“I’m sorry.”

  “It isn’t your fault. I’m sure you can think of a hundred other places you would rather be than here.”

  “I would, if I could remember any of them.”

  “Good point.”

  We sat there in silence for a while. He looked like he would fall asleep and I knew I could. I wanted to tell him he could go, but if I did that, he would have to take Oscar too and I wanted him there. It was the one rule the place gave us, one of them would have to be there the whole time Oscar was.

  “You look as tired as I feel,” he said.

  “I am. They had me do a lot today.”

  “I say we nap. They said I had to be here, not that we had to be awake.”

  “And you found the loophole.”

  “It’s my job to find them.”

  He stood up, took an extra pillow and his coat, and made his way to the couch. I watched as he sprawled out as much as he could, covered himself with his jacket, and began to snore softly in seconds.

  Oscar was sound asleep next to me too, and it didn’t take long before I drifted off with them.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Two weeks later

  Jake had been there every day for the past two weeks. Even on his days off he came in to sit and visit. Tracy, Adam, and Jack would take that time to go do something for them. Because Jake was there, Oscar was allowed to stay even though they didn’t. I liked those days the best. I was starting to care about Jake and when we had the time together, when he wasn’t on call, we could focus on us more.

  Oscar seemed to like him as much as he liked me and would even let him take him out of the room without putting up a fight.

  He said I was getting stronger and he hoped I wouldn’t have to be in the center for longer than a few more weeks. I was excited about that but also nervous and sad. I wasn’t sure what would happen yet. Adam and Jack offered a spot at their place for me until I was ready to get my own. I would have to get back to work for that to be a thing and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to handle all the animals yet.

  I also didn’t want to not see Jake every day. He became a part of my new norm and one of the highlights for me. If I wasn’t there, would I ever get to see him again?

  I would be with Oscar all the time though and that was the only thing that helped when the overwhelming fear of what I would have to face next crept in and tried to choke me out. I knew if he was there with me, I would get through anything.

  Tracy said she was holding my position at work and wouldn’t put out an ad for new kennel help until I knew if I would or wouldn’t be able to do my old job. I wasn’t sure yet on what I actually did for her, but she promised to help me with that when the time came.

  We still hadn’t pinned down any family for me, but I learned to rely on the new one I had. Tracy, Adam, and Jack were all the family I needed. They showed up and helped me through all of it the past month. They never complained or griped about having to be there. On the days I told them not to come, one or more showed up anyway.

  It was a Saturday and Adam already dropped Oscar off to me. He was taking Jack to his parents’ house for the afternoon and they were in a hurry. Jake hadn’t come in yet and I was afraid they wouldn’t let me keep Oscar with me until Jake got there.

  “I cleared it with them, hon. If he doesn’t show up soon, they will call Tracy and she will come stay with you for a while,” Jack said taking the leash off of Oscar.

  “Okay.”

  “Stop frowning. We have this all worked out. It isn’t a big deal. He needs to see you and you need him. She will get here if she has to,” Adam said but stayed by the door. Jack’s parents hated it if they were late for anything.

  “I’ll stop. Go before you get yelled at.”

  “Going,” Jack said and gave me a kiss on the cheek before turning to catch up with Adam.

  “Now what?” I asked Oscar. He turned to look at me and his eyebrows danced separate of each other as he tried to figure out what I asked.

  “Now, we have lunch.”

  My head snapped up and my heart raced at the sound of his voice. Oscar got up to greet him too. He didn’t leave the bed, but he stood there with his tail wagging waiting for his ear rub.

  “Lunch? That isn’t for another thirty minutes.”

  “Not today. I made you something.”

  “You can cook?” I asked and raised an eyebrow at him.

  “I can. I love to cook. Here,” Jake said and took a plastic container out of the brown bag. “I made you spaghetti and meatballs.”

  I laughed at how excited he was for the simple meal. It smelled delicious though and my stomach growled in anticipation.

  “I wondered what to bring you, but who doesn’t like spaghetti?”

  “I wouldn’t know,” I said and laughed.

  “Me either.”

  He took two paper plates, forks, and garlic bread out too and laid them out on the tray. Bringing it closer to me, he folded the napkin over his arm and pretended to serve me like he was a waiter.

  “That smells so good,” I said and closed my eyes to breathe it in better.

  “Good. Now if it tastes good, I really scored.”

  “Definitely.”

  He gave a small laugh then jumped straight up out of the chair he had just sat in.

  “I forgot drinks. Be right back.” I watched as he ran from the room and was tempted to start without him.

  He was back in no time with two cans of grape soda in his hands.

  “Not real, but we can pretend it’s wine,” he said and shrugged.

  “Great idea.”

  “Eat before it gets cold,” he urged.

  I twirled the noodles on my fork and took a big bite of the sauce covered pasta. It was amazing, and I was glad he brought that for me instead of the bland food I got there.

  Closing my eyes, I chewed the pasta slowly letting every spice dance on my tongue. There was a hint of something sweet, but I couldn’t place it.

