Dragonoak: Gall and Wormwood, page 7
“You didn’t come alone, did you?” he asked. “Are there others in the castle?”
“In the forest beyond,” Claire said, tilting her head towards the horizon. “I’ll need help bringing them into the castle, of course. I was hoping you might lend your aid…”
“Of course,” Alex replied immediately. Distantly.
“You’ll never believe who we have with us,” I said.
“After today?” Alex asked, managing a laugh. “Try me.”
“The former Queens Kouris and Kidira,” Claire said. “As well as the former Commander of the Kastelirian army, and another pane.”
“Not to mention a phoenix,” I added.
Alex narrowed his gaze, trying to discern if we’d already skipped to the part where making jokes came easily. Not knowing how to respond, he placed both hands on his head, exhaled heavily, and ultimately fell into the armchair Claire had previously been occupying.
“You’re going to have to catch me up,” he said. “Fill me in on everything I’ve missed. But tell me. You mentioned Queen Kidira. Does that mean that her daughter is—”
“Later, Alex,” Claire said.
He didn’t understand the warning in her voice. He had thought Katja dead all this time: how could Claire possibly have bad news for him?
“All I need to know is—”
“Alex,” Claire warned.
Perhaps Alex looked at me for an explanation and abruptly understood enough to know to keep his mouth closed. I could not say. My head was turned away, eyes blinking rapidly lest I screw them too tightly shut to ever open again.
“… Of course. Of course. Once the celebrations are out of the way, there will be plenty of time to talk. They’ll never give me a moment’s peace if I’m not in attendance soon.”
“You’re leaving?” I asked.
Alex nodded, and his mouth twitched at the corner, telling me how little he wished to go.
“There are only so many places the castle staff would think to look for me,” he explained. “And Claire has quite the choice to make. Who are you going to visit first? Our father, or our mother?”
CHAPTER IV
Alex left with a band of people who would’ve fainted, had they known Claire was in the castle, and all of the day’s momentum went with him. Claire made no plans, out loud or otherwise. She sat in one of Eden’s armchairs, and I could not work out which was more intimidating: meeting the King and Queen of Felheim, or meeting Claire’s parents.
“We’re going to do this,” I said, banishing the silence. “One step at a time, right?”
I said it out loud, but I didn’t believe it. Two years away from Asar, months spent in the ruins of Kastelir, and weeks with the pane, yet it was now that every second counted. It was now all the rash decisions would be made, though it was difficult to imagine anything more deliberately abrupt than Kastelir’s destruction.
I had to be patient. We were relatively safe, for all that safety had meant of late, and only Eden and Alex knew we were there. Sen, Akela, Kouris and Kidira were outside, along with Haru-Taiki, and all I had to do was wait for Claire to make her choice.
We’d pull a plan together after that.
Pacing the length of the chamber and wearily glancing out of the window wasn’t going to help her. I slumped into one of the armchairs and Claire caught my gaze for all of a second.
She did not cry. Rather, she was dragged into deep, shoulder-shaking sobs. She covered her mouth with her hand and wasn’t able to close her eye for the force with which the tears came. My heart twisted in my chest and lodged in my throat, and I was so shocked I almost couldn’t move at all.
Leaving the armchair behind, I was at her side like a shot. The moment I stood over her, she wrapped her arms tightly around me. She buried her face against my chest and let me hold her. I had never known her to crumble like that before. In the past, she had kept it inside. She rarely let it twist at her features. But now she was sobbing loudly, openly, as her fingers twisted in the back of my shirt and her tears soaked the fabric.
“Claire,” I said gently, blinking away tears of my own. “It’s a lot, I know. I know. But I’m here. We’ve gone through so much these past years, and we’re still here.”
“Eden, she…” Claire was mumbling. “Of course she was still… still herself, still willing to help. After I doubted her. And Alex, how could I have feared the worst with regards to him? The both of them, they are… this is my family, Rowan. I have been away for so long, and now… now I am back. I am home.”
