The Women of Mulberry Lane, page 11
Gordon kissed her hair. ‘I know – and one day you’ll remember him, all his ways and his smile, without tears, love. Until then, we just have to do the best we can.’
‘Yes, I know…’ Maureen sat there for a long time and then she felt sleepy. She hadn’t slept properly since Shirley was ill.
Gordon slipped away when she curled up on the bed. He went next door and saw that his son was also fast asleep. Shirley was sitting by Gordon Junior’s bed. He put a finger to his lips and smiled.
‘Your mum is asleep, love. It will do her good. Let’s go downstairs quietly and leave her to rest…’
*
It was dark when Maureen woke. She thought it must be well past teatime and started up, but Gordon put out a hand to steady her.
‘Nothing to worry about, love. Shirley gave Gordy a bottle and I made some tea for Gran.’ He smiled as she raised her brows. ‘That’s Shirley’s pet name for him. We all had a bit of cake and a paste sandwich. You don’t have to do anything.’
‘I’ll just check on little Gordon,’ Maureen said and went through to her son’s bedroom. He was sleeping peacefully and she resisted the urge to pick him up and make sure he was breathing. For a moment she watched him and saw that his cheeks were nicely pink and he looked content. He was beautiful and there was a little bit of Robin in him…
Maureen’s eyes were wet, but she didn’t feel the tearing grief of the last few days. She had one beautiful son left and her dearest Shirley, who was her daughter in all respects but blood. In that moment Maureen knew that however much she hurt, she must put a brave face on for her family. If she shed tears she would do so in private, but she would let the world think that she was recovering. In her heart she knew there would always be a part of her missing, but she had to try for the sake of those she loved.
She went softly to Shirley’s room and looked at her. She was sleeping with the old teddy Maureen had once given her in her arms. Maureen bent down and kissed her cheek. Shirley murmured but did not wake and Maureen returned to the bedroom.
‘All right?’ Gordon asked sleepily. ‘Do you fancy a cup of tea?’
‘I’ll make it,’ Maureen said and bent to kiss his cheek. ‘You stay there, sleepyhead, and I’ll bring you a cup up…’
‘Yes, please,’ he murmured and closed his eyes.
When Maureen took him a cup of tea up later, he was fast asleep. She went back down to drink hers alone, but Gran came into the kitchen in her dressing gown.
‘Any more in that pot?’
‘Plenty,’ Maureen said and poured a cup for her. ‘I’m sorry if I woke you, Gran.’
‘I sleep very little. Gordon says you were sound for a while?’
‘Yes, I needed it. It’s the first time I’ve slept properly since…’
‘I know…’ Gran sighed, looking at her sadly. ‘There are no words, Maureen. No mother should have to go through what you’ve been through.’
Maureen nodded and sipped her tea. ‘No, they shouldn’t – but I’m not alone. Richard’s little sister died and his mother blames him. I don’t want Shirley thinkin’ I blame her.’
‘No one is to blame,’ Gran said. ‘It’s just life – when you’ve lived as long as I have, you’ll realise that…’
‘Yes, that’s true,’ Maureen said, ‘but it doesn’t make things easier.’
‘It never does…’ Gran hesitated. ‘What about his father? Are you going to let him know?’
‘You mean Rory? I wouldn’t know where to find him,’ Maureen said. She shook her head as she made up her mind. ‘Gordon was the only father Robin ever knew or needed. If Rory turns up I’ll explain – but I’m not sure he’s even still alive…’
‘Well, I suppose if he’d wanted to know, he’d have been in touch before now…’
‘Robin never had a card or a present from Rory. He only visited him once. I don’t think he’ll be much bothered,’ Maureen said, but the back of her neck prickled, because in her heart she knew that wasn’t true. Rory had been angry because she’d married another man and refused to let him have his son, though his behaviour towards her had warranted her response. Rory had let her down more than once and Maureen had hardened her heart against him. She didn’t trust him and she didn’t want him near her son; she’d been afraid he might try to snatch him. Rory wouldn’t have forgotten her and one of these days he would turn up unannounced and there would be a row…
*
Maureen packed up all Robin’s toys and his clothes. Every time she touched something of his she felt like weeping. The clothes were clean and the toys she washed with soap and disinfectant, because she intended to give them to the orphanage in Spitalfields and didn’t want to pass on an infection, though the doctor had said it was unlikely.
