The Women of Mulberry Lane, page 14
Sheila was stunned. She sat for several minutes in silence, and then said, ‘It would suit me very well, Mum, and I’m grateful for the idea – but I don’t know about Pip.’
‘Well, he could still find something in the aircraft industry if he feels up to it,’ Peggy reminded. ‘He always liked drawing planes. He could design them with one eye – and the business would be a backup until he got going… but it isn’t for me to tell you two what to do.’
‘You haven’t. You’ve been very generous,’ Sheila said. ‘Will you speak to Pip about the pub – or should I?’
‘I think it should come from me. I will give him time to settle first, love. Able and I are in no hurry – are we?’
He shook his head and smiled at her lovingly. ‘Anytime you’re ready, hon.’
‘We shall go down to Able’s cottage in the country next weekend. Janet’s wedding will keep me busy for the next few weeks. After that, we’ll have more room here. If you want to start helping out in the bar or cooking – that’s fine by me.’
‘Yes, please,’ Sheila said earnestly. ‘I want to help. I know you’ve had a hard time keeping it all going these past years and it’s only fair I do my bit. Pip needs me to help him wash and dress, but then he can manage. I don’t know what he’ll find to do with himself…’
*
Peggy tried not to fuss over her son, even when she saw him struggling with the crutch that helped him walk. His leg would take a while yet to heal, though his arm was already much better. She noticed that he got a little bit cross with Sheila when she tried to do things for him and she felt sorry because his wife was clearly struggling with her emotions. Sheila’s hormones were all over the place and she needed comfort and reassurance herself, but Pip was too immersed in his own misery to notice his wife’s needs. She felt hurt when Pip snapped at her and Peggy understood. Pip was like his father in some ways and if upset or frustrated it came out in sharp angry words that he regretted afterwards.
He seemed to respond to Jan the best and she treated him as if nothing was the matter, expecting him to do more than he could and only helping if it was plain he was floundering.
‘Sheila fusses too much,’ Janet told her mother when they were alone in the kitchen. ‘Sometimes, she’s more like his mother than his wife.’
‘She worries about him…’
‘We all worry about Pip, but it irritates him,’ Janet said. ‘Dad was just the same – but he was hardly ever ill…’
‘He is now,’ Peggy responded with a sigh. ‘I had a letter from one of the doctors. He told me they had thought he would make a recovery, but apparently he has been worse recently. This doctor says the danger is pneumonia. If Laurie gets it, he wouldn’t have much resistance…’
‘What do they expect you to do about it, Mum? None of us has been allowed to visit him for months…’
‘No, and we’re not now,’ Peggy said, frowning. ‘I ought to tell him the situation – and I should like a divorce, but I can’t ask now. I thought when he sent that letter he must be gettin’ better…’
‘You can’t do anything,’ Janet told her. ‘Besides, you’re happy with Able – does it matter if you can’t get married?’
‘Not for the moment,’ Peggy agreed. ‘One day it may matter to the twins, but Able knows I’m stuck for the present. I couldn’t tell Laurie even if I wanted…’
‘No…’ Janet looked thoughtful. ‘There’s always something, Mum. I thought when Able returned everything would be wonderful for you – but now there’s Pip and Dad too…’
‘You’re not to worry about it,’ Peggy said. ‘I told you, because I thought you would want to know about your father, and if you want to write to him, do – but I shan’t tell Pip. He has enough to cope with just now.’
‘He made his peace with Dad when he was first ill, though I’m not sure Pip ever forgave him in his heart,’ Janet replied. ‘Besides, it might shake him out of his mood of self-pity if he had someone else to worry about…’
‘Janet!’ Peggy gave her a reproving look. ‘You should know that some things hit us too hard. At times, all you can do is defend yourself and you don’t think of others in those times…’
Janet looked ashamed and then smiled. ‘I know. I shouldn’t talk after what I put everyone through…’
‘We understood, love, and now we have to understand how Pip feels too…’
‘It makes me feel guilty that I’ll be leaving you…’
‘Nonsense!’ Peggy touched her cheek lovingly. ‘I shall be happy thinking of you with Ryan and Maggie in your lovely home…’
‘You’ve got a nice home in the country now,’ Janet said. ‘Able was telling me about it – and you’re going down this weekend.’