“You are,” I agreed, letting her ramble as she needed.
“I did not know you, when last I was here,” she said, shoulders trembling. “How that has changed. I could not have imagined…”
Managing a smile, I kissed the top of her head.
“What about me? I never thought my life was going to get any better. I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone new, let alone you,” I said. “Not that it’s all been fun, or easy. But you, Kouris, Akela… It’s all been worth it.”
Claire stopped crying for long enough to speak.
“Were you not with me, I would not be crying. Even if I was locked in here alone,” she said, finally looking back at me. Her hair was a mess, and I pushed her eyepatch back to brush the tears away. “That speaks for something.”
I didn’t smile because she was crying, but because she trusted me enough to do so. She trusted that she’d be able to come back from this without shame or embarrassment. Eden’s chambers hadn’t changed in the last few years, and Claire directed me towards handkerchiefs, water, and a comb. Claire took slow steps and made herself presentable, and strangely, her outburst eased something within me.
Holding her while she cried had brought its own sort of exhaustion.
Once her hair was combed back into place, she spent far too long putting her eyepatch on and said, “Well. Today’s festivities may have put my mother in a forgiving mood. She likes it when Alex does his part for the Kingdom.”
“We’re meeting the Queen first, then?”
“It’s a strategically sound plan,” Claire said, as though only logic came into it. “The King is ill, and likely being kept under close, constant watch. He will have healers with him. Not to mention the fact that he is the one in power. I believe I need to build up courage before announcing my intention to usurp him.”
“Does she know? About the dragons?”
“If she did not know before I left, she does now,” Claire said, and took my arm when I offered it out to her. “We did not discuss such matters, when the King told me the truth. We did not discuss much; I could barely bring myself to look at any of them.”
“Do we just… track her down?”
Claire hesitated before pressing her fingers to the door handle.
“As I said: under my terms. I am in the castle, and the others are outside. If we need help, they will come,” she said, and nodded to herself to ensure she believed it was true. “And if we encounter trouble…”
It took me a moment to realise she was gesturing towards me, and then it was sealed. Not only could I protect her, but I would protect her. I could not undo the damage the flames had sown, but I could make sure she knew that she was still whole, still herself; she was worth holding onto, no matter the cost.
“My mother’s chambers are not far from Alex’s,” she explained. “But we will not seek her out. Do you remember the way back? If Laus is still at the doors, we could enlist their help. I remember them well; they are rather fond of Eden. Tell them that Lady Hawthorne wishes to speak with them in her chambers. I will have them send forward a request to my mother.”
The route from the entrance to Eden’s chambers was far from complicated, but I was afraid my mind would mix up the paths I’d taken through Isin’s castle with this one. I didn’t let Claire worry. I nodded, slipped out of the chamber, and waited until the door locked behind me.
I let my feet lead the way towards the swell of noise. I didn’t encounter another soul on my way, but stopped at the end of the corridor opening out onto the castle grounds and peered cautiously around the corner. People weren’t being let into the castle any faster than they had been an hour or two ago, but from a glance, there was less of a crowd outside. Those I’d managed to heal had slipped off in favour of food and drink.
Laus was still there. The other guards were stationed at the doors, but they were further down the corridor. I hurried towards Laus on light feet, tapped them on the shoulder, and rather than draw their sword, they started a little.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
They looked me over. Eden might’ve told them I was her maid, but Laus was smarter than that. I could tell their instincts were good from the way they narrowed their eyes at me.
“What is it?” they asked. “Is everything alright?”
“It’s Lady Hawthorne,” I said. “She won’t tell me what it is, but she wants to talk to you. In her chambers.”
Laus glanced towards the other guards, but before they could catch their attention, I added, “Please. It’s an emergency.”
Laus went with their gut. I ended up following them to Eden’s chambers, and they all but charged into the doors when they didn’t open at their command.
