Dragonoak: Gall and Wormwood, page 10
The next few days were a blur. I stuck close to Claire's side, though her mother did not mask her disapproval, and met all the advisors she did, endured dozens upon dozens of reunions with nobles she barely remembered, or no longer mattered, and learnt more about the running of a Kingdom than I'd thought possible to know.
Allocations were given. Allowances were made. The resistance were forgiven for all imagined crimes, which did nothing to stop Queen Aren from referring to them as rebels. When I caught Kidira's eye in one of the hundred meetings we attended, for once we were of the same mind.
Neither of us warmed to Queen Aren, and Kidira did a better job of being subtle or indifferent than I did. Still, I tried not to let my gut feeling cloud my judgement. The past years had not been easy on Queen Aren. Not only had two of her children been lost to her, but she had been left to run an entire Kingdom while her husband lay dying.
And had we been able to see the King, I would've put all of my misgivings behind me.
On the day of our arrival, there was too much confusion to set straight and too many weighty reunions for it to occur to Claire that there were others waiting for her. On the second day, half of the Kingdom knew that she had returned, and there were meetings to attend by the dozen. I barely got to see her for more than a minute at a time, and didn't manage to get out more than a hi.
On the third day, after Queen Aren reluctantly let me sit in on a meeting wherein she spent three gruelling hours explaining the country's financial state, Mansels looming behind her, Claire outright asked to see her father. She was told that he had taken a turn for the worse during the night, and that she ought to wait for the morning.
The next day came. The King was still poorly; too poorly to receive visitors, lest he take yet another turn for the worse. According to Alex, he had been allowed to visit his father near enough every day. He had been encouraged, even, in light of his rapidly declining health.
“I could find him,” I muttered out loud, and not for the first time. “If he's got healer's bane, it won't take me long to... to feel him.”
Kidira shook her head.
“We need to play by Queen Aren's rules,” she said. “But do not misinterpret the situation: it is balanced in our favour.”
“It is?” I asked sceptically.
Kidira, Kouris and I were sat in a corridor, being warily eyed by guards. For all there was to do, we were bored to tears. No matter how close we tried to stick to Claire, her mother inevitably found some reason for the two of them to discuss things alone, as though Felheim's situation was far from dire and she could not benefit from the guidance of two former Queens.
“If King Garland would not take Claire's side, why would Queen Aren attempt to keep them from one another? Queen Aren is Queen Consort; she only holds the power she does now because the King is not capable of ruling as he ought to. Claire was next in line to the throne, and I expect her father wishes to honour that.”
“After she ran away?” Kouris asked.
“What other choice does he have? Rylan would burn Felheim to the ground if an advisor didn't agree with him and Prince Alexander is not fit to rule. By his own admission.”
A gust of wind uncovered the sun from heavy clouds, and the flash of light through the stained glass played tricks on my eyes. It almost looked as though Kidira was smiling.
Of an evening, we gathered in Claire's chambers. She told us everything Queen Aren had not let us overhear, but it didn't prove to be much of an advantage. Queen Aren knew that Claire would share the information, and had made herself immune to it; it had all happened in the past, and no one could argue against her points. Her opinions had settled into facts and her plans were already underway.
“I am thinking that soon, we are going back to our old invasion plan, yes?” Akela said with a sigh on the fifth evening, when talking in circles left us more bored than dizzy.
“They already know we're here. They're prepared for us,” Claire said.
I was sat next to her, while Kouris claimed the other half of the sofa for herself. Sen and Akela filled their respective armchairs, while Eden had taken a seat next to Kidira. No matter how our surroundings changed, our circumstances had not. Felheim was against us, and we only had a handful of people we could trust. Orinhal had been taken, and the only hope we had was one that no one wished to speak of.
If the King died, the balance would tip in our favour.
“We are letting them come,” Akela said, slouching in her seat with an exaggerated yawn. “The Queen, she is not having as much of an army left as she is claiming. I am finishing what is left, and then we are letting Claire be Queen. And maybe Kidira and Kouris, they are being Queens again, too. Maybe I am being a Queen. I am thinking I would like that.”
“We’ll call that Plan B,” Eden said.
“Ah. You are forgiving me, yes. I am not meaning to suggest that you are not also making a fine Queen.”
Eden laughed warmly and said, “We'd end up bickering over who got to wear the crown, and we'd only be left with a hundred new problems.”
Akela grinned, and Kidira knitted her fingers together in a way that meant her patience was wearing thin. Not missing the gesture to return to more serious matters, Claire took the lead.
“From what Queen Aren has told me, I believe that her concern for Felheim is genuine. However, that concern manifests itself in the form of protecting Felheim from the strife we have caused the former Kastelir. She does not wish to help refugees or make reparations so much as she wishes to build the wall between the lands stronger and taller. Both metaphorically and otherwise,” she said. “The dragons will not be reinstated, that much I have ensured. If only because it is now a strategical nightmare, and far from practical. They no longer have a necromancer, Rylan has taken the last of the dragons, and it is not much of a secret.”