‘Yes, and it will be lovely,’ Peggy said. ‘I remember how happy we were there before, Jan. When we come back, we shall have your wedding – it’s all looking good for us.’
‘Yes, this family has come out of it well,’ Janet said and looked solemn. ‘When you realise that eight out of ten families in the lanes have lost someone to this war… some have lost three sons…’
‘I know; that happened to Mrs Forrester from Gun Alley and it broke her…’ Sadness clouded Peggy’s vision for a moment. ‘That is why we all have to make the most of what we have. Pip will realise it in time. We just have to give him that time…’
*
Able was serving in the bar when Gordon and Maureen went in that evening. He shook hands with them both and then expertly poured their drinks.
‘We came out for an hour or so,’ Maureen said. ‘Gran says she feels fine and it’s time we had a night out. We’re going to a concert in the church hall in half an hour but thought we’d have a drink first.’
‘Would you like me to call Peggy?’
‘No, I’ll see her another time,’ Maureen said and smiled. ‘How do you like being back over here?’
‘It’s where I belong,’ Able told her confidently. ‘I knew when I first met Peggy that my future was with her. I just had to convince her…’
‘She is so happy!’
‘That makes both of us,’ Able said. ‘We’re going away in the morning for a couple of days. I have a cottage in the country – and you two are welcome to use it sometime if you’d like?’
‘Good of you,’ Gordon said. ‘We’re a bit tied up at the moment, but I’m hoping to take my family to the sea in the summer.’
Able grinned. ‘The cottage is pretty close to the coast – and I meant what I said. Peggy’s best friends are always welcome…’
Able went off to serve another customer. Gordon looked at Maureen and sipped his beer.
‘Nice chap. We might take him up on it when we have time…’
‘Peggy always said it was lovely down there,’ Maureen said. ‘She didn’t tell me where exactly, but I know she mentioned the sea – but we’d have to leave Rose in charge of the shop.’
‘Someone would probably look in now and then…’ Gordon said and broke off as Rose entered the bar. ‘Something is wrong with that girl – is she drunk?’
Rose was stumbling, knocking into tables as she weaved her way towards the bar. Her hair was untidy and her make-up was streaked. She reached the middle of the room and stood looking blindly in front of her as if she did not know how to move on.
‘She has been crying,’ Maureen said and jumped to her feet. She rushed towards Rose and took hold of her arm. ‘What’s the matter, love? What has happened?’
Rose stared at her, seeming for a moment as if she couldn’t focus. Wordlessly, she pushed something at Maureen. Maureen took it, saw it was a telegram and read it.
Sergeant James Morgan missing in action believed dead…
Maureen stared at the one sentence, ignoring the rest. She remembered that Jimmy had written to Rose cancelling their wedding because he was being sent on a course – but it seemed he’d been sent overseas instead. She glanced at the telegraph again, but there were only condolences and no word of explanation.
‘Come and sit down, love,’ Maureen guided Rose to a chair and pressed her into it. She signalled to Able and he poured a small brandy and brought it to the table. ‘Thank you – Rose is upset. Could you fetch Peggy, please?’
‘Sure thing,’ Able said and went off in search of her.
Gordon came over a little uncertainly. ‘Something wrong?’
Maureen showed him the telegram and he nodded, looking grim. He knew about the cancelled wedding, because Maureen had told him and he left them, going over to meet Peggy and explain in a soft tone about Rose’s news.
‘Oh no, not Jimmy too…’ Peggy looked upset as she came to join them. She sat down next to Rose and took her hand. Rose let her; her eyes blinded with tears.
‘He’s gone,’ she whispered in a choked voice. ‘Why didn’t he tell me? Why did he lie to me about why he cancelled the wedding?’
‘Perhaps he couldn’t tell you,’ Peggy offered. ‘Perhaps it was some kind of secret mission – and you’ll only be told after the war, if then…’
Rose stared at her, the tears trickling down her cheeks. ‘I thought he’d got tired of me and made it up…’ she said and a little sob left her lips. ‘Oh, Peggy, why? I loved him. Why did it happen to me? Why my Jimmy?’
