I watched the struggle in him as he went from me to Lucy and back.

  “Tracy pulled her from the city pound. Her time was up and because she is a pitbull mix, they weren’t trying really hard to find her a home. It’s sad because she is a good girl.”

  “So why aren’t you just adopting her then?”

  “I needed to know she would get along with you and Oscar too. I want all of the most important ones in my life to get along.”

  “Well, I think she is a sweetheart.”

  “Me too. Feel like another short walk?”

  “Sure.”

  I let him wrap his arm around me again and I leaned into him. I was holding on to both the dogs’ leashes and neither of them pulled at all.

  Inside the dog run, Jake got me settled on the small bench and then he unclipped the leashes. It was great to see them run and play with tag each other. There wasn’t a care in the world on their end in that moment. They were truly happy and living for the now.

  “I think she’s a keeper,” I said to Jake. I didn’t take my eyes off of them until he spoke.

  “Yes, I think you are too.”

  He leaned in and kissed me softly for the first time. I felt myself come alive and for a moment, nothing but him mattered.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  I wasn’t sure what to do and sat there frozen. Even though he wasn’t touching me anymore, I could feel the warmth of him on me. I wanted him to do it again, but I wouldn’t initiate it. If he wanted more, he wouldn’t have stopped. Maybe it wasn’t as good for him as it was for me or maybe he thought it was a mistake. Either way, I sat there on that bench and blindly watched the two dogs play.

  Nothing was said between us for the longest time. When the silence was broken, it was by him.

  “Hayden, I like you a lot. I don’t know if I can wait for you to get out of rehab before I ask you on a real date. So, I think I will have to step down as your PT.”

  “Wait, what? Does that mean I won’t see you?”

  “No. I will still be there for you every day. But this way I can take you out for real. I hate having to hide how I feel about you. It isn’t right. If it isn’t what you want too, I need to know now.”

  I could see on his face that whatever came out of my mouth would dictate where we went from there. He looked down when I didn’t jump at answering him. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I didn’t get why me.

  “Jake. There has to be someone you want that isn’t defective.”

  “You aren’t. It is a scar. We all have them. I know you don’t think you are special, but you are wrong.”

  “I don’t know why you think that.”

  “Because,” he said and grabbed my face with his hands turning me to face him, “you are sweet, caring, and gentle. From all I have seen for myself and all your friends have told me, you are what I have been looking for. Don’t crush me, please. Say we will do this and give it a chance.”

  “And if it goes bad?”

  “It could. I know this. Nothing in life is guaranteed, but what good is living if we don’t take the risks?”

  I looked into his brown eyes and saw the way they pleaded with me. It was terrifying but I thought back to how I felt earlier in the day when I thought he wouldn’t be there with me and how much that hurt. Maybe he was right and us trying wasn’t the worst idea.

  “It is the same as me trying with Lucy. I don’t know how it will turn out with her, but I am going to try it. And you with Oscar. The best things in life are often the ones we know nothing about when we go into them. All I am asking for is a chance, Hayden.”

  “A chance? I guess we can try it.”

  “Thank you,” he kissed me again, but it wasn’t as gentle that time. It was hard, fast, and needy. “I can’t say I love you yet, but I am getting there.”

  I didn’t understand how or why. I didn’t need to. I needed to let go and let him in. He was right about that part; we were a risk but one worth taking.

  “Okay. I will terminate my position with you and get you set up with a new PT. As soon as that is done, I want to take you on a real date. Not a dog park in the cold.”

  “I like dates like this though,” I said and smiled at him before watching the two dogs run around and chase each other.

  “Me too.”

  He laced his fingers around mine and sat a little closer. I moved in to rest my head on his shoulder. I knew we had to be careful for a while yet, but there wasn’t anyone out there and I wanted to feel the heat from him.

  We let the dogs play for another hour before the cold became too much for all of us. We gathered up the leashes and Jake got us all to the truck. Oscar and Lucy climbed into the back seat and Jake helped me into the front.

  “Will you go one more place with me today?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  It felt great to be out of the rooms of the hospital and rehab center. I would have stayed out forever if he would have let me.

  I wasn’t sure where he was taking me, but I watched the scenery around us. It was beautiful with all the colors. He stopped in front of a building and the bold, playful letters on the front read “Howard County Animal Shelter.” I turned to look in the back and watched Lucy’s body droop.

  “Are you taking her back?” I asked him as he looked for a place to park.

  “No, but the papers I have to fill out are in here.”

  “Oh,” I said and sat back. It took a second for my brain to get what he said. “So, you are adopting her then?”

  “Yes. After today, I couldn’t send her back even if I wanted to. She was happy and not cowering in a corner of the kennel.”

  He got my walker out of the back and helped me out before getting the two dogs. I followed next to him as we made our way inside.

  “Hayden,” Tracy squealed when she saw me. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”

  “I wasn’t either,” I said and laughed. The smell of the place seemed familiar and the layout of the halls did too.

