Jaded: (Beautiful Biker MC Romance Series), page 22
She winced and then her face reddened, eyes going hard.
My voice gruff, I leaned forward, saying, “Don’t get pissed, woman. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have looked. I saw blood on the sink back at the cabin, bandage wrappers in the trash there and here. Wasn’t hard to figure out. Opened that box for confirmation.”
Her expression morphed into embarrassment.
I kept talking. “I figure you’ve got some outlets you reach for when you get to a dangerous frame of mind. Your guitar. Your journals. You don’t have those here, so here’s some paper and pens so you have options in case all the shit from today tries to mess with you. And a phone so you can listen to music. Play games, color some flowers, get your mind off your pain at least a couple minutes at a time.”
She pulled her lips tight, eyes filling with wet. “Jesse,” she mouthed and then her lip trembled, and she shuddered out a long breath.
“I don’t hold back, G. I see you doin’ shit that’s dangerous, I’m gonna call you out. That shit’s dangerous. Obviously you did it at the cabin, too, before the bad news – even though you had your journals, your guitar, so that’s something you gotta work on. You know it already, I’m sure this ain’t news, but you’re under my care, baby, so I’m gonna care, gonna help you when I see you need help. All right? And if I don’t see it but you need it, do not be afraid to ask me for help.”
She surprised me by wrapping her arms around me and holding on tight. And then she pulled away and wiped her eyes with her sleeve cuffs. “You need to stop this.”
“Stop what?”
“Not bein’ salty.”
I laughed and wiped a tear from her cheek with my thumb. “I’m still salty.”
“You haven’t been an ogre with me for… like… days. Don’t let me get used to it.”
I snickered, then sobered. “Maybe you should get used to it.”
She physically jolted.
“Though, can’t promise I won’t get salty sometimes. Anyway…” I gestured to the markers. “Overheard a conversation in the yard in the joint. Guy that used to cut said he started drawing on his arm with a red marker instead. Pretended it was blood. I made sure there’s a red Sharpie in that box.”
The frown lines over the bridge of her nose deepened.
“Try it,” I invited. “Though, thinkin’ now I shoulda bought something easier to wash off than Sharpie. Try red lipstick or somethin’.” I shrugged. “You got one?”
She bit her lip and nodded. “Got at least seven.” She then looked away and fidgeted. She wasn’t ready to talk about this.
“Nobody knocked on the door while I was gone?” I asked.
She shook her head.
Good. I might lose it if Skip tried that shit again.
“Gotta head to church. You need me, text or phone me and I’ll come straight here. He should be there with me, but somethin’ happens, and he knocks on the door again, you call me. I’ll come immediately. You want anything before I go?” I tucked a lock that escaped her braid behind her ear with my fingertips and then looked into her eyes again.
She shook her head again and tried to look off to the side, chewing her lip.
Using my index finger under her chin, I tilted her jaw to see her eyes. She startled at the eye contact.
I held her gaze for a long minute, hoping I was communicating where I was at.
She searched my eyes and I saw a flash of something, then she looked away. Still not believing it.
So, I needed to lay it out in black and white then.
But I had to get to the chapel.
“Need me? Call me. Back soon,” I said.
I watched a swallow work down her throat.
I kissed her. I did it softly, letting my lips linger before slowly pulling back and looking into her eyes, holding her braid. She leaned in, wanting more, then I gave it to her, taking in the whimper she gave me. My thumb skated over her hard nipple and I wished with a cuss that church was starting an hour or three later.
“Mm. Fuck. Gotta go. To be continued… yeah? If you’re up for it. No pressure.”
She swayed when I broke contact and moved for the door.
“Thanks for the phone, Jesse. It’s really nice. I’m … gonna pay you back.”
“You’re not,” I corrected.
“Another incidental covered by Deke?” she asked, looking hopeful.
“No. It’s from me. And it’s my pleasure, baby.”
“Um… you can’t.”
“I already did.”
