Jaded: (Beautiful Biker MC Romance Series), page 53
“Dunno,” Deanna stated. “I’ve had sex that wasn’t love that still blew my mind.”
My eyes rolled. I was glad Scott wasn’t here. I caught Bront’s expression, too. He was probably thinking the same. He muttered something under his breath about sex that needs antibiotics, then shot me a look.
“Sex can be good without love, yeah,” Gigi said, “but for me there’s nothing like watching my man come, his eyes looking into mine with love, with … possession. Something happens in his eyes, I swear, if it were a drug, I’d be in big trouble.”
Bront snickered and bumped my shoulder with his.
Ride’s and Spence’s bodies shook with silent laughter and Ride gave me a look that let me know I’d be fed endless amounts of shit for this.
I could see Sara’s profile and it looked like the wind had been knocked out of her sails. Like someone offered her a shit sandwich. She had tried and failed to start an argument between the girls.
The dance instructor walked past us and stepped inside. “I’m sorry about that. Okay, so beyond Jenna, Sabrina, and Sara, any others have experience with a class like this, or are we all beginners here?”
“We’re all new, I think,” Ella said.
“Surely not you, Gia,” Sara called out.
Gigi gave her a look of surprise. “Um, yeah, I’m new.”
“I call bullshit,” Sara said, cattily.
“No, really.”
“What are you tryin’ to say, Sara?” Ella snapped.
“I mean… look at her. She looks and dresses like a stripper. Or a porn star.”
“Doesn’t mean I’ve ever been a stripper,” Gigi said. “Though if I had, I wouldn’t be ashamed of it.”
“Dancing is honest work,” one of the girls from the unknown crew called over.
“Amen,” Gigi said.
“And you don’t dress like a Sunday school teacher either, Sara,” Deanna pointed out.
“Besides, you’re a regular here, Sara. You’re in my pole dancing class and you work the pole like you’re a pro,” Jenna said.
“Yeah, probably because she’s tryin’ to keep her man interested since he’s clearly not,” Deanna clipped.
I wondered if the girls knew why Deanna and Scott had split, if they knew Deanna had fucked Sara’s man. Scott and Skip had that scrimmage in the bar, but maybe word hadn’t traveled.
“Ex man,” Sara stated. “I kicked his ass out. But what would you know about it since I heard your ass just got dumped? By some chance, have you had to fill any prescriptions lately, Deanna?”
Shit.
“I’d like you to leave my studio right now,” the instructor stated, eyes on Sara. “This is a bigotry-free zone.”
“Whatever,” Sara mumbled and then she and her friends marched out. Her friends didn’t look too happy about it, though.
Sara startled with surprise at seeing us. I glared at her.
She rolled her eyes.
Her friends looked concerned as the five of us stood giving Sara stink-eye.
“Stop fuckin’ with her,” I said through tight teeth. “Get over your bullshit.”
“Don’t matter. I’m moving back to the falls anyway.” She held her head high as she passed us. “Just brought my friends here in case they wanted to join. Fuck this place. Fuck this town. And fuck the Dominion Brotherhood, too.”
“Bitch,” Bront muttered as she stormed out.
“Um, excuse me?” Jenna was in the hall now with her hands on her hips. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Looky loos!” Pippa came out too, mirroring Jenna’s stance.
Rider laughed. “Busted.”
“Go wait outside,” Ella demanded. “All of you.” She pointed.
“Dang,” Bront muttered.
I walked past her and went to Gigi, who was still sitting on a mat. “You good?” I asked.
She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes.
“I’ll be outside,” I said. I pointed to my mouth. She got up off the mat and kissed me.
“You good?” I repeated.
She nodded.
“She’s leavin’ town. It’s gonna be over with her before you know it.”
She relaxed a little.
“Right,” the instructor called out. “Men, out, unless you’re willing to get up here and demonstrate your skills on a pole. Anyone?”
