The First Step, page 20
“You’ve had a rough day. I’m pretty beat myself. Let me check the weather radio and I’ll meet you in bed.” Justin waved Reed away when he tried to clear the dishes. “Go. Get into bed and I’ll be there in a couple.”
By the time Justin slid between the sheets, Reed was snoring softly. The worst of the storm would pass over the area tonight, but the winds weren’t forecast to be much worse than they’d already experienced.
Leila sat at the end of the bed. He didn’t usually let her sleep with him because she shed all over everything, but tonight he’d make an exception. “Come on.” He tapped the bed twice and she jumped up, settling between their legs and pressed against Justin’s thigh.
He’d rather not deal with hurricanes, but today had been surprisingly good. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t had sex—having Reed next to him gave him a peacefulness he’d never experienced. He spooned Reed as best he could with Leila wedged between them. Outside the wind howled, but inside was warm and comfortable. And for now, that was all that mattered.
Chapter Thirty-Six
REED WOKE to the rain beating against the shutters. Leila shivered and pressed close against Reed’s foot. Reed sat up and petted her, garnering a few tentative tail wags.
“It’s okay, girl.” Justin climbed out of bed and pulled a sweatshirt off the nearby chair. He got back onto the bed and wrapped it over Leila’s torso and neck. When Reed gave him a questioning look, Justin explained, “I wore that most of the day. It smells familiar and it’s soft.”
The shirt seemed to work, because Leila stopped shaking and fell asleep a few minutes later. Reed lay back on the pillows. “Do I get tucked in too?”
Justin snorted, but he pulled Reed close.
“I know the house’s pretty solid—” Reed drew a long breath. “—but I understand why Leila’s nervous.”
“Riding out a hurricane’s never easy.”
“You get nervous too?”
Justin nodded. “When I was little, we had a few come close. My sisters and I hid in my bedroom closet.”
“I bet you were the strong one, telling them it’d be okay.”
“I was scared to death. Even more than of my dad.” Justin’s body tensed with the admission.
“Why?” Reed brushed Justin’s cheek.
“My dad beat me, not them.”
“You couldn’t protect your sisters from the storm.” Reed pulled Justin closer.
Justin sighed. “My dad wasn’t always like that. When I was really small, he’d take me fishing on Core Sound. Sometimes I wonder….”
“If you could have changed him somehow?”
“Yes.”
Reed kissed Justin’s head. “Bullies want you to wonder what you could have done differently.”
“Sounds like you know about that.”
There were few things Reed didn’t like to talk about, but he pushed through his hesitation. As difficult as it was, Reed wanted him to understand. And he wanted that same feeling he’d had when Justin came looking for him, even if he didn’t have a name for it yet. “My dad died when I was in middle school. We moved around a lot after that.” His gut clenched. “I didn’t exactly fit in.”
“Too smart?”
“Maybe.” He’d done well in school in spite of the constant moves. “I liked studying and I mostly sucked at sports. I was the only Jew in a hundred-mile radius. Not to mention I liked boys.” He hadn’t shared that, of course, but some of the other kids guessed. “I was a bully magnet. And I didn’t have much self-control.”
“Sometimes even when you know the worst thing to do is engage, you can’t help yourself,” Justin said.
“I guess.”
Justin took Reed’s hand and put it to his face. “The only time I hit my father back was after he punched me in the face and broke my cheekbone.” Reed felt the indentation where the bone had knitted beneath his fingers.
“Justin, I—”
“I’m really sorry I yelled at you. I was scared.” Justin looked suddenly young. Vulnerable.
Reed inhaled slowly, doing his best to rein in his emotions at Justin’s admission. “I like that you worry about me.”
“I know. But that isn’t an excuse.” Justin pressed his lips together and shook his head.
“You’re nothing like your father.” Reed pressed his hand over Justin’s heart. “You got angry because you care.”
“People are complicated.” Justin nodded and smiled, his blue eyes intensely focused on Reed.
Reed laughed. “And here I thought I was the one making that point.”
“Meeting of the minds.” Justin hugged Reed.
Reed inhaled the crisp scent of Justin’s soap and relaxed into the embrace. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For listening,” Reed whispered against Justin’s ear. “For telling me how you felt. And for understanding.”
In spite of the howling wind and the drumming of the rain on the windows, Reed fell asleep on Justin’s chest. He dreamed they were on the ocean, wind filling the sails and the sun on their faces.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
DIM LIGHT filtered through the shutters. Reed glanced at the clock. The power was still out. He slipped out of bed and walked to the front door. The sound of soft footfalls behind him made him smile.
“What’s it look like?” Justin kissed the back of Reed’s neck as Reed squinted through one of the small glass panes.
“Still pouring, but the wind’s calmer. Looks like the driveway’s entirely flooded near the street.”
Justin put his nose against the glass next to Reed and sighed. “How about we open some windows? We can work on getting one of the window units on the generator once it stops raining.”
“Please.” Without the A/C, the house was uncomfortably warm, and Reed’s T-shirt stuck to his skin. “And I thought it was humid before.” He didn’t even want to think about what the place would feel like in a few days when the sun was out again. At least the gray skies and intermittent rain kept things a little cooler.