I'd heard it all before. So had everyone in the room. Still, we listened intently, as though something would flare in our minds that hadn't before. As though it would suddenly become so obvious, and Claire would be able to sort out the mess by employing reason alone.
“And Agados? What of them?” Akela asked. Everyone but Eden straightened in their seats. “Rylan, he is getting into trouble with Agados, that is what we are assuming. But Claire's mother, she is needing her help, yes? So we are knowing how Agados, how they are involving themselves in this yet?”
“When pushed on the matter, Queen Aren tells me not to worry about it. Agados has spent centuries keeping to themselves, and are unlikely to crawl over their wall for the sort of squabble we have got into with the former Kastelir,” Claire said, pausing to frown. “But it is troubling. We have more resources and raw gold than I would have expected. I have not been given access to the account books, but I would not be surprised if Thule has benefitted from one of Rylan's alliances with Agados. Even if it was years ago, before my mother understood where it was coming from.”
Everyone sat in silence, lips pursed together. Knowledge was of little use when it couldn't be translated into action, or be used to thread mismatched parts of a plot together. We didn't even have a scrap of a plan. We were stagnating, all momentum lost to us.
“Why don't we go to Agados?” I said. I hadn't intended to, and the words slipped past my lips with little forethought on my part. “Ask them what's going on, if Queen Aren won't tell us.”
The others stared at me as though I'd asked them to march into the Bloodless Lands with their eyes wide open. It wasn't until then that I took it seriously. I'd seen lands both living and not quite dead, and no matter how we spoke of Agados as a Kingdom shrouded by its own shadow, I knew there had to be more to it. I knew that not every person there could be cruel and twisted.
It wasn't the unsettling white of the Bloodless Lands. It was made of the same things that Felheim and Canth were: dirt and sand and flowing water, day and night and restless hours in between, and thousands of people. Millions. All of them different, none of them cut from the same cloth, no matter what Agados wished for its citizens.
Agados was awful. It was not to be allied with. I knew this because I had been told.
And it was not that I didn't trust Claire and Kidira in such matters, and I knew that Akela's word was the honest truth, but I thought: Agados gave us Akela. As terrible as it was, it had not bent or broken her. She was strong and kind and honest, and had more heart than anyone else in the world, including those who had two.
And maybe, just maybe, there was someone else in Agados worth half of what she was. Maybe they'd listen.
“I could take Oak across the territories,” I said, eager to stitch together a plan before Kidira could tell me, in detail, why going to Agados would never work. “I could go the rest of the way on foot, or horseback – do they have horses in Agados? – and go to the capital. All I'd have to do is deliver a letter. I might even find out something about Rylan on the way.”
I expected a chorus of no, no, no, but they only continued to stare at me. Had Haru-Taiki not been keeping Alex company, he would've spontaneously understood every word I was saying and stared at me, too.
“If we are going to Agados, then I—” Akela began, faltering.
Kidira cut her off, abrupt and blunt and unspeakably kind.
“You'd have no reason to go,” she said dismissively. “It makes far more sense for you to stay here, where you might protect Claire, should the worst happen. Not to mention the fact that I speak Agadian well enough.”
Akela dug her fingers into the arms of her chair. Next to me, Claire shook her head.
“Absolutely not,” she said. “There is nothing to be gained from it.”
“Except answers,” Kouris said. “Come on, Claire. You don't reckon that they ain't involved in all of this, do you? If we're taking an excursion to Agados then aye, I'm coming.”
Claire frowned, but said nothing. It was taking her time to conjure excuses.
“They are not having pane in Agados,” Akela muttered, rubbing her hands against her face. “If you are going, you are standing out. And they are having a problem with anyone who is standing out, I am telling you this.”
“It'll be dangerous,” Claire eventually offered.
“I'm dangerous!” I said, holding my arms out. “And not just to other people. To myself. Living in my village was dangerous. Running away was dangerous. And what happens when Queen Aren realises I'm a necromancer? You didn't see what she'd done to the last one, Claire... And she will find out. This castle is full of healers! I can't avoid them forever. It's only a matter of time before they figure it out.”
Everyone else looked as though they very much didn't want to be there. It was a conversation Claire and I should've been having in private, because it was about so much more than whether I should stay or go. If we were alone, I might've said more. I might've told her that I wasn't the person I'd been all those years ago when she'd let me run away with her. I wasn't clueless. I understood how the world worked and all the things that people could and would do to me, given half a chance. I had seen a Kingdom crumble and I had marched a man's corpse towards a blade and carried his head like a prize.
I was glad I couldn't bring myself to say any of that, because it wouldn't have been fair. Claire didn't need reminding of the years we'd spent apart, or the ways I'd been forced to change without her. I didn't want to give the distance between us any more weight.
After an uncomfortable moment, Claire said, “There is some merit in it. There are no written rules about Agados being closed off to visiting foreigners. And if Kidira were to go as a representative of the former Kastelir...”
“I'll go,” Eden said. “I can represent Felheim, can't I? I have connections enough to the court, and roots within the royal family.”