She called in to see Peggy when she returned from her trek. Peggy was sitting at the table looking serious, but she glanced up and smiled.
‘Have a sherry – or tea?’ she asked.
‘Tea please,’ Maureen said. ‘You looked thoughtful?’
‘I’ve just got back from taking Fay to the hospital. They’re keeping her in overnight and she screamed and clung to me, but the specialist says he needs to do tests on her ears and if I stay she won’t respond to them…’ She sighed and looked upset. ‘I could hear her screaming all the way down the stairs as I left and it made me feel as if I’d abandoned her. I almost went back, but they said I couldn’t stay – and there was Freddie to think of…’
‘Oh, Peggy, how awful for you.’
Peggy sighed and poured the tea. ‘It was a rotten feeling – but what about you?’
‘I took Robin’s things to the orphanage,’ Maureen said. ‘I can’t give them to little Gordon, because they would always remind me, and those kids in the orphanage have so little. Sister Morrison was very grateful. She told me they lost two sisters – twins – to the chickenpox and thanked me for my courage in thinking of them at such a time.’
‘You seem a little better?’
She sighed. ‘I feel empty inside – but I have to try for my family.’
‘Yes, it’s the only way – but don’t be too hard on yourself, love.’
‘No, I shan’t – but I’m starting to think about other things, making myself carry on. I’m not quite sure what to do – what do you think of this…?’ Maureen took her father’s letter from her bag and showed it to Peggy. ‘I think I need to give the coins to Violet. They are hers by right…’
‘You could try,’ Peggy said when she’d read it, a wry smile in her eyes, ‘but you’ll have a job finding her. She’s gone, Maureen – done a bunk, owing you eight weeks in rent. Gordon knew she was behind with it, but he didn’t feel like badgering her for it. He told me, she’s taken everything of value from the flat and left the rubbish for him to clear out. Everything is in a mess apparently and he didn’t want you to worry…’
Maureen stared at her and then suddenly laughed. ‘Well, trust her! That is Violet all over! I had no idea she hadn’t paid him. Why do you think she did it?’
‘Someone said her son had been seen in the lane. She may have gone off to avoid him… or with him…’ Peggy looked at her, because Maureen was still chuckling to herself. ‘What’s so funny?’
Maureen shook her head. ‘I’ve been wondering how to tell her about the coins, because she would be bound to think I hadn’t given her all she should have. I suppose I’m relieved she’s finally gone…’ Violet and her son had caused too much trouble for Maureen to feel anything but relief at her disappearance.
Peggy nodded. ‘Gordon said it was worth the mess to be rid of her. He had Bert from the junkyard clear it and he’s changed the locks so she can’t sneak back in.’
‘Well, that’s it then,’ Maureen said, closing her eyes. Gordon hadn’t breathed a word, knowing she couldn’t bear any more in her deep grief so he’d taken care of it all for her. ‘The gold coins are worth more than a couple of months’ rent – but I shall forget about Violet. Gran said they were mine and so did Gordon, though I thought she should have them. I would have given them to her – but then Shirley got the chickenpox…’ She didn’t need to explain further. Maureen hadn’t been able to think about a few old coins in her grief.
Peggy nodded and reached across the table to touch her hand. ‘I think you’ve done the right thing, love. Now we all have to try and think of the future – though I’m afraid for Fay’s if she’s deaf…’ She glanced at the mantle clock as her thoughts went to the child left in hospital.
‘Perhaps they can do something for her at the hospital?’ Maureen said.
‘Yes, perhaps,’ Peggy said as the door opened and Maggie ran in, followed by Freddie and Janet. The little boy climbed on her knee and she kissed him. Maggie clung to her other knee, both looking up at her. ‘Did you have a good time, my darlings?’
