Jaded: (Beautiful Biker MC Romance Series), page 38
“I already paid Delia. I didn’t want you worrying about that debt, knew you’d fret after finding out the club helped for free when Francie didn’t need it. So I sent Delia the money this morning.”
Gigi blinked in surprise.
“I’ve got your back. Sometime, maybe you’ll have mine.”
She threw her arms around me. “After all the crap, all the nonsense, I didn’t ever think I’d luck out like this. I’m like… the worst girlfriend in the world to you these last weeks and you’re still this awesome to me.”
“Buy me a steak dinner, grab a box of Fruit Roll Ups to give me some of that epic head tonight, and that’ll be a start,” I said with a shrug.
“Your wish is my command, Lord Captor,” she whispered and sucked my earlobe.
“Little vixen,” I said. “You fixin’ to get fucked in this truck?”
“I wouldn’t mind that,” she whispered against my neck.
“I wouldn’t either, except it’s not a good idea to let my guard down with the shit that went down today, so you’ll get your fuckin’ when we get home.”
***
When we got into my room, I immediately worked to shed her clothing.
“Too long,” I told her between nibbles on her throat, “Way too long since I tasted you.”
“Yeah,” she breathed, dragging her fingers through my hair, then biting my earlobe.
“Didn’t like goin’ that long without you,” I said.
“I missed you,” she whispered. “So much.”
“Yeah?” I kissed her throat and then pulled her shirt over her head.
She jerked like I’d hurt her and then her face was red, and she pulled her bra off quickly, dropping it to the floor, then kicking it.
“I take that off you,” I corrected.
She gave me a wonky smile, going for my fly. I stopped her. Something was off.
“Gigi?” I asked, and grabbed her chin and made her look at me. “What?”
“Nothin’,” she said, shaking her head.
She was full of shit.
“Start talking.”
“I have better ideas.”
“Woman…”
“What?”
“Talk.”
“About?”
I sighed. She bit down on her lip, looking guilty.
“What’s the rule I gave you when we started?”
“No lies. No deceit.”
“Right. And?”
I waited. We both knew something was up.
Shame filled her face as she leaned over and lifted her bra from the floor. And then she showed me a Band-Aid that was under it.
I flinched. “You were hiding that from me?”
“I didn’t know I’d see you today. I was having a … bad time. And then when you started undressing me, I worried you’d see it and get mad and… I tried to hide it.”
Fuck. I let that penetrate for a minute while she stared up at me with big, frightened eyes.
“You wouldn’t have done it if you knew you were seeing me today?”
Her eyes dropped to the floor.
I tipped her chin, so she had to look at me. “Where’d you cut yourself? Show me.”
She lifted her arm and I saw the scabs on her inner bicep.
”That the first time you’ve hurt yourself since we talked about it?”
A muscle jumped in her cheek. Then she opened her mouth and clamped it shut, saying nothing.
I shook my head. I guess I’d missed it.
“Outlets,” I said. “No scratchin’ scabs.”
She flinched, clearly remembering that first excuse for a bandage she gave me.
“I’ll try harder. I had a few slips.”
I pulled air into my lungs, then let it out slowly. It didn’t help.
I took my cut off and kicked off my boots.
“Let me help.” She approached and reached for my fly.
I stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “Think I need to just crash.”
She jerked in surprise. “You… you’re…” She let that hang.
“Tired. Over six hours driving today. Be back. Washin’ up. Go ahead and crash. Be back in a bit.”
I left the room.
***
I got into the room, dropped my jeans and got under the covers. The lights were out but the TV was on. She was looking at me when I got in and I could see she’d been crying.
“I’m fucking this up,” she whispered.
I had no reply.
“I’m gonna do better, Jesse.”
“You gotta fuckin’ let me in. Gotta trust me, G.”
“I do.”
“Obviously, you don’t.”
“Why would you say that?” she asked.
“You hidin’ something so I won’t get mad? C’mon. What would that say to you?”
“You’re right,” she whispered. “I don’t… this is new to me.”
“Let’s just get some sleep. Been a long fuckin’ day.”
“You don’t… don’t want to have sex because you’re mad at me.”
“I’m frustrated, Gianna. That’s not the same as being mad. Let’s just put shit to bed and sleep.”
“Can we… Can I…” She rolled into me and put her hand on my jaw. “I’ve missed you. I want to make you happy. I want…you.”
“Not in the mood to fuck, woman.”
“Are we gonna be okay?”
“If you let me get some goddamn sleep when I’m askin’ for it, maybe.”
I turned over and adjusted the pillow.
19
I woke up to her eyes on me. She was chewing on her cheek. She looked stressed out, like she hadn’t slept much.
And I felt remorse at leaving shit the way I did last night, but I couldn’t help it; I was frustrated. I need more from her than what I’ve been getting. And I didn’t need the stress of worrying about what she might do to herself either. That shit was weighing very fuckin’ heavily on me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hello,” she whispered.
“Come here,” I ordered.
She scooted closer. I caught her by the underarms and pulled her up on top of me.
She had nothing on.
I ran a hand up and down her spine, putting my mouth to her ear while she pressed her tits against my chest. Her nipples hardened.
“You sleep with nothing on hoping to seduce me last night to make up for me being pissed off?”
She nodded, burying her nose behind my ear.
I reached for a condom, but she moved down my body before I got it opened and then she was wrapping her mouth around my cock.
Fuck yeah. That hot mouth, that talented tongue?
“Get on my face while you suck me off,” I demanded.
Her eyes lit up, then she twisted around, trying to get her ass up while still sucking me off. She took too much time to get there so I grabbed her leg and flipped her, taking a nip at her ass cheek.
She squealed and then giggled. The giggle died when I latched onto her clit and sucked.
“My god, Jesse, you’re good at that,” she whimpered.
I slapped her ass. “Get that hot mouth back where it belongs, hostage.”
She complied, taking me deep. And it’d been a while for me, and she was very eager to please, so though she came fast, I came not long after.
“Round two in ten,” I said. “Come here.”
She twisted to get to the top of the bed, then snuggled up to me. I played with her hair. She scrubbed at the stubble on my jaw with her nails.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m gonna do better. Use those outlets, and… be honest.”
I tapped her ass. “Good. Make a list of what food you want, stuff for both of us for the next couple days, and I’ll send Nolan and Bick out for it. You’re here for the time being. Lockdown right now. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
“But you’ve got the run of the clubhouse.” I put my index finger to her nose, “You can go downstairs through the inside door during opening hours, too. Hang in the Roadhouse if you want company, if you’re hungry or thirsty beyond what we get in. I’ll set up a tab so you can go down and get whatever. We’ll have lunch together today in there, yeah?”
“Yep. Sounds good.”
I kissed her. “I’m serious, though. Don’t just hide out in here. Some of the other women’ll be around too. You can also go down for coffee, to chat with the girls that work there or the brothers’ women or whatever. You don’t need to hide. You’ve got as much right to be here as any of the wives and girlfriends that are here. You get me?”
She nodded, hesitation in her eyes. And something else there, too.
“I mean it,” I told her.
“Okay, Jesse.”
I wanted to whisper words into her skin that would soothe her. Make her see the goddess that stares at her the mirror. The girl won’t look the goddess in the eyes. Because shame eats her alive.
I rolled her.
“It’s been one minute, not ten,” she pointed out, mood lighter.
“I can kiss and touch you for nine minutes,” I reasoned, holding her face.
***
It was around ten o’clock at night and it was me, Gigi, Scott and Deanna, plus Bront, Bick, and Pudge in the larger upstairs lounge. Deanna and Gigi were sitting together chatting. I was smoking a joint while we listened to Tom Petty’s greatest hits album on the stereo. The mood was mellow. Scott and Deanna seemed okay to my eyes, seemed like they usually were, so I was guessing things were on the mend for them.
There was a knock at the door. Nolan answered it.
“Well, hello ladies…” he greeted. “Who are you here for?”
It was Dina with two of her friends. They were all vamped up, looking for attention, and clearly, Dina was looking for me. She looked straight at me and asked, “Here to find out if anyone’s in the mood to party.”
“People are permitted by invite only,” I called out. “You can party downstairs in the bar like everyone else.” I put my joint out in the ashtray and tucked the roach into my cut’s inside pocket.
More bodies moved in behind them. Blow, Speedy, and a visiting nomad named Nix.
“Always in the mood to party,” Blow said, smiling at Dina and her friends. “Come on in, girls.”
Fuckin’ Blow. Another example of why he wasn’t leadership material. He heard what I said and didn’t bother finding out if there was a reason for it. Not to mention our lockdown status should automatically mean nobody outside club members and their women in the fuckin’ clubhouse.
I pointedly crooked my finger for Gigi, who was watching the exchange.
She smiled and came to me.
I patted my thigh, so she crawled into my lap and put her arms around me.
“Hello,” she greeted.
“You about ready for bed?” I asked, thumb stroking her bottom lip.
“Whatever you want, baby,” she answered huskily, then sucked my thumb. I pulled it out and gave her a dark look of promise, knowing all eyes were on us.
“Yum,” Dina said, sitting down beside us. Close. Too close. “Room for one more?” She leaned in. Her eyes were on my girl rather than me. “What do you think about that? Can I join you guys?”
Gigi gave her a sweet smile, which made me bristle. And then G’s eyes bounced to me and she obviously spoke before reading me, because she sweetly offered, “Whatever you want, baby.”
“Fuck me,” Bront muttered. “Lucky fuck.”
“No thanks,” I replied to Dina, making my disgust clear.
Dina pouted. “You pissed at me, Jesse?”
“Not pissed, Dina, just not interested.”
“Maybe some other time?”
“Don’t hold your breath,” was my reply.
Blow laughed. “Jesse, are you high? Because I’ll take not only those two,” he gestured to Gigi and Dina, “but you two as well.” He jerked his chin toward Dina’s friends. Then he called over to Deanna, “Not to leave you out either. You’re all welcome.”