“Nope,” Bront was the first to say and we all moved toward the door.
“That’s what I thought. Girls, let’s resume. Can I have two volunteers who have no experience?”
“Me!” Pippa exclaimed.
“Me,” one of the girls from the crew of three also raised her hand.
“Can we stay in the hall and watch through the window?” Bront asked in the doorway.
“Fuck no. Move your ass,” Spence clipped, obviously wanting none of us watching Pippa swing around a pole. “Outside, boys.”
***
It was Sunday night, and the mood was mellow in the clubhouse. All the guests who’d come in for Blow’s shindig had cleared out and couples were chilling in the lounging areas as well as the bar on the main floor of the hall since Deke’s Roadhouse was still closed due to cleanup from last night’s bash.
We had a big industrial kitchen in the basement for cooking for a crowd but there were two smaller kitchens upstairs as well near the members’ rooms. Gigi was shredding cheese for the eggs I was scrambling. I’d already made bacon and fried potatoes. She’d been quiet all afternoon since coming back from the pole dancing class, which she said she would not be joining. Neither was Ella, saying she felt too top-heavy to try to defy gravity. Deanna and Pippa were planning to join.
Gigi told me she wanted breakfast for dinner despite the fact that we’d had breakfast for breakfast that day as well, whispering that she didn’t like Rider’s scrambled eggs nearly as much as mine.
“Again, baby, Sara’s moving. She’s not gonna fuck with you anymore.” I dumped some salsa into the pan and kept stirring. I was on this topic again because she still wore the same expression I’d seen at the pole-dancing studio.
“Unless she takes him back like she usually does,” Gigi muttered.
“That’s true. But, baby, you’ve got other people taking your back beyond me. You’re fitting in with the girls.”
“Yeah, I like them a lot. But they’re always gonna look at me a certain way, aren’t they?”
“Stop worrying about what other people think.”
She sighed.
“Dump that cheese in here,” I pointed to the pan.
She poured it, and I folded it into the eggs.
“Lot of good things happening for you. New job starting the day after tomorrow. Talks with the band about your songs. Soak in the good stuff. Yeah?”
She nodded. “You’re right.”
“I’ll call that restaurant tomorrow and see what day we can get in to see the apartment above it. Yeah?”
“Okay,” she agreed.
***
I was heading up the stairs to go to bed. Gigi had crashed hours earlier, but I’d gone down to have a beer with the boys.
As I walked down the hall, I heard voices. I was about to pass a set of bathrooms when I saw Skip had my girl cornered outside the women’s door. Her back was against the wall. He was way too close. And she was crying.
I was about to make my presence known in a way that would undoubtedly involve my fists when she cried, “I told you I just want you to leave me alone. Unless you want me to talk to Jesse about all of this, you need to respect my wishes.”
“Can’t forget, babe,” Skip said. “I just can’t. What might it be like if you’d kept it, if I’d left her for you. It’d be three years old by now, right? I did the math. Three years old this month.”
“Next month,” she corrected.
“Wish you would’ve told me before you got rid of it.”
“You’re drunk. Stop this. Out of my way,” she pleaded, tears streaming, and I felt his words and her expression like a boot to my gut.
“But she and me are done, so now it can be us. We can finally –”
“You expected me to bring a kid into the world out of rape?” she hissed. “You expect me to still give you a shot when I’ve got Jesse? You don’t hold a candle to him. Even if I didn’t have Jesse, it wouldn’t happen after everything you’ve done to me, after the way you treat your wife? You’re delusional.”
“It wasn’t rape,” he insisted. “Told you that a hundred times. You came onto me.”
“It sure wasn’t consensual,” she replied. “You wanted us to forget about this shit and move on but you’re the one that keeps dredging up the past. I want you to please, please just leave me alone. Please.”
“You heard her,” I stated coldly stepping into view.
He spun to face me.
