Dark Horse, page 5
Izzy grinned, gave a quick glance back to her friends. “Yeah, okay. See ya later, dyke!” She smirked before she laughed outright, as all of her friends guffawed behind her. They were gone, running up the street that Sadie had just left, their laughter and jeers carrying back to her on the breeze.
She stared after them for a moment. Izzy ran with a gang? Izzy, the straight-A student who was the apple of her parents’ eyes? What the hell was going on? Shaking her head, she turned away from their retreating forms and returned to her route. She had enough problems without thinking about what her little sister was up to.
She became aware of the smell of smoke in the air a few moments later. As she neared the gate that led into the school grounds, she could see bright flames flicking up the side of a small building. The gate’s lock was busted, the gate itself partly open. Taking in those facts, her stomach sank. She knew what Izzy and her gang were running from. She also knew she needed to get out of there. Fast.
Quickening her strides, she shot across the road, away from the gate, and cut up a side street. She could hear sirens approaching as she zigzagged her way back to the main road to jump a bus for home. Getting home was her number one priority. There had been too much crap, and all she wanted was to crawl into her bed and shut it all out.
* * *
Sadie slept badly. Her day at school on Friday passed by in a blur. She tried hard not to think about Chloe but continually failed. Images of her and Chloe together haunted her. She missed her deeply but at the same time knew there was no future there. Chloe had made it perfectly clear how little Sadie meant to her, and Sadie wasn’t that stupid to go back. As much as it hurt, she had to stay away.
By the end of the day, she was just angry. All cried out and hardening her heart against what had happened, she was resolved to just get on with her studies. Having scraped by most of her school life, she was working hard to make amends. Even if her parents didn’t quite believe her. She knew, from all her sessions with Mrs Duncan, that getting a qualification was the surest way to get her out of that house the fastest.
She arrived home after four, stunned to find both her parents sitting at the kitchen table. They should have been at work; they never came home before six. She stopped just outside the doorway to the room. Her heart started to hammer as she took in the scene. Her mother’s eyes were puffy and red, and she was clutching a tissue tightly in one hand. Her normally perfectly coiffured blonde hair was a mess, and her make-up had run from her tears. Her father sported the red blotches on his cheeks that usually signalled intense anger, and his body was rigid in his chair.
She shifted on her feet, not sure whether to enter the room or run away. The noise of her shuffling caught her father’s attention. He looked up.
“She’s here,” he said roughly.
“Wh-what’s going on?” Sadie stammered as her mother finally looked up. She looked…vacant, like she was beyond caring about anything. Sadie swallowed nervously. “Mum, what is it? Are you okay?”
“No, she’s not okay!” her father yelled, his voice stunningly loud in the small room. He stood, and Sadie involuntarily took a step backwards. His entire demeanour threatened violence, just like the night she came out. There were veins bulging in his neck as his chest heaved and his hands clenched and unclenched. She was suddenly, gut-wrenchingly, terrified.
“Peter…” her mother said softly, and he paused on his way round the table to look down at his wife.
It seemed to take all of his effort to rein himself in, but he managed, exhaling loudly as he took two steps back.
Sadie could feel tears welling up; she had no idea what was going on, and she was the most scared she’d ever been in her life.
“Please,” she whispered, “I don’t understand.”
Her parents looked at each other. Her father spoke, his voice clipped, as if it was an effort not to shout each word. “The police were here this morning, just after you left for school. Someone set fire to some outbuildings down at St John’s Primary School last night. There is one witness who thinks it might have been you.” He glared at her, as if daring her to speak. She kept quiet. “Luckily for you,” he spat, “the police have deemed the witness unreliable.”
Sadie started to speak, but he sharply held up a hand. “No! Don’t say a bloody word.” He breathed in deeply. “So, your mother and I have decided. This is the final straw.”
Her mother made a slight whimpering sound.
“You’ve been a bloody menace for years now,” her father continued, his voice rising again, “and we can’t take any more. I’ve phoned your gran—you’re going to live with her.”
Sadie stared at him. They were kicking her out? What the—?