  “What did you put in here to make it sweet?”

  “Brown sugar. Just a little. It cuts down on the acid from the sauce. I love spaghetti, but I shouldn’t be eating it.”

  “Huh. Well, it’s amazing.”

  We finished our food without talking anymore and when it was done, he turned back to me with his head cocked. I let out a small laugh because Oscar copied him.

  “What if we went outside for a little bit? I can wheel you out if you don’t think you could walk that far. I’m sure Oscar would like that.”

  “Can we bring it with in case? I want to try and walk out there on my own though.”

  “Sure. I will push it out for you.”

  “Thanks.”

  He hooked Oscar to the leash and handed it to me before bringing the walker over. I looped the lead over my wrist and grabbed the handles pulling myself up. Jake stood close enough to catch me but far enough away I felt like I was doing it on my own. Oscar stood like a statue and waited for me to set our pace.

  “Ready?” Jake asked.

  “I think so.”

  “If you feel like you have to stop, say something.”

  “I will.”

  I made it to the lobby, and we were almost out the side door when Linda stopped us.

  “It’s a great day to go out. Happy to see you trying it,” she said to me with a huge smile on her overly plump face.

  “Thank you,” I said back to the sweetest receptionist I had ever met.

  “Take care of this one, Jake, she is special. I can tell.”

  “Yes, Ma’am,” he replied before opening the door for me to go out.

  Despite the sun being out, it was chilly, and I was wishing I would have brought a sweatshirt out with me. The breeze blew right through the thin long sleeve top I had on. Oscar moved closer to me on the bench I found to sit on, and I snuggled tighter to him. The heat he threw off helped but the rest of me was freezing.

  “Here,” Jake said and unfolded a blanket I hadn’t seen him put on the wheelchair. “I thought you might want this.”

  “Thank you,” I said as he carefully wrapped the plain pale green blanket around me. He made sure not to bump my left side at all and I pulled it in tighter around myself and the dog.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Aren’t you cold?”

  “Nah. This is my favorite time of year. The leaves are so colorful, and the heat is gone. This is the time of year I feel most alive.”

  “I like the heat. I think,” I said and tried hard to remember if that was true or not.

  “I can see that about you. They are talking about an early winter this year. I hope they are wrong. I talked to Tracy the other day and she said the shelter is over max and if it gets cold too soon, they won’t have places for the new animals coming in to go.”

  I felt a sudden ping of pain for what he said, and I didn’t understand it. It made me feel like I needed to be doing something to help, but I wasn’t sure what it was.

  “I need to help her,” I blurted out so loud and fast, I startled us both.

  “You need to get better. That is what you have to work on.”

  “Can I ask you something?” I started. I wanted to find the best way to ask without offending him, but it was a question that nagged at me for the past two weeks.

  “Sure,” he said and sat back on the bench we shared.

  “Why do you come here so much for me? Even on your days off you are here. Don’t you have other things to do than hang out with me?”

  “I could I guess. I like your company though.”

  “I like yours too, but you are wasting all your time with me.”

  “I don’t see it at a waste, Hayden. If I am honest with you, and myself, I am here because I like you and I want to get to know you better.”

  “Like me?”

  “Yes. I can’t do anything about it until you aren’t under my care anymore, but when you get better, I would like to take you on a real date.”

  “I don’t know,” I started.

  “Why? What are you afraid of? We have fun together, right?”

  “Yes. But…”

  “But what? One date won’t hurt.”

  “Jake, I’m a monster now. I’m not what you want.”

  “How do you know what I want? I know what you look like under the bandages and I don’t care.”

  “But why?”

  “Because, Hayden, I think you are special.”

  I didn’t agree with him, but I didn’t want to push it so he stopped coming around either. We sat there in silence after that and wrestled with our own thoughts. Both trying to figure out what was going on between us and neither coming up with an answer.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  I saw Jake every day that week again for rehab and when Saturday rolled around, I waited to see if he would come by again or if I ruined it by talking the weekend before.

  It was almost lunchtime and I hadn’t seen him yet. With each hour that went by, my hopes faded with it. I blew it and had no one to blame but myself. My fears and insecurities might have pushed away the best thing I had.

  I was so focused on what an idiot I was that I didn’t hear him come into the room.

  “Are you sleeping?” he asked softly.

  “No,” I said. My eyes flew open and I couldn’t fight the smile that took over the lower part of my face.

  “Good. Get dressed,” he ordered.

  “Where are we…”

  “Clothes on. Let’s go.”

  He went back out of the room shutting the door behind him as he went, and I began to put the clothes on that were at the end of my bed.

  It still hurt to move my left side, but I was getting stronger each day; I was walking the length of the hall and didn’t need to use the wheelchair at all.

  My hair was slowly coming back in and I had a decent layer of fuzz covering both sides of the scar that ran down my head. I wasn’t sure how my back and side looked since I refused to see it again after the first time. I knew it hurt worse than it had before and was told it was a good thing. I didn’t see how so much pain was good, but I went with what the doctors said and tried to push through it.