‘Yes, Granny. It was fun…’ Maggie said and ran back to her mother, who bent down to remove her coat, hat and scarf.
‘Uncle Ryan bought us sweeties,’ Freddie said and grinned at her. ‘I likes Uncle Ryan…’
‘It was just some barley sugars,’ Jan said. ‘We all had a drink of lemonade and a bun – and Ryan bought them all sweets. I’ve got some for Fay… where is she?’
‘In the hospital for tests… they decided to keep her in and she wasn’t too happy, especially when I had to leave.’
‘Oh dear,’ Janet pulled a face as the children settled down on the floor to play with Freddie’s tin soldiers. ‘That wasn’t easy for you, Mum?’
‘No, nor for her,’ Peggy said with a sigh.
9
Shirley was back at school. She was a bit down when she came back for tea the first evening. Three of her classmates had died of the chickenpox and it had upset her again, but her school was holding a special service to commemorate the children who had been lost to the virulent disease. Their head teacher had told them that it had been a particularly nasty strain and affected many children in various ways.
‘It wasn’t just here in the lanes,’ Shirley brought the news. ‘Our teacher said that children had suffered in lots of other places and the church will have three schools there to remember and thank God for the lives of those who were spared.’ She looked thoughtful, because she understood it more now. ‘I didn’t think about all of us who got better, Mum, I just got angry because of those who didn’t… but my teacher says it could have been worse.’
Maureen nodded. She couldn’t accept the teacher’s platitudes, because she’d lost too much, but it had made Shirley feel better about what had happened and she was glad of that mercy.
‘Miss Marlowe says her sister is a nurse and looks after children in the hospital. I thought I wanted to be a teacher, Mum, but now I think perhaps I might be a nurse.’
‘You’ve got a few years before you need worry,’ Maureen said and smiled inwardly. ‘I was a nurse for a while at the beginning of the war, as you know. We did what we could to help the injured men, but we also had to help the old, who had boils and incontinence and terrible coughs. You need to be dedicated to looking after people to take up nursing, love. It isn’t a bit glamorous but smelly and tiring and hard on the feet.’
Shirley nodded but looked thoughtful. Maureen wouldn’t try to influence her, though it had always been her daughter’s ambition to be a teacher and she silently cursed Miss Marlowe for putting ideas in Shirley’s head.
However, she was pleased to see her smiling as she played with Gordy, as everyone had now started to call little Gordon. She looked after Gran too, trying to help her as much as she could by fetching and carrying, but she always did her homework. Whatever her plans for the future, she knew her education was important.
Richard from next door came round more often these days. He brought messages from his mother or books he’d taken out of the library and wanted to show Shirley. They spent ages looking at the books, especially the illustrated ones.
Shirley told her that Richard wanted to be a doctor. ‘He always thought he’d like to take up medicine, but now he’s decided it’s what he’s going to do and he’s studying hard. I’m helping him.’
Maureen nodded and smiled. Perhaps she’d misjudged the situation. She’d thought it was Miss Marlowe that had set Shirley to thinking about becoming a nurse, but it might well have been Richard’s ambition to become a doctor.
Gordon looked serious when she told him as they were preparing for bed one evening.
‘I’m not sure whether or not it is a good thing – Shirley has the intelligence to do whatever she sets her mind to…’ Maureen said.
‘If she wants to study medicine why not set her sights higher,’ Gordon suggested. ‘Richard wants to be a doctor – well, I think Shirley could aim for that as well. A lot of women train as nurses, Maureen. You know that and you know it takes hard work – but how many female doctors are there?’
‘Not many…’ Maureen was thoughtful as she took in his suggestion. ‘I think Shirley could do it, she’s certainly intelligent enough and hard-working –I’ll suggest it to her, unless you want to?’
‘You talk to her first, love. She worships you and I know she will listen.’
Maureen broached the subject that evening after tea. Gordon was out in the shed filling the coal bucket for the morning.
‘Is Richard coming round this evening?’
‘Yes. He has a new book about anatomy he got from the library.’
‘He is determined to stick with his lessons and try for a place at medical school?’