“But—” She flinched as he roared at her.
“Enough! I have fucking had enough!” He pointed a stubby finger at Sadie, his arm shaking slightly, his face even redder. “You have made our lives a misery for far too long now, and it’s got to stop. It’s either this or someone will find some real evidence against you and you’ll end up in prison. Trust me, you’ll prefer being in Sydney with your grandmother. Maybe being somewhere new will wake you up to the mess you’ve made of your life so far.”
He stepped towards her, and she tensed.
“And believe me, if you weren’t underage I’d just bloody kick you out on the street. But I can’t do that, so the only option is your gran. She said she’ll take you, and you can transfer your schooling over and finish it there. And once you’ve done that, you can do whatever the hell you like, as long as it doesn’t involve coming back here. You’re never setting foot in this house again. Do you hear me?”
Shock ran through her body like ice water. In its wake, anger at the injustice of his words set her hands trembling and her heart thumping. She looked at her mum, hoping for some kind of support, some sort of reaction against the rage of her father, but she was met with the same blank look she’d been wearing since Sadie came home. She wasn’t even sure her mum knew she was there.
“But, Dad, it wasn’t even me!” She tried to defend herself, tried to get the words out to explain how unfair this all was, but even as she did so, the crushing weight of her situation bore down on her. She realised how trapped she was by circumstance. Her alibi—a married woman who would deny everything Sadie said. The real culprit—more than likely the perfect little Izzy, who’d never put a foot wrong in anyone’s eyes. Her own reputation was working against her. No matter what she’d done the previous three months to get herself back on track, it was the previous four years of trouble that everyone was focused on.
“Enough with the lying! Go to your room and pack your suitcase. Anything you can’t pack we’ll box up and ship to your gran’s next week. You’re booked on a late flight tonight. You’ve got about an hour to get ready, then a car will be here to take you down to Melbourne.”
She stared at him, her body tumbling into shock so fast it was making her head spin. Tonight? They’re making me leave tonight? But what about her friends and her school and all her plans? What about Christmas, only a few weeks away?
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Her father’s voice was hoarse. She glanced up at him, tentatively wondering if what he was doing to her was causing him discomfort, but one look at his face belied that. She’d never seen him so angry. Livid, in fact. She knew there would be no reasoning with him. With either of them. Her mother was practically catatonic, with her eyes glazed, her face slack.
As if on autopilot, Sadie’s legs turned her round and carried her slowly along the short hallway to her bedroom. Some forty minutes later, she had a full suitcase and her small daypack containing her phone, a paperback she’d started reading only the day before, and her jewellery and wallet. Looking round the room, she felt nothing. It was as if all emotions had shut down, as if her mind couldn’t take it on. She should be screaming, she thought dimly. She should be screaming and shouting and fighting, defending herself. But her position was hopeless, and she knew it.
She hauled the case down the hallway and left it by the front door, dropping her daypack alongside it. She walked back into the kitchen and ignored her parents as she drank a glass of water. The front door slammed. Moments later, Izzy strolled into the room. She stared at Sadie standing by the sink. Her gaze drifted to their parents, who were sitting in silence at the table.
“What’s going on?” Izzy’s voice was harsh, an undercurrent of fear evident in the tremble it carried.
“Isobel—” their father refused to shorten either of their names, “—your sister is going to live with your gran. She’s leaving tonight.”
Sadie dried her hands on a towel, watching her sister’s reaction.
Izzy snorted. “What is this, some kind of joke?” She looked at Sadie. “What’s he talking about?”
Sadie felt a tingle of satisfaction somewhere deep inside. Izzy actually looked as if she cared. But the sarcastic response shot out before she could stop it.
“Well, apparently, I set fire to St John’s Primary School last night, so before I cause any more trouble, I’m being shipped off to Gran’s.”
Guilt and fear paralysed Izzy’s face for a spilt second before she regained control. In that brief instance, Sadie had her confirmation; Izzy and her gang were the ones who’d set the fire.
