Dark Horse, page 12
“God,” Holly breathed, squeezing Sadie’s hand. “And now,” she continued, “your mum is dying, and what, she asked you to come home and visit? I’m guessing you’ve had next to no contact with them since they kicked you out, from what little you’ve said about it so far.”
“Yeah, you guessed right. No contact at all. They literally shut me out, completely. Gran has had some contact with them, but even though Mum is her daughter, Gran’s really struggled to talk to her. Obviously, she thinks what they did was totally wrong. Not that she doesn’t like me living with her—we get on great. It was just so wrong that they threw me out at that age.”
Holly felt Sadie’s fingers tense under her own.
“You’re allowed to be angry,” she whispered.
Sadie smiled weakly. “Yeah, I know. And I still am, despite how okay things went yesterday when I saw Mum.”
Briefly she filled Holly in on the time she’d spent with her mother, and Holly’s eyes welled up at the recounting.
“So, now I get why you won’t go there today. He’ll be home, won’t he?”
“Yep. And he’s the last person I want to see while I’m here. I’m going to avoid him completely if I can. Apart from letting rip about what he did to me, I don’t have anything to say to him. And yelling at him isn’t going to change him one bit, so I’d just be wasting my energy.”
Holly nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I think you’re probably right. What about your sister, though? Do you want to see her?”
“Hm, that’s a difficult one.” Sadie shrugged. “Part of me resents her for getting me into that mess, but I know she couldn’t have foreseen that. Plus, being younger than me, it would have taken a lot for her to stand up to him. He was so intimidating. I mean, I was terrified of him sometimes, so there was no way she’d have been confident taking him on to try and defend me.” Her face creased into a frown. “And, you know, regardless of what happened that day and whether she could have helped me, we weren’t actually that close during our teenage years. So, I guess I don’t know. What would we talk about?”
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes after that. Holly could see that Sadie was tired again, at least emotionally. She sat slightly slumped on the bench, and her eyes looked unfocused. Although Holly’s curiosity burned, she didn’t want to push. There’d be other opportunities, either later in the day or through the week. That they’d be spending more time together wasn’t in doubt; the fact that they were still holding hands told her that much.
“It’s really beautiful here,” Sadie murmured. “Thank for you for suggesting this. Obviously, I don’t know Apollo Bay, but I do love how relatively quiet Lorne is. Just what I needed.”
Holly smiled, a satisfying warmth invading her chest. “Totally my pleasure, believe me.”
Sadie laughed, suddenly. “Can we get ice cream now? Please?” She jigged up and down in her seat, and Holly couldn’t help the loud guffaw of laughter that burst from her lips.
“Oh my God, what a big kid! Yes, all right, come on. Back the way we came, and we’ll park up on the main road, if we can.”
Sadie grinned and pulled Holly to her feet. To Holly’s astonishment, and surging physical pleasure, she wrapped Holly into a hug. Stunned, all Holly could do was wind her arms around Sadie’s waist and hold on, soaking up the exquisite feeling of being enveloped by this amazing woman’s body.
“Thanks,” Sadie mumbled against her hair, and a delicious shiver ran over every inch of Holly’s skin.
* * *
Sadie sighed happily as she licked the last of her chocolate ice cream off her fingers. It always had to be chocolate; there just wasn’t an alternative as far as she was concerned. She glanced round to see Holly watching her, her eyes wide and dark, her face slightly flushed. The temptation was to smirk, or comment, but she decided better of it. Not here, not now. Maybe later…
They were down on the beach, using their jackets as beach blankets. Sadie tried hard not to look at the tanned, bare skin of Holly’s legs alongside her. Holly’s cut-off denims showed off her shapely legs perfectly; the tight tee shirt she wore, in army green, showed off all her other curves equally well. It was a casual outfit, nothing spectacular, and yet she wore it like a second skin, oozing sex appeal. Holly had unpinned her hair, and it wafted around her face in the gentle sea breeze. As strands tumbled around her eyes, she would flick them casually away. Sadie watched each action with an intense craving she couldn’t begin to identify. They were sitting close but not quite touching. The proximity of Holly’s warm skin to her own was making goosebumps flash up and down her arms.