  “Do you remember any of this?” she asked me hopefully.

  “I think so.”

  “You do?” Jake asked.

  “Yes.” I started to go down the hall on the left and stopped. “The dogs are down here, and the cats are to the right. We kept the puppies in pens in the small animal room down the same hall as the dogs, but they were on the opposite side.”

  “Yes,” Tracy said. “Hayden, you remembered something on your own.” Tears clouded her eyes, but she blinked them back before they fell.

  “It smells like home,” I said quietly.

  “You were here all the time, so that doesn’t surprise me.”

  “What did I do here?”

  “Almost everything. You were with the dogs more, but you helped where you were needed.”

  “When can I come back here to work?” I asked and looked right at Jake.

  “I would say as soon as we can get you walking without that,” he said and pointed to my walker.

  “Okay.”

  I would do whatever it took. Being there in that place felt like I knew who I was a little. If it took me walking on my own, I would push through the pain and make it happen.

  “I think you found your reason,” Jake whispered in my ear. He gave it a small kiss so fast, Tracy missed it.

  “One of them. I have three more now to get better fast.”

  “Then let’s help you,” Tracy said coming up next to us.

  “It won’t be easy. There is a more aggressive approach we can move to, but I think you are strong enough to do it now,” Jake said.

  “Whatever I have to do. If I can get one part back to normal, maybe it will help with others.”

  “Maybe,” he said smiling.

  “I have the papers for Lucy ready for you, Jake. I assume you wanted her since you brought Hayden with you?”

  “Yes, I do. She is a sweet dog and I think you found me my perfect match.”

  “Okay, great. Here, you can use my desk to fill out all of this,” she said and handed him the three-page application. He was already approved, but the paperwork had to be in the system.

  “Thank you.”

  She got him set up then came back out to where I was sitting on one of the chairs in the lobby.

  “Today went well I take it?”

  “Great,” I said and no matter how hard I tried to hide it, the smile wouldn’t leave my face.

  “Good,” she said and smiled back.

  “Tracy, I don’t have a boyfriend, do I?”

  “Nope. You were always here or lost in your books you liked to read. You never made time for a relationship. Not that I didn’t try to push you into one, but that is another story for another day.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive. Why?”

  “I think I might now.”

  “Who?” she screamed.

  “Shh.” I put my finger to her lips to shut her up before Jake heard her.

  “Jake?”

  “Yes. He is stepping back from working with me because he wants to see what would happen if we took that chance.”

  “What is the problem?”

  “I’m scared. I don’t know who I am, so how can I be anything to someone else?”

  “Easy. He knows who you are now and that no matter what, you are a great person. Any idiot could see that.”

  “But I’m not close to what he deserves.”

  “You know this how? I think you are exactly who he needs. You two would only bring out the best in each other. I know you don’t remember much, but I do. I know who you are, Hayden, and it isn’t different than who you are now. I also know Jake. Have since we were kids. He is a good guy and I think you should put your fears aside and try.”

  “I really like him, and it scares me.”

  “Good. If it didn’t, I would worry.”

  “What are you worrying about?” Jake asked coming out of the office with his papers in hand.

  “Nothing. Worried about Lucy not taking advantage of you,” Tracy said and laughed at her own joke.

  “She will. No doubt about that. How can I possibly say no to her face?”

  “You can’t,” Tracy said

  “I know. I now have two weaknesses in my life,” he said and looked at me.

  “Or strengths,” I fired back.

  “Yes,” he said with a small laugh.

  Tracy stood behind us smiling, and for the first time for as long as I could remember, I felt normal and happy.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “Ready to try this?” Jake asked standing by my side.

  “Ready.”

  I let go of the walker and began to take a step. I wobbled to the side and my arms flew out to hold my balance, but I didn’t fall. I took another step and another without any help.

  “You’re doing it,” Adam said.

  “I knew she could,” Jack threw in.

  “Guys, I need to concentrate,” I got after them.

  “Sorry,” Adam said.

  I made it to the other side of the room. My legs burned, but I did it. I wanted to shout out in happiness, but it was only a small step compared to what was still ahead of me. Jake brought the walker to me for the walk back to where the chair was. I was disappointed I couldn’t get back to it alone, but like they had said a million times, I had been through a lot and my body had to build up the strength again.

  “She is making huge improvements,” Dr. Richardson said peeking his head in as I made it back.

  “She really is,” Jake replied never taking his eyes off of me.

  “Think you might have something to do with that,” he said.

  Our eyes met and as hard as I tried to fight it, I couldn’t. The smile took up the lower half of my face. I couldn’t imagine having to do this without Jake there with me. He had been a big part of why I moved as fast as I had. I wanted to be as normal as possible so we could try to have a real relationship. That wouldn’t happen with me stuck in the rehab facility. The fact he switched so he wasn’t my physical therapist helped, but it still felt wrong to be dating while I was staying where he worked.

  “I heard you have a new lady in your life,” Dr. Richardson said to Jake.