I saw her hand clench the bedding.
“Gotta go, Gigi. Back soon. We’ll finish this conversation, then. We have more to talk about.”
“We do?”
“We do,” I confirmed.
“Jesse, wait.”
I stopped.
“Looking in my journals hurt. A lot. Looking into my caboodle and seeing my darkest secret hurts almost as much. I get that you’re concerned, but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m tough; I’ll be okay. I’ll get by. I always do.”
“Outlets.” I pointed toward the stuff on the bed. “Church, baby. Back soon. I’ll have to have a drink with the brothers after and then I’ll be here. Yeah? Keep watching your comfort show. Draw, journal, or listen to music. Outlets. Okay?”
She blinked a couple times, then swallowed again.
I left. I left hoping she was beginning to see clearly.
***
Her and I were one of the items on the agenda. It got me curious about what was said about us the night before in Aberdeen’s church, but I didn’t have to wonder for long.
When Rudy gave Deke the floor, his voice came through on the speakerphone and he went right for that point.
“Said most of this last night to the Aberdeen charter but it bears repeating for everyone. Gia Jones helped save lives with her warnings and that’s why Jesse started keeping’ her safe. But to add to what I said last night, I want family members to treat her not only with respect because she brought us that invaluable intelligence, but also because Jesse’s tryin’ her on for size so she’s likely to become family, too. We make family feel like family. Yeah?”
“Absolutely,” Rudy put in. “People who earn their place in this club either as a friend to the club or a member should always be treated well. That includes the club sweet butts and the former sweet butts.”
I knew eyes were on me, so I avoided the urge to grind my teeth at the way Deke worded it, at the way Rudy called her a sweet butt. They meant no harm, I knew that, but I didn’t like the choice of words. It might’ve been okay to word it that way if she was a new hookup that didn’t have history with the club but based on her history I didn’t fuckin’ like the implication that she was disposable. I knew I had to let it go. As a thick-skinned man, offhanded remarks haven’t ever bothered me, but it grinded my gears because of feeling increasingly protective over her. I didn’t just want her safe and whole. I wanted that shame out of her eyes, so it made me wanna shield her from words that’d bring that ugliness on.
Other guests who weren’t spending the night were heading out soon in groups. Delia had sorted rooms for a few in case things went late and in case Edge decided to stay the night. But in the chapel, he said he wanted to get to Aberdeen as soon as possible, so a convoy was happening. We were increasing our presence. We had allies in other MCs. We were making statements and doing it with the volume on max, so the Wyld Jackals’d know we mean business and we have allies too. Local ones that could inflict harm, unlike their flexing about possible allies who were nowhere to be seen.
Their days were numbered. Our loved ones were under curfew. And this sesh was about us dotting our i’s and crossing our t’s for the foreseeable in case they tried to pin anything else on any of us. They were going down, but until then: traveling in groups, clear alibis with logs and backup for every man in the club from prospects up to chapter presidents. And extra caution working our plan to make sure that when they got taken down, they stayed down.
***
I was having a drink in the packed billiards room. I’d have gone straight to her, but needed to mingle with the brothers for a while first. The brotherhood is something that nurtures its’ members and as such, you not only get it when you need it, you need to give it when your brothers need it. Edge in particular needed it tonight. He and a few of the guys were heading to Aberdeen shortly, so I planned to make my exit then and go back to show her with more than words where my head was at.
I already told Rudy I had to skip the poker game and have time with my new girl. He razzed me for it, but it was good-natured.
Sitting at the bar between Edge and Axel, I felt the heat of Skip’s gaze on the back of my neck. I knew he was at the pool table behind me, and I’d been feeling his gaze the past ten minutes.
He intentionally avoided eye contact with me during church, other than the seconds where our eyes locked directly after Deke’s “trying her on for size” comment. He was the one to look away first.
