“I was afraid that if I didn’t come here tonight I’d take the extra time to convince myself that I was right and that I didn’t really owe you an apology.”
“What made you decide that you should apologize in the first place?”
“Liz told me how much having you around has meant to all of them.”
“I just want to help.”
“I get that.”
“I’m glad.”
“You were right.” Nathan’s eyes shifted from William to Elizabeth’s house behind him.
“I usually am.” William smirked.
“Don’t get cocky.”
“That’s pretty much my default setting, buddy.”
The atmosphere between them relaxed as both of them chuckled.
“I guess I should know that already.” Nathan was relieved to be able to speak to William like nothing had happened.
“You were saying something about me being right…”
“Yes.” Nathan wished that was all he had to say but he knew William well enough to know that he would want a full apology.
“Go on.” William grinned at him like the cat that got into the cream.
“You were right when you said that she needs emotional support. They all do.”
“And so you came here to give it to her.”
“I came here to check on her. When she told me how much she appreciated your help, I realized you were right. I need to be there for her as more than just her mother’s doctor.”
“Because you love her.” William’s words were not a question. He stated them as a fact because he had no doubt that his friend had never stopped loving Elizabeth.
“Because she’s my friend,” Nathan answered defensively. Admitting his love for Elizabeth to William was not something he could do because he had not yet faced it himself.
“How can you not love her? You who’ve been lucky enough to know what it feels like to have her love you back.”
“You really do love her, don’t you?” Nathan realized for the first time that what William felt might be more than just an attraction to Elizabeth’s lovely face.
“I don’t think anyone could know her and not love her. I think I’ve loved her since the first time I saw her,” William admitted, tired of holding it inside. He remembered the warmth radiating off of her as she took a seat next to him in their freshman biology class. “I would have asked her out on the spot if she hadn’t been so quick to mention her boyfriend Nathan.”
Nathan swallowed hard. This incredible woman had chosen him and her biggest dream had been to stay with him forever. And what did he do? He ruined everything. Overwhelmed by the realization that he had never truly deserved her love, he felt his chin tremble.
“I’m sorry I said such harsh things to you about it.” Nathan knew what it felt to hold such feelings at bay.
“I don’t blame you for feeling jealous. I’ve never acted on my feelings, though. I need you to know that.”
“It’s not jealousy that I feel.”
“Really?” William didn’t ask so that Nathan would tell him. He already knew the truth. It was Nathan who needed to realize why he had reacted as he did.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to call the emotions I felt.” Nathan ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“You really need to face what you’re feeling before it’s too late for you both.” Though William did love Elizabeth, he loved her enough to know that her heart had always belonged to Nathan.
“It’s already too late,” Nathan whispered, a sudden shiver running through him at the thought that he had lost her.
“I doubt that.” William knew from Elizabeth’s reaction to Nathan that her feelings for him were not something she had left in the past, no matter how much she wanted to believe she had.
“I just hope we can be friends,” Nathan tried to convince his friend and himself. “Do you think she plans to stay here for good this time?”
“She’s not going to stay.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“There are two outcomes to all of this and they both end in her leaving.”
“What are those?”
“Her mom gets better and she goes back to her travels or her mom passes away. If Diane does die, Liz will stay until she thinks Kate is all right. Then she’ll leave again,” William explained, knowing that Nathan would be even more upset to see her go than him.
Nathan kept hoping that she wouldn’t fly away again. “She seems so happy to be home.”
“Liz can’t be happy here.”
“Why not?”
“Because the future she saw for herself here is dead and it hurts her,” William snapped, frustrated that Nathan couldn’t see that.
“Did she tell you that?”
“She didn’t need to. I can see it in her eyes. Her ghosts get a little too close to catching her when she’s here.”
“I hate that,”
“You can’t change the past.”
“Maybe we can change the future,” Nathan said.
“I hope so. The thought of going years without seeing her isn’t exactly a pleasant one.”
“At least you’ve talked to her and seen her a few times since she left.”
“Maybe you will too after she goes again. After all, you’re friends now,” William pointed out, his expression hard to read.
“It’s all such a mess.”
“Yes, it is, brother.” William pulled his friend into a hug and patted him on the back.
Chapter 14
Elizabeth stood in the living room and looked out the window in amazement. She only wanted to be sure that William had gotten safely to his car because she hadn’t heard it start after he left them. What she saw, though, was something she couldn’t have imagined. It was Nathan, standing with William. The two of them were deep in conversation. She knew, of course, that she should look away and give them their privacy. It just made no sense. What was Nathan doing there? Why were they just standing out in the dark? What on earth were they talking about?
“What are you looking at out there, dear?” her mother asked as she walked out of the kitchen, carrying a glass of water.
“Nathan and William.” Elizabeth forced herself to look away from them and face her mother. Each time she looked closely, she was shocked to see how frail her mother looked.
“Oh,” the older woman said with a shrug.
“You don’t sound surprised.” Elizabeth was shocked to see them there, but her mother was acting like it was just another Tuesday night.
“Should I be?” Diane feigned innocence with a twinkle in her eye.
“Well, it’s a little odd for Nathan to be waiting outside our house at this time of night, don’t you think?”
“Not really. The boys have a lot to process.” Diane stroked her daughter’s back as she spoke.
“Do you know something I don’t?” Elizabeth was suddenly worried that there had been some development in her mother’s condition that she and the two men were keeping from her and Kate.
“I know many things you don’t. I’m older and wiser, my love.”
“Care to enlighten me?”
“I think you might have an idea in this case,” her mother answered, smiling gently at her.
“I promise I don’t. Is something wrong that you haven’t told me about? You look pale.” She reached out to touch her mother’s skin to see if she was running a fever.
“I’m just tired, Lizzie,” Diane said with a sigh.
“Then what’s going on?”
“Don’t you see it?” Diane didn’t understand how her daughter could be so oblivious.
“See what?”
“Both of those boys love you. That complicates things,” Diane explained, amused by the look of shock on Elizabeth’s face.
“It doesn’t complicate anything because it isn’t true. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?” Elizabeth turned toward the bathroom to grab the thermometer.
Diane grabbed her hand, stopping her.
“I’m very sure.”
“Mom…” Elizabeth gasped.
“They have both always loved you. When you were all young, you loved Nathan so deeply that you couldn’t see William’s feelings. After you left, they both put what they felt for you in a box and buried it deep inside them. Now that you’re back, they have to dig it up and face it.” Diane sounded like the sage old matriarch that she truly was.
“Bill is my friend and that’s all he’s ever been. Besides, I didn’t just leave Nathan. He did this,” Elizabeth said, the old anger that she tried to keep at bay slipping into her voice.
“Yes, he did. He was young, proud and stupid, and he threw away the best thing in his life.” Diane wrapped her arm around her daughter’s waist.
“You have to say that. You’re my mom.” Tears threatened to fall as she thought of how supportive her mother had always been, no matter what the situation.
“It’s true. I’ve seen him from time to time over the years. All the light went out of him when he lost your love.” Diane remembered how, whenever they met over the years, Nathan had looked desperate for any mention of Elizabeth.
“Again, he didn’t lose it. He threw it away.”
“Yes, he did,” Diane agreed, her voice full of pity for the foolish boy who had thought that love could take a backseat to his career.
“So then we agree that he can’t possibly love me. You can’t love a person and do something like that to them?” It was the one thing Elizabeth was sure of. Nathan couldn’t love her because nobody who loved her could have shattered her heart like that.
“You’d be surprised how much you can hurt someone even if you love them.”
“That’s not Nathan.”
