“If you weren’t a nurse, I’d be hesitant but I know that you’ll monitor her vitals and pick up on any signs that she needs in-patient care.”

  “Absolutely.” Elizabeth nodded, as if already cataloguing the symptoms she needed to be looking for.

  “I’ll make a copy of all her files for you as well. I know you’ll want to review them for yourself.” Nathan remembered how thoroughly she had always studied the medical records of any patient she was working with.

  “Thank you,” she said stiffly.

  “It’s nothing.” He hated how hard she was working to keep emotional distance from him.

  “No, Nathan, thank you for everything.” Her voice was full of vulnerability as she let her guard down for a moment and showed him just how thankful she was for everything he had done.

  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for your mother.”

  Something in his words caused her guard to go right back up. She looked away from him, staring out the window as she struggled to appear unaffected.

  “She cares a great deal for you too,” she whispered, though it made her soul bleed to say it. Once they would have been family, had he not thrown it all away.

  “We were all like a family once,” he said, his words echoing her thoughts. The force in his gaze willed her to face him once again.

  “We were a family then, yes.” Suddenly, all the pain washed over her as though it had happened only yesterday, but she was determined to remain strong and keep her emotions at bay.

  “Will Baby Bird ever forgive me?”

  “Not if you keep calling her Baby Bird,” she snorted.

  “I’ve always called her that.”

  “A nickname from your big brother is one thing. From you, now, it’s something different to her.”

  “You know I love her and your mom.”

  “Yes, I’m sure you do.” Elizabeth thought to herself that it was only her that he did not love.

  “They must be glad to finally have you home.”

  “They’re always glad to have me back. This will be the longest I’ve been here since I left.”

  “You’ve been back?” He couldn’t hide the shock in his voice. He had just assumed that she hadn’t been home since she left. The thought that there were times that they had been in the same city struck him hard.

  “Of course. My family’s here,” she answered, surprised by his disbelief.

  “I didn’t know you’d been around over the years.”

  “Bill never told you?”

  “No,” he said, shifting from shock to anger. That William had seen her, been near her, while he himself had been missing her felt like a betrayal.

  “I guess there’s no reason he would. We usually meet for dinner or coffee when I’m in town.”

  “I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me.”

  “He probably had his reasons.”

  “Yeah, probably,” he replied sarcastically.

  “You look upset.”

  “I’m not upset. I’m worried. William is a player. You’ve watched him go through enough women over the years that I shouldn’t have to tell you that,” Nathan snapped at her. Rationally, he knew that her heart no longer belonged to him, but he was overwhelmed by emotions.

  “And why is it that you feel you need to tell me any of it now?” She stood up, glaring down at him.

  “Because he’s been all over you since you got back to town.” He surged to his feet and returned her glare.

  “All over me?” she questioned, her tone one of warning although he was too angry to take notice.

  “Yes, I saw the two of you yesterday.” The words spilled out before he could stop them.

  “He had his arm around me because I was upset.” She looked at him in disbelief.

  “I’m sure that’s his move.”

  “Move?” Her voice seethed with barely controlled anger.

  “I don’t want you to be hurt.” He threw up his hands in frustration.

  “You don’t want me to be hurt?” She released a humorless laugh as the one person who had truly hurt her in her life professed to be concerned.

  “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  “You have some nerve, after everything you put me through.”

  Nathan felt his body tense. It was the truth. It was his own fault if he wasn’t a part of her life anymore and he had no right to interfere, but he simply couldn’t help it.

  “William would just hold you back from your plans to travel the world. It’s what you’ve always wanted.” He tried to show her that his words were coming from a place of caring.

  “What I’ve always wanted? Travel the world?” She frowned. “You think that’s what I wanted?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “Did you ever listen to me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I wanted to do Doctors Without Borders for a few years to help people and have a once in a lifetime experience. Then I wanted to come back here to start my career at the hospital and to start a family.” She looked him in the eyes before she emphasized, “I wanted a family by now.”

  His chest tightened as he thought of the two of them having a child, maybe two. He imagined coming home to her each night and hearing the sound of children’s laughter instead of the silence that met him now when he walked into his door. The idea of another man having all that with her made his blood boil.

  “Don’t let William fool you into thinking that he wants to start a family.”

  “What’s William got to do with this? He’s been nothing but wonderful to me.” She raised her tone, unsure why her relationship with their mutual friend bothered him so much all of a sudden or why he felt entitled to advise her on her life choices.

  “Oh, I’m sure he’s been nothing but wonderful to you. That’s exactly my point,” Nathan snorted. “I’m just telling you to be careful.”

  “What’s your problem, Nathan? If anyone ever fooled me into thinking he wanted a family with me, it’s you.”

  The silence suddenly descended upon the room as their eyes locked.

  “I’m so sorry you see it that way.” His voice quivered as he witnessed the pained expression on her face.

