Dragonoak: Gall and Wormwood, page 38
I squinted at the hole high up in the glass and tugged on Claire’s arm when she couldn’t stop staring at it. She turned my way, shoulders finally relaxing when she realised I wasn’t yet another person demanding the impossible from her.
“Hi,” I said, smiling. “I missed you.”
“Even with Canth to distract you?” she asked.
She did her best to sound playful, but there was something bitter in it.
“Even with Canth to distract me,” I said, slipping my arms around her waist.
She placed her hands against my face, fingers toying with the strands of hair sticking out over my ears.
“I was worried,” she murmured.
“Worried?”
“That you would not return. That you would realise you belonged in Canth and wish to stay there…”
She smiled without meaning it. It hadn’t been a passing concern for her; it had been the truth, for weeks.
“Claire…” I said, pushing myself onto tiptoes to kiss her nose. “I came back when I thought you were dead. Nothing could keep me away, now that I know you’re here.”
Exhaling softly, she pulled me close. I buried my face against her shoulder and wanted nothing more than to stay like that for as long as we both could stand it.
“My first meeting with another Queen and one of my companions tears her wife’s face apart,” she said. She only relieved Haru-Taiki of the blame to hoist it onto her own shoulders. “My first meeting with a pirate and I’m told to remove my leg.”
“The important part is that you’re actually meeting with another Queen, and not because you’re forcing another country to drive itself into debt,” I said. “You and Queen Nasrin are doing things no other rulers have ever thought about doing before. Kondo-Kana, she’s…”
“An outlier?”
“Sure,” I said, deciding it sounded right. “There are a hundred things going on at once! At least a few of them have to go wrong. Queen Nasrin is like… if you and Kidira were Queen at the same time. She might seem tough, and she is, but it’s only because of how much she cares.”
Kissing my forehead, Claire said, “I do not know what I would do without you, Rowan. Or rather, I do, and I did not enjoy it in the least.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I promised her. “Not unless you send me across any more oceans.”
I finally got a smile out of her and considered it a victory. We spent a few more minutes in each other’s arms, not needing to talk about what had happened over the last few weeks straight away, and a knock at the door reminded Claire that she was still a Queen. Her duties were still endless. I reluctantly let go of her on the condition that she was prepared to expect me in her chambers that night, and left with a kiss that would’ve lingered for hours, if not for the increasingly impatient knocking at the door.
In the corridor beyond, Reis hadn’t got far. They walked with an authority that said the castle was theirs as much as Mahon was, which meant that the guards neither questioned their presence nor asked if they needed directions.
“Just who I was looking for,” Reis said when I fell into step next to them. “Big place, this. Not done bad for yourself, kid.”
“Yeah! I mean, I’ve been staying here for a while now, but it felt like… like I was just stopping off in the castle, like I have with so many places, but I guess I live here now. Me! In a castle.”
“With a Queen making eyes at you,” Reis said, immediately reconsidering their choice of words. “Making eye at you. She wouldn’t be a bad pirate. Looks the part.”
Reis’ eagerness to see Kouris manifested somewhere between irritation and nervousness, and I took the most direct route through the castle to her chambers. I wanted to be there to see the look on her face when Reis knocked on her door.
It didn’t take long for someone to stop us in our tracks. Eden, looking as wonderfully cheerful as ever, rounded a corner and almost walked straight into us.
“Rowan! Goodness, it’s lovely to see you back!” she said, eyes bright. “Alex tells me there are Canthians in the castle. It’s all rather exciting.”
“Yep!” I said, as pleased to see her as I was to show Reis off.
I held both hands out towards them, and Eden said, “Oh, I do apologise. I don’t speak Canthian, you see, so…”
“Ain’t a problem,” Reis said, unable to help but grin. “I might be a bit rusty with your tongue, but I’m from around here. Born in this very castle, as it happens.”
“Oh! Oh, yes, sorry, I oughtn’t to have assumed you couldn’t speak Mesomium. And born in this castle! Really!” she said, more flustered than I’d seen her before. “Are you… I do hope you don’t mind me asking, but Rowan’s told me such exciting stories, and I was simply wondering if you are a, that is to say—”
“A pirate?” Reis asked. They let their voice be heard in contrast to the way Eden’s dropped to a whisper.
“… It isn’t a rude question, is it?”
“Nah, you’re good. And I am, as it happens. Technically retired now, though I keep a pirate port in order. Amounts to a whole lot of babysitting. Though don’t go thinking all pirates have got one of these,” they added, tilting their head down towards their wooden leg. “Reis Jones, of Port Mahon.”
“Eden Hawthorne. It’s a pleasure. I must say, you are the most obliging pirate I’ve ever had the good luck of meeting. I expect the two of you have places to be, but should you need a tour of the castle, do let me know,” Eden said. Her smile was warm and sincere, but there was something different about it. I couldn’t place what it was.
“Aye. Reckon I might,” Reis said, tilting their head in a goodbye.
As luck would have it, Kouris was in her chambers. I hadn’t spent much time there, for she preferred the surroundings of Claire’s chambers, and from what I saw through what little of the doorway she didn’t fill, she hadn’t made much of a home of the place.