‘I don’t know, love,’ Peggy said. A lot of women had asked the same thing these past few years and there was never any answer. ‘Come through the back to my kitchen where we can be alone.’ She looked at Maureen. ‘Are you comin’?’
‘No, not tonight,’ Maureen said. ‘I’m very sorry, Rose. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’
She got up and walked over to Gordon as the two women left the bar together.
‘You could go with them if you want…’ he said, but she shook her head.
‘No, I can’t help her, Gordon. Peggy will do what she can, but we can’t stop her pain…’
‘We’d better go or we’ll miss our concert,’ he said. ‘If you still want to go?’
‘Yes. We don’t get out often, love. I think we should carry on. This time I think Peggy is the one Rose needs…’
*
Peggy spent more than an hour talking to Rose, often repeating the same things over again as she tried to ease the shock and grief that had overtaken Rose. Gradually, Rose calmed down but looked so empty and miserable that Peggy knew she couldn’t let her go back to an empty house all alone.
‘You’ll stop here tonight, love,’ she told her. ‘I’m sorry I don’t have a bed to give you, but you can sleep on my sofa and I’ll give you pillows and blankets.’
‘You’re very kind, but I’d rather go home,’ Rose said and at last she stopped crying and seemed to have lost the dazed air that she’d had when Peggy first saw her. ‘It was just such a shock that I had to tell someone and this was the only place I could think of to come.’
‘We’re friends and I should worry about you being on your own, Rose.’
‘It’s all right, Peggy. I shan’t do anything stupid,’ Rose said. ‘It isn’t the first time I’ve lost the person I loved – but it is the worst…’ She raised her head. ‘At least I know now that Jimmy didn’t cancel the wedding because he’d stopped loving me. He was sent somewhere dangerous and he thought it was the best thing. He was always worried about me being left with a broken heart…’
‘Oh Rose, love,’ Peggy said and wanted to hug her, but she sensed that Rose would simply push her away. She’d withdrawn into herself and shut the world out. ‘Let us help you…’ Peggy pleaded, but Rose got up and walked out of the kitchen door, through the dark yard at the rear.
*
Rose let herself into the house. It struck cold after the warmth of Peggy’s kitchen and she shivered. Peggy was kind, but she hadn’t wanted to stay there, because she knew everyone would tiptoe round her, pitying her, and she couldn’t bear that or their sympathy. At the moment the world felt dark and empty and she wished she could just die, but she knew she didn’t have the will or the determination to end her own life. Rose had thought about it after her baby brother and her mother had died; she’d wanted to get away from the awfulness of her life then, so she’d come to London and she’d found a good life and friends – and Jimmy, who had made her feel loved and wanted.
Jimmy was gone and Rose didn’t know how to bear it. She’d thought they would be married and live happily ever after like a fairy story, but this was a nightmare. Somehow, she had to get through it, but she didn’t know how – didn’t know how to bear the pain inside her.
Rose went upstairs to bed. She crawled under the counterpane and pulled it over her head Perhaps if she just went to sleep she would never wake up. She’d forgotten to turn off the lights in the kitchen, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered any more.
*
‘Rose hasn’t turned up for work today,’ Gordon said when he got home the following evening. ‘It didn’t matter, because I could manage – but I thought you should know, Maureen. She looked dreadful last night.’
‘I’ll go round and see how she is,’ Maureen said. ‘I was cooking you a chop and mashed potatoes tonight, Gordon. I’ll get them done and then I’ll go…’
‘I can fry Dad’s chop,’ Shirley said. ‘We learned how to cook a pork chop at school today. You go, Mum. I’d like to do it…’
Gordon smiled and nodded. ‘Go on then, my girl, and I’ll watch you…’
Maureen nodded to Gran, slipped on her coat, because the evenings were chilly, and went up the lane and round the corner. Although the blackout blinds were drawn, she could see a tiny chink of light under Rose’s door. She knocked, but there was no answer, so she tried the handle and the door opened.