Sadie was taking the blame for her little sister, and Izzy knew it. Sadie clenched her jaw. Izzy would never speak up and defend Sadie. Not when she had so much to lose herself if she did so. Sadie supposed she couldn’t blame her—it wasn’t likely their parents would believe Izzy, even if she did suddenly confess all.
Before anyone could say any more, the doorbell rang. Sadie’s stomach clenched, and tears filled her eyes again. Her father stood without a word and walked to the front door, pushing past Izzy, who stumbled back against one of the kitchen cupboards, her mouth wide in an O of shock.
Sadie looked at her mum, willing her to lift her head, to meet Sadie’s gaze. Willing her to say something. Anything.
Nothing.
“Mum?” she said, her voice trembling as rage at her mother’s silent acquiescence coursed through her veins.
Nothing.
“Jesus,” Izzy breathed, staring at Sadie. “Sades, I—” She looked distraught. Sadie shook her head, silencing her. Izzy swallowed hard. She threw her hands to her face as tears flowed down her cheeks.
“It’ll be okay,” Sadie murmured, looking at Izzy. “Just…look after yourself, okay?”
Izzy sobbed and nodded. Suddenly, she was across the kitchen and hugging Sadie tightly, something they hadn’t done since Sadie was about ten. Sadie gave her a quick hug in response and then pulled away.
When she walked into the hallway, her father had already taken her suitcase to the car. He stood at the end of the driveway talking to the driver like he didn’t have a care in the world. Sadie was nauseous watching him. She picked up her daypack and glanced back at a wide-eyed Izzy watching her from the kitchen doorway. There was no sign of her mother. Sadie conjured up a weak smile for her sister, then turned and walked down the driveway.
When she reached the car, she let herself in. She didn’t look back at her father, didn’t say a word. Just climbed into the back seat and shut the door.
She stared straight ahead as she fixed her seat belt in place. The driver started the engine and pulled them away from the curb.
CHAPTER 5
Present Day
Sadie stepped out of the bath and slowly towelled off, the memories lingering but already dissipating in power. After dressing quickly, she went out for a pizza at the cafe next door. She called both her gran and Nicole after her tea.
Nicole was not surprised that Sadie had gone back down memory lane on her journey.
“Totally makes sense that would happen,” she said. “But how did it make you feel?”
Sadie pondered that question for a moment.
“Well, it obviously stirred up all the hurt from that day, the unfairness of it all. But at the same time, it almost felt like it happened to another person. I’m not that young girl any more. I’ve built a great life for myself since then, and in a way, I’m kind of thankful that I did get to move to Manly. I’m not sure what my life would have been like if I’d stayed back in Ballarat.”
“Yeah, I know, and that’s great. Obviously, I’m delighted you came to live here.” Sadie could hear the smile in Nicole’s voice. “But,” Nicole continued, “what about going back there now to see them all, after all this time? Aren’t you just itching to get into it with them? If it was me, I’d at least want to confront Izzy, and oh, seriously tell my father just what I fucking thought of him. Not sure about your mum, though—maybe given what she’s going through, I’d go a bit easier on her.” She paused. “I guess if it was me, I’d still be so angry I couldn’t hold it back. What they did to you was so wrong, in so many ways.”
Sadie sighed and tried to tamp down the agitation that Nicole’s words stirred in her. It was feeding the buried anger, and she didn’t need that fire stoked. She had real fears of how she might react if all that repressed anger came out. Especially if faced with her father.
“I know, and I guess there is a little part of me that feels that same depth of anger as you do about it.” She flinched at the white lie. “Maybe I should want to finally say what I couldn’t say back then. But, Nic, it wouldn’t change anything. I can’t turn back the clock and make things go differently. As the saying goes, it is what it is.” She sighed. “Look, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m going to walk into that house and pretend that nothing’s happened. Or that I’m not worried about going back there. But for me, the only reason I’m going back is to see Mum. And yes, I do have some questions for her, and yes, I do want to get into it a bit with her, as you put it. But the other two? Them I am happy to just ignore.” She paused, then ploughed on as her fears came to the fore. “I’m scared of seeing him—he’s not changed, so I won’t get anywhere with him—but I am dreading what he’ll say, how he’ll act. And how I’ll react. I can’t lie about that.” She exhaled slowly as the anxiety about meeting her father again hit her in a series of uncomfortably hot waves through her chest. “Izzy has apparently changed a lot. If she wants to talk, that’s okay, but I won’t initiate it. This trip is not about her. Anything that happens there will just be a bonus.”