  “What other way is there to see it?” She tried to keep the frustration out of her voice. “But I don’t want your apologies. It’s the past. I don’t even know why we’re talking about this.”

  “Look, I never fooled…” he began, struggling to find the right words. “I really wanted...”

  But she didn’t let him finish.

  “No! This conversation is over. Please, just let us know when we can bring my mother home. I have to go. There’s a lot that needs to be done to get the house ready and I don’t have much time.” She rushed from his office without even saying goodbye.

  “Elizabeth, please, wait,” he called after her before slumping down into his desk chair and wondering how their conversation had gotten so out of hand.

  Chapter 7

  Kate and Elizabeth stood in the downstairs guest room that they had converted into their mother’s room for her recovery. They knew she wasn’t going to be happy about the fact that she couldn’t stay in her own room, but the small room was cozy and had its own bathroom. Besides, sleeping downstairs meant that she didn’t need to waste energy going up and down the steps and that it would be easy for the girls to hear her if she needed something throughout the day.

  “Now that the hospital bed is here, I think we’re ready for her to come home.” Kate surveyed the room, sighing with relief. Days before, making it fit for their mother had seemed like an impossible task.

  “Good. Nathan called to say that tomorrow is the day,” Elizabeth said, recalling the very awkward phone call they had shared only hours before. After their tense conversation in his office, she was surprised he had called at all. She had expected his assistant to be the one to let her know when he deemed her mother fit to leave.

  “I can’t wait to get her home. Do you think she’ll be up for a big pasta dinner for her homecoming?” Kate knew that their mother probably wouldn’t have an appetite for their traditional meal, but it was how they always celebrated homecomings and getting her out of the hospital certainly merited a celebration.

  “I think if we do anything less it’ll make her sad but I don’t think she’ll be able to eat much of it. How about we do the big dinner but add a few milder dishes that we know she’ll be able to eat, like baked chicken?” Elizabeth offered, thinking that it would be the best way to make her mother feel as though things were normal. The cancer was already affecting everything else. They couldn’t let it steal their traditions as well.

  “That will be perfect!” Kate grinned as she imagined the expression on their mother’s face when she finally walked through the doors.

  “She’ll be so happy,” Elizabeth said with a smile.

  “Should we invite any of her friends? And maybe Bill?” It was a part of the tradition to fill the house with familiar faces, but their mother hated for anyone to see her as frail as she had been in the past few weeks.

  “I think maybe we should keep it small. We don’t want to tire her out.”

  “You’re right. I’m just so excited to have her here. The house isn’t a home without her.” Having Elizabeth home had helped a lot, but it was really their mother who made the old house a home.

  “Sadly, that’s very true,” Elizabeth agreed. Since getting off the plane, she had yet to feel like she was truly home and she knew that it was because her mother was still stuck in the hospital.

  “I’m so glad you came home. I don’t know what I would do without you.” It was all so overwhelming and Kate wiped a stray tear from her eye.

  “I’d never let you face this alone. We’re a family. We face the hard times together.” As she spoke, Elizabeth wrapped her sister in a tight hug.

  “Mom and I are going to get spoiled having you here with us for so long.”

  “It does feel nice to stay in one place. I think I’ll know mom has her full strength back when she starts pestering me to move home permanently,” Elizabeth said with a chuckle. Since the day she left, her mother had been asking her when she would move back. It was as endearing as it was annoying.

  “She wouldn’t be mom if she didn’t.” Kate had been witness to many such arguments between her mother and sister.

  “Good old mom. She’s the best.”

  “Do you ever think about moving home and settling down?”

  “I think about it all the time. I love my job but it was always my original plan to be back here by now,” Elizabeth said, regretting the words as soon as she spoke them.

  “Then, why haven’t you moved home yet? With your experience, any hospital would be happy to have you on staff.”

  Kate knew that Elizabeth was always very careful not to discuss the future. She had assumed that her sister wanted to keep from hurting their mother, but, in that moment, she wondered if it was because the future was a painful topic for Elizabeth herself.

  “Well, my plan was to marry Nathan, go on an adventure together, then settle down back here and start a family.” Elizabeth took a seat on the bed and braced herself to talk about a subject she had always avoided at all costs. In truth, she worked very hard not to think about the future anymore at all. Instead, she focused on the task at hand. She went where she was needed and did the work in front of her. She never planned for more than two or three months. If you make no plans, she learned, then you cannot be disappointed.

  “You can still have all that.” Kate sat beside her sister and reached for her hand. Her heart ached as she took in the pain in Elizabeth’s eyes. It was so clear now. She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t realized it sooner.

  “I don’t know if I still want it.” Elizabeth shook her head as she fought back tears. She had promised herself long ago that she was done crying about the past, but being home had made it more difficult than usual, even when Nathan was not close by.

  “Because of Nathan?” Kate demanded, her voice full of concern.

  “I always pictured that future with him.”