Being with Holly was so easy. Nothing had ever felt this easy. But the temporary nature of her visit to Ballarat was weighing heavily on her thoughts. As much as she was attracted to Holly, she needed to protect herself from more hurt. She’d been very good at that all these years, never letting anyone get too close, keeping her secrets. Only Nicole had been allowed to know the real Sadie. Even that had taken a while. The ease with which Holly had disabled Sadie’s self-protection in two short days shocked her. A big part of her didn’t want to let her in any closer as a result. The rest of her wanted to bury her face again in that rich, chocolate-brown hair, pull that body close to hers, and lose herself in what looked like the softest lips imaginable. Sadie would never have described herself as overly romantic prior to meeting Holly. She knew if Nicole could read her thoughts she’d be laughing up a storm at her best mate. But the woman sitting next to Sadie was bringing out some seriously gushy notions that she couldn’t seem to curtail.
“So,” Holly said suddenly, clearing her throat in a way that spoke volumes about how she’d been affected by the visual of Sadie’s tongue licking her own fingers. “What shall we do now?”
“What are the options?” Sadie knew her own voice sounded croaky too and hoped her face wouldn’t colour with her combination of arousal and embarrassment.
Holly blushed a little, her mind clearly taking her places elsewhere with Sadie’s question. Again, Sadie resisted the urge to throw out a flirtatious comment. All it would take was one flippant remark to fan the fire that was smouldering between them, and for some reason, that scared her. Maybe, because she so badly wanted to set off that spark.
“Well, we could obviously sit here a bit longer. Or we could have a drink somewhere. Or, if you like, we could ride up to Erskine Falls, which is just out of town. It’s very pretty up there. It means more time on the bike, though.”
“Actually, that sounds nice,” Sadie replied, thinking that at least if they were looking at gorgeous scenery, her mind would leave her in peace about how completely besotted she was becoming with Holly.
The ride up to the falls didn’t take too long. Sadie enjoyed, a little guiltily, the feel of Holly pressed against her again. Holly’s thighs tucked up so snuggly against her own was causing all sorts of fantasies to skitter through her brain. She was trying supremely hard to push them away and just focus on the road, which curved and climbed steadily higher up into the hills.
They parked and took the path that led to the upper lookout, winding their way through the ferns and trees. The air was lush and a little damp, as moisture from yesterday’s rain evaporated off the vegetation and forest floor.
“Wow, it’s like something out of Lord of the Rings,” Sadie whispered, gazing at the scenery around her. Raising her voice any louder would intrude on the ethereal atmosphere.
“It’s great, isn’t it? We came here heaps when I was a kid. Apparently, I just fell in love with this the first time my parents brought me here. Every time we came down here for a holiday, I insisted on being brought back again.”
“What age were you the first time?”
Holly paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing in concentration. “I guess about six?”
Sadie chuckled. “Yeah, somehow I’m not struggling to imagine you as a feisty little kid who knew what she wanted and wasn’t going to take no for an answer!”
Holly stared at her. A slow smile formed on her lips. She nodded imperceptibly, and her gaze flicked to Sadie’s mouth and back again to her eyes.
“Yeah, that’s me,” she said quietly, but in a tone that hinted strongly at the heat that had been simmering between them all day.
Sadie swallowed, suddenly feeling like she was way out of her depth in a game she didn’t know the rules for. Holly might be young and inexperienced, but oh God, could she play the seductress when she wanted.
Holly smiled again and focused on the path ahead of them. Sadie fell back into step beside her, trembling. Jesus, she was so close to grabbing this woman and just—
“So,” Holly said, breaking into her thoughts. “This is the upper lookout.” She threw her arm out like a TV game show hostess, and Sadie grinned.