‘Rose, are you there?’ she called as she went in.
There was no answer and Maureen could tell from the freezing state of the kitchen that the fire hadn’t been lit in days. She looked in the parlour, but that was like a block of ice, the inside of the windows crazed with frost. She ran upstairs, still calling out, but there was no answer. In the front bedroom, which had been Jack and Maud’s, she saw the shape of Rose’s body under the covers.
‘Rose, are you all right?’
Maureen went to the bed and touched the girl. There was no movement and no response. She pulled the top cover back so that she could see Rose’s face. Her eyes were closed and Maureen touched her face. She felt so cold! A chill went through her. Had Rose taken something to end her life?
Rose stirred and moaned, her eyes opened, but she looked at Maureen without seeing her.
‘Jimmy…’ she whispered. ‘Jimmy…’
‘Don’t die, love; I’ll get help,’ Maureen said and pulled the covers up over her. She ran to the stairs and then to the back door. Emerging into the street, she saw a man walking towards her. He was wearing a soldier’s uniform and as he got nearer, she could see it was Jack Barton; he must have come home on leave.
‘Jack, thank goodness,’ she said. ‘I’ve just found Rose ill in bed in your old room. The fires haven’t been lit in days and she has been neglecting herself. I’m goin’ across the pub to ring for a doctor. Would you go in and get the range goin’ for me? I’ll come back as soon as I’ve phoned…’
‘The poor lass,’ Jack said sympathetically. ‘I was just about to call. Tom said she and her man were gettin’ married and I thought they might not want to continue the tenancy. It wasn’t a permanent arrangement…’
‘I’ll be back in a tick…’ Maureen said and ran across the road. She went into the bar. Both Sheila and Janet were there, Peggy and Able having gone off to the country, and they told her to use the phone immediately.
‘I was afraid of somethin’ like this,’ Janet said and shook her head. ‘When Mum told me how upset Rose was, I thought she’d make herself ill…’
Maureen made her call and then explained that Jack was at the house. ‘He’s lighting the range for me and I’ll make her a hot-water bottle and see if we can warm her up – but the doctor said he would come straight away.’
‘You get back then, and I’ll pop over in a few minutes…’ Janet looked at Sheila as Maureen hurried away. ‘You can manage for a while? Mum would want me to go over…’
Of course I can, Jan.’
Janet put her coat on quickly and went across the road. She liked Rose even though she didn’t know her well, and she sympathised, because she knew what it was like to lose the man you loved.
She arrived at Jack’s old house at the same moment as the doctor drew up in his car. He nodded to her and followed her in the back door.
‘Where’s my patient?’
‘In the front bedroom…’ Janet looked at Jack, who had built up the fire and had a kettle boiling. ‘I doubt Rose will be drinking tea…’
‘Maureen wanted a hot-water bottle – but if she doesn’t need it, I could do with a cuppa. I brought a pint of milk with me and it’s as well I did – the lass doesn’t have a thing in the cupboard to eat or drink.’
‘She was upset because Jimmy cancelled the wedding – and then she had a telegram to say he was missing in action presumed dead. I suppose she just hasn’t bothered…’
‘Poor lass,’ Jack said and frowned. ‘Tom is right fond of Rose. He told me all about her. I hope she pulls through…’
Maureen came down a few minutes later. She looked at them anxiously.
‘The doctor is going to phone for an ambulance. He asked if he could use your phone, Janet. It’s nearer than the only phone box that works, most of them don’t.’
‘Yes, of course,’ Janet agreed. ‘Is there anything I can do for her?’
‘No, she’s barely conscious and she doesn’t realise what is goin’ on.’ Maureen frowned. ‘I can stay until the ambulance comes…’
‘No need for either of you to stay,’ Jack said. ‘I’m ’ere and I’m goin’ to stay for a couple of days. I shall use Tom’s old room – Rose told him he could whenever he was home, so there’s no reason to think she’d mind me bein’ here. Besides, I think I ought to talk to the landlord and pay the rent. Jimmy was payin’ it, but he can’t now and she may be behind…’