“And what about Chloe?”
Sadie snorted. “Nic, I haven’t given her a second’s thought in about ten years. She is not important at all in this. Anyway, the chances of seeing her are pretty remote.”
“You know what?” Nicole giggled before continuing. “I bet she’s like fucking huge now, with four ugly, snotty brats in tow. She dresses like shit, and her husband has an enormous beer gut.”
Sadie laughed out loud at the image of the impeccable Chloe turned slob, and they chuckled together. Once again, Nic had known just how to take the edge off things. They chatted on about Nicole’s day and her plans with Tash for the weekend, before hanging up with a promise to speak as soon as Sadie was settled in back in Ballarat.
The ride the next day from Albury-Wodonga to Ballarat wasn’t as long a stretch as the day before, about four and half hours including a refuelling stop. As she left the Hume Freeway and headed across country to Ballarat, her nerves started to tingle. Less than two hundred kilometres from what used to be her home, thoughts and memories crowded in. The what-ifs started parading through her mind, making her feel uneasy and not liking it. She concentrated harder on the road, trying to keep the fears away.
At the first road sign pointing the way for Ballarat she winced a little. Definitely too late to turn back. She took a deep breath and rode on.
* * *
The hotel was just off Victoria Street, near Bakery Hill. Not near the family home, but it was the only hotel she could afford with a week’s vacancy at such short notice, and only then because they’d had a cancellation.
As she cruised down Victoria Street towards the centre of town, she took a few looks around. It was strange, being back. Especially, because nothing really looked any different. Yes, some businesses had clearly come and gone, but generally, this way into town didn’t look that much changed in twelve years. She made sure to keep to all the speed limits through town, no point attracting the attention of any police officer who may remember the name Sadie Williams.
The hotel was a converted colonial building, set back off a side street. It looked well maintained. The owners had clearly gone to a lot of effort in making the small hotel look inviting. Tubs of bright flowers flanked the front door, and the brass door handles gleamed in the mid-afternoon sun. It was just after three when Sadie swung the bike into a small space in the almost-full car park. She eased her body off the bike and immediately undid her leather jacket to let in some air. The weather in Ballarat was a couple of degrees cooler than what she had left behind in Albury-Wodonga earlier that day, but the sun had shone down on her for the whole of the ride. Her body temperature had steadily climbed, and she could feel the dampness of perspiration across her back and shoulders.
She stretched for a few minutes, easing out the small of her back in particular. After hoisting her daypack onto her back, she locked the bike, lifted the panniers, and headed for the front door.
The lobby she stepped into was surprisingly classy. The floor was formed from what looked like polished jarrah that continued up to adorn the front desk and the half panelling along each of the walls.
Behind the reception desk stood a young woman so gorgeous Sadie found herself staring in unabashed appreciation. The woman smiled warmly, pushing her stylishly thick-rimmed glasses up onto her hair in a move that was so unconsciously sexy it stole Sadie’s breath away. Sadie smiled back at the woman, blinking rapidly in an attempt to pull herself from the spell she seemed to be under.
“Hi,” said the woman. “Welcome to the Queen Victoria Hotel. My name is Holly. How can I help you?” Her hair was a deep chocolate colour and fell straight to just brush her shoulders. She was dressed in a smart black jacket over a white shirt, the top two buttons undone and showing off a pleasing V of tanned skin. Her face still held a hint of the softness of her youth—Sadie had her at about twenty-one, maybe twenty-two. Subtle make-up highlighted full lips and big brown eyes that gazed expectantly at Sadie, who still hadn’t found a way to form words. The faintest of blushes stole across Holly’s cheeks as Sadie continued to stare. It was only when Holly cleared her throat slightly that Sadie finally came back to herself.