The view was blocked a little by the trees, but she could still see the ribbon of water that cascaded some thirty metres down to its pool below. It wasn’t a huge flow, which wasn’t surprising given the time of year, but it was still very pretty. She could see why Holly loved it here. Birds sang and trilled nearby, and the sound of the falling water was a soothing background to the view across the lush forest around them.
“Nice,” she breathed. “Thanks.”
Holly hooked her hand through Sadie’s arm, the intimate contact shooting Sadie’s temperature up by a few degrees. She was suddenly tinglingly aware that, for the moment, they had this lookout area to themselves.
“You’re very welcome,” Holly murmured. Suddenly, she was in front of Sadie, placing her other hand on Sadie’s waist, just inside her open jacket. The heat from her fingers burned through the cotton of Sadie’s tee shirt to her skin below. She was having difficulty breathing and didn’t dare look at Holly. When she did, because her eyes just wouldn’t obey her instructions not to, the fire in Holly’s eyes left her completely breathless.
“I don’t want to wonder anymore,” Holly whispered, moving ever closer, her thighs touching Sadie’s.
“W-wonder what?” Sadie wondered where her normal composure had gone.
“What this would feel like.” Holly closed the last few centimetres between them and touched Sadie’s lips with her own.
For the briefest of moments, that was all she did, just touch. And then she moved her lips tantalisingly slowly across Sadie’s, and Sadie’s hands moved of their own accord, up into Holly’s hair, grasping soft handfuls as she pulled Holly in. Holly groaned as Sadie brushed her tongue against Holly’s bottom lip. In the next moment, Holly opened her mouth and let her in, their tongues colliding delicately in a hot, wet tangle that turned Sadie’s knees to jelly. She sank into it, her hunger increasing exponentially with every minute they kissed. Holly moaned quietly every few moments, and it was quite possibly the sexiest sound Sadie had ever heard.
Like a cold bucket of water being dumped on them, noisy voices drifted from the pathway behind them, and they rapidly pulled apart. They stared at each other, their chests heaving, both of their faces flushed. Holly’s eyes were hooded, and Sadie suspected they matched her own exactly.
Holly stepped back just as the loud family group appeared, but left her arm linked through Sadie’s. Sadie wondered if she needed it for balance, because if Holly’s knees were shaking even half as much as Sadie’s, she would understand the need for an anchor.
They stood for a few moments, ignoring the other people, neither of them looking at each other. When the family moved off a couple of minutes later, Sadie carefully extricated herself from Holly’s gentle grip.
“I…that…” She trailed off, not entirely sure what it was she wanted to say. A myriad of thoughts swirled through her brain.
Holly’s intuition seemed to kick in instantly, and she stepped back slightly, giving Sadie some room.
“I’m not sorry,” Holly said quietly. “But equally, I’m not going to push if it’s not something you’re ready for. I can tell you’re…conflicted.”
Sadie nodded, looking away. “I think…it’s obvious I’m attracted to you. I just…” She waved one hand vaguely in the air between them. She didn’t know what to do with this, whatever it was, between them. Especially if Holly was only just coming into her sexuality. “Can I ask you something?”
Holly nodded.
“Have you ever been with a woman?”
Holly smiled, and chuckled softly. “Yes. More than one.” She made to reach out a hand and then stopped, still respecting Sadie’s need to maintain a physical distance. “You are not my experiment. That’s not what this is about.”
Sadie exhaled. “Good. Because this is…complicated…enough, for me, without that in the mix.” She smiled wryly.
“I know.” Holly’s voice was a soft caress.
Sadie met her gaze and saw that understanding had replaced the desire from minutes earlier.
“But just for the record,” Holly continued, “I want to see what we can make of this. If you’re interested. So, just keep that in mind, okay?”
Sadie could see it took some effort on Holly’s part to sound so casual about it, and on the one hand that made her feel better. She definitely wasn’t alone in this. On the other, she worried about just how far in she was likely to get, and how quickly. And how painful it would be to walk away from that at the end of the week. Because she would definitely be in danger of falling into something that would be difficult to walk away from. Holly was just too much of a temptation, both physically and emotionally, for that not to happen.