  “He’s still ruining everything,” Kate growled.

  “Kate, please.”

  “I saw how upset you got after meeting with him at the hospital.”

  “We might have had words.” Elizabeth needed to keep the sadness of yesterday from washing over her. It wasn’t his fault that it still hurt her so much.

  “I can’t stand that man. I wish there was anyone else skilled enough to be mom’s doctor.”

  “We’re lucky to have him. He’s the best.”

  “But to become the best he had to crush your heart. He abandoned you to chase a career.”

  “That’s all in the past,” Elizabeth spoke more to herself than her sister.

  “Apparently not if you two fought at the hospital the other day.”

  “It wasn’t really a fight. It’s just because we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. I overreacted to some things and so did he.” She tried to put their conversation into perspective as she reflected on all that had been said.

  “Do you still love him?”

  “No,” Elizabeth answered a bit too quickly to be fully believed.

  “You answered awfully fast.”

  “Okay, maybe I’ll always love him in some way,” Elizabeth said, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. She had spent years denying that truth, but admitting it actually felt freeing. It was nice to be honest with her sister and herself for once.

  “Why?” Kate struggled to believe that love could still live where there had been so much hurt and pain.

  “Because he was my first love and it was a true love,” Elizabeth looked out the window, remembering just how it had felt to fall in love the only time in her life.

  “I hate him!”

  “It really bothers him that you feel that way.”

  “Good!”

  “He was like a brother to you once.”

  “Then he made the choice not to be and broke all our hearts.” It surprised Elizabeth to hear Kate admit that. She had known, of course, how much his decision had hurt her sister, but Kate was even more stubborn than her sister and had refused to admit her own pain.

  “I know it all hurt you and mom as much as it hurt me.” Elizabeth wrapped a comforting arm around her sister.

  “No, it didn’t. It hurt us, but it wrecked you. And I will never forgive him for that.”

  “We can’t live in the past, baby.” Elizabeth sighed. It was hard to think about that day, so many years ago, when the future she had planned had been destroyed.

  “You’ve been running ever since.”

  “And clearly it was the right choice.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Kate asked, confused.

  “Seeing him now, especially in the hospital where we worked together, is so hard. I don’t know how to be around him because all the old sweet memories trigger nothing but pain now, no matter how hard I try to feel nothing.” Elizabeth finally allowed herself to face the pain she had been in since arriving home instead of running from it.

  “I’m so sorry. Maybe you shouldn’t have come home.” Kate’s eyes filled with sadness as she came to fully grasp the extent of her sister’s suffering.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Besides, maybe it’s time I stop running and face it all so I can finally, really move past it,” Elizabeth said, a new resolve forming within her heart. If she could face it all, then maybe she could finally be free of the sadness and move forward.

  “I love you so much,” Kate whispered, tears shimmering in her eyes.

  “And I love you, Baby Bird.”

  “You know I used to hate when you all called me that.”

  “I know.” Elizabeth laughed softly, hugging her sister close.

  “Now I’ve missed it.”

  “What are big sisters for?”

  They both knew that they needed to get control of their emotions before their mother came home. She had enough to worry about and she would never be able to focus on her own healing if she felt that her daughters needed her to be there for them. No matter how hard it was going to be to see her suffer through the rest of her treatments, they had to be strong. They had to face it all bravely for their mother and themselves. It was the only way to move forward. Their mother didn’t only preach about the importance of courage and strength in the face of adversity, she lived this message and, since they were little girls, she had filled their hearts with the love and trust in the best possible helper and ally.

  “Seek the Lord and His strength,” Elizabeth started reciting the verse.

  “Seek His face continually,” Kate completed it, wrapped in her sister’s embrace.

  Chapter 8

  The next afternoon, Kate and Elizabeth were busy hustling about to get the last few things done before their mother came home. Because Nathan had such a busy schedule, he had told them that he wouldn’t be able to process her discharge until the late afternoon. They had planned to spend the morning with her in the hospital, but their mother had objected. She had told them to rest and take some time for themselves.

  They had agreed to stay home, but they had not rested. Kate had spent the morning scrubbing the house one last time from top to bottom while Elizabeth cooked up a storm, filling the house with the warm, welcoming scents that they knew would bring their mother joy as soon as she walked in the door. Now, all that was left was to bring her home and face the hard road ahead.

  “Kate, are you ready?” Elizabeth called up the stairs as she waited in the kitchen for her little sister.

  “Just a sec. I wanted to grab an extra sweater for mom to wear on the drive home.” Kate rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, as eager as her sister to leave.

  “Good idea.”

  “Do you hear someone knocking?” Kate asked as she reached for the car keys.

  “Who would be here?” Elizabeth wondered who would stop by unannounced. After all, everyone knew their mom wanted no company.

  “Anyone home?” a male voice called as the door flew open.

  “Is that Bill?”

  “I think so,” Elizabeth said, her eyes wide.

 

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