They rattled the handles, and when I said, “It’s me,” Claire unlocked the door from the inside.
Laus marched straight past Claire. A hand went to the hilt of their sword when they didn’t immediately see Eden, and they looked at Claire and me with a warning that didn’t sit right on their face. They were used to patrolling and standing watch, and the only dangers they’d faced were hypothetical ones.
They did not see Claire. Or rather, they saw who they had been told to: a costume maker's daughter, disfigured and there for help.
“Where is Lady Hawthorne?” Laus asked, almost managing to make a demand of it.
“Laus,” Claire said sternly, and even I was taken aback by the way she spoke.
Claire was home, and she was acting like it; she was acting as though she’d already achieved what she’d set out to do.
“I…” Laus started, but abruptly paused. There was a slight shift in their features – the twitch of their lips, the softening of their brow – and their hand fell to their side. “Princess?” they asked carefully.
Pretending that the word did not pass through her ears and into her chest, Claire nodded firmly.
“Princess Claire, I—” Laus didn’t know how to react. Whether they ought to bow or bring their hands to their head. “I had no idea. I apologise, I’m—”
“It’s fine, Laus,” Claire assured them, but they continued to look as though they’d never trust their own eyes again. “And Eden is fine. She’s with her fathers on one of the stages.”
“We need your help. And I’m not a maid,” I added, and Laus’ eyes flashed as if to say I knew it! “Sorry about lying. But we couldn’t just wander in.”
“Of course you could’ve!” Laus said, throwing their hands in the air. “You’re with the Princess.”
It wasn’t the first time Laus had said it, but I couldn’t pair the Princess with Claire in my mind. I had known for years that the Princes of Felheim were her brothers, that its King and Queen were her parents, but before I’d known her as Claire, she’d been Sir Ightham. She’d been a Knight. I had not thought before that, or beyond it.
Claire took the title in her stride and said, “It isn’t so simple, as I’m certain my several-year absence will testify. I have need of your assistance.”
“I… Yes, Your Highness. Of course.”
It was as Claire had said. She’d been gone for years, and now she’d snuck back into the castle. I doubted treason was the first thought that occurred to Laus, but whatever it was certainly wasn’t a soothing one.
“Relax, Laus. All I need is for you to deliver a note to Queen Aren. I should like to meet with her, here. I will ask nothing more of you.”
“O-of course, Your Highness,” Laus repeated, but didn’t sound convinced.
Not that we needed them to be. The more shaken they were upon delivering the news, the more likely it was that Queen Aren would believe Claire was not only alive, but right there in the castle.
Claire helped herself to Eden’s writing supplies. Laus rocked impatiently on the balls of their feet, watching me from the corner of their eye. They wanted to know who I was, since I had never been Eden’s maid, but they knew better than to speak up. Their thoughts were askew, and I could not blame them. They had learnt that their Princess was alive after all these years, before her own mother had.
“Here,” Claire said. Her request was written out far too quickly for Laus’ liking. “Find the Queen. Hand her this, and do not leave until she has read it.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” Laus murmured. They stared at the parchment in their hands before remembering that they actually had to take the next step to do what Claire asked of them.
Claire and I sat in silence. By that point, locking the doors and waiting had become routine. There was absolutely nothing I could say or do to prepare Claire for what came next, and so I kept all my empty platitudes to myself, squeezed her fingers, and gave her all the space she needed.
The time it took Laus to fetch the Queen stretched out the years between us and what had driven Claire out of Thule. There was more to explain than could be told in a month, much less a single afternoon, but I knew that if pushed, Claire would be able to sum it up in a few brief, blunt sentences. I found out the truth. I left. I fought. Kastelir was taken, and I will not allow those left to suffer anymore; I will not allow the same to happen to Felheim.