CHAPTER 11
Sadie pulled the bike up onto the driveway alongside the Mercedes. It was just before eleven, later than she’d planned to be at the house, but she had overslept. It had taken her quite some time to get to sleep the night before—memories of the day with Holly, especially the kiss, had left her tossing and turning before sleep finally claimed her.
Her mum greeted her at the door, which was a surprise.
“Hello, darling,” she said, smiling widely.
“Hey,” Sadie responded slowly, not sure how to handle the term of endearment. She wasn’t sure her mother had ever called her darling when she was younger. “You’re okay to be up and about?”
“Yes, I am. I’ve rested a lot this weekend. And,” she motioned for Sadie to follow her into the house, “after seeing you on Saturday, it seems as if I feel a little…lighter.” She turned to gaze at Sadie warmly. “You did me good, I think.”
Sadie swallowed down the emotion that suddenly threatened to engulf her again. She nodded in acknowledgement of the words, and saw her mother smile in recognition of the moment and its effect on Sadie.
“Coffee?” Elsie’s voice came from down the hallway, and Sadie looked past her mum to see her grandmother smiling at her from the kitchen.
“Thanks, Gran, that’d be good.”
They all settled in the kitchen with mugs of coffee on the table in front of them.
Sadie looked at her mother and noted the brightness in her eyes, the improved colour in her cheeks. She looked good, amazingly better than on Saturday.
“So what did you get up to yesterday?” Christine asked.
Sadie cursed the blush that shot across her cheeks at her mother’s innocent question. She cursed even harder when she heard Elsie snort.
“Got something to tell us?” Elsie’s face was radiant with her pleasure at catching Sadie out. And she was clearly enjoying stirring things up, as Christine shuffled in her chair, looking distinctly uncomfortable.
Sadie sighed and glared at her grandmother. “I went for a long ride on the bike.” Her tone was shorter than she felt comfortable with, and she winced as Elsie frowned.
Sadie exhaled. “It’s just…complicated.” Talking in front of her mum about her potential involvement with Holly was a prospect that filled her with nerves. She’d need more time to feel comfortable around her mother before she could divulge that level of detail about her private life. Especially when she wasn’t sure how easily her mum could accept her sexuality.
Elsie thankfully turned the conversation onto a new subject without further comment.
“We met that new boyfriend of Izzy’s yesterday,” she said, and Sadie giggled as her gran’s nose crinkled in disgust.
“Oh, yes.” Christine made an indelicate sound. “That was an experience.”
“In what way?”
Christine sighed. “Your sister has always had a…questionable taste in men, but this one was something else.” She paused. “He’s…well, he has some rather interesting views on a lot of topics.”
“That’s one way of putting it!” Elsie exclaimed. “Don’t know what she sees in him.”
Sadie smiled. “How serious is it?”
“Oh, it’s really new, only about a month,” Christine said. “I…well, I shouldn’t really say this, but I have high hopes it won’t last too much longer. Even Izzy seemed to be embarrassed by some of the things he said. I don’t see it working out.”
Elsie had occasionally filled Sadie in on news of Izzy, but she realised she knew next to nothing about her sister’s life.
“What about you, Sadie?” Christine said after a moment. “Anyone special?”
Sadie could tell it took a lot for her mum to ask, and she appreciated the effort, even if she wasn’t ready to share that much just yet.
“No one, really. I never… I wouldn’t have made a good partner for anyone. I’ve had a lot of fun with my friends, and I’ve had the occasional girlfriend.” She noted the slight wince from her mother at the word. “But…stuff from the past has made…well, it’s made it hard for me to let anyone close, you know?” The honest response was not something she’d planned to reveal, but it felt right to put it out there.
Christine nodded, tears in her eyes. “Can that change for you, do you think?” she asked quietly. Sadie stared at her. The question seemed to have been delivered with genuine concern. And without any implication that Sadie’s sexuality was the cause of any problem Sadie had with relationships. Maybe there was hope yet.
The corners of Sadie’s mouth lifted as thoughts of Holly flashed into her mind’s eye.
