The Women of Mulberry Lane, page 15
‘Well, it’s your house – they were just usin’ it while you were away,’ Maureen said. ‘I think it’s a good thing you came home on leave, Jack.’
‘Yes, well, I know that, but I don’t want to take advantage. I’ll see what Rose thinks about the idea. I’ve got a couple of weeks leave – so I’ll be seein’ you around. Get off home to your family, Maureen – and you’ve got the pub to run, Janet.’
‘Thanks,’ Janet smiled at him. ‘You’ll soon have this place warmed up – it was silly letting the range go out like this…’
‘It’s a wonder we haven’t had a burst pipe,’ Jack said. ‘Good thing I’m here – just in case…’
Janet and Maureen left together. They talked for a couple of minutes and then parted – Janet back to the bar and Maureen to her home.
Sheila looked at Janet as she went back to the bar. ‘You weren’t long?’
‘The doctor is sending for an ambulance. Rose is off to hospital – and Jack Barton is there. He has the range goin’ and it’s a good thing – another day of this bitter weather and the pipes could freeze and burst.’
‘Well, at least Rose will be looked after in hospital.’
‘Mum wanted her to stay here, but she wouldn’t…’
‘She wasn’t thinking clearly. The doctors will sort her out…’
Janet nodded but she was still concerned. There had been enough deaths in the lane without Rose too.
*
Rose looked weakly up at the doctor standing by her bed. He was an older man with grey hair and kind eyes, his white coat slightly crumpled and hanging open.
‘Decided to come back to us, have you, Rose?’ Doctor Sheldon said and smiled at her.
‘Where am I?’
‘You’re in the London – and you’re lucky to be alive, my girl. Had your friends not looked out for you, you would have died of the cold.’
‘They should have left me…’
‘Now that is selfish rubbish,’ the doctor said and frowned at her. ‘What about all the folk that care for you?’
‘I’ve got no one left – my fiancé has been killed – and there’s no one else.’
‘You have friends who care, because we’ve had people wanting to visit – and you’re young. Thousands of young women have lost their men, Rose. I’ve lost two sons – but if we all lay down and died what good would that do?’
Rose shook her head weakly. She felt too tired and miserable to argue. She wished she had died and no one had found her, but she should have known that wouldn’t happen, living in the lanes. She was vaguely aware that Maureen had found her and that had been inevitable when she hadn’t turned up for work.
‘You should think of all those with terminal illnesses and men who have been wounded and are fighting to live,’ Doctor Sheldon said. ‘Don’t make me wish I hadn’t wasted time and money on saving your life, Rose.’
Rose felt the tears trickling down her cheeks as he walked away. She knew she wasn’t the only one to suffer, but that didn’t stop her grief and regret. Her life was over and she didn’t want to carry on – but other people wouldn’t leave her alone.
Over the next few days, Rose was prodded, given injections, visited by doctors, psychiatrists and a vicar, and subjected to lectures by Sister and a succession of nurses.
‘We’ve got more to do than look after a self-pitying girl who doesn’t know how lucky she is to have caring friends,’ Sister told her when she’d been in the hospital for a week. ‘I’ve had three calls this morning and goodness knows how many since you’ve been here. You are a very lucky girl.’
Rose didn’t answer. She didn’t feel lucky, but she did feel ashamed, because she could see so many patients who were really ill and she felt a fraud for taking the nurses’ time, and so she started to eat her meals.
After a couple of days or so the doctor came back and looked at her. ‘Are you going to be sensible if we send you home?’
‘Yes, doctor,’ Rose said meekly. ‘I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble.’
‘You were ill when you came in but lucky not to have pneumonia. If your friend hadn’t acted promptly you would be dead…’
‘Yes, I know, and I’m grateful.’
‘Mrs Hart is coming to fetch you home at two this afternoon,’ he told her. ‘She sounds a sensible young woman and she’s promised that your friends will keep an eye on you – and so you may go…’
‘Thank you,’ Rose said, humbled. ‘I know you think me foolish…’ She had been foolish, but at the time her misery had been more than she could bear.