She grinned at the sight of me, gold eyes flashing like polished coins catching sunlight, and she was halfway to clasping my shoulder when she caught sight of Reis and froze mid-motion.
Her ears twitched. I went forgotten. Reis grunted as Kouris pulled them to her chest and whacked her shin with their cane when she didn’t let go.
“Aye, aye, it’s me, in the flesh,” they said.
“Yrval, one of these days you’re gonna give me a couple of heart attacks,” Kouris said, and stared unblinking at Reis until they finally relented, lips twitching into a smile.
“Guess who stopped by Mahon,” Reis said.
“Who?” Kouris asked, before reading their expression. “… Yeah? How’d that go?”
“Still got my head, don’t I?” Reis asked, shrugging. “Apparently I ain’t doing a bad job. Best she’s seen Mahon in over a century.”
“No kidding. Remember what it was like the first time we went there? Pretty sure the docks were on fire.”
“And the ocean around it.”
As much as I wanted to see Kouris, I knew it was best to give them time alone. I left with a quick squeeze of her hand, and decided there was nothing more for me to do than head for Claire's chambers and wait for her.
I settled into one of the armchairs, closed my eyes and tried to line up all of the scattered pieces. Almost everyone who meant anything to me was in the castle, and with any luck, my father and brother would be with us in a matter of months. Relief washed over me, but it was soon drained away and replaced by the sensation of being tugged in every direction. It was impossible to keep up with everyone, to keep track of who was doing what. I had to take deep breaths and tell myself that it wasn't up to me to shepherd everyone around.
Everyone was perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
What's more, politics were bound to be at the heart of things. I was allowed to sit this round out.
There were other, equally important things for me to focus on. Kondo-Kana and the Bloodless Lands. Haru-Taiki's absence. Claire's health.
I was curled up in Claire’s bed by the time she returned. It was wonderful to let the covers engulf me after the baking, sticky nights spent in Canth, and I buzzed with the warmth of being half asleep. Claire was in a rush, but not in a bad way. I enjoyed the thought that she'd only returned because she knew I'd be there.
She ran her fingers through my hair and crawled into bed next to me.
“Tell me about Canth,” she said, arms wrapping around me.
I did. I rested my head against her chest and heard the ocean waves wash up on the shore as her heart beat steadily against my ear. I told her about Tae and Tizo, Yin Zhou and Ade; Port Mahon and Chandaran; the way the sun felt on my skin, and the sound of water raking across the sand. She told me about the meetings that had eaten into her days in my absence, the murmurs of discontent finding a voice in Thule, and all the other things a Queen spent her days doing.
Paperwork and keeping all the wealthy houses in Thule happy, apparently.
She could've been talking about anything and I would've listened. I stretched out my toes, arms wrapped tightly around her waist, and wanted nothing more than to soak in her voice. Being close to her, taking in so much of her with my eyes closed, was like sitting down to a feast after a lifetime of famine. I kept sighing, content, certain I had all I needed as she ran her fingers through my hair.
“There was something you wanted to ask me,” Claire said.
I'd expected to regret having ever brought it up, to find a hundred reasons why it wasn't a good idea to even mention, but before a yawn could silence me, I said, “I want to stay here. Can I?”
“… In the castle? Why wouldn't you be able to?”
“No,” I said, laughing as I felt her tense with misplaced concern. “Here. With you, in these chambers.”
“You want to move in with me,” Claire said, voice thick with confusion. “… You want to move in with me?”
“Of course I do. I love you, and I had to spend a really, really long time away from you. And now that I'm here, now that we can be together, I don't want to sleep in some other room when I could be with you.”
Claire didn't reply. It wasn't because she was thinking up some way to gently let me down. She'd never made me feel anything short of worthy of her, and I had no reason to doubt how much she loved me, but I knew some part of her thought she was protecting me by keeping me at a distance. I held her tighter, not wanting her to think for a minute that she couldn't give me what I wanted.
She was what I wanted.
“I have no desire to spend my nights in any way other than this,” Claire said softly. “I should like to make up for every minute that was lost between us.”
I fell asleep in her arms. I fell asleep happy.
I awoke to more than Claire's company.
“Did you even knock?” I heard her ask. My face was buried in my pillow and I didn't dare to move. “Or have you already ensured my guards know to bow to your every wish?”
“Both,” Kidira said.
I groaned into the pillow and debated slipping under the covers to bury myself.
“I take it this is important,” Claire said.
The mattress dipped as she shifted into a sitting position.
“If it wasn't, I would've knocked twice,” Kidira hummed. “Akela?”
I turned my head enough to open an eye to look for Akela. From what I could see, she either hadn't woken up much earlier than Claire and I had, or she hadn't slept at all.
“I am not thinking you are wanting to be using that name for me right now,” she said, frowning.
Nothing in the world felt right when she did that.
“Commander?” Claire asked, voice terse.
“The soldiers that are visiting, the ones that are making their demands and saying that Rylan, he is being King, they are not lying. They are not lying about the part where Rylan is sending an army, no. We are receiving the first report this morning.”
“How many?”
“More than we are having.”