‘Yes, he’s made up his mind…’
‘Then why don’t you try too? If you studied hard I’m sure you could pass the entrance exams, Shirley. You could learn together then… perhaps at the same medical college.’
Shirley sat with a fairy cake in her hand. She looked stunned, as though she’d never considered it. ‘Do you mean it, Mum?’
‘Yes, why not?’
‘For one thing, it is expensive to go to medical school – all the books and lodgings and things. Richard wasn’t sure if he would be able to, but his father told him he has an insurance for him that comes out when he’s sixteen – and he’ll use it to support himself. It’s what his dad wants for him, to get on.’
‘We’ve got money put by for you, love. Your dad would pay your expenses and I’ll help as much as I can with clothes and pocket money…’
‘Oh, Mum…’ Shirley’s face lit up. ‘Do you think I’m clever enough?’
‘I’m sure of it. The hard part is that you’ll have to stay on at school when your friends start to leave and find work. They will have money to spend and some will get married, but you’ll have to go to college and work for years – are you prepared for that?’
Shirley nodded solemnly. ‘Richard’s going to specialise in surgery – but I’d like to be a paediatrician and look after children.’
Maureen nodded, impressed by her use of the correct word. Not many girls of Shirley’s age would even know it let alone what it meant. ‘When I was nursing a lot of the nurses wanted to specialise in the children’s wards but we were needed to look after the men who had been wounded; there were so many of them, the wards could hardly cope.’
‘Do you think the war will end soon, Mum?’ Shirley asked. ‘Miss Marlowe says the tide is turning against the enemy – but some of the children say that Germany is still strong and those horrid bombs are still hitting us… killing folk.’
‘Yes, I know.’ Maureen sighed. ‘I won’t lie to you, darling. A lot of terrible things have happened these past years, but I believe we shall win in the end. I don’t know when, but things are going our way at last.’
‘Miss Marlowe puts maps on the walls and tells us about the Allies’ advances and she says that riots are going on in Berlin. They’ve had enough of being short of food and the bombs. We never had riots here – did we?’
‘We’re British,’ Maureen said. ‘I think some people demonstrated now and then but most of us just kept going…’
‘The British Bulldog – that’s what the kids at school call Mr Churchill,’ Shirley said and laughed. ‘I like him. They showed us a film with a projector and slide in school and it was Mr Churchill giving the victory sign and talking to the troops – and the King and Queen waving from the balcony at Buckingham Palace. Both the princesses were wearing uniforms and doing things to help the war effort. I volunteered to roll bandages in my playtime…’
‘Did you, darling? That was good…’ She smiled at her daughter. ‘I think we could get you into the first-aid classes at the women’s group… if you’d like to join. It would get you started – and it is always useful.’
‘Thank you, Mum,’ Shirley said and threw her arms round her. ‘I do love you…’
‘Love you too…’ Maureen hugged her.
Shirley settled with her homework and Maureen got on with her knitting. It was good to see Shirley enjoying her life and looking forward to the future. For herself it was an effort to carry on as normal, because the pain in her heart never seemed to get any less, but she’d promised Gordon she would try and so she smiled and talked and only Peggy really saw past the barrier she’d raised in her heart.
*
‘I wanted to tell you,’ Peggy said when Maureen visited the next day. She’d knitted a little pink cardigan for Fay and took it round as a small gift. ‘You’ll never guess what was wrong with Fay – and it’s such a relief…’ Peggy’s smile lit up her face.
‘What do you mean?’ Maureen was puzzled.
‘Her deafness,’ Peggy said. ‘We all thought that it was the illness that caused it, but the surgeon at the hospital said no – she had a tiny wooden bead in her left ear. It had been there for a long time and wax had formed round it, and the illness may have slightly impaired her hearing in the right ear, but now the foreign object, as he called it, has been removed, she can hear much better. She hears me when I speak to her now.’ Peggy’s eyes were moist with tears. ‘I’m just so relieved…’
‘Oh, Peggy, I’m so glad for her and for you…’ Maureen smiled. ‘But how did that bead get there?’