  “Oh yeah. Lucy. She is a trip that one. One small tilt of her head and she gets whatever she wants. I swear she has my whole world figured out already and is changing it to fit what she needs.” He laughed about it, but I knew better. He was hooked on that dog and there was no way he wouldn’t do whatever he had to for her.

  “That’s good. Maybe she will keep you out of trouble.”

  “Doubt it,” Jack threw in.

  “Me too,” Dr. Richardson laughed. “How is your back and side feeling today, Hayden?” All joking done, he switched to serious mode.

  “Still sore but better than it has been.”

  “Good. I want to take a look at it quick.”

  “We will be back,” Adam said and grabbed Jack’s hand to lead him out of my room.

  “I will be back too,” Jake started.

  “Please stay,” I begged and reached for his arm.

  “Okay.”

  Dr. Richardson removed the bandages and the slight tugging of the still raw flesh brought tears to my eyes.

  “Looking better,” he said as he wiped an ointment on it. “I think a few more weeks and you will be good to go.”

  “Is that how long I am going to be in here?”

  “No, not necessarily. If we can get the other things lined up, we can have you come back as an outpatient to have these changed and checked.”

  “What do I have to do to get out?”

  “Ready to leave us?” Dr. Richardson asked.

  “I’m ready to put my life back together.”

  “That is a great sign. I want to see you walking without someone needing to help you. I don’t care if it is with a walker, but I need to know you can do it without falling. I think your memory will slowly come back to you, but that might take you doing your normal day things. Overall. I want to see that you don’t need help with simple life tasks.”

  “Okay.”

  I took what he said and made that my goal. I would prove to them all I could do this. On top of the list they wanted me to do, I had one of my own. I needed a place to live, to get back to working and to get my dog with me.

  The other big one I had was seeing where things with Jake would go. I had hope for us and that was a huge factor in getting out of there.

  “Good. I know you will do this, Hayden. You have already beat every goal I had for you and early. You aren’t throwing a ‘poor me’ party. Instead, you are using all of it to get to the next step. We will miss you around here, but I am so proud of how far you’ve come.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Richardson.”

  “Keep doing what you are with her, Jake. It seems to be working.”

  “I will,” he said and winked at me.

  “Alright. Well, you are cleaned, medicated, and wrapped. I will leave you alone for now. See you in a few days unless things change.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  Jake waited until he was out of the room before turning to me.

  “Alright. We have goals. I am going to hold you to these because I want to see you on the outside of these walls.”

  “Me too.”

  “You’re close. I don’t see why we can’t do this in a few weeks tops.”

  “Me either.”

  “Want to try the room again?”

  I really didn’t. My legs, side, and back hurt, but I also wanted to push myself a little harder too.

  “Sure.”

  “Okay. I am right here if you need me.”

  “I know.” I smiled at him and he returned one of his own. He really had become a huge part of my life in a short time. Not having all of my memories back, he took up a large part of what I knew then. I knew Adam, Jack, and Tracy would have said something if he wasn’t good for me. The fact that all of then gave me their blessing with trying our relationship told me all I needed to know.

  I made it across the room and back without help. I was sore, exhausted, and hopeful. Adam and Jack came back into the room when I was on my way back to the chair. Adam’s hand went to his mouth to hide the shock of watching me move faster, and Jack put his hand on Adam’s shoulders and smiled.

  “She’s got this,” Jack said.

  “We better finish getting your room ready. You will be home in no time.” Adam seemed thrilled about having me there, but I still worried I was invading their space.

  “You guys don’t have to…” I started.

  “Stop,” Adam said. “We want you there. Besides, you need to be close to everything and we are five minutes from here and fifteen from the shelter.”

  “Okay, but only for temporary.”

  “Fine. I can’t stand the thought of you not having a place to go to though.”

  “I will be fine. I’m not alone in this. I have you guys and Tracy.”

  “Yes. Your family.”

  I cringed at the word “family.” I still wasn’t sure if I had one, and nothing I did made memories come back. The fact none of them knew either made me wonder why. It would come later, it had too.

  “Okay, so you have a temporary place to go and we have a plan. Time to get you as good as new,” Jake said.

  “Good as new,” I repeated. I knew I would never be like I was again, but I would be who I could be and that was enough.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Three weeks later

  “Ready?” Jake asked.

  “So ready.”

  “Good,” he said laughing. “Let’s get you out of here.”

  “Freedom,” Adam bellowed behind us, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  He brought Oscar with him that day to help bust me out of the rehab center. It was weeks of extremely hard work, but I did it. I was on my way to a somewhat normal life.

  “Jack will be home in about an hour. I figured we could get you settled in, then I can do a nice dinner for us. Jake, will you stay for supper?”

  “Sure.”

  “Perfect,” Adam said. “I will leave her with you while I run to the store then. What do you want for your first night out, Hayden?”

  “Spaghetti,” I said.

  “Really?” Adam asked wrinkling his nose.

 

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