“Welcome to the Carolinas. Gorgeous beaches, ocean as far as you can see, beautiful mountains, hurricanes, mosquitoes, and humidity.” Justin grinned and gathered Reed into his arms.
“On the bright side—” Reed turned around and kissed Justin. “—I can think of a few things we can do to pass the time.”
Leila whined.
“Hold that thought,” Justin said. “I think someone needs to go out.”
“You’ve been a good girl, haven’t you?” Reed reached down and scratched underneath her chin. Leila’s ears flattened against her head.
“She likes you.” Justin pulled on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt.
“Nice to hear.”
Reed grinned and snagged a pair of slightly soggy jeans from the hook in the bathroom. He pulled them on but winced as the fabric pressed against the bandage on his knee.
“You coming too?” Justin asked.
“Of course.”
“You sure you’re up to it?”
“A walk?” Reed laughed. “Yes.” When a muscle in Justin’s cheek twitched, Reed added, “It looks worse than it is. Really. I’m a little sore, but moving’ll help.”
“Okay. But only if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. But thanks for worrying about me.”
Justin’s cheeks pinked and he shrugged. “Not worryin’.”
Right. “Okay” was all Reed said.
They walked Leila toward the beach but only made it a few blocks before they had to turn around because of high water. The wind had been too strong to see much the night before, but now the damage was clear. In addition to flooded streets, several more trees were down, one of which had fallen onto the corner of a house, and another had destroyed an outbuilding. They headed back to the house in silence.
It was nearly noon by the time they finished breakfast—who knew you could make coffee on a gas grill?—and showered afterward. Reed found Justin gazing out at the backyard from the screen door.
“You looked worried.” Reed wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist.
Justin nodded. “If the flooding’s this bad here….” He shook his head. “I checked the radio while you were in the shower. The river’s way up and not expected to crest until later this week.”
“You’re worried about your boat.”
“I’m sure she’s fine.” Justin didn’t look sure at all.
“How far’s the marina from here?”
“A couple of miles.”
“Let’s check on her.” Reed took Justin’s hand.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Justin repeated with even less conviction.
“There’s no wind, and it’s almost stopped raining. My knee feels fine, and you’ll feel better knowing she’s okay. Besides, I need to take some photos. Unless you don’t mind if I go out on my own and—”
“Hell if I’m going to let you go out on your own in this,” Justin snapped. “Knowing you, you’ll forget to look where you’re going and fall in again.”
“I might just do that.” Reed leaned in and playfully kissed Justin.
“You joke about it, but….” Justin frowned and shook his head, then shoved his hands in his pockets the way he did when he was irritated.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have joked about that.” He inhaled slowly. Over the years he’d done his best to push people away. With Justin, that was the last thing he wanted. “I like that you worry about me, but it also makes me a little uncomfortable.”
“It does?” Justin seemed almost relieved to hear this, as though he, too, was uncomfortable with how much he cared.
“Yeah.” Reed did his best to put his thoughts into words but found it surprising difficult. “There’s never been anyone—other than my mom—who cared like that. I really am sorry I make you worry.” Looking back on his relationship with Steve, Reed realized they’d led completely separate lives even though they were supposed to be together. Reed had kept Steve at arm’s length, and Steve had seemed content with that.
Justin shrugged. “I guess I kind of like it too.” He seemed to think better of that, because he quickly added, “But no more scaring the shit out of me, okay?”
“Got it.”
JUSTIN WAVED at one of the boat owners as they walked down the ramp to the docks an hour later. What looked like streamers trailed off the masts of some of the sailboats, dancing in the wind—what was left of their jibs, the forwardmost sail on the boats.
“Why would anyone leave sails on a boat knowing a storm was coming?” Reed asked.
“It’s a pain in the ass to take ’em down and put them back up again.”
“So you’re saying they’re lazy?”
Justin nodded. “Pretty much.”
They reached the slip where Justin had tied The First Step days before. Other than one flattened rubber fender, which was easily replaceable, and a dock line that had chafed against the dock until it snapped, the boat looked no worse for wear. At the end of the dock, a few feet of what looked like a mast stuck out of the water—a boat that hadn’t been as fortunate.
“Not enough lines,” Justin said as he pulled out the key and unlocked the hatch. “Beginner’s mistake and one you don’t make twice. You have to figure a line or two will fray and snap in wind just like it did for me. You always want a backup. She probably broke loose on the stern and turned with the current. Hit the bow against a concrete dock a few dozen times, and the water just pours in.”
Justin opened the hatch and pulled a small flashlight from his pocket. “Not too bad.” He moved the light around and shone it at the bottom of the steps that led down into the cabin. A puddle of water had pooled there, about a foot in diameter.
Justin climbed down, grabbed a towel from a compartment in the aft cabin, and tossed it onto the water. “It’s a little slippery,” he told Reed. “Take your time.”