I watched her mouth half-sentences, seeing eye grey and hazy, like the ocean amidst a storm. Thunder rolled through her as she rehearsed a speech in her mind, but that rumbling would fade to nothing, once she tried giving it a voice. She would be too aware of the way the shape of her mouth had changed, and the way her lips no longer felt the same. Not even against her own words.
As Claire’s thoughts spiralled deeper and deeper inward, she stopped trying to prepare. She never could be prepared. She waited, and her burns became worse. They were more gnarled than ever, as though a knife had been taken to the bark of an oak tree to dig the grooves deeper, deeper. It occurred to me that one ear was almost entirely gone, and the remnants were misshapen and indistinct, as though I had never set eyes on it before.
I saw what should’ve been there. Claire was tormented by the ghost of what no longer was, and I looked away, ashamed. She was as she always was. Just because I could see past it, because I had the luxury of forgetting the extent of it, did not mean that she was afforded the same kindness.
After what couldn’t have been more than a quarter of an hour, the door rattled in its frame. I started and tried to cover it up by rushing to the door and unlocking it. I stepped back, waiting for Queen Aren to make her entrance.
The door swung timidly on its hinges.
“I, um. I apologise, Your Highness,” Laus said, darting in and pressing their back flat against the abruptly closed door. “When I was finally able to speak with Her Majesty, she told me that no tall tale Prince Alexander came up with was going to distract her from the festivities, and that I was to be docked a month’s wages for daring to speak your name. She said I’ll be out of a job, should I ever speak to her again.”
Laus’ face turned red, and the colour crept down their throat. I could not say what was worse: having humiliated theirself in front of their Queen, or the loss of their wages.
“Go again. Take my pendant, and tell the Queen that Claire Aren Ightham will ensure that Liege Metis spends the rest of the festival on her heels, having been told that the Queen personally wishes to speak with them and finance their latest project,” Claire said. It meant as little to Laus as it did to me, and their face paled at the prospect of facing Queen Aren again. I wondered if changing colour so often was healthy. “No matter what Queen Aren says, I will see to it that your wages are paid in triple this month, and personally take you into my service, should you find yourself without a role to fill or in want of a new one.”
Claire became taller as she spoke. She stood with her back straight and her chin lifted, hands clasped behind her. Confidence was at her side, along with a natural ease. I had seen her as a leader, as a Knight, but never a Princess. She seamlessly flitted from one role to another, but was more of herself than ever before.
Convinced that their future was safe in Claire’s hands, Laus left with a salute. Claire did them the favour of not pointing out that their feet were dragging.
I didn’t ask how Claire could pay Laus’ wages, much less employ them. Between the lot of us, we probably had no more money than the average servant had in savings. But had I been in Laus’ place, I expect I would’ve believed that gold flowed like air from royalty, too.
I locked the door again. Claire tilted her head towards me and said, “I do not believe there is anyone on this planet who irritates my mother more than Metis. There are few who know this.”
I nodded. I wanted to say something supportive, but I could only nod.
The next time someone came to Eden’s chambers, there was no questioning who it was. A clatter of footsteps filled the corridor beyond, more than just the Queen’s, more than the Queen and Laus’, and I heard a woman say, “—making a game of this, then I shall take your head along with your job, guard.”
The door rattled. I reached for the key and yanked my hand back when someone kicked it.
“Open up, Hawthorne!” a different woman yelled.
There were two sets of feet kicking the doors, now.
“Cease that at once,” Claire said sharply.
As if no one stood outside, or within any part of the castle, it fell deathly silent. I paid Claire a last glance, but she stared at the door and would not catch my eye. I turned the key, took hold of the handle, and the door swung open on well-oiled hinges.
There were four people in the corridor, forming a sort of diamond. Laus was at the front, held there by the collar of their shirt. It was the sort of gesture I expected from a portside tavern. The two women stood behind Laus were identical to one another, down to the armour they wore. They were Myrosi-looking, with long, wavy hair that reached the small of their backs, and their golden armour was embellished with bits of dragon-bone that were more decorative than practical.