“Rape?” I asked, eyes on my girl. I asked because I knew we had an audience and wanted everyone to hear all the facts.
She looked ready to fall apart. She stared at me with fear.
“The night I told you about.”
“Tell me again,” I said.
She frowned. Then she spoke fast. “The night I think he slipped me something,” she said, realizing it was more than me. We had an audience. Scott, Nolan, and Ella were all in the hallway.
“Never fucking happened,” Skip snapped. “She was all over me that night. Just like every other time she wanted my dick.”
“No?” I asked. “Just a coincidence that you’ve got a guy that set us up with all that GHB?”
“Absolute coincidence,” he insisted.
“You and me, Skippy? In the fuckin’ ring,” I told him.
He leaned back and laughed. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” I hissed. “Tomorrow night. I’d do it now if you weren’t fallin’ down drunk.”
“Bring it on,” he snapped. “I didn’t do anything to Gia that she didn’t want, didn’t fuckin’ beg for.”
I lunged, about to say fuck the ring, ready to end it right now, end him if nobody stopped me when suddenly Brady was between us, wearing just his boxers. Now there were more people in the hall, including Marlena who was standing behind me, looking at my girl with tears in her eyes.
“Save it for the ring, brothers. To your corners for now,” Brady stated.
“Gonna wipe the floor with you,” Skip sneered.
“Can’t wait, fucker,” I spat, then tagged Gigi’s hand and pulled her down the hall to my room.
“Lookin’ forward to puttin’ you in your place, Jesse James,” he mouthed off as I walked away.
When we were in my room, behind the door, our eyes met.
“He got you pregnant that night.”
She wore shame all over her face.
“Why didn’t you tell me, G?”
She thrust her hands through her hair. “I’ve been trying to forget. Told you that night was hard for me to talk about. Not just because I woke up knowing he’d done what he did, also realizing weeks later that he’d done it without protection. He obviously lied about that, too, or I would’ve gotten the morning after pill. Tried hard to just forget. I never wanted him to know, but Kailey ran into him and was pissed for me. She opened her big mouth and told him off. Told him she had to hold my hand while I went for a termination because he did that to me.”
“Fucking asshole. Can’t wait to fuckin’ lay into him.”
“He tracked me down and threatened me, told me to keep my mouth shut about it, that his wife better never find out. I stayed away from the club a long time after that but again, like I told you before, I ran into Delia and she kinda brought me back into the fold. I think Skip shot his mouth off around Spencer and changed his tune about me or he and I might’ve become something. Don’t know for sure, but then people thinking I was Edge’s side piece kept attention off me. Skip warned me then not to say anything to Edge about the past, told me not to be a troublemaker or I’d be not only cast out from the club, but he also made it seem like he’d personally do something to get back at me. So when I came here and was put under your protection he kept wanting to talk to me alone. And I got the feeling he wanted to threaten me again not to tell you about that night. I think he planned to threaten me the way he did with Edge. I just tried to avoid him and kept telling him I wanted to move on. Then tonight, he’s acting like now that Sara kicked him out, it’s our chance to finally be together. So ridiculous. Preposterous. He’s got a screw loose.”
“Wish you’d have told me the whole story.”
“I want to forget. I’ve been trying to forget for almost four years, Jesse. It haunts me. And I don’t wanna think about it. Don’t wanna think about the day every year that I did it, but I do. Don’t want to think about the date that baby would’ve been born, but every year I do. It kills me. I beat myself up sometimes thinking I should’ve had it and let someone adopt it. I told myself I should’ve kept it myself and I’d finally have someone to love. But I couldn’t be connected to him.”
“Of course not.”
“And I couldn’t let a child be born out of something ugly like that and take any chances I’d feel… bitter toward it. I grew up with a mom who didn’t want me, who looked at me like she hated me. I… just wanted to forget. But Kailey fucking told him, so…” She threw her hand out.
I sighed.
“And now other people know and I’m just… I’m so humiliated.” She covered her face.