  “Ready?” he asked and poked his head into my room.

  “I think so.”

  “Good.”

  He came in and pushed the walker closer to my bed. I pulled myself up and waited to hear where we were going.

  “Let’s do this then.”

  “I don’t even know what it is we are doing.”

  “Then my evil plan to keep you in the dark is working.” He gave his best impersonation of an evil laugh and I had to laugh back at him.

  He brought me out to the parking lot and to a new pickup. It had to be his, it fit him so well. Black with chrome wheels and trim. It was spotless and tall.

  “What are we doing? I can’t get into that thing,” I started.

  “You’ll see and yes you can. I will help you get up the steps.”

  I looked at him, then to the truck and back. He said steps but all I saw was ground and door.

  “Relax and trust me a little.”

  He pushed a button on his key fob and steps popped out from under the truck.

  “See. I know what I’m doing.”

  “That was pretty sneaky,” I said laughing.

  “I’ll help you get up if you need it.”

  “Let me try first.”

  “There is the fight I love.”

  I almost fell off the first step when he said that. I didn’t see anything special about me and it was clear from the few that came to see me, I wasn’t the only one who thought that way. What he thought I had confused me. I didn’t know who or what I was, but he seemed to.

  “Got it?” he asked rushing to me when I slipped.

  “Yes. I’m good.”

  As soon as I was in, he closed the door and folded the walker, throwing it into the back before he walked around to climb in too.

  “Can I know where we are going now?” I asked when he started the truck.

  “No.”

  I sat back and didn’t say another word. I watched as the city faded away and country took its place. The trees filled both sides of the narrow road and the colors caught my eye. The reds, yellows, and oranges blended together and made the perfect canvas of fall.

  He turned to the right and stopped when we got to a park. Squinting my eyes, I tried so hard to figure out why it looked so familiar to me. I couldn’t place it no matter how hard I tried and all I ended up with was the start of a headache.

  “Do you remember this place at all?” he asked. I saw the hope in his eyes, and it crushed me to have to answer him.

  “No. I feel like I should though.”

  “This is the park you would walk the shelter dogs in. Tracy said this was where you were hurt. I thought bringing you here, to a spot you knew well, might help you remember something.”

  I looked around at it again and tried harder to remember. Nothing came to me.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t remember this place.”

  “Hmm. Okay. Sit tight for a minute. I will be right back.”

  He jumped out of the truck, slamming the door before he took off into the distance. I lost sight of him when he rounded a couple trees.

  I sat there looking around at the things outside and inside his truck. There wasn’t much inside to look at. He had a realistic rubber duck hanging from the rearview mirror, but other than that, it was impossible to tell anyone owned it.

  Outside looked colder than I remembered it being when we got into the truck. The sun was playing peek-a-boo with the clouds and they were winning. The wind picked up a little and leaves danced across the still green grass. I didn’t see another person around, but the wind was making the swings at the small playground sway.

  There was a fenced in area to the right of the playground with a big red fire hydrant in the corner. A metal hoop and a three-tiered platform were staggered in the small space. Coated in blues, greens, and yellows, I assumed it was a small dog playground.

  The walkway went all around the lake and a trail broke off to the left in between rows of trees. The canopy it made was like a scene from a movie. I wanted to walk through it and see where it took me.

  “Okay. I am all set up. Ready?”

  With my hand over my heart, I tried to slow the beating from him startling me.

  “Yes. I think so.”

  “Good. Let’s go. I don’t know if you will be able to push your walker through the thick leaves on the ground. But if you lean into me, I will get you over there safely.”

  “Over where? Where are we going and what are we doing here?”

  “You’ll see. Come on now.”

  He gently got me down from the truck and with his strong arms carefully wrapped around me, he led me over to a covered picnic area. I walked over there with nothing but him to help. It was a little scary, but his arms around me felt good.

  “Here you go,” he said as he helped me to sit down. His lips brushed against my cheek and I closed my eyes to take in the feeling of him that close to me.

  I hated that I felt the way I did about him. It wasn’t what I should have been focusing on, but as hard as I tried, Jake was all that was on my mind. I waited for him to show up every day and hated when he said goodbye for the night. The weekends were my favorite though. His time wasn’t divided between me and the other patients; I got all of him.

  It wasn’t long before he was back with a basket and not only Oscar, but another short-haired grey dog.

  “Hello,” I said to Oscar as he tried to get out of Jake’s grip to run to me. Jake dropped the leash and he flew to my arms.

  “That dog loves you. He mopes around all the time until he sees you,” Jake said with a laugh in his voice.

  “Who is that?” I asked and pointed at the other dog.

  “This is Lucy. I have her out for the day because I am thinking about adopting her.”

  “She is beautiful.”

  “And sweet. Oscar loves her.”

  “I see that.”

 

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