I was guessing that because he drives for Dominion Moving and Storage he decided to stow his motorcycle in the back of the truck today so he could ride back with Edge. Doing a solid. Booking a room but heading out with Edge instead. Being a brother. But if he continued shooting me the looks behind my back and acting like a little bitch, complaining about me to the brothers like I was sure he was doing earlier with Axel, we’d have to have it out in a way where he’d get my message.
I wasn’t a grunt. Even if I were a prospect, the bullshit he was pulling was something I’d have done something about. I still didn’t know the whole history of him and Gianna, but I didn’t like the way it was looking, what my gut was telling me about it. Not only was he crossing lines, but he was also doing shit that would continue to buy her hassles with his wife. And she gave every indication she wanted no part of any of it and never did. Why was he being so relentless about getting her alone?
***
Axel was in the midst of bitching about his woman’s parents giving her a hard time over the planning of their upcoming wedding when a noise chimed from the inside pocket of my leather. Ax was talking about the fact it’d probably be a clubhouse wedding instead of a church one and his girl’s heart was a little mashed over it. Axel’s mixed race, his Black father Ben is VP in Rapid City. His girl comes from racist WASP stock, and she wants her folks to step into the twenty-first century. Ax is losing patience with them. Not because he gives a shit about what they think of him, because it’s hurting Leah.
“Have it at our church,” Rudy invited.
“Is it Pentecostal? Baptist?” Axel asked.
“Non-denominational Christian. Independent. I’ll set up a meeting for you with the pastor. She’s good friends with my missus.”
I wasn’t surprised Rudy and Delia attended church. He was no less wild than the rest of his club, his original road name being “Rude” that eventually changing to Rudy somehow, but the man had that Dog The Bounty Hunter vibe at times. You’d hear him cuss his brains out one minute and then he’d be the one to start a prayer circle. He did that for Jojo Valentine when it was reported she was in the hospital after the Jackals ran her and Lick Hanson off the road. Club parties with families, the man led grace before meals. He wasn’t in everyone’s face with religion, but you knew he had strong faith.
Not all chapters have chaplains, either. Pudge was ours. The mother charter had one, too. Deke didn’t seem religious, but he welcomed Pudge taking on that role. Pudge found religion in the joint, though he was still about freedom, partying, and speaking his mind with colorful language. And Pudge didn’t shove religion down throats, either.
More noise chimed and when I lifted Gigi’s phone out to see what it was, I saw the preview of a Facebook message.
Skip Ford: Need to talk. Open the door. I know you’re in there.
I looked over my shoulder and scanned the space. He wasn’t here any longer. Don’t know when he slithered out of here, but the fucker figured I was otherwise occupied.
She replied. She must have loaded Facebook on her new phone.
I’m not feeling good. I’m trying to just get some sleep. Bad day.
Skip: 5 minutes. Open the door. You don’t want to ignore me Gianna. I need assurances that ancient history is staying in the past.
I made my exit and did it fast, working my way down the series of hallways until I saw him at the door.
“Oi!” I clipped. “You wanna explain to me why you’re again banging on this door?”
He cussed under his breath. “Christ sakes.”
“Lookin’ pretty pathetic about now, Skippy.”
He fuckin’ hated being called Skippy, everyone knew it.
His eyes narrowed. “I need five minutes to talk to her about something important, but you keep blocking that, so I took the opportunity while I could. What can I say, I’m resourceful.” He threw me a cocky smirk.
Greasy fucker.
“Fine. Deal with your ancient history,” I invited, then unlocked and opened the door, peeking in first and seeing she was in bed, eyes on me. I threw the door wider. “Say what you need to say.”
Skip wanted to rip my head off.
Gigi looked like she wanted to throw up.
“What business do you have with my girl?” I demanded, stepping inside, purposely between her and him, but positioned so I could see them both.
And I watched her eyes flash as color drained from her face.
Footsteps approached and two prospects were walking by, Ducky trailing behind them and peering in with curiosity.