I pulled her into my arms.
“He should be the humiliated one, not you.”
“My word against his. Sweet butt versus patched club member. He said I was all over him that night, insinuated more than once that he wanted me again, that he dreamt about fucking me. He has this fixation on me and honestly, something’s not right in his head.”
“I’m gonna teach him a lesson tomorrow. And I’m gonna bring forward a motion in church that we vote him off the fuckin’ island.”
Her head came up and her eyes were horrified. “No. Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Let it go, Jesse.”
“I’ve already called him into the ring, G.”
“I mean let it go after that.”
“Nope. Knowing what he’s been doin’ to you? It hasn’t been easy for me to fuckin’ swallow it but he seemed like he stayed away when I told him to, and my hands were tied because of club protocol. What he pulled tonight? Me finding out the rest of it? My hands are no longer tied. My fists are fuckin’ clenched and I’m gonna be unloading months of anger on that fucker. He doesn’t deserve to be in this club. He’s why his wife treated you like shit. He earned that, not you. He’s no better than the Wyld fuckin’ Jackals date-raping you and threatening you repeatedly? Givin’ his woman sex diseases, fucking another member’s woman behind his back while harassing my woman?”
“What? Who?”
“He was the nail in the coffin for Deanna and Scott. Gave her an STD that she brought home to him.”
Her eyes widened.
“So, no. I’m not lettin’ anything else go where he’s concerned. Especially not now. He’s cornering you tryin’ to get you to leave me for him? He’s a goddamn tool. He’s a tool and a rapist, and I want him out of this club. He might have ten years where I’ve only got one, but-”
“Listen to me…” She put her hands to my face. “I’m already having enough of a time being here. I’m here because I want you. I’m here because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You wanna beat him up, fine. Do it. But don’t put it up for a vote that he gets kicked out of the club. That’ll mess with the club’s whole bros before hos thing, and I already feel like most of the boys would find life easier if I wasn’t –”
“That is not this club’s mantra, woman.”
“The Valentine boys specifically look at me like they wish I wasn’t here.”
“Those boys have been absolutely supportive. Of course they’re worried their women are jealous but that’s not on you, it’s not on me. It’s obviously workin’ itself out. And those girls have taken you into their crew, haven’t they?”
“Yeah, but…”
“You think Deacon would pick anyone of us over Ella? You think, looking at the way Fork and Jojo look at one another that they’d let someone get in the middle of that? You’re not a ho. They’re not with hos. The brothers I consider my brothers believe in family first. The club is family, but that doesn’t trump their relationship with their girlfriends. And as for me and you, you’re important to me. I love you. I love my club, but they’re not ahead of you on my priority list. We’re still kinda new, G, but you’re my priority. The thing we’re building. And this club needs to be the kind of club I believe in for me to want to continue to be a member. I haven’t inked them into my skin yet, I was plannin’ on doing it after a year. I’m at that year mark now. If this is the kind of club that would continue to let a piece of shit like Skip Ford be responsible for our safety as road captain? No. Fuck that. I won’t take their ink if they’re the sort of club that puts a fuckhead like Skip ahead of me in this situation. I called him into the ring. After that, I’m calling for kangaroo court, too.”
“What’s that mean?”
“That means one of us stays and one of us goes. Or we both go.”
She said nothing while I undressed and got into bed.
And then I pulled her close and dotted kisses along her forehead.
“Do you think I did the right thing?” she asked.
“The abortion, you mean?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure I believed in it until I was faced with that pregnancy test and the way the whole thing happened. I still don’t know if I did the right thing. I hate thinking about it.”
“You did what you needed to do at the time. That makes it the right thing.”
She snuggled into my chest. “I wanna have babies someday.”
“Good. I’ll do my best to give ‘em to you.”
She held tighter. “I love you.”
“Love you, baby.”
“Sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I get it,” I said and caressed the back of her head.