Justin peered into the master cabin and shone the light around. “No water up here. Looks like all the hatches held fine.” He checked the master head, then the aft cabins and head. “Other than the water by the steps, she’s dry.”
About fifteen minutes later, after wrangling the dinghy off the bow and suspending it on the davits where it belonged, Justin and Reed sat and relaxed with a couple of bottles of water. The rain had stopped, and a few patches of blue were visible between thick clouds. Reed took a few more photos of the damage, then leaned back with his hands on the deck and sighed. It felt damn good to be outside without all hell breaking loose around him.
“Considering the wind and the water,” Justin said, “we’re damn lucky.”
The boat owner they’d seen earlier walked over to Justin’s boat. “Made it through okay?”
Justin nodded. “Just a little water. No damage. How about your boat?”
“Pretty much the same,” the man said. “I’m Jim Force.”
“Justin Vance.” He motioned to Reed. “This is Reed Barfield.”
“Good to meet you both.” Jim nodded.
“What do you hear about damage?” Reed asked.
“It’s bad. Boats tossed around like toys over in Wrightsville Beach. The flooding upriver in New Bern is even worse than here.”
“New Bern?” Justin looked even more worried.
“You have family that way?” Jim asked.
“Friends. Most live inland, but they keep their boats downtown.”
“There was a lot of damage to the waterfront area. They’ve had to do a few water rescues.”
“Shit.” The color drained from Justin’s face. “What about around here?”
Jim shook his head. “A woman and her baby died when a tree fell on their apartment. The father’s in the hospital. The flooding’s bad enough that they’ve been patrolling some of the streets in boats. Last I heard, there were a few folks stranded over at Belville.”
“Flooding off the Cape Fear?” Justin asked.
“The Brunswick River too. Someone called out over VHF radio, but from what I can tell, the first responders aren’t sure when they’ll be able to get over there. They’ve got their hands full, and the water’s so high they can’t get in there without a boat.”
“Tide’s only going to get worse.” Justin frowned. “What about the Coast Guard?”
“They said they’ll send a boat over when they can, but it sounds like it could be a day, maybe more,” Jim explained. “Last I heard, they tried to get to them from Southport, but they couldn’t make it in. And with the river as fast as it is, no one was willing to take them by water.”
Justin stood. “Good talking to you.”
“Sure thing.” Jim waved and headed back to his boat.
Justin walked to the stern and began to work the lines holding the dinghy onto the bigger boat. “Think you can find your way back to the house?”
“Justin? What are you doing?” Reed felt suddenly cold.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Justin lowered the boat into the water. “I’ll meet you back in a few hours. Nothing to worry about.”
“What do you mean, you’ll be fine?” He was worried. He was sure he knew what Justin was up to and where he was headed.
“Belville’s just across the river. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Shit, Justin. Are you thinking about rescuing those people?” Shit, shit, shit. He could see how fast the river was moving.
Justin glanced at him but didn’t respond.
Reed swallowed hard. The dinghy was small, maybe ten feet long, with inflatable tubes for sides and a rigid bottom made of something Reed guessed was plywood. “Shouldn’t you be taking a bigger boat?”
“Bigger boat won’t do it.” Justin spoke with such confidence, Reed relaxed a little. “I know that area. If it’s flooded up to the houses, I’ll need to beach the boat to get to them. This is exactly the kind of boat for the job.”
Whoa. Reed took a deep breath and said, “I’m going with you.”
“The hell you are.” Justin glared at him.
“The hell I am. You can’t do this yourself.” He wasn’t going to back down on this one and risk losing Justin.
“I can handle it just—”
“You might be able to get the boat there. But you’ll need help getting her out of the water, and you’ll need help getting people onto the boat and keeping them inside if it’s rough.” Not to mention it was his job to follow the hurricane story, although that part of the equation was less important than making sure Justin didn’t get in over his head.
“You’re not going.” Justin’s expression was like stone.
“I am.” Reed stood his ground. He was used to being stubborn, and on this point, he’d go to the mat with Justin. “An hour ago you were lecturing me on not doing anything stupid. You think I’m going to pretend you aren’t doing the same damn thing? At least we’ll be doing something stupid together.”
That didn’t sound very convincing.
Justin frowned and was silent for a long moment. Then finally he said, “You’re right. I can’t do this myself.”
“I’m right?” Reed expected Justin to put up more of a fight.
“Yep.” Justin nodded sheepishly. “And I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have helping me do this.”
“I love you, you big idiot.” The words flew out from his lips before he could even think about what he was saying.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
WHAT THE hell did I just say? Reed tried to come up with something to cover his slip, but decided that would probably make things worse.
Justin turned back to what he was doing. “If you’re going to help, why don’t you untie the rope on the motor so I can attach it?”
Reed breathed a sigh of relief and got to working on the motor. Focusing on the task took his mind off worrying that Justin might take what he’d said the wrong way. And what’s the right way? He ignored the irritating voice at the back of his head and released some of the tension on the clamps that held the motor onto the sailboat.
“Use this.” Justin tossed him a rope pulley with a hook on the end. “Tie it around the motor, then use the pulley to raise it up.”