“Forget it,” Skip muttered. He threw his hands up in the air and didn’t look at her. “Can see how it is now, didn’t take it seriously even with what Deke said, but see you’re serious so I’m done. Don’t want no more drama. No drama, Gia, okay? Leave the past in the past. Let’s all move on.”
She stared at him, then hesitantly nodded.
He backed further away from the doorway, but I did not miss the pointed look he gave her.
“Apologies, Jesse. Brother. Condolences, Gia. Sorry for your loss. Be smart, okay, babe?” He gave her another pointed look.
“What’s the ancient history?” I pushed.
What was he telling her to be smart about?
“It’s done now. Forget it. Have a good night,” he said.
“I plan to,” I told him, my meaning clear.
I closed the door and looked to her in the bed. She still had that same TV show on. She had the markers and journal beside her, and I could see she’d been using them.
“Quite the marathon binge you’re on. That kid’s all grown up.” I gestured to the TV.
Her eyes bounced to the TV and then back to me.
“What’s the story?” I asked her. “What’s the unfinished business with him?”
“I have no idea,” she whispered, looking pale.
“Don’t lie to me,” I warned.
She bit her lip. “Sorry.”
“Then tell me all of it,” I said, “all the history with him. He’s clearly thinkin’ he’s entitled to have access to you despite what I’ve said to him, so I need it all. Let me have it.”
She frowned. “Why? Why do you need to know?”
“I’m not pissed at you, baby. I’m pissed at him. I need you to level with me here, so I know what I’ve gotta deal with and have all the information I need in order to help me do that.”
Her forehead wrinkled with confusion.
“It’s a guy thing. A biker thing. Talk, woman.”
“Um… he lied to me when I first started comin’ around, makin’ me think he was interested in a relationship. He’s a liar. Cheater. And he thinks he can sweet talk me or bully me or whatever.”
“Bully you? Into fucking him?” I straightened.
She stared at me with alarm.
“Bullies you into fucking him?”
She bit her lip.
“Gigi,” I demanded.
“Not exactly. He’s tried.”
“He succeed?”
“Not… um... let’s change the subject.”
“Let’s not. How about you tell me what the fuck he’s done?”
“Jesse, it’s been a rotten day. A rotten couple days. Can we just drop it? Please?”
I stared at her expectantly. “Start talkin’, baby. Or I go haul him back here and make him start talking.”
“You’ve been super-nice to me but seriously, I don’t wanna cause problems with the club. That’s the only good thing about meeting Skip. He gave this club to me in a way. I mean… it’s not mine, but everyone, mostly, is cool with me. Delia is being amazing to me. And you… you’ve been… incredible. Incredible, Jesse.” She put her palm to her heart to drive that message home. “But I don’t wanna cause problems for the Doms and I’m not gonna say anything else that might cause a problem so please don’t ask. Okay?”
“Baby, listen… if that fuckin’ guy-”
“Can you just stop?” she exclaimed, slamming the remote control on the bed. “You’re fuckin’ with my head and it’s already severely fucked. I’m begging you to please stop it, okay?”
“How am I fuckin’ with your head?” I demanded.
Despite her grieving, despite that she was having a rotten day, it was time to get some things straight. Because despite the grief, despite the bad news weighing on her, she needed to get where I was coming from. Maybe it’d help. Or it wouldn’t. But between the things I’d picked up on from her the last couple days and the things Delia said to me, it was time for this conversation, leaving nothing unsaid. After that, we’d see where it went.
She took a swig of her drink.
“How am I fuckin’ with your head?” I repeated.
“Callin’ me baby or your girl for one thing. Holding me in front of other people all protective-like is another.”
I laughed.
She looked wounded as she went on, “Kissing me coming and going like I’m your… your…” She shook her head. “You were kind to act like there was something with us when we left Aberdeen to make sure Skip’s old lady didn’t go off on me for no reason, because there was no reason that day. I won’t go there with Skip again if I can help it. I get that we’ve been havin’ fun because you’re stuck with me and I’m helpin’ pass the time, but…”