“Don’t tempt me to call you into the ring, O’Grady,” I stated.
“Whoa, Jesse. Just jokin’.” Blow laughed it off and then gave Dina a slow head-to-toe perusal.
“Bedtime, Gigi,” I said, lifting her off my lap by the hips, then tagging her hand.
“Goodnight, everyone,” she said and waved.
I felt all eyes on us as we left.
When we got to my room, I locked the door and leveled her with a dark look.
“You want that?”
“Want that?” she parroted, pulling a hoop earring out of her earlobe.
“A threesome with me and that chick?”
“Only if you do,” she said, looking confused. She took out the other earring.
“Come on, woman. You’ve gotta have a fuckin’ backbone on ya. I mean… gimme a fuckin’ break.” I shrugged off my cut and chucked it on the dresser.
Her expression fell.
“You want me putting my hands on someone else?”
She stared.
“Do you?” I practically roared.
“No,” she whispered.
“You want that chick’s hands on you?”
“Not really. But if you wanted it, I’d be okay with it.”
“Because you want it, or you think I want it?”
“Because … because I want to make you happy.”
I tried to summon patience. “You think the way to my heart is by giving me access to another bitch’s pussy?”
She winced.
“You’ve got every right to tell another woman trying to get in there with me that I’m yours. Just like I have every right to expect nobody looks at or touches what’s mine. Or makes smartass comments about puttin’ their hands on you. Understood?”
She nodded, wide-eyed.
I stalked out to the bathroom.
When I was back, the light was off, so I undressed and got into bed.
“Jesse?” she called in the dark.
“What?” I snapped.
“I’m glad you didn’t want a threesome,” she whispered.
I sighed, chest feeling a little less tight.
“Really glad.”
“Dina was the last chick I fucked. Didn’t like the way she played that tonight. You see her in the bar, up here, or around town, steer clear.”
“Okay.”
I adjusted my pillow. “Gimme another pillow. You’ve got ‘em all again.”
“You can have them all if you’ll be my pillow,” she said and ran her nose along my throat, then tickled my earlobe with her tongue. “I’m naked, by the way. Unless you’re too mad at me.”
I rolled her to her back.
“Deal. Though you didn’t let me undress you, which doesn’t make me happy. But yeah, I’ll be your pillow after I fuck you. But woman, it might be a little fast and a little rough. Because I’m pissed. But I’d never hurt you, okay?”
“Sounds good to me.”
I froze. “Rough play sounds good to you?”
“Sure does,” she whispered.
I growled.
And she took it as an invitation, but it wasn’t that kind of growl. I was pissed. So I caught her wrist as her hand slid across my cock.
“You sayin’ that to make me happy or you sayin’ that because you mean it?”
“I actually mean it,” she whispered. “I mean, a little rough. Spanking, hair pulling. A little throat grabbing. Not, like… bruises or loss of consciousness or anything extreme.”
“Serious?”
“You’re asking me if I’m serious?” she asked, humor in her voice.
“I don’t want you setting yourself on fire for me, baby. That’s not what I want at all.”
“No, I wouldn’t be. Because it’s you and because I trust you, so I know you’d make me feel safe like you always do, and you’d make it good, too. I wouldn’t say that to just anybody.”
“I hope not.”
“Full disclosure: I gave that trust to one person. They didn’t let me down. But they weren’t you, they weren’t what…” she swallowed, “what you are to me, Jesse. Please believe me.”
I put my mouth to hers for a quick kiss and then turned the lamp on, because I wanted to watch. I flipped her to her belly, smacked her scrumptious ass, and took a handful of her hair, tugging gently until she got the message and scrambled to her knees. While I rolled a condom on, I took her in. Bent over for me. Fucking beautiful.
“Play with your clit,” I ordered.
I sank inside slowly. “Keep touching yourself,” I demanded, slapping her ass before I pulled out and then rammed back in hard, pulling a gasp from her.
It didn’t take long for her breathing to quicken, for her fingers to go faster. I ran my hand up her throat and lifted so we were both on our knees, my front plastered to her back. And then as she came, I tightened my grip on her throat just a little, and bit her shoulder.
Her cries went louder. I slapped her ass one more time, as I exploded.
***
“Rough enough?” I asked when she was curled up in my arms a couple minutes later. “Or you want it rougher?”
“It was amazing. I don’t know about rougher.”
“We’ll play it by ear,” I said, kissing her. “Never wanna hurt you, baby.”
“Same,” she said, kissing my chest.
“You’ve got a voice in this relationship, Gianna.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“And it needs to be louder than it is.”
“Right,” she said louder.
And then I crashed.
***
I was on a bench in the little building in the new compound we’d dubbed our club fieldhouse. The space wasn’t done yet, but we’d put all our equipment here and we’d been using it instead of going to our usual gyms since it was easier than heading out in groups. I was drinking water, catching my breath after my post-workout stretching.
“Yo, brother,” Edge greeted, heading in my direction. “You just starting or just finishing?”
“Finishing,” I stated. “You want this bench?”
“No, not here for a workout right now. How’s things?”