Claire pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Oh, come now,” Eden said, pre-empting another round of it's dangerous. “You taught me swordplay a decade ago, and I grew up in one of the least glamorous neighbourhoods in Thule. I've seen worse in alleyways than I likely will in Agados.”
Sighing, Claire said, “I shall think about it.”
It didn’t feel like much of a victory at all.
I found Claire’s hand and squeezed it. She may have had a talent for leadership and a head for politics, but it wasn’t where she belonged. Years ago, she’d had no choice but to march into Kastelir, and I knew that she’d head into the heart of Agados, if that was what needed to be done.
It wasn’t that she didn’t think going to Agados was the next logical step. It was that she felt compelled to be there, to protect us as she once believed she’d protected Felheim, but could not.
The others made their gradual departures. Eden left first, more at ease in the castle than the rest of us. She crossed the room, squeezed Claire’s shoulder, and gave her a look that meant nothing less than You know it’s the right thing to do. Claire bid her goodnight, and Kouris followed her lead.
We had all been given chambers of our own, and they all came with guards stationed at the door. There were plenty outside of Claire’s rooms, too, and they were all under strict orders to follow us around the castle. For our own safety, of course. To ensure that we got where we were going, naturally.
Akela and Kidira went next. Akela had been in a trance since Agados had been brought up. Her expression was frighteningly blank – she did not look like herself without a grin on her face – but I knew her mind was anything but empty. I remembered the past she had shared with me on that boat in Canth and wished I’d never uttered the country’s name.
Kidira placed a hand on her shoulder, caught her eye, and Akela followed her without a goodnight. Kidira kept a hand rested lightly between Akela’s shoulder blades and said goodnight with a few sharp nods.
Sen stayed for longer. She didn’t fuss over Claire, as I thought she might, but instead remained in her chair and read. I think her presence was enough to keep Claire calm, though it couldn’t be said that any force on Bosma could soothe her, after the last few days. Bit by bit, Claire left the solitude of her thoughts, stopped thinking in terms of strategy and politics and finances, and smiled softly down at me.
Sen left shortly after, all sleepy goodnights and hugs from on high.
The guards would tell Queen Aren that I hadn’t returned to the chambers she had pointedly set aside for me, but it was hard to care when I could stretch out and curl up against Claire’s side. She draped an arm around me, idly ran her fingers through my hair, and I let myself imagine what it would be like, if she were Queen.
If the castle was full of our friends and allies, and the cracks history had worn into the territories and Rylan had reopened were healed. It could be like this, every night. The only real danger in my life would be that of falling asleep on the sofa while the fire bloomed in the hearth in front of us, fighting back the long Felheimish winters. There would be problems to deal with, new issues to address every day, but they would be as nothing, compared to this.
Compared to the way that the harder we tried, the more things crumbled around us.
“Your mother doesn’t like me,” I said, burrowing my face in the curve of her shoulder.
“My mother likes few people,” she replied. “It took her months to begin to warm to Eden.”
I didn’t reply. The conversation didn’t go anywhere. There was too much to focus on, too much to fret about, even when we were alone.
“I could help him,” I murmured into her neck. “Your father. I could heal him. I know you came here to take the throne, and that it wouldn’t help us, but I could get rid of his disease. If you want me to. Then he’d be in control, instead of Queen Aren…”
“It is tempting indeed to think of him as the lesser of two evils, or even an ally,” she said, absentmindedly drawing circles on my back. “But he has ruled this Kingdom for decades, and not once did he have any qualms about what he was doing to the people therein. About what he was doing to the necromancer, Iseul. Were he in good health, he would not change his ways. Even if he is not set in them, he will not abandon them and admit that he was wrong, after all.
“He will use Rylan as an example. He will say that he is the true danger, the real evil in Felheim. But Rylan is only following in his footsteps, and has likely been responsible for less damage these past few years than my family has these last centuries. Besides: they had Iseul. Had my father wanted a cure, he would’ve seized it when my mother did. But he is proud, and he is looking for an easy way out of this.”
My heart sunk. I pried myself free from Claire’s gentle grasp, leant over her, and pressed my forehead to hers.
“Hey. Claire. I love you,” I whispered. “I love you, and we’re going to fix this.”
The corner of her mouth quirked into the start of a smile she was not entirely numb to.
“Are we?”
“We are. You’re going to stay here, and you’re going to speak with your father. Felheim will be yours, Claire, because you’re the only one who understands what it’s going through, and that we have to help our neighbours, too. The people will be behind you. They already are! It’s not even been a week and already everyone’s talking about how the phoenix chose you,” I said, kissed her forehead, and paused. “And I’m going to Agados. I’m going to find out what’s happening between them and Rylan. Between them and Felheim. I’m going to see if they really are using a necromancer, and I’m going to make sure they don’t dare to come after us.”
“You’re going to Agados,” Claire said softly.
It wasn’t a question, but I nodded. I was going to Agados, and I was going to make sure that Akela never succumbed to that horrible blankness ever again. I was going to do so much and I was going to go so far, but for now, all I could think of was sleep. Determination alone wasn’t enough to keep my eyes open.