‘You had cause,’ he said, ‘but so have most of us these days, my dear – at least you have another chance.’
Rose thanked him and he went away. She got up, visited the bathroom and then the nurses brought her clothes. Dressing, Rose felt a little shaky but resolved not to let it show. She’d been here long enough and didn’t want to stay for more lectures.
Maureen arrived at a quarter to two. Rose had her medicines in a paper bag, though she had no intention of taking any of them once she got home… if she even had a home. Jimmy had paid the rent and she knew she couldn’t afford to keep the house on alone.
A lump was in her throat but she said nothing to Maureen. She knew there was no room for her in Maureen’s house. Rose would have to look for accommodation.
‘Jack has the house warm,’ Maureen said as she drove away from the hospital and into the traffic. ‘He has paid the rent and he says he will be responsible for it now. He’ll tell you what arrangements he considers fair himself – but don’t worry, Rose. We’ll all help out one way or another.’
‘He’s kinder than I deserve but I’m grateful. I didn’t know what I was going to do…’
‘Jack knows Tom cares about you – we all do, Rose. None of us will just abandon you.’
‘I’d have died if you hadn’t called the doctor,’ Rose said and looked at her awkwardly. ‘Thanks, Maureen. I know I was stupid, but I just felt so miserable.’
‘Anyone would in your shoes,’ Maureen said and gave her an understanding glance. ‘I’m still tryin’ to come to terms with losin’ Robin. We all know what you’re goin’ through, Rose – but Jimmy wouldn’t want you to kill yourself.’
‘No…’ Rose accepted it, though she still felt the pain in her heart. ‘I know – but it’s so hard, Maureen.’
‘Yes, losing someone always is. People say it will get better. I’m not sure it does – perhaps we just get better at copin’ with the pain, Rose. I have to make myself do things – but I have the children, Gordon, and Gran. I know it’s even worse for you.’
‘I just felt so alone. I couldn’t face getting up to light the fire, so I stayed in bed and it got so cold…’
‘Well, Jack has the house warm for you.’ Maureen hesitated. ‘Mavis might take you in again, Rose, if that’s what you’d rather…’
‘I don’t know…’ The van was slowing down outside the house. ‘Will you come in please?’
‘Yes, of course.’
Maureen followed her in. Jack was just pouring boiling water into the teapot. He had milk and three cups on the table as well as some sugar lumps.
‘That looks good, Jack,’ Maureen said.
‘I didn’t want Rose comin’ back to an empty house,’ he said and looked sympathetically at her. ‘My Tom thinks a lot of you, girl. He would expect me to look after yer – and I shall until I go back. No need to worry about rent. I’ve taken care of that – and I can stay with a mate, but I’ll look in each day to make sure you’re managing, until I go back.’
‘You could stay here in Tom’s room,’ Rose said. ‘I told him he could but he stayed with Peggy…’
‘Yes, she told me. I suppose he thought it might not look good – but I’m old enough to be yer dad, girl.’
‘I wish you were,’ Rose said and smiled through her tears. ‘Sorry – it’s just that you’re all so kind…’
‘Folk are like that round ’ere, most of ’em,’ he said and grinned. ‘Right, I’m off for some fish and chips – what about you, lass?’
‘Yes, please,’ Rose said and smiled. ‘Hospital food is awful…’
‘Usually is,’ Jack agreed and drank his tea down in one go. ‘I’ll leave you to settle in then – warm the plates, Rose girl. I shan’t be long…’
Rose smiled wanly as he left. ‘He’s just like Tom,’ she said and looked at Maureen. ‘I’ll be all right now, Maureen. I’ll come back to work tomorrow – if you still want me?’
‘Of course we do,’ Maureen said. Rose had put two plates into the range oven to warm and she took vinegar and salt from the cupboard. ‘Shall I wash the cups before I go?’
‘I can do them, thanks,’ Rose said. ‘Don’t look so anxious, Maureen. The nurses told me off so many times that I don’t dare do anything silly again. They’ve given me pills to take to cheer me up, but I don’t want to rely on them. If I try I’ll get better without stuff to pick me up.’
‘Sensible girl.’ Maureen laughed and kissed her cheek. ‘We nurses are taught not to show pity, but I know the matter-of-fact tone can sound harsh.’
‘I deserved it,’ Rose said. ‘They had so much to do – and there were lots of people who were really ill.’
‘Well, you know where I am if you need me…’
Maureen took her leave and Rose sighed. People were kind and she’d come through the desperate stage, but she knew that it would take months before she would stop thinking of Jimmy and longing for him to walk through that door…
11
Peggy looked lovingly at Able as they boarded the train taking them back to London. He’d been torn between using the train and borrowing a car from one of his friends, but to drive one-handed, he needed an automatic and only one of his friends had a suitable vehicle, which wasn’t available, so they’d taken the train and taxis.
‘I’ll have to get my own car,’ Able told Peggy as they managed to find a seat in a crowded carriage. ‘I know what I need, but there aren’t many in the country. Jake Peacock, he’s one of the office staff back at base, has one and he might sell it…’
Peggy smiled and nodded. She knew it must irk Able that he had only one arm that was fully functioning, though he used his stump to lodge things against and there wasn’t much he couldn’t manage, but changing gear might prove too difficult, so he’d decided he needed an automatic. He’d used a suitable vehicle in America and knew he could manage it.
‘I’ll get help with this arm when they can fit the stump,’ he told her. ‘The surgeon said it was best to wait until the skin has hardened before fitting my new arm, but I wish they’d get a move on with it.’
‘I know it can cause more trouble if it’s done too soon,’ Peggy said, because she’d spoken to many injured soldiers who had lost limbs in the past months. ‘We had one particular customer who had his leg fitted too soon and it caused him a lot of pain.’
‘Well, I’ve been told another three months,’ Able said. ‘That means, if we want to use the cottage regularly, we need a car and it has to be something I can drive…’
‘I didn’t mind the train,’ Peggy said. ‘It was lovely being down there, Able. Thank you for taking me – and for buying it for us.’
‘I knew you loved it and so do I,’ Able said. ‘What did you think of that place we passed that was for sale?’
‘Do you mean the small hotel near the beach?’ she asked and he nodded. ‘It looked lovely – but I should think it would cost more than we have…’
‘Maybe…’ Able looked thoughtful. ‘I might find the money – if it was somewhere you could be happy?’
‘I’ll be happy anywhere with you.’ She smiled at him lovingly.
‘Yes, but you have lots of friends in the lanes,’ Able said, looking at her seriously now. ‘You have to be sure, hon. It’s your life. I don’t want to take you away from all you know if it will make you unhappy.’
‘Let’s think about it,’ Peggy said. ‘I’ve had a wonderful few days and we’ve got the cottage whatever happens – but perhaps we could look round next time we come down?’
‘Sure thing, hon. I’ll ring the agent and ask the price, and how long it has been for sale, and then we’ll decide after we view it…’
‘Yes, we have plenty of time…’ She smiled at him lovingly, because to be honest just being with him made her happy.
*
‘Rose is back from hospital all right?’ Peggy looked at Janet with a frown as she told her the news. ‘Thank goodness it wasn’t worse. She shouldn’t have neglected herself like that…’ She sighed. ‘I knew I should’ve made her stay here for a few days…’
‘Rose is old enough to look after herself,’ Janet said. ‘You’re not her keeper, Mum. You take on everyone’s troubles and it’s time you thought of yourself more…’
‘Yes, perhaps you’re right, but I’ll go over and see her now she’s home,’ Peggy replied and laughed ruefully. ‘I certainly enjoyed our time in the country – though I’m not certain I’d want to live there all the time… I think I might miss the hustle and bustle of London… there’s always something going on here.’
‘Are you thinking of moving to the country?’ Janet’s surprise showed in her face.
‘We saw a place we liked, but we haven’t been inside yet…’ Peggy shook her head. ‘No, it needs a lot of thinking about. Able doesn’t mind where we live as long as I’m happy. I shan’t do anything for a while. Janet’s wedding is a couple of weeks off and I want to make sure Pip is settled before I make any decisions. Able will go along with what I decide.’
‘That is because he loves you,’ Janet said and kissed her cheek. ‘I’m so glad, Mum. I shall be content knowing you’ve got Able…’
Peggy nodded. ‘I’m going to ring Maureen and ask her about Rose before I pop over…’
‘No doubt Maureen will keep an eye on her now she is back.’
‘I’ll keep an eye on her too. I feel some responsibility for her, Jan. She worked for me when she first came to the lanes, and she met Jimmy in the pub…’
‘Go and see her then. I know you won’t rest until you do.’
*
Peggy and Maureen were not the only ones to call in and make sure Rose was managing over the next few days. Alice took her a plate pie round and told her she was sorry she hadn’t looked in on her before.
‘If I ’adn’t got a lodger, I’d have taken you in, love,’ Alice said and looked at her sadly. ‘This business has hit you ’ard. I lost my old man because of the last Great War. We thought that was the war to end all wars, but it ’as all ’appened again and it’s the women who suffer the grief of losin’ their men or seein’ them wounded and dyin’…’
Rose knew she was being kind but wished she would go away. All her neighbours called, but it was Jack Barton who kept her spirits up. He fetched out some old photos of his wife and sons. Rose had heard about Sam, who’d died on a bomb site in the early years of the war, but she enjoyed hearing Jack’s stories and looking at pictures of Tom as a baby.
‘We didn’t have any photographs these past years,’ Jack said. ‘I got into a bit of trouble and ended up behind bars. Maud never forgave me for that and I reckon that’s what started her trouble off… though the doctors said she was ill and in the end it was a blessin’ that she went.’
‘I’m sorry for your loss, Jack. It must have been hard for you and for Tom – losing your son and then your wife.’
‘Tom took the loss of his brother hard,’ Jack said and a nerve flicked in his cheek. ‘I blamed myself, but it all fell on Tom’s shoulders because I wasn’t here when Sam was at the awkward stage. If I’d been ’ere he would never been on that site. I’d have made sure of that…’
Rose was sorry when Jack had to return to his posting. Of all her visitors he was the one she’d felt most comfortable with, but she was back at work and knew she had to get on with her life. Jimmy had gone and she didn’t believe in miracles, even though she knew of people who had been reported missing and then returned from the dead. Rose knew for certain that the man she loved was dead. She could feel it inside and it left her empty.
When the letter came in his handwriting, she knew what it would contain before she opened it. Jimmy had said goodbye. He told her that he loved her and that he hadn’t wanted to cancel their wedding.
I’m sorry, love. I never meant to hurt you, Rose. It was wrong of me to snatch at happiness at your expense and I don’t blame you if you hate me for what I’ve done. I always knew that one day I wouldn’t come back. Forgive me for being selfish and ruining your life. I’d give anything to be with you, holding you and loving you, but you should forget me and move on with your life.
There was never anyone for me but you…Jimmy.
Rose sat staring at his letter until the lines blurred. He’d left a letter with his CO asking for his personal things to come to her and she wished he hadn’t. She knew she would just put them away and not look at them. In a fit of temper she crumpled his letter into a ball and threw it into the fire, watching as it turned brown and then burst into flames and then she wept.
He had no right to send letters like that because it hurt too much to read them. Why had he ever come into her life? Rose was angry and grief-stricken in turn and then she j curled up into a ball on the floor in front of the fire and slept.
When she woke, she was stiff and her shoulder ached where she’d lain on it, but she discovered that she was hungry. She went to the pantry, but there was nothing there, because she hadn’t bothered to shop. The pub would be open for the evening now and she decided to see what Peggy was offering.
Rose washed her face in cold water and ran a comb through her hair. Jimmy had liked it long, but she thought she would make an appointment and have it cut on her day off. She had no one to please but herself now and it just made her think of Jimmy running his fingers through it…
*
Peggy served Rose with some of her winter salad and a portion of shepherd’s pie, which was more vegetables with a sniff of meat and gravy to make it tasty. Rose took it to her table and ate it all, and then drank the glass of fizzy orange that Peggy had given her.