When no one spoke, I pushed myself up and flopped on my back. An army was making their way towards us and the people best equipped to save us were staring at each other, utterly mute.
“What do we do now? You've been working with the army, right?” I said, dragging them out of their thoughts.
“I am working with them, but there is only so much even I am being able to do. If you are giving me a single egg and a stick of butter and saying Akela, you are baking a cake, it does not matter how good I am at baking! You are not getting a cake. It is the same here,” Akela said, rubbing her chin. “The best we are doing is recruiting. If we are pulling more people from around Thule, around all of Felheim, then perhaps we are looking as though we are having the numbers to be putting up a fight.”
“We have the resources. If we let Rylan come to us, he will arrive with an exhausted army and dwindling supplies and morale alike,” Kidira said. “Geographically, we have the advantage.”
“And numerically, he does. Keeping our soldiers full won't mean a thing if we're outnumbered ten-to-one by Rylan and Agados both, no matter how hungry his army is,” Claire said.
“Speaking of being hungry,” Akela said. “My stomach, it is growling. I am sure you are hearing this, it is embarrassing, yes, yes, but I am not thinking if I am not taking care of myself first.”
Claire and Kidira said nothing, which counted as an agreement. I watched the matter drop from the moment, if not their minds, and sat there swamped in blankets, staring.
Kidira and Akela had brought us the news that an army was approaching, and now they were planning breakfast in their heads.
“Um,” I said, clear and concise. “There's an army coming. Everyone seems kind of... calm?”
Akela stepped over to the side of the bed and crouched by me.
“You are remembering when it is the last time, and the castle is thinking there is an army at their gates? And how I am saying that our scouts, they are spotting them a long time before they are reaching Felheim? We are needing to plan for this immediately, yes, but they are not arriving for weeks. It is being a month, even!”
“Why did you rush in here, then?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.
Akela leant closer, and in an exaggerated whisper, said, “Secretly, Kidira, she is liking all of this drama.”
Having learnt not to take the bait long ago, Kidira glanced between Claire and me and said, “If you aren't too busy, we shall reconvene within the hour.”
Claire assured her that we would be prompt, and Kidira left without another word. But not before looking at me pointedly; not as though she'd missed me, but rather as though it only now occurred to her to acknowledge my absence.
Before leaving, Akela said, “Also, I am welcoming you back, Northwood! You are returning from Canth and you are bringing friends with you. Varn, she is happy to see me! I am not seeing anyone who is turning so red so quickly before. You are telling me all about it later, yes? Ah, it is a shame that Tae and Tizo, they are not coming also! They are missing me, though, I am certain of this.”
She left with a grin that made her look much more herself, and ruffled my hair as she sprang to her feet.
I didn't look at Claire because I didn't know what to say. Sorry there's an army headed our way didn't convey the sentiment, and sorry there's an army being led by your brother heading to your castle to challenge your right to the throne was too much of a mouthful.
I got out of bed, realised I had nothing to change into, and headed back to the chambers that were no longer mine to scoop up armfuls of clothing. Sen was there by the time I returned, helping Claire to her feet and into an outfit for the day, and she spared a moment to smile warmly at me.
It'd only been a matter of weeks but there was so much for me to catch up on. I had no idea how Sen was progressing with her work on reclaiming the pane's stolen land and what Akela's duties as Commander consisted of, and I hadn't even spoken to Kouris; yet things were being thrown forward, and I had no choice but to move with them.
I’d find time to catch up later.
“I don't think I'm going to be of much use here,” I told Claire, once I'd shrugged my way into something vaguely unrumpled. “I want to find Kouris. She might not know what's happening. What's going to happen. Are you going to be alright?”
Claire had a glass of water in one hand and papers in another. She wasn't wasting a minute.
“Honestly, I'm somewhat relieved,” she said, though she didn't look it. “At least I know something is happening. I no longer have to guess. The sooner he arrives...”
“The sooner it's all over?” I asked.
She nodded, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and said, “Bring the remainder of your things over, should you find the time.”
I headed straight for Kouris' chamber. If news of the impending army hadn't reached her yet, it would soon. I had to make the most of what little time I could steal with her.
I walked with an uncomfortable weight in the pit of my stomach. One moment the castle walls around me represented the safety of home, and the next they were nothing but stone. How comfortable I felt within its corridors and chambers would not stop an army from flooding them.
It was just hunger, I told myself. Hunger and a rude awakening. I'd make sense of this, once I'd eaten. Once I'd spoken to Kouris.
There were none who could say she didn't understand the battlefield.
Her chamber door was ajar. It was located in a quiet part of the castle, where Aren had supposed they could make space to house a pane, and with the corridor to myself, I could hear voices drifting into the air. I assumed it was Reis and that they'd either never left or just returned, but their rough, Canthian accent was nowhere to be heard.
“Soon we will be at war again.”
It was Kidira.
I didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation, but I didn't want to immediately retreat, either. I leant against the wall and stared at the wallpaper as I half-heartedly willed myself not to listen.
“Aye. But I'm not a Commander,” Kouris replied.
“Indeed you are not,” Kidira said. “But you have led armies before. You have united them. You understand what must be sacrificed to win a war